Hi there!
It’s your resident Friday afternoon bartender checking in on a Wednesday. How are we all doing? Good? Excellent. I’m fresh off of a week in Maine, and while it was fun, it was too short and I’m ready for another break already. Being away and out and about felt normal, which was nice. We’ve been very conservative with activities to limit covid exposure because Sharkette was too young to be vaccinated so Mrs. Sharkbait and I were itching to go somewhere again. Luckily for us, Sharkette’s first shot was about a week before we left so she was somewhat protected by the time we left. It also helped that 99% of all activities we did (and all of the dining) was outside and/or open air. Now that I’ve got that first trip done, I’m already doing preliminary research on what trip is next. I’m thinking if it ends up being the fall or winter, someplace warm is required. You can never go wrong visiting a beach after all.
NFL News:
/deletes cricket chirping gif
The Pauls have traded Baker Mayfield to the Panthers for a draft pick
A new QB in Carolina: The #Panthers are acquiring former No. 1 overall pick Baker Mayfield from the #Browns for a 2024 conditional 5th-round draft pick, sources tell me and @TomPelissero. Deal is pending a physical. All parties split the financials to make it happen. pic.twitter.com/xuTLqosmZm
— Ian Rapoport (@RapSheet) July 6, 2022
Wait. Don’t the Panthers Have Sam Darnold?
The cherry on top? The Browns are in Carolina week 1.
NHL News:
Slightly more interesting than the NFL. The draft starts tomorrow night in Montreal, which is where it was supposed to be two years ago, in the before times. You hear that weird sound? That sound is all the Russian players falling off individual team’s draft boards because of fuckery going on inside Russia. Philadelphia’s top goaltending prospect was forcibly detained and sent to a navy base north of the arctic circle for training. Surely this has nothing to do with the fact he signed an NHL contract after he just backstopped his team (CSKA Moscow aka The Red Army) to the KHL’s equivalent to the Stanley Cup. Doesn’t smell like retaliation at all. No sir.
Sports on tonight:
Not much. All the good stuff is happening earlier: Wimbledon, Women’s Euro footy and the Tour de France. So we’re left with Baseball:
| Teams | Time (ET) | Channel |
| St. Louis at Atlanta | 7:00pm | ESPN Bally Sports |
| Texas at Baltimore | 7:05pm | MASN/2 Bally Sports |
| NY Yankees at Pittsburgh | 7:05pm | YES ATTSN-PIT |
| Washington at Philadelphia | 7:05pm | MASN/2 NBCS-PHI |
| Tampa Bay at Boston | 7:10pm | Bally Sports NESN |
| Kansas City at Houston | 8:10pm | Bally Sports ATTSN-SW |
| San Francisco at Arizona | 9:40pm | MLBN NBCS-BAY Bally Sports |
| Colorado at LA Dodgers | 10:10pm | MLBN ATTSN-RM Sportsnet |
Happy commenting!
(Banner image found here)
Also psyched for this Giants vs Padres series starting tomorrow. ⚾️
Should be rocking!
Me too! We beat those lousy D-Backs tonight. Should be good to see more wins this weekend.
Found a funny;
Just passed a farm with a big “no vaccines we trust god sign” next to the sign advertising that they were selling seedless watermelons
Hey “brick” I like cameras but slow in touch. Would love to pick your brain I will try to leave some bits intact.
If you’re asking me about cameras, sure, love to help.
I assumed he was asking about cameras and phrenology
Funny. I thought he was asking about making sick fetish porn.
Why how observant of you, fish and anus’s for everyone
Wow, so cool of you. “Yeah right” says he can reach out to you on a back (whatever the hell that is) channel and kick you my email. Look forward to talking with you, thanks for considering doing this.
Still fireworks going off around here…
‘Merica!
Got to love summer in Southern California, where you still have to bring a jacket or sweater with you because businesses insist on cranking the air conditioning to arctic levels.
I avoid that issue by never leaving the house.
Wife and I had a verbal exchange this evening. I’m not getting into the details aside from this hashtag that I’m sharing with you.
/#Pyrrhicvictory
It is understandable that she didn’t want to put the sparkler in the pooper, but sometimes you need that extra spark in your love life.
THIS SHARKBAIT I CALL HIM ZYMM BECAUSE HE BRAGS ABOUT GOING TO STRANGE EXOTIC PLACES
Zymm has me beat in that department for sure.
And if nawt, do you really want to anger her?
Thank Bleergh I found a feed for Sudamericano Liberty Cup in Spanish. The English guy yesterday was forrific.
Rich people of Buenos Aires rejoice! River Plate gol! Emphasized correctly by the announcer.
They got VARd. Boca fans and River fans can be together in burning that place to the ground.
THIS GUY ELON MUSK I CALL HIM MARCUS GILCHRIST IN 2015 BECAUSE HE IS LOOKING TO OUTSHINE ANTONIO CROMARTIE.
https://techcrunch.com/2022/07/06/things-get-messy-for-elon-musk-with-report-about-new-twins-he-shares-with-neuralink-exec/
This might be a poor take but I feel that billionaires should always
‘hump the help’. It’s the only way that the latter can get ahead.
“Geez that’s a lot of kids” — Steve Garvey
“I figured that Garvey was a great date because he always stuck to first base!”
-Several women, rubbing their extended bellies
Not gonna lie, I love that the top comment on that post is a grammar nit.
https://twitter.com/JCOviedo6/status/1544849170409873409?t=SLLIW_q9DKHpjKgANgbGeA&s=19
Good News: God has realized His error and has begun the arduous process of wiping Ohio off the face of the Earth.
What we know about the tornado touchdown in Goshen Township (msn.com)
I guess He’s lining up an asteroid to take out Texas next.
I made a salted caramel apple crisp cake today. Have been picking at it since I took it out of the oven. Then made Birria tacos for dinner. Why yes I am enjoying my leave from work.
Sam Darnold is telling himself this is just the part of the tv show where he needs to hit rock bottom so he can work his way back to the top….but this is a “special” episode, not a very special episode.
He’ll manage, so long as nobody tells him Batman isn’t real.
“Ha ha, of course Batman isn’t real, everybody knows that.” – Eli Manning, surreptitiously crossing out the addressee of an envelope and changing it to read “Bruce Wayne”
I really hope Olivia sets Eli and Sam up on a play date sometime.
Yeah, after what happened with Daniel Jones that seems rather unlikely.
(still was one of my favorite things to write, ever)
https://doorfliesopen.com/2019/05/24/request-line-elis-slumber-party-mixtape-volume-2-d-a-r-e-to-just-say-no/
Eli’s New Special Friend!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2A0aiUwWfA&ab_channel=philscreen
“Abyssinia, Sam” – Carolina Panthers Offseason Finale
CHRIST A’MIGHTY. I spent 20 minutes spraying/knocking down wasp/hornet nests under my deck. Panic stations at 11, and the hellscape nightmares are still to come.
Not allergic, I am just absolutely goddamned terrified
Those god dam hornets and their tennis sweaters
One night I bought some of that foaming stuff and sprayed a nest by my garage. It was *terrifying* how quickly they started to emerge before the foam set in. It was like they were sitting their waiting for me to spray it.
Would somebody please think of the figs!
Murder hornets. Scary as fuck. I think you need 4th pill!
How could I not follow your advice? My pill bottle says you are its favourite now.
Jack Sock and Coco Gauff lost in the Wimbledon mixed doubles today. Which is not a surprise, because you don’t expect to see a Jack Sock with a female partner
Banner, Part Deux?
I’m really flogging the Jack Sock jokes.
MOAR Shield scheduling hijinks! Black Panthers get the Yinzers on 18 Dec, in what will likely be (assuming Baker isn’t ded yet) A Battle of Two Uncle Jacks.
I love me a good jackoff.
That’s jagoff in Yinz!
Speaking of Ice Football, Russia ‘s Kiril Kaprizov has been told to get the fuck out of dodge in Russia as the Rooskies are now claiming he’s a wanted fugitive for draft dodging.
Attacking Russian athletes is a tad unusual for Putin’s playbook; especially one that will likely succeed Ovie as the next Russian hockey God
I wonder if Putin is now so far up his own asshole that he can’t see how things like that will backfire? Rooskies love their ICE FITBAW even MOAR than authoritarian governance.
Not quite as much as vodka, though.
“I’ll stab you with a goddamn shiv made of whalebone for not including me on your non-existent list! Uh, what did you say?”
-A Mail Order Siberian Bride, sharpening her ‘knife’
Nadal’s opponent this morning had a skinny blonde girlfriend in the crowd and I was so confident that she was a Russian sexbot, like Coach McVay’s squeeze. I was wrong, though – she was American.