In Defense of Intelligemence: A Polemical Discourse on Self-Mediocritization (and Tuesday Open Thread)

Hi kids.  I apologize for the even-more-aggressive-than-usual tone of tonight’s Open Thread, but I have Grievances.

The readers, commenters and authors (be all of them!) of this site are a weird lot, with interests ranging from football to cooking, obscure history to tawdry reality shows, alcohol to other, stronger types of alcohol.  The distinguishing characteristic of this population is its intelligence. I would call this the smartest sports-and-dick-jokes website on the net, at least since the Society for American Baseball Research removed that video of Bill James telling his version of the Aristocrats

Our lamented predecessor KSK is famously described in Wikipedia as “high-minded vulgarity,” and if there’s a legacy we carried away, it’s that- a commitment to being the cleverest horrible human beings we can be.

That is why I am here.

That is almost certainly why you are here, unless your quest for porn had you stumble over one of the AVN Award posts.  (No, seriously- based on site analytics, it happens A LOT).

We don’t break news. We don’t conduct in-depth statistical analysis, unless you’re using that as a euphemism for the Temptation Island threesome recaps.

We exploit passion about sports as a common frame of reference to try to make each other piss ourselves laughing.  It’s an intellectual exercise that keeps us sharp.  It gives us an outlet for the internal thoughts that our friends and families would either not understand at all or consider reprehensible.  It is a sense of belonging in a world that too often presents as stupid, uncaring or beyond unjust.  And while we can’t fix those things, this site ensures that we are not alone in thinking that way.

I bring this up because the wave of anti-intellectualism that rose before Trump and crested with anti-vaxxers is forcing us to walk small. No one wants to hear from the smartest person in the room anymore.  It’s always been a streak in American culture (although it receded a bit during the Space Race), in part because the underlying principle of democracy is that the opinion of a smart person who has informed themselves about the issues is entitled to no more weight than that of the dumbest, least-informed member of the community. America is suspicious of the Smart Person, because they might be pulling something over on us- and if there is anything intolerable to the American Character, it’s the thought of being a Sucker.

I would wager every one of you reading this has had to intentionally underplay your own intelligence to make someone else feel better about themselves.

Dumbing down your language.  Downplaying your knowledge or accomplishments.  Making yourself smaller so that someone else feels bigger.

And I’m fucking tired of it.  Are strong people obliged to pretend they can’t lift something? Are great chefs supposed to intentionally underseason? Do tall people go through life hunching over so that the rest of us don’t feel so small?

I’m actually asking that last one. I’m 5’9″ and have never, ever been tall for my age.  It’s a totally foreign concept.

So it’s time.  Be you.  Don’t be a dick and let your intelligence be your sole and defining source of self-esteem, or consider yourself Better than someone else. But give yourself room to breathe.  Let your brilliant freak flag fly, even if it’s only in our comment section below.  I don’t care if you don’t think your jokes are funny.  For fuck’s sake, one of our regular commenter’s shtick is just to call things “Rockin!” and it’s FUCKING HILARIOUS.  This is a safe space.

Be proud.

Be you.