Request Line: Self-Harm

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

The recording studio at KDFO looks much as we’d remember it from the before-time.  There is no evidence of the PRODUCER’s long descent into quarantine madness, or of DJ 3000’s work as a “special master” to separate material from Alex Jones’ phone into classifications of “blatantly illegal” and “merely embarrassing”.  The PRODUCER is seated in front of the soundboard, getting things ready for the show.

DJ 3000: …AND SO THERE ARE SEPARATE FOLDER FOR “REGULAR PORNOGRAPHY” AND “ILLEGAL PORNOGRAPHY” AND “GAY FROG PORNOGRAPHY.”

PRODUCER: I guess the only real question is “which one is using up the most terabytes of space?”

DJ 3000: OH, THE “ILLEGAL PORNOGRAPHY” FOLDER BY FAR.  I THINK MOST OF THE REGULAR STUFF IS IN THERE BY ACCIDENT, TO BE HONEST.

PRODUCER: That’s…disturbing.

DJ 3000: NOT NEARLY AS MUCH AS THE GAY FROG PORNOGRAPHY.  MOST OF IT IS JUST HOMOSEXUAL FRENCH GUYS DOING STUFF, BUT THE STUFF THAT ISN’T…[shudders visibly]

PRODUCER: [checks watch] Anyhow, I hope our guest shows up soon.  He sounded really excited to…

—[door flies open]—

SEAN LEE: Hi guys! I’m so glad…

—[door strikes doorjamb, reflects back and slams into Sean Lee’s forehead]—

SEAN LEE: [reels] Oh, ow, goddamnit.

The PRODUCER and DJ 3000 both cringe in sympathy.

PRODUCER: Oh, man, jeez, are you okay?

SEAN LEE: It’s cool, it’s cool, I’m fine.

SEAN LEE rubs his forehead while blinking, then shakes his head and resumes entering the room.  Both DJ 3000 and the PRODUCER notice that his left arm is hanging limply at his side.

DJ 3000: HEY MAN WHAT’S GOING ON WITH YOUR ARM THERE?

SEAN LEE: [grimaces as he attempts to lift it] Oh, don’t worry about it, I just dislocated it when I was closing the car door.

PRODUCER: Shit, are you sure you should be here right now? Maybe you should get that looked at before…

SEAN LEE: No, no, no.  I’m fine.  Listen, you guys are starting to sound like all those [makes air quote motion] “neurologists” who told me I needed to retire from the NFL.  Meanwhile, every single reputable craniologist in town was telling me that my 1-percenter brainpan can handle more punishment than the average skull.  So who are you gonna listen to? The guys telling you you gotta stop doing something that you’ve been doing your whole life?

DJ 3000: GETTING CONCUSSIONS?

SEAN LEE: You can’t let anything stand in your way when it comes to the stuff that you love. Like if you like cutting yourself, go for it. If you like boarding yourself in your own room for weeks at a time and screaming at anyone who approaches to “GO AWAY”, you go for it. If you can’t stop jerking off to animated videos of happy frogs defecating into each other’s mouths, just get yourself signed on with a quality VPN and get to work.

PRODUCER: I’m a little afraid to ask what you came up with for a topic for today’s edition.

SEAN LEE: I thought today’s subject could be “self-harm”.  We’re looking for songs about doing things that sad little killjoys are going to tell you are self-destructive or dangerous.

DJ 3000: LIKE STAYING UP ALL NIGHT?

SEAN LEE: Sure!

PRODUCER: How about eating disorders?

SEAN LEE: Absolutely.

DJ 3000: PROMISCUOUS BEHAVIOR?

SEAN LEE: Love it.  Let’s get rolling.  Can you guys get us started with a little Nine Inch Nails?

Today’s theme is: Self-Harm.  We’re looking for songs that about activities that are self-destructive – addiction, insomnia, promiscuity, etc..  Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTp3ach35aWAy” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh. The clue for last week’s puzzle song was “8047672M” which is of course the metric equivalent of 500 miles (by The Proclaimers) Have at it! 

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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BeefReeferLives

Can’t you see the damage done
Is all over now
You can’t cry anymore girl
Cause your tears dried up
With the needle and the score yeah

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SADxEMkaxTI

scotchnaut
BeefReeferLives
SonOfSpam

Dammit, good call

BeefReeferLives

It was in the early morning hours
When I fell into a phone call
Believing I had supernatural powers
I slammed into a brick wall

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-AQTtXUxYU

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives

Lonnie swept the playroom
And he swallowed up all he found
It was forty-eight hours til
Lonnie came around

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3HBfcFPTFI

BeefReeferLives

“And then you ask for medication
Who cares for medication
When you’ve worn away the cure”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLy_wiQEw0o

BeefReeferLives
Game Time Decision

Not the worst self harm, but its up there

https://youtu.be/EtNZnhxWLHo

DJ TAJ

Kick Ass Tune

Game Time Decision

None of the videos are showing for me, fuck it, gonna Blair Witch this shit

https://youtu.be/jryzEU7WAlg

BeefReeferLives

Double Shot! (In Kurt’s case, it was 20 gauge)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCqH40q0pIA

King Hippo
Last edited 2 years ago by King Hippo
Horatio Cornblower

I’ll look her up.

scotchnaut
King Hippo

Somebody say “toxic relationships?”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SmxVCM39j4

scotchnaut

I’ll bet he pulled in more than his share of hippie girlies.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbD7lfrsY2s&ab_channel=RHINO

BeefReeferLives

Let’s make it a triple…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiksK7YXkJE

BeefReeferLives

Sometimes I live in the country,
Sometimes I live in town,
Sometimes I have a great notion,
To jump in the river and drown.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7Wx2Ht7tUY

King Hippo

A possible genius in the making?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2WcOdz96ko

scotchnaut

The most best appropriate Double Shot ever? People in Wichita think so.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQvUBf5l7Vw&ab_channel=IggyPopOnVEVO

King Hippo

They used this song…to sell goddamned DISNEY CRUISES

WCS
DJ TAJ

Somebody scream “Get out of my Face and Watch me Die”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EM5DOSC0jUo

King Hippo

There is nothing quite like late night driving to Ministry.

BeefReeferLives

‘Specially if you’re driving a hot rod built by Jesu.

DJ TAJ

Usually wired

DJ TAJ

See now I have to go get some liquor.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCehccEZzX4

DJ TAJ

See if this fits, if not it’s a kick ass jam.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuuObGsB0No

Gumbygirl

I won’t forget to put roses on your grave
https://youtu.be/RS_yyRk_dj8

BeefReeferLives

Double Shot! (of morphine)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCnx2kjk8T4

DJ TAJ

Excellent choice

scotchnaut

Jane’s Addiction talking about a woman by the name of Jane that is in an abusive relationship and has a heroin habit-it’s called Jane Says. Also, Jane.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7Q_8q3XXrQ&ab_channel=UPROXXIndieMixtape

BeefReeferLives

Double Shot!

“I chip away Cause I’m not OK
So I chip away
Poked a hole right into myself
And inside I found someone
Who said I was O.K.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjy3OmD6Vk0

SonOfSpam

SO JAUNTY considering subject matter. JAUNTY I say!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POD9Hq0EqXA&ab_channel=EltonJohn-Topic

King Hippo
SonOfSpam
King Hippo

If I had talent and was better looking, I could be Dave Gahan!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snILjFUkk_A

SonOfSpam

After seeing them live a few years ago, my wife was convinced Dave’s issues are about not coming out.

King Hippo

Songs of Faith and Devotion (remarkably good album) convinced me that he thinks himself Jeebus.

scotchnaut
WCS

May as well make it a double. Yes, yes, PHRASING.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4E9ydw_aDMg

My personal anthem in the Before Time, In the Not-So-Long-Ago before my body revolted against me.

BeefReeferLives
SonOfSpam

That don’t confront me none.

scotchnaut
BeefReeferLives

Semi-quasi-self contained double shot.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0jjeegQdjU

WCS

This is a form of self-harm:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ph3QowmTZ3k

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
Horatio Cornblower
BeefReeferLives
TheRevanchist

https://youtu.be/U8b88US-6ts

Might need a judgement on this, but it seems to qualify?

Horatio Cornblower

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2RmMa6ASu0

Kissing dirt and/or falling down mountains is a really good way to get hurt. This song also fits for…other reasons.

SonOfSpam

How else? Don’t leave us hangin

2Pack
Sharkbait
2Pack
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
King Hippo

I’m gonna try
For the Kingdom if I can
Cause it makes me feel like I’m a man
When I put a spike into my vein

2Pack
2Pack