New Places – Monday Open Thread

Yesterday was Juneteenth, the anniversary of Union Army General Gordon Granger going to Galveston, Texas in 1865 to announce that all slaves were free. The Emancipation Proclamation was in 1863, and the Civil War had ended two months before Gen. Granger’s announcement. Since Texas don’t care, official action was required. Juneteenth is commemorated today, after it was inducted last year in the list of U.S. holidays. Now there are two federal days commemorating civil rights

Via frinkiac.com

This link is to the message, from the President of Howard University last year, when Juneteenth was converted into a federal holiday. Its a sobering read, and ends this way:

Let us use this time off to pause to celebrate our successes while also refocusing on our continued service so that we may realize greater justice and equality for those individuals who have yet to receive it and are most in need of it.

 

NFL NEWS

The NFL Community Commemorates Juneteenth Holiday”, and exhorts folks to celebrate it as an American holiday—instead of an African American holiday. I endorse the sentiment, although Al Davis’s ghost just sued the NFL for appropriating his explanation for hiring Art Shell as head coach. The brief video on the landing page is great. It had zero “required reading” feel and featured Michael Thomas. For Saints fans and FF enthusiasts: that’s Bengals safety Michael Thomas.

Let’s take a look at the league calendar for the upcoming weeks:

Actual calendar here. The Hall of Fame game, Jax vs. Raiders, is on August 4.

LOVE FOR SUMMER

For me, the most undervalued part of summer is: what a dynamite time to get work done. School’s out, so there is significantly less traffic. Higher ups go on vacation, which is ripe for ingratiating with underlings and interns to extract otherwise unavailable info. Lunches get longer, hangouts earlier, everyone seems to operate in a more relaxed mode. Try getting an A/C technician now, if you don’t believe me. It’s an environment with less phone calls and interruptions, which is wonderful for anyone who has zero multitasking abilities and needs some goddamn concentration.

On the other hand, 2022 is a World Cup year. What the hell is this emptiness during prime England-bashing season! I knew it was coming, sure. Greed and bodies being 60% water compelled moving the Qatar World Cup to late November. Still, this productivity foisted by circumstance has been most distressing. The phantom yearning to fact-check a zinger on Croatia’s goalie or mine Wiki P for colonialist invective is real.

Sensible folks—i.e., nobody who clicks here, thank Gawd!—would point to the delights of delayed gratification and a peculiar calendar kink for this Fall World Cup. European leagues have a sizeable chunk of the world’s most talented players. Those leagues start in August and will pause in November for the World Cup. This could mean that top talent would be less tired for this World Cup rather than if they were to play in the summer, right after finishing their leagues.

For me, ultimately, it’s about the math–and it doesn’t add up. It seems physically impossible, for me, to cram the usual amount of NFL and World Cup work truancy in a month. Though gotta confess: I’m looking forward to stretch the limits of my own sloth.

 

FÚTBOL NEWS

* “More than half of all players” involved in the Euro and African Cup of Nations finals were subjected to online racist abuse, according to a FIFA study. The study used AI that went over 400,000 Twitter and Instagram posts “from the end of the semi-finals until 3 days after each final”.  Lowlights:

  • “Abuse on Twitter is constant across the period”

 

  • “75% of Instagram comments and abuse included emojis” 🙄

 

  • “Homophobic slurs most common form of detected abuse, with racism second”

 

  • Finally, a bone for xenophobes: “Majority of abusers come from the players’ home nation”

* Paris Saint-Gérmain, the Shempiens’ Bengals, will fire manager Mauricio Pocchettino. Zinedine Zidane is getting buzz for the head coach gig, although Zissou is a respectable professional and PSG’s brass seems awfully Dan Snyder-ish. Pocchettino’s predecessors are Unai Emery and Thomas Tuchel, both of whom went on to greener pitches. Poch will too, I’m sure.

 

* France’s Antoine Griezmann might be on the oOts for Les Bleus. Manager Didier Deschamps is talking up Leipzig’s Christopher Nkunku as a replacement, who can play forward or offensive midfielder.  Griezmann scored only 3 goals with Atlético Madrid last season, and netted zero, for club or country, since last January.

 

* Calcio legend Gianluigi Buffon is piling on the state of the game in Italia. Talking aboOt Juventus wanting to sign former PSG teammate Ángel DiMaría, Gigi commented on the general state of Serie A. The post in espen deportes, so allow me to interpret:

DiMaría in the Italian league would be like Maradona. I have to explain? [“why the incredulous look” lip pursing] Serie A is impoverished at a technical level and Ángel has quality to spare. [“Truth bomb” hand gesture]

 […]

 DiMaría is 34 already? I have 44 and am still playing, age doesn’t matter. [Winces, shifts in seat, grunts] The motivation, the passion that you put in the work, your determination are much more important.

It’s true! Buffon is still playing, in Serie B with Parma, and is signed through 2024. Parma is the team where Gigi started his career at 13, and the homecoming is a notable fútbol pre-retirement move. Aging stars have also opted for the China or Middle East cash-grab, or the MLS tax haven / self-sabotage.

Personally, Gianluigi Buffon is the main reason I don’t hate hate Italy as a fútbol nation. Italy won the World Cup in 2006 after The Unnameable goaded Zidane into a red card

La Azzurra returned home that summer to bask in its crapulence, but a week later the Old Lady got stripped of two Scudetti and relegated to Serie B for booking favorable refs for their games.  Most stars left Juve—not Buffon, who was 28 at the time. Juve got promoted back into Serie A in 2007. A real mensch, El Gigi.

 

SPROTS TONITE

All times Central. As always, slur free.

 

GRANDES LIGAS

Bof. Everyone plays tonight.

Ositos (Kilian) @ Piratas (Brubaker) – 6:05

Tigres (Faedo) @ Medias Rojas (Winckowski) – 6:10

Y*nk*s (Cole) @ Mantas (McClanahan) – 6:10

Gigantes (Webb) @ Bravos (Fried) – 6:20

Cardenales (Mikolas) @ Cerveceros (Burnes) – 7:10

Azulejos (Berríos) @ Medias Blancas (Lynn) – 7:10

Reales (Bubic) @ Angelinos (Syndergaard) – 8:38 exactly

Serpientes (Davies) @ Padres (Darvish) – 8:40

 

STANLEY CUP FINALS

Colorado (2-0) @ Tampa Bay – 7:00

 

TOP FLIGHT FÚTBOL

Argentina

Independiente hosts Estudiantes La Plata – 7:30

Newell’s Old Boys hosts Argentinos Juniors – 7:30 PM

Brasil Serie A

São Paulo hosts Palmeiras – 6:00

Shoutout to ã, new leader atop Symbols. For being divisive, ¶ remains in Special Characters exile.

FINALLY,

I rented a new Apt. and I’m moving soon. The kitchen is so big it can fit my mother and another guest giving me instructions. It’s great! In the hopes that I can pass this off as continuing education credits (if needed), let me offer my house-hunting experience.

Looking for a new place, first identify the dealbreakers. Mine were:

  1. No home improvement. I do OK with a drill or a paintbrush, if required. I wanted NOTHING required.

1A.   Pets allowed. Tell me this is NAWT an adorable stepdog.

She does not eat adobo; that was included for scale.

Rental agents are often uppity, dismissive, and may require income info. before they tell you where the freakin’ place is located. So, to force a response as to whether they allow pets, I sent that pic to the renters, and have them forsake, in writing, this wuvable widdle beatch.

Yeah, corny shit gets responses. I’ll take being labeled as a lame-o rather than a psycho IRL every time, thank you very much.

When visiting, I flushed the toilets: tried out the light switches: if it came with WiFi, went with my laptop: “Will this be painted? I… See”: turned on the A/Cs: and, audibly tsk-tsk-ed at signs of water leakage. Hey, if Imma rent a more expensive place, it better be bettah.

One place had an electric plant across the street. Pro: when there are power outages, that house is one of the first to get service back. BIG PRO.

Con #1: At all times in and around the house, there was a constant “Nnnnnnn” hum.

Con #2:

but if you like dank... forget about it.

I saw a killer place leased by a real estate outfit that had strong gentrifyin’ vibes. I wanted to check their bona fides. However, their webpage had a video in which one of the tenants said “I wanted to get on the ground floor of this development”—which is the scam part, said aloud. That due diligence ended there.

The place I picked was recently painted and has brand new appliances: fridge, washer, and dryer. It’s in a condominium. Back in May, I never would’ve considered moving into a condo. My feeling was: there are neighbors in every direction. Privacy suffers, I felt. Then again, with a washer and dryer inside the Apt., I wouldn’t have to go to a laundromat–where underwear is in full view. And the building has been very quiet the four days I’ve gone there.

tl;dr No good comes out of prejudice. It’s ignorance.

Banner via univision who is grateful that the message gets out, permish notwithstanding 🤞🏻

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Don T
Poor choices, mixed results. ¡Viva Puerto Rico Libre! Titans4Eva
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rockingdog

Found a funny;

Love the deli paper on the doctor’s table. Mmm I’m a sick little sandwich

ballsofsteelandfury

– Maestro

Gumbygirl

That little dog looks like one of those battery-powered ones that Bark! Bark! Bark! and then flip.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Were the Dixie Chicks the first victim of modern cancel culture?

Dunstan

Shhhh… it doesn’t count when conservatives do it.

TheRevanchist

I think Jesus may have them beat.

Dunstan

Hey, an actual decent fight in an NHL game!

Brocky

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Brocky

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Based on her “let’s do absolutely nothing about a maniac waving a gun around” attitude, I’d like to nominate Claire McCaskill to be the next chief of the Uvalde Police Department.

https://mobile.twitter.com/clairecmc/status/1538937389560872960

Dunstan

“What’s her policy on chalk on sidewalks?” — Susan Collins

Redshirt

I see Tampa Bay has realized that its not Golf Score Rules and the lowest score does not win.

scotchnaut

“Here’s a thought-maybe we could blow out those Colorado bastards after they blew us out! Hmmm… think about it.”

-Tampa Bay’s coach

scotchnaut

If I played in the NHL, I think my Faceoff Percentage would be around 100, because I’ve watched that movie a bunch of times.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m cashed. Night, all. See some of you in Baltimore in a few weeks.

SonOfSpam

Angels are playing the Royals, who are starting Kris Bubic.

His last name can be pronounced BOO BITCH or BOOB ITCH and either way is fine.

Gumbygirl

It doesn’t rhyme with pubic? My bad!

TheRevanchist

Rubic’s cube, pubic’s lube

WCS

comment image

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CaC0_qOrL40

Earlier tonight during Dirt Stillers-Dirt Mini Ditkas

Gumbygirl

Did a patriot pull out his hunting AR-15?

Fronkenshteen

Don T Open Thread content is the best content. Like a line of great coke for your read hole.

SonOfSpam

Yankmes have a no-hitter thru 7, but Gerrit has already thrown 103 pitches. Does he keep it goin?

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s fucking embarrassing and an indictment of today’s game that you even have to ask this question.

SonOfSpam

Welp, moot because base hit.

ballsofsteelandfury

Bummer!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS GUY GERRIT I CALL HIM ME AT A JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL DANCE BECAUSE HIS NIGHT WAS SPOILED AFTER SOMEONE ELSE GOT TO FIRST BASE.

ballsofsteelandfury

And by the question, I mean “Will they keep him in?”

scotchnaut

The Tampons of Bay have pulled ahead!

Redshirt

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.si.com/nfl/bengals/.amp/news/graphic-designer-posts-four-potential-bengals-uniform-combinations-for-2022

1. Yes.
2. Too much like a college uniform.
3. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
4. Should’ve gone back to these instead of just simple stripes.

herodotus450

Juneteenth is a shocking, but welcome, attack on America’s youth: a federal holiday that falls outside the traditional school year so those puke-faces don’t get to utilize it.

WCS

“Why do Liberals hate the children of America but not putting a new Federal Holiday during the school year?”

–OAN with Juneteenth in the summer

“Why do Liberals want to appease the radical, so-called ‘Woke Mob’ by making another Federal Holiday to starve our youth of an education?”

— OAN with Juneteenth in the winter

Redshirt

Redshirt’s Brain: “Don’t say it. Don’t say it.”
Redshirt: “Well it’s a Black Holiday so of course it falls outside the school year.”
Redshirt’s Brain:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8xiWw5dwngc

WCS

https://www.cnn.com/2022/06/20/politics/texas-gop-convention-resolution/index.html

For being a state that prides itself on being TUFF AND MANLY, they sure do get whiny about a lot of things.

King Hippo

That fookin’ State (like most of the Deep South) is the living embodiment of the “It’s not FAIR!” gif

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Texas seceding from the Union would be interesting because all their incoming feed shipments would get canceled. For two weeks they’d eat nothing but steak and after that they would starve.

WCS

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King Hippo

bUtt fReeDuM!!!!11111

WCS

There’s no butt stuff allowed in Texas.

King Hippo

The local steer population would moo in disagreement

scotchnaut

“But then all the rootin’ tootin’ shootin’ would start! That’s when it gets interesting!”

-All the Texans

SonOfSpam

:Long as they put a wall around it.

(Mexico will pay for it, natch)

Redshirt

Okay, in hindsight maybe all the sane Republicans leaving the party was a bad idea.

King Hippo

Shempiens’ Bengals

A true poet of our imaginary times. Viva el DonT!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I say MOAR analytics of racism in sports/Twitter and LESS Roger Goodell.

Now what were we talking about?

ballsofsteelandfury

Buffon is a fucking legend.

And that dog is tiny.

litre_cola

I want to drink with him and Pirlo.

Brocky

As the closest thing to shih tzu expert you can find, I can agree that is a tiny dog.

Mine is about 15 pounds, my grandparents had a chunky boy that weighed 27, my other grandparents had a runt that was 11 pounds.

That little thing there looks tiny