INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

The recording studio at KDFO looks much as we’d remember it from the before-time.  There is no evidence of the PRODUCER’s long descent into quarantine madness, or of DJ 3000’s work tracking material threats to the FBI via various social networking sites .  The PRODUCER steps into the room, carrying a bucket of ice.

DJ 3000: AH, THANK YOU SO MUCH.  JUST SET IT DOWN IN FRONT OF MY COOLING FAN INTAKE

The PRODUCER explores around the back of DJ 3000, who helpfully lights an LED showing him where to deposit the ice. 

DJ 3000: YOU’RE WELCOME TO CHILL A FEW BEERS IN THERE IF YOU LIKE.

PRODUCER: It’s the bucket the custodian uses for the plunger, so…no thanks.

DJ 3000: EW, DAMNIT, COULDN’T YOU HAVE USED SOMETHING ELSE?

PRODUCER: It’s that or you overheat, buddy.

DJ 3000: AH, SHIT.

PRODUCER: Yeah, I smell it too.

DJ 3000: NO, I MEAN…

— [door flies open] —

J.J. WATT: RISE AND GRIND, PAISANOS!

PRODUCER: [is startled]

DJ 3000: WHEN I SAID I COULD USE A FEW MORE WATTS WHAT I ACTUALLY MEANT WAS…

J.J. WATT: I’M HERE AND I’M READY.  LET’S GET TO WORK, FRIENDS!

PRODUCER: Oh, wow.  We’re really glad your commitment to being punctual, J.J., but you’re ninety minutes early four our time slot. I’ve still got some setting up to do.

J.J. WATT: IF YOU’RE NOT NINETY MINUTES EARLY YOU’RE NINETY MINUTES LATE, COMRADE!

PRODUCER: I mean…

J.J. WATT: BUT DON’T SWEAT IT, DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING I CAN DO AROUND THE OFFICE TO KEEP MYSELF BUSY FOR A BIT?

DJ 3000: YOU COULD BRING SOME MORE ICE TO HELP KEEP MY PROCESSOR FROM OVERHEATING.

J.J. WATT: SAY NO MORE COMPADRE, I’LL GET YOU FIXED RIGHT UP.

J.J. WATT dashes out of the studio.  The PRODUCER quickly gets to work at the sound board, making adjustments to the setup to account for J.J. WATT’s booming voice. J.J. WATT reappears momentarily carrying a large piece of equipment.

PRODUCER: Is that…

J.J. WATT: YEAH THE ICE MACHINE FROM THE BREAK ROOM WAS TOO SMALL SO I BORROWED ONE FROM THE HOTEL NEXT DOOR.

PRODUCER: They just let you take it?

J.J. WATT: I JUST CARRIED IT INTO THE LOBBY AND ASKED REAL LOUD AND THE CLERK SAID GO AHEAD AND TAKE ANYTHING I WANTED AS LONG AS I PROMISED NOT TO HURT ANYBODY.

PRODUCER: All right then.  I guess just drop it next to DJ 3000 and we’ll…

J.J. WATT lumbers over carrying the ice machine and bends over to set it down next to DJ 3000.  As he does, there is the sound of a dozen rubber bands snapping at the same time and he grimaces in pain.

PRODUCER: Oh, crap!  Are you all right?

J.J. WATT: I’M GOOD, I’M GOOD.  I JUST…[stops talking as he starts drawing in huge gulps of breath in between clenched teeth]

DJ 3000: ACOUSTIC ANALYSIS OF THE NOISE YOUR BACK JUST PRODUCED MAKES ME CONCERNED THAT YOU MAY HAVE TORN YOUR ANTERIOR LONGITUDINAL LIGAMENT.

PRODUCER: You should probably lie down.

J.J. WATT: No, no, I…okay, maybe for just a second.

He settles down onto the carpet flat on his back.

J.J. WATT: You know, while I’m down here I might as well do some crunches. I…oh, ow.

He attempts to lift his head from the floor and cannot do so.

PRODUCER: Maybe you should just lie still for a minute or two.

J.J. WATT: I’m not sure I’m capable of that.

PRODUCER: Hey, how about this?  We’ll work together and come up with a topic for Request Line.

J.J. WATT: How about “backs”?

PRODUCER: You mean, like “comebacks”?

J.J. WATT: Sure!  But maybe songs having to do with physical backs works too?

PRODUCER: DJ 3000?

DJ 3000: [performs a quick calculation] NUMERICAL ANALYSIS SUGGESTS USING BOTH WOULD BE IDEAL.

PRODUCER: All right then!  Let’s get to it.

J.J. WATT: Can we get started with a little country?

PRODUCER: You mean like San Marino?

J.J. WATT: No, I mean like…

DJ 3000: DON’T WORRY BIG FELLA, I GOT YOU COVERED.  IN FACT, LET’S MAKE IT A DOUBLE SHOT!

Today’s theme is: Backs.  We’re looking for songs about anything do with backs – comebacks, going backwards, the lower lumbar region, you name it.  Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6oRd0N_4nTh3m_5W” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh. The clue for last week’s puzzle song was “FTpeachesaway” which referred to the song “Fuck the Pain Away” by Peaches.  Now get *back* to work!