Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

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This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:

The best way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing [in bed].
Walt Disney.

kinda creepy with him running a theme park and all.

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As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post. Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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Youngest right is well on her way to the next big thing. She’s not quite doing the impossible entire state of California from South to North but she’s giving it a hell of a go. She left San Diego this morning, stopped just outside of Bakersfield, had dinner at Pier 39 in San Francisco and is now driving to Redding. I rented her a room for the night and there’s free breakfast for her and littlest right in the morning. Then it’s 10 hours to Seattle tomorrow.

You want to test your fucking nerves as a parent?

She’s got 4 nights at an Airbnb in Seattle then she moves into her new pad and new career at The MotherShip in Redmond Washington.

Show then who’s boss kid. You got this shit.
yeah right

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Don T

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I believe this makes both Jeff Fisher and BOSS TODD 0-2 [ after week 2 in the USFL].

On a separate topic, The Pickle is a great name for a car and a penis. Since it was a Pinto, did you ever have anal sex in it or was it just too dangerous?
ballsofsteelandfury

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WCS, watching UEFA Semis: “Well, that was quick.”

Princess: (disappointed scowl)
WCS

What’s she complaining about? Marital relations with royalty is about producing heirs, not orgasms.
Horatio Cornblower

(the problem is, WCS’s spawn will not be inbred…no Hapsburg Jaw means no title)
SonOfSpam

“This kid isn’t a hemophiliac! The people will never accept him!!”
Horatio Cornblower

Royal families should all be pro-union since they can’t abide scabs.
SonOfSpam

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Sometimes, the change, it is sudden.
King Hippo

My wife, having another hot flash
Horatio Cornblower

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I ordered a roll of bubblewrap and it arrived today.

It came packaged with bubblewrap so that the real bubblewrap wouldn’t be damaged during shipping.

Brick Meathook

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I just got back from Von’s, amongst my expensive groceries (557 bucks, American, what the infernal fuck?) Is a copy of Lindy’s draft mag, for my man. I should just let him read the stuff here, but he’s not fluent in DFO. Although I think I told you guys this, he was on KSK back in the day. I’m sure he was annoying!
Gumbygirl

I can teach him Hippo FOAR Beginners in 10 short weeks, and I only require 40% of that sweet Army pension lucre*!!

*opiates as like-kind substitution greatly appreciate
King Hippo

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The draft on a Wednesday is stupid.

That will be all.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I think it’s on Thursday. Source:

Don T

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We’re at the Loma Londa emergency room, fun! Gumby has something on his face that his derm didn’t want to mess with, without imaging. I expect to be here for hours.
Gumbygirl

Gumby, pictured below. Frankly, I don’t blame the dermatologist.

Horatio Cornblower

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Found a funny;

Doctor: we weaned you off the hallucinegic drugs, you’re clean now

Shaggy: how great is that scoob!

Scooby: woof

Shaggy: what
rockingdog

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Why hasn’t there been a nationwide tourism campaign for Butte, Montana that features Sir Mix-a-Lot?
Doktor Zymm

If you love open pit mining, Butte might just be for you!
Mr. Ayo

So there are lots of Butte holes?
SonOfSpam

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People who need to be stabbed in the penis (and this subset of cretin are ALWAYS MEN) – those who don’t want to take ownership of a project/aspect of a project, but then insist on micromanaging and criticising how YOU do it.
King Hippo

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Anyone else married to an angel?

The day after her sister-in-law told her she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer my wife arranged for a leave of absence from work. As someone with a nursing degree she made sure that pain medications were at proper levels so that her SIL died comfortably. Today she’s making a four hour round trip so that her 14 year-old niece has a nice dress to wear at the funeral.
scotchnaut

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So it turns out waking up at 5:20 am, working out with a trainer for 1.5 hours, then driving an hour south to train and ride a horse before driving another hour back home, all the while checking my work phone and not eating anything, is a great way to make myself utterly useless for the rest of the day. Curry chicken salad, bottle of rosé and a book before falling asleep at some stupidly early time like 8:30 pm
Doktor Zymm

“Working out with a trainer for 1.5 hours? This is the best news ever! [claps hands excitedly] When do you get to be a conductor?”

-B. Meathook
scotchnaut

“I was all set on going to college and being an engineer, but Cooper explained that those engineers don’t get to drive the choo-choo.”

-Eli, from deep inside Fort NotForPeyton
LemonJello

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I’m convinced the Oregon guys knew that blowing up the whale was going to be a disaster, but they just really wanted to blow up a dead whale.

And I understand that.
Horatio Cornblower

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There’s no way that Dr Chao knows what HIPPA is
Game Time Decision

Inflammable means flammable?!?!
WCS

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Shoutout to Horatio for putting this post [ mock draft] together and commenting the whole way through. Well Done!
scotchnaut

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A little bit surprised that Lions fans know how to cheer.
scotchnaut

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I’m glad we have a place to come and mock the draft
Doktor Zymm

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THIS JETS WAR ROOM, I CALL THEM AEROFLOT, BECAUSE THEY’RE TRYING TO FIND PARTS TO KEEP GOING, BUT THEY’RE JUST GOING TO END UP CRASHING AGAIN
LemonJello

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With the 9th pick Seattle select the learn the real truth about the underground tunnels in LA the Lizard people use.
Spur

Wilson was traded as a secret agent to learn the truth of the Denver Airport for Pete
Gatoraids

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Mmm…seasoned veteran…

-J. Dahmer
SonOfSpam

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Like a South Bend elevated work platform in a windstorm, this pick for the Ratbirds seems a little shaky.
LemonJello

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When someone said “the 12th pick” I was like, man, Mitch Trubisky had a pretty good practice today.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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With the 18th pick the Tits select a nice self contained wind powered generator for their Puerto Rican fanbase
Spur

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Not at all surprised that Bill Belichick would go out and get some Strange [, Cole].
scotchnaut

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Do I have a Court hearing at 9:30 tomorrow? Yes.

Is it remote? Yes

Will I be wearing pants? No.

Does Covid have some positives? Yes

Should I have another beer?

I leave that to you.
Horatio Cornblower

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“The Jets again???”

-The Second Tower
scotchnaut

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“Welcome to the family”

-Text received from Aaron Rodgers just now
LemonJello

“Blocked”

-Rodgers’ response
scotchnaut

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Just scrubbed out a toilet and then gave the brush a rinse with the flush before putting it back.

Immediately thought “Dr. Mrs. Deadly, Esq., (ret), is gonna have my legs broken”
Horatio Cornblower

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Just based on the name I was expecting something margarita-esque, but no! Might try this later today. I have today off and while there are things I should do, it’s been so long since I had a truely nothing day I think I am gonna have some wine with breakfast and not do any of those things
Doktor Zymm

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Brick Meathook

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Sharkbait

“Oh yeah. You gotta unleash the dragon.” – Rex Grossman

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Do you think the Blue Man group has groupies?
clint greasewood

Bluepies.

Blewpies?
SonOfSpam

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I bet the Giants package all those extra picks in order to move up 5 spots so that they can draft a punter. [takes temperature] Oh damn, looks like I’ve come down with a serious case of ‘The Gettlemans’.
scotchnaut

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This Round 2 is Exact Change Only because no one’s getting a quarter back.
Redshirt

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/approaches Clubhouse
//looks around at post-draft Clubhouse

///contemplates scene

////removes pants
WCS

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Youngest son loves vehicle-centric movies but had not seen the Bullitt chase scene until today. How does this happen?
scotchnaut

Canada finally got VCRs?
SonOfSpam

[sends a very nasty response via semaphore]
scotchnaut

JerBear50

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Watching “Beauty and the Beast” as a grown up isn’t exactly the same when watching as a kid.

The enchantress punishes a young, arrogant prince for not giving her shelter in the storm by turning him into a beast? Okay. One, he’s a teenager, you can’t ruin a teenager for one act of asshole. If that’s the case, no teenager would make it to adulthood. Two, why would true love break the spell? She just wanted out of the rain, not betrothed. Finally, why were his subjects punished with him? Were they cheering his actions? No one deserved to suffer that hell because their regent is an asshole; especially the poor souls who became the toilets.

The townspeople ostracizing Belle for being such a bookworm really aged well into 2022.

Speaking of with, Gaston really aged well in 2022. Belle is America and Gaston is the Trumpublican Party. Democratic Party is The Beast, a selfishly amoral entity that needs to discover its capacity for change, growth and acceptance before the final rose petal falls and we’re all doomed. Non-Trumpers like me are the aforementioned les toilettes.

If Belle is so smart, why doesn’t she trick Gaston into going to the castle alone instead of with an army. “Oh, Gaston? I’ve fallen in love with you and I found this castle we can live with that is so worthy of a man like you.” “You are right, Belle. I am worthy of a castle.” (one carriage ride later) “Who’s that dangerous beast? “Oh, yeah right. I almost forgot. He’s my landlord. Hey, Beast? Can you kill the guy?” “On it.”

Why couldn’t Beast just invite Belle’s father to stay with them in the castle instead of releasing her to go back to the village? You can drag him back to the village but you can’t drag him back to the castle?

And of course:

♫♪♪
Noooooooooooooooo Onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnne
Misogynistics like Gaston.
Overcompensates like Gaston.
Ooses toxic masculinity like Gaston!
♫♪♪
Redshirt

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Rams signed a free agent kicker tonight, so the two kickers on the roster are:

Gay and Dicker
SonOfSpam

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Found a funny;

Can tell I’m 37 because I’m getting a 4:30 PM coffee with somebody and structuring my whole night around it like we’re doing mushrooms in the desert
rockingdog

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Found a new word!

Tatterdemalion: 1. ragged or disreputable in appearance. 2. being in a decayed state or condition.
scotchnaut

So…Jim Tomsula or Jim Tomsula’s bedroll. Nice.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

as in: “The rancid scent of Jim Tomsula’s tatterdemalion hobo roll made us all recoil in shivering disgust”

BeefReeferLives

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My porn channel is Nag Me to Emasculation.
Don T

Mine is GIF Previews are More Than Enough Time.
Redshirt

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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