BOTG Seems Very Likely – Sign-Up Sheet Nightly Thread

No, this isn’t like signing up for one’s week in the barrel.  I am not much of a planner, but I wanted to take the group’s temperature overall.

Where: Baltimore, MD

When: Friday, 15 July through Sunday, 17 July

Why: Frank Lampard’s Everton v. King’s Afrikan Water Pistols (7p Saturday, 16 July, whatever the Ratbirds’ stadium is called)

I feel confident in saying I am 90% in, along with main pilot (he knows a good route, and is likely to be on fewer drugs than Hippo) Armed and Hammered.  Despite the nomenclature and such.  He is welcome to bring weaponry if he wants.  That’d be pretty gangsta, yo.  Other Hippo is all about DAT STREET CRED.

So, here are the questions I have thought up:

  1. Ideas for base camp DFO hotel?
  2. Are you in for Friday night, Saturday night, or both (include confidence levels if you wish)?
  3. Do you plan to attend the Everton/Arsenal fixture?
  4. Ideas for shit to see and do outside of the Everton events (there is supposed to be a Toffees pub crawl, which is just an option – but I will track down details).
  5. Should I bring the ashes of the cat who was my fellow Everton supporter?  Or is that weird even for me??
  6. Volunteers for ensuring we get Maximal Fozz Bourble?

Again, I apologize for being such a shitty planner.  Once I have a rough idea of the groupings, perhaps we should establish a Slack channel (I am completely unable to initiate that) or if your e-mail address in the DFO Stasi Files is current/valid, I will e-mail you.  Eventually.

Ice Giants and Ice MRSA play a potentially deciding Game Six tonite (8p, ESPN).  I hate both these iced squadrons, but YMMV.  It is MRSA with the 3-2 series lead.

There is probably also baseball and other dumb shit, but realistically I will just fall asleep reading.  The 25th Hour by David Benioff – HIGHLY recommended to booky-book readers of all flavoUrs.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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rockingdog

Found a funny;

british person: eat it

me: [tears in my eyes] it’s 5:30 in the morning

british person: [puts knife to my throat] eat the fuckin beans

Mr. Ayo

Better than mashed peas.

Horatio Cornblower

British “food” is generally awful, but mashed peas are special even by those standards.

Mr. Ayo

I can’t imagine how I would react if I ordered fish and chips and got this:

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Gumbygirl

They even call them “mushy peas” like it’s a good thing. Yuck.

scotchnaut

First Documentary on Super Ecran-

Voulant obtenir une promotion, une secretaire ambitieuse fait des heures supplentaires.

scotchnaut

Next Up-

Des couples libertins decident de depasser leurs propres limites a trois!

/not gonna lie-I’m tres interesse

ballsofsteelandfury

Everything seems more erotic in French

Last edited 2 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Mr. Ayo

Oui oui!

SonOfSpam

Where????

-D. Trump

ballsofsteelandfury

Ooh la la!

Horatio Cornblower

Color guy on the ESPNU game seems awfully surprised that all the balls are hard hit, considering both teams are using aluminum bats.

Horatio Cornblower

Announcers: (talk about UConn’s shortstop losing 20 lbs. so he could play better.

Me: (shoveling Doritos in my gaping maw while cracking open another IPA) Pussy

ArmedandHammered

Doobie Brothers concert was awesome. I think the wife and I were on the lower end of the age range there though. The venue really should have allowed people to be dropped off at the gate, I mean walking 1/2 mile on gravel with a walker or cane was really rough for most of the attendees.

Horatio Cornblower

Think how the Doobie Brothers felt.

ArmedandHammered

Jesus, at 70+ they put on one hell of a show, 24 songs with some new material that was really good and bounced around that stage like they were still in their 20’s. Considering how many people at the venue were smoking, they may out live their fans.

scotchnaut

[stops singing ‘Listen To The Music’] “SHOW ME YOUR TITS!”

-[several guys take off their wife-beaters]

Horatio Cornblower

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ArmedandHammered

Hippo, I am in. During the drive I will clean and sober, up until I am no longer driving and the edibles will disappear like gummi bears at a Weight Watchers meeting.

rockingdog
Mr. Ayo

And everyone laughs at me for not filing in the last 10 years.

They’ll never know and they’ll never care.

Horatio Cornblower

Gonna start filing in writing and just filling each form with total gibberish.

Horatio Cornblower

After 2 innings, UConn 9-Robber Baron U 4.

I think there have been 4 HRs, but could be 5.

Aluminum bats change the game a tad.

scotchnaut

With the wifey being away (Montreal) my plan was to do a bunch of yardwork and then drink half a bottle of scotch. I exceeded my own expectations-the bottle of scotch is 3/4’s empty!

scotchnaut

I rarely stay up past 11 on any night but when I do, I watch the French “Super Ecran” channels because they show straight-up porn late at night.

/reminds me of the Saturday “Bleu Nuits” movies I watched as a early teenster

Horatio Cornblower

Boy, wait’ll you find out about a little thing called “the internet”

ballsofsteelandfury

I remember trips to Europe in the 90s where that exact same thing happened. I had to watch for a while to make sure I wasn’t imagining things.

scotchnaut

This guy gets it.

Gumbygirl

Late night Russian porn on Sky TV. And weird Japanese gameshows.

Mr. Ayo

Pornhub is available at all hours

Horatio Cornblower

“It is, uh, how you say, ‘le research'”

Horatio Cornblower

That was supposed to go below Balls, a phrase which I imagine Balls has himself used while doing ‘le research’ for porn.

scotchnaut

Whoa. Even during the day?

Horatio Cornblower

Fightin’ Dirt Horatios have jumped all over Stanford’s starter and are up 6-0 with one out in the 2nd.

And I remain terrified.

Mr. Ayo
Horatio Cornblower

We’re just a proud land grant institution, rather than a private college founded by a robber baron and initially led by his batshit insane widow, who consulted with him and her late son on all important decisions via seance, before she was poisoned while in Hawaii, a murder that has never been solved.

What I’m saying is fuck Leland Stanford and his stupid school.

Mr. Ayo

Proper, well researched hate.

Horatio Cornblower

In fairness, the NYTimes just reviewed a book on the subject and I happened to read it last night.

That said, the original Stanfords were fucking whacked. Literally in her case.

Last edited 2 years ago by Horatio Cornblower
scotchnaut

As far as the “Sports Underdog” movie genre is concerned, I do like Invictus the best. “Rudy” can suck cocks in a consensual way, in a gas station bathroom, as far as I’m concerned.*

*it’s getting increasingly difficult to insult people and things, btw

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s not difficult if you don’t give a fuck.

Horatio Cornblower

ESPNU just showed an ad for an “antibiotic” shower head that was less-than-subtly marketed to the females-in-search-of-a-sanitary-masturbation-device crowd.

herodotus450

Showerheads lowering the birthrate and directly causing more illegal immigration? Moen and Delta, you should be ashamed.

Horatio Cornblower

Tonight, on Tucker Carlson….

SonOfSpam

should be spelled Moan

scotchnaut

Of all the potential #Threepeat teams I’ve seen over the course of my sports watching career, Tampon is the least hate-able.

Horatio Cornblower

Yet

Mr. Ayo

Damn you to hell.

Horatio Cornblower

UConn takes an insurmountable 1-0 lead.

SonOfSpam

Just got COVID booster #2 this afternoon. SUCK IT SUB 50 YEAR OLDS.

Also, feel kinda bleh tonight, Better start drinking.

ballsofsteelandfury

Had my physical Friday afternoon. My doc recommended I wait a bit to get Booster #2 as both Moderna and Pfizer have submitted data for approval of an updated booster that handles the OG (his words, not mine) COVID and also the Omicron variants. Should be available in a few weeks.

Horatio Cornblower

I’mma sit this one out until they make one that also addresses the monkey pox scourge.

SonOfSpam

That…might have been wise. Oh well.

scotchnaut

The booster doesn’t take effect unless you say “Boo-urns” 15 times within the first 24 hours.

Horatio Cornblower

Just used the beige skin tone on my texting and was asked if I was sure I wanted to do that.

Si, cabrons.

scotchnaut

When I was in my 20’s and 30’s I purchased at least 60 ‘graphic’ novels books about philosophers, thinkers, concepts, etc. The idea was that I would pass these on to my kids and they would have access to complex ideas in an accessible form.

/they’re completely irrelevant now, for them
//wifey suggests that we sell them at a yard sale-I wonder how much we could get for “(Jean) Baudrillard For Beginners”. Maybe fifty cents?

herodotus450

“Ha! These books are mere shadows of their true book forms, I’ll give you nothing for them and you’ll like it!”
-Plato or something
“I’ll buy these books only if I want to, of my own free will, DO NOT TRY TO PREDESTINE me, fool!”
-Kant or something
“50 cents?! I’ll give you thirty. Oh and I slept with your wife!”
-Constanza or something

ArmedandHammered

“Only I would understand them, so give them to me” – Nietzsche or something

Horatio Cornblower

Steven Stamkos has had a 14 year NHL career.

He is 32.

Mr. Ayo

He was still legal then!

ballsofsteelandfury

And he’s won how many cups already?

Horatio Cornblower

2 or 3.

Mr. Ayo

⚡️ ⚡️

WCS

/femur drums begin

WCS

Bananacakes! Get yer bananacakes here!

Horatio Cornblower

SUDDEN CHANGE!!

Horatio Cornblower

EVEN SUDDENER REVERSION TO THE MEAN!!!

Horatio Cornblower

The Fightin’ Horatios, (Dirt Division), play Stanford at 10:30 in Extra Special Boy Super Regionals of the College World Series. Friend of mine has a kid on the team. Any and all good thought are appreciated, and likely very much needed.

Mr. Ayo

Best of luck Dirt!

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, UConn’s had a great season but it probably ends here.

ballsofsteelandfury

Beach volleyball would like a word.

ballsofsteelandfury

Well the Pac 12 absolutely dominates in THAT.

Mr. Ayo

Step 1: Head into kitchen
Step 2: Why am I here?
Step 3: Can’t be for my drink, that’s half full.
Step 4: *Take huge swig of straight vodka*
Step 5: Ah, now I remember!
Step 6: Finish vodka
Step 7: Make new vodka drink.

I’ll be fine.

Gumbygirl

.

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Mr. Ayo

Concur.

TheRevanchist

I laugh, yet I relate.

yeah right

Staying on point with the football theme.

Now I’m watching “Heaven Can Wait.”

Also a very solid movie.

With football!

scotchnaut

Tampon Bay is dictating the play.

Sharkbait

Presented without comment

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Horatio Cornblower

No matter what happens tonight, they have my undying gratitude for knocking Vichy Whalers out.

Horatio Cornblower

Best part was Smoltz praising the Cubs starter for doing so well throwing a fastball in the low 90’s, but “really moving it around”, literally as he was throwing the pitch that Stanton hit out at 120 mph, followed by 4 more HRs.

Horatio Cornblower

Where was Smoltz on Jan. 6, anyway?

Sharkbait

Questionable at the moment. Once a base of operations is selected I can get a better picture on the chances of participation

Sharkbait

Update. Still questionable, but trending in the right direction.

Horatio Cornblower

Fuck, I’m going to have to make an effort here, aren’t I?

Sharkbait

I’ll let you know what train I’m on and you could meet me at New Haven

Brick Meathook

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WCS

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WCS

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Last edited 2 years ago by WCS
herodotus450

Baltimore eh? Could go on the The Wire walking tour; I heard if someone in your party gets shot along they way they give you a 10% discount.

WCS

Ask for the Ray Lewis Special, but, I recommend against wearing a white suit while touring.

Horatio Cornblower

The transfer portal makes future projections useless. Half of every team will turn over every year.

ballsofsteelandfury

If this trip happens, I demand a Boots on the Ground post.

Horatio Cornblower

“It was crowded so I stayed in my room and watched TV. The End.”

-Hippo, King

Brick Meathook

The Pentagon
Arlington Va
6/11/22
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yeah right

Oh shit! Black Sunday is on Amazon. A Robert Evans production baby! John Frankenheimer directed, music by John Williams and written by Thomas Harris.

The last part I did not know.

Haven’t seen this movie since the 70’s.

Gumbygirl

That’s the terrorist(s) at the Superbowl one, right?

yeah right

It is. They just had a long distance shot of the Coliseum and the Rams were playing the 49ers. Bruce Dern is playing a lunatic – a stretch I know – and he’s the pilot of the Goodyear blimp. They just showed it landing in Carson.

yeah right

Holy shit! Joe Robbie makes a cameo and the Orange Bowl looks like a dump.

This is fantastic.

yeah right

Chuck Knoll and Don Shula, Rocky Bleier and Terry Bradshaw. This movie has everything.

yeah right

Of fucking course it’s the Steelers and Cowboys in the Owl.

yeah right

Pat Summerall and Tom Brookshire with the call.

Oh fuck, Pete Rozell.

yeah right

Bradshaw to Stallworth and it’s a touchdown Pittsburgh!

yeah right

Dallas back to punt… And it’s blocked!

That’s a safety for the Steelers!

9-0 Pittsburgh!

WCS

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yeah right

Staubach back to pass and it’s a touchdown to Patrick Howard!

Since this is 1970’s Dallas he no doubt pushed off.

9-7 Pittsburgh!

yeah right

Upon review he absolutely pushed off. Learned it from Drew Pearson.

yeah right

Bruce Dern and his girl are just flat out killing motherfuckers while outfitting the blimp.

yeah right

Staubach back to pass… intercepted!

yeah right

Immediately followed by a pass from Bradshaw to Swann touchdown Steelers!

yeah right

Staubach back to pass.. intercepted again! There’s the Dallas that I know.

yeah right

Bruce Dern had the worlds least dependable Bic lighter at the worst time.

yeah right

If you have Amazon prime you need to watch that movie. It’s the shit even if they don’t tell the final score.

Two big thumbs up!

Horatio Cornblower

That is slander, Sir

(except he almost certainly did)

yeah right

I accept both answers.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Yeah horsies! #TeamMomo

WCS

#TeamAlpo

Mr. Ayo

*checks flights*

Nope. I’ll have to postpone my viewing of a Hippo in the wild to a later date.

Mr. Ayo

Also, to answer question #5: Yes. It’s weird to have the ashes in the first place.

TheRevanchist

Would have been weird if the cat was there from the taxidermist.

Mr. Ayo

Eh, I’ve been called worse.

WCS

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WCS

I have my cat’s ashes by the TV. It’s appropriate that he’s staying right where he would, silently judging me and planning my demise if/when I was tardy for foodage.

WCS

Also for being partially responsible for the two additional, smaller, much louder two-leggers in the house, who appeared out of nowhere all of sudden and just kept getting bigger and louder.

Mr. Ayo

What is going on.

I thought I was weird for having a cat plate next to my TV. You guys have taken things to a different level.

WCS

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I never know, man.

Gumbygirl

I have three cats, a dog, and my son’s ashes by the tv. When we are both gone too, my nephew will rent a boat and dump all of us together in the Pacific.

Mr. Ayo

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Last edited 2 years ago by Mr. Ayo
BC Dick

That’s the way to go. I’m going to bury my dog in his favourite spot in the back yard. It’ll take a lot of whisky to get it dug but I’ll know he’s where he would want to be.

Horatio Cornblower

If you use a shovel it’ll go a lot faster than using whisky.

TheRevanchist

I am having a celebratory cherry lime cider, as the wife is now home. She’s doing well. I have tomato-basil bagels. All is good.

rockingdog

That’s Rocking!