No, this isn’t like signing up for one’s week in the barrel. I am not much of a planner, but I wanted to take the group’s temperature overall.
Where: Baltimore, MD
When: Friday, 15 July through Sunday, 17 July
Why: Frank Lampard’s Everton v. King’s Afrikan Water Pistols (7p Saturday, 16 July, whatever the Ratbirds’ stadium is called)
I feel confident in saying I am 90% in, along with main pilot (he knows a good route, and is likely to be on fewer drugs than Hippo) Armed and Hammered. Despite the nomenclature and such. He is welcome to bring weaponry if he wants. That’d be pretty gangsta, yo. Other Hippo is all about DAT STREET CRED.
So, here are the questions I have thought up:
- Ideas for base camp DFO hotel?
- Are you in for Friday night, Saturday night, or both (include confidence levels if you wish)?
- Do you plan to attend the Everton/Arsenal fixture?
- Ideas for shit to see and do outside of the Everton events (there is supposed to be a Toffees pub crawl, which is just an option – but I will track down details).
- Should I bring the ashes of the cat who was my fellow Everton supporter? Or is that weird even for me??
- Volunteers for ensuring we get Maximal Fozz Bourble?
Again, I apologize for being such a shitty planner. Once I have a rough idea of the groupings, perhaps we should establish a Slack channel (I am completely unable to initiate that) or if your e-mail address in the DFO Stasi Files is current/valid, I will e-mail you. Eventually.
Ice Giants and Ice MRSA play a potentially deciding Game Six tonite (8p, ESPN). I hate both these iced squadrons, but YMMV. It is MRSA with the 3-2 series lead.
There is probably also baseball and other dumb shit, but realistically I will just fall asleep reading. The 25th Hour by David Benioff – HIGHLY recommended to booky-book readers of all flavoUrs.
Found a funny;
british person: eat it
me: [tears in my eyes] it’s 5:30 in the morning
british person: [puts knife to my throat] eat the fuckin beans
Better than mashed peas.
British “food” is generally awful, but mashed peas are special even by those standards.
I can’t imagine how I would react if I ordered fish and chips and got this:
They even call them “mushy peas” like it’s a good thing. Yuck.
First Documentary on Super Ecran-
Voulant obtenir une promotion, une secretaire ambitieuse fait des heures supplentaires.
Next Up-
Des couples libertins decident de depasser leurs propres limites a trois!
/not gonna lie-I’m tres interesse
Everything seems more erotic in French
Oui oui!
Where????
-D. Trump
Ooh la la!
Color guy on the ESPNU game seems awfully surprised that all the balls are hard hit, considering both teams are using aluminum bats.
Announcers: (talk about UConn’s shortstop losing 20 lbs. so he could play better.
Me: (shoveling Doritos in my gaping maw while cracking open another IPA) Pussy
Doobie Brothers concert was awesome. I think the wife and I were on the lower end of the age range there though. The venue really should have allowed people to be dropped off at the gate, I mean walking 1/2 mile on gravel with a walker or cane was really rough for most of the attendees.
Think how the Doobie Brothers felt.
Jesus, at 70+ they put on one hell of a show, 24 songs with some new material that was really good and bounced around that stage like they were still in their 20’s. Considering how many people at the venue were smoking, they may out live their fans.
[stops singing ‘Listen To The Music’] “SHOW ME YOUR TITS!”
-[several guys take off their wife-beaters]
Hippo, I am in. During the drive I will clean and sober, up until I am no longer driving and the edibles will disappear like gummi bears at a Weight Watchers meeting.
Whoa this doesn’t seem rocking…
https://mobile.twitter.com/NatashaRSarin/status/1535647339544776708?cxt=HHwWiMC43c_H288qAAAA
And everyone laughs at me for not filing in the last 10 years.
They’ll never know and they’ll never care.
Gonna start filing in writing and just filling each form with total gibberish.
After 2 innings, UConn 9-Robber Baron U 4.
I think there have been 4 HRs, but could be 5.
Aluminum bats change the game a tad.
With the wifey being away (Montreal) my plan was to do a bunch of yardwork and then drink half a bottle of scotch. I exceeded my own expectations-the bottle of scotch is 3/4’s empty!
I rarely stay up past 11 on any night but when I do, I watch the French “Super Ecran” channels because they show straight-up porn late at night.
/reminds me of the Saturday “Bleu Nuits” movies I watched as a early teenster
Boy, wait’ll you find out about a little thing called “the internet”
I remember trips to Europe in the 90s where that exact same thing happened. I had to watch for a while to make sure I wasn’t imagining things.
This guy gets it.
Late night Russian porn on Sky TV. And weird Japanese gameshows.
Pornhub is available at all hours
“It is, uh, how you say, ‘le research'”
That was supposed to go below Balls, a phrase which I imagine Balls has himself used while doing ‘le research’ for porn.
Whoa. Even during the day?
Fightin’ Dirt Horatios have jumped all over Stanford’s starter and are up 6-0 with one out in the 2nd.
And I remain terrified.
Checks out.
https://twitter.com/MattBrownEP/status/1535823190047526913
We’re just a proud land grant institution, rather than a private college founded by a robber baron and initially led by his batshit insane widow, who consulted with him and her late son on all important decisions via seance, before she was poisoned while in Hawaii, a murder that has never been solved.
What I’m saying is fuck Leland Stanford and his stupid school.
Proper, well researched hate.
In fairness, the NYTimes just reviewed a book on the subject and I happened to read it last night.
That said, the original Stanfords were fucking whacked. Literally in her case.
As far as the “Sports Underdog” movie genre is concerned, I do like Invictus the best. “Rudy” can suck cocks in a consensual way, in a gas station bathroom, as far as I’m concerned.*
*it’s getting increasingly difficult to insult people and things, btw
It’s not difficult if you don’t give a fuck.
ESPNU just showed an ad for an “antibiotic” shower head that was less-than-subtly marketed to the females-in-search-of-a-sanitary-masturbation-device crowd.
Showerheads lowering the birthrate and directly causing more illegal immigration? Moen and Delta, you should be ashamed.
Tonight, on Tucker Carlson….
should be spelled Moan
Of all the potential #Threepeat teams I’ve seen over the course of my sports watching career, Tampon is the least hate-able.
Thank God Dreamboat/MRSA Dreamboat never done that
Yet
Damn you to hell.
UConn takes an insurmountable 1-0 lead.
What a proud day to be an antibiotic-resistant bacteria/fungal strain.
Just got COVID booster #2 this afternoon. SUCK IT SUB 50 YEAR OLDS.
Also, feel kinda bleh tonight, Better start drinking.
Had my physical Friday afternoon. My doc recommended I wait a bit to get Booster #2 as both Moderna and Pfizer have submitted data for approval of an updated booster that handles the OG (his words, not mine) COVID and also the Omicron variants. Should be available in a few weeks.
I’mma sit this one out until they make one that also addresses the monkey pox scourge.
That…might have been wise. Oh well.
The booster doesn’t take effect unless you say “Boo-urns” 15 times within the first 24 hours.
Just used the beige skin tone on my texting and was asked if I was sure I wanted to do that.
Si, cabrons.
When I was in my 20’s and 30’s I purchased at least 60 ‘graphic’
novelsbooks about philosophers, thinkers, concepts, etc. The idea was that I would pass these on to my kids and they would have access to complex ideas in an accessible form./they’re completely irrelevant now, for them
//wifey suggests that we sell them at a yard sale-I wonder how much we could get for “(Jean) Baudrillard For Beginners”. Maybe fifty cents?
“Ha! These books are mere shadows of their true book forms, I’ll give you nothing for them and you’ll like it!”
-Plato or something
“I’ll buy these books only if I want to, of my own free will, DO NOT TRY TO PREDESTINE me, fool!”
-Kant or something
“50 cents?! I’ll give you thirty. Oh and I slept with your wife!”
-Constanza or something
“Only I would understand them, so give them to me” – Nietzsche or something
Steven Stamkos has had a 14 year NHL career.
He is 32.
He was still legal then!
could probably barely get two fingers up there back then
And he’s won how many cups already?
2 or 3.
SUDDEDN ICE CHANGE is suddenly changed back.
⚡️ ⚡️
/femur drums begin
Bananacakes! Get yer bananacakes here!
SUDDEN CHANGE!!
EVEN SUDDENER REVERSION TO THE MEAN!!!
The Fightin’ Horatios, (Dirt Division), play Stanford at 10:30 in Extra Special Boy Super Regionals of the College World Series. Friend of mine has a kid on the team. Any and all good thought are appreciated, and likely very much needed.
Best of luck Dirt!
el pingamente beisbol is the only thing the Pac-12 is good at. But they’re REALLY good at it.
Yeah, UConn’s had a great season but it probably ends here.
Beach volleyball would like a word.
that’s not a sport that’s just BEING SEXY
Well the Pac 12 absolutely dominates in THAT.
Step 1: Head into kitchen
Step 2: Why am I here?
Step 3: Can’t be for my drink, that’s half full.
Step 4: *Take huge swig of straight vodka*
Step 5: Ah, now I remember!
Step 6: Finish vodka
Step 7: Make new vodka drink.
I’ll be fine.
.
Concur.
#TrustTehProcess
I laugh, yet I relate.
Staying on point with the football theme.
Now I’m watching “Heaven Can Wait.”
Also a very solid movie.
With football!
Tampon Bay is dictating the play.
Presented without comment
No matter what happens tonight, they have my undying gratitude for knocking Vichy Whalers out.
Everything old is new again? The Yanks are murder-killing everyone in their path. I don’t love that (but hey, MUCH better than the Sawx), but the trade-off of Bastard Man Small Bears returning to the sewer? I will take it.
/Fredbird sips from his Budweiser approvingly
Best part was Smoltz praising the Cubs starter for doing so well throwing a fastball in the low 90’s, but “really moving it around”, literally as he was throwing the pitch that Stanton hit out at 120 mph, followed by 4 more HRs.
it’s almost like Smoltzy is too stupid to live. But exactly smart enough to work for Fox.
Where was Smoltz on Jan. 6, anyway?
Probably playing golf. But their with tRuE paTRiOts in spirit imogodbless
Just finished The 25th Hour, Mas excelente.
Questionable at the moment. Once a base of operations is selected I can get a better picture on the chances of participation
Update. Still questionable, but trending in the right direction.
Fuck, I’m going to have to make an effort here, aren’t I?
I’ll let you know what train I’m on and you could meet me at New Haven
Baltimore eh? Could go on the The Wire walking tour; I heard if someone in your party gets shot along they way they give you a 10% discount.
Ask for the Ray Lewis Special, but, I recommend against wearing a white suit while touring.
https://collegefootballnews.com/2022/06/NC-State-Wolfpack-preview-2022-season-prediction-breakdown-key-games-players
/Hippo’s pill bottle flies open
The Athletic has us in pre-season Top 10. Terrifying. Better make this season count, because 2023 looks like a real shitshow. Thin roster with no quartered back = 3-9 at best.
The transfer portal makes future projections useless. Half of every team will turn over every year.
If this trip happens, I demand a Boots on the Ground post.
“It was crowded so I stayed in my room and watched TV. The End.”
-Hippo, King
The Pentagon
Arlington Va
6/11/22
Oh shit! Black Sunday is on Amazon. A Robert Evans production baby! John Frankenheimer directed, music by John Williams and written by Thomas Harris.
The last part I did not know.
Haven’t seen this movie since the 70’s.
That’s the terrorist(s) at the Superbowl one, right?
It is. They just had a long distance shot of the Coliseum and the Rams were playing the 49ers. Bruce Dern is playing a lunatic – a stretch I know – and he’s the pilot of the Goodyear blimp. They just showed it landing in Carson.
Holy shit! Joe Robbie makes a cameo and the Orange Bowl looks like a dump.
This is fantastic.
Chuck Knoll and Don Shula, Rocky Bleier and Terry Bradshaw. This movie has everything.
Of fucking course it’s the Steelers and Cowboys in the Owl.
Pat Summerall and Tom Brookshire with the call.
Oh fuck, Pete Rozell.
Bradshaw to Stallworth and it’s a touchdown Pittsburgh!
Dallas back to punt… And it’s blocked!
That’s a safety for the Steelers!
9-0 Pittsburgh!
Staubach back to pass and it’s a touchdown to Patrick Howard!
Since this is 1970’s Dallas he no doubt pushed off.
9-7 Pittsburgh!
Upon review he absolutely pushed off. Learned it from Drew Pearson.
Bruce Dern and his girl are just flat out killing motherfuckers while outfitting the blimp.
Staubach back to pass… intercepted!
Immediately followed by a pass from Bradshaw to Swann touchdown Steelers!
Staubach back to pass.. intercepted again! There’s the Dallas that I know.
Bruce Dern had the worlds least dependable Bic lighter at the worst time.
If you have Amazon prime you need to watch that movie. It’s the shit even if they don’t tell the final score.
Two big thumbs up!
That is slander, Sir
(except he almost certainly did)
I accept both answers.
Air Bud?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_lsV1D9kG8&t=145s
Beavis flashback!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwLCG3sZwEA
Yeah horsies! #TeamMomo
#TeamAlpo
ciiiiiiiircle of life!
*checks flights*
Nope. I’ll have to postpone my viewing of a Hippo in the wild to a later date.
Also, to answer question #5: Yes. It’s weird to have the ashes in the first place.
Would have been weird if the cat was there from the taxidermist.
HEATHEN
Eh, I’ve been called worse.
oh fuck yes, I have an ex-wife and three daughters. Not sure there is any insult I haven’t been given.
I have my cat’s ashes by the TV. It’s appropriate that he’s staying right where he would, silently judging me and planning my demise if/when I was tardy for foodage.
Also for being partially responsible for the two additional, smaller, much louder two-leggers in the house, who appeared out of nowhere all of sudden and just kept getting bigger and louder.
What is going on.
I thought I was weird for having a cat plate next to my TV. You guys have taken things to a different level.
I never know, man.
yeah, I don’t understand the working of my brain any MOAR than y’all does
The alpha of the 3-pack we adopted 15 years ago (Reeves Hamilton D**es) liked to sit atop the entertainment center. Neither his blood brother (JT) nor his foster brother (Kruger) was allowed to sit there – EVAR. He would chase a fucker down.
He had a heart attack watching NFL with me one late Sunday afternoon. His ashes went to his spot above the teevee box, too.
Funny thing was, despite being the alpha, he weirdly HATED going outside. He would sit under the patio table on back porch once in awhile, but that was it.
We also sang this song for him (but with “Typical Reeves, Typical Reeves” subbed in):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9YjzGbrNAs
I have three cats, a dog, and my son’s ashes by the tv. When we are both gone too, my nephew will rent a boat and dump all of us together in the Pacific.
That’s the way to go. I’m going to bury my dog in his favourite spot in the back yard. It’ll take a lot of whisky to get it dug but I’ll know he’s where he would want to be.
If you use a shovel it’ll go a lot faster than using whisky.
I am having a celebratory cherry lime cider, as the wife is now home. She’s doing well. I have tomato-basil bagels. All is good.
That’s Rocking!
oh indeed. Such a delightfully fancy bagel and cider combo, as well. TOTES JELLY