LaboUr Day Open Thread

I’m filling in for Don T this evening, who is busy doing…something else, I guess. I didn’t ask. I just assume it has something to do with vengeance against a poorly run power company. Best not to get too involved.

Like most Americans I had Labor Day off, one of many things we can thank unions for. Not that I’m in a union. Can you imagine a union of attorneys? It would be worse than herding cats; it’d be like trying to watch a bunch of soaking wet cats fuck their way out of a very wet paper bag. Just awful people.

Anyway, I spent the day quickly writing a mock draft, having forgotten that it was Monday last night, which was Sunday, because I didn’t have work today, Monday, even though I should have picked up on that last night while watching ‘House of the Dragon’, which airs on Sunday. Got all that? Clearly, neither did I.

In my defense I did spend last night writing angry letters to HBO that someone got Negroes in my fantasy fiction about dragons and magic and magic dragons. And incest. Did I write angry letters complaining that none of the Valyrian characters have violet eyes, as is canon? Nope, I only complained about the Black ones. But don’t call me a racist! I’m just a passionate fan who is very concerned that the TV show about magic incestuous dragons hew to the books on matters of race and skin color, and literally nothing else. Does that sound racist to you? Don’t answer that.

I see I’m at 257 words. What’s on TV tonight?

JV Footy: Clemson v. Ga. Tech, 8:00 pm ESPN. I hope Dabo loses all his good players to SEC schools that pay them more money. Cry about it, Dabo.

MLB: (various times after 7:00 pm EST, various regional channels)
Rangers v. Asterisks, Cleveland Spiders, (if anyone there had any marketing sense AT ALL) v. Royals, Tigers v. Angels, (forcing someone to watch that game would be a war crime), Giants v. Dodgers, (someone will almost certainly commit a war crime in the parking lot after this game).

Sexi Mexi Lesser Footy: Toluca v. Monterrey. (10:00 pm, Fox Deporte). This looks like a women’s game, so you can call it Sexy and still stride into that bar like a true man!

USL Championship Lesser, (and I do mean “lesser”) Footy: Hartford Athletic v. LA Galaxy II, (thanks for the effort, LA marketing team), at 10:30 on ESPN+. Go Athletic!

US Open Tennis: Round of 16. 7:00 pm, ESPN2, various affiliated networks). Serena already lost, so no one cares.

Get to typing folks and remember, while you’ve got work tomorrow you’re also only 72 hours away from the NFL regular season.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I just drove a couple hundred miles back from my in-laws’, and I’m still married. AMA.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What is the air speed of a coconut-laden swallow?

Gumbygirl

I’m so tired. Why am I so tired? I dunno.

geek-funny-funny-picture-animal-6982126.jpeg
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This heat does that.

Doktor Zymm

8:30 pm and dark out, still 88F outside

litre_cola

Its 30 C here (abnormal), goin to vegas at 44. Spicy.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

One of the lawyers here should write a client letter / invoice from Judge Cannon to the Save America PAC and publish it at, I don’t know, who does that sort of stuff? McSweeney’s?

litre_cola

We have no lawyers.

Doktor Zymm

Only Law Cats
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litre_cola

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WCS

We’ll see you in court. Law is not governed by reason.

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SonOfSpam

Tigers v. Angels, (forcing someone to watch that game would be a war crime)

Then call me Louie Zamperini

Giants v. Dodgers, (someone will almost certainly commit a war crime in the parking lot after this game)

“Then call me potato gramma filbert”
-Giants fan after parking lot fight

LemonJello

More annoying commercials: Heisman House or Fansville?

King Hippo

I smell crossover episode!! – Ad wizards

WCS

PRAISE SHANK’LOR

herodotus450

Some batty old hag is trying to make the news by bad mouthing Serena? How about we arrange a show match and the winner gets Ireland you non-rhotic hitler appeaser!
/I’m assuming she’s British for some reason

King Hippo

Sounds like she is making strong “uppity” inferences

Doktor Zymm

I’m gonna go with continued ignorance of whoever it is that’s saying that, although I would be interested to see what Serena would do if she was appointed owner of Ireland

herodotus450

Ok winner gets New Zealand instead.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It breaks my heart that tWBS was outlived by not one but *two* Australian Nazis.

ballsofsteelandfury

And probably banged both.

litre_cola

If he banged Margie we would know

WCS

Court, Greene, both…?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

HORATIO: Serena already lost, so no one cares.

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: That’s not true, a lot of people still want to see if Nadal can add to his collection of Grand…

NADAL: [loses to a guy named Frances]

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: Oh. Well then. 

WCS

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King Hippo

insurmountable lead

WCS

The ACC: Offense Optional

King Hippo

No American should be allowed to criticize the excitement level of Lesser Footy for the rest of the week.

WCS

/tWBS stops talking to Angelic Chili’s Hostess

//Hippo’s pill bottle vanishes for five days

King Hippo

really, tWBS. 5 MINUTES will teach teh lesson just fine

WCS

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King Hippo

Is that sack just now what the kids mean by an “Eiffel Tower?”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Back in my day we used to call that a Devil’s…uh…Tower. Devil’s Tower.” – Blackout Brett Kavanaugh

King Hippo

GT is pretty much the ACC’s Vanderbilt. Like the ACC would be the SEC’s Vanderbilt, except they already have one of their own.

LemonJello

Somebody let Clemson know that the game has started?

King Hippo

I mean, I kinda would prefer y’all to not

LemonJello

Oh, I won’t. Dabo shitting the bed this early in the season would be spectacular.

scotchnaut

I’ve not bathed or shaved or showered since last Tuesday-time to right a wrong. Wifey is hyped about no longer sleeping next to “El Stinko”. She doesn’t have a way with words.

King Hippo

I mean…Pigpen was RITE THERE, Mrs. Scotch!

/take another opiate, it will help

WCS

I see you spent your holiday weekend hunting.

King Hippo

So…the Non-Gendered Cowpersons have a 40-year old manthem on the practice squad?

King Hippo

Jason Peters, left tackle per the little news ticker?

King Hippo

So, that weird Dr. Pepper mom and dad are double-teaming a local athlete with their son out of the house?

LemonJello

Seems about right.

WCS

TURNOVERS!

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blaxabbath

That’s some good Dabo hate.

King Hippo

If there was anywhere Israelis would have expected to be safe and well-looked after, it was Germany.

WCS

Even The Onion thought that was weird.

scotchnaut

Turnips were doubly confused. Not sure we should interview other root veggies.

blaxabbath

That’ll happen.

WCS

Not optimal, Jackets.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[Looks at his report card nervously] – Eli Manning

King Hippo

Lookit Georgia Tech, standing on their hind legs like a bunch of little Rory Calhouns!

King Hippo

Good news! I pulled up my DVR and new Archer episodes were waiting.

Bad news! At least the firest episode…was very not good.

ballsofsteelandfury

Doesn’t the fact that the black characters have white hair make up for the…. things you brought up?

King Hippo

well how cum its not racist when THEY say it in theyre rap music, huh??

Doktor Zymm

So they are not only black, but also old?

ballsofsteelandfury

In the last episode, there was a young guy challenging the old guy. They both had white hair. In the episode before that, a little black girl of supposedly 12 had white hair.

It’s apparently their thing…

yeah right

In my opinion that episode kicked massive ass. Best one so far.

yeah right

Also the daughter, Reanarra? Is a broody little shit who could stand an additional acting class or two.

yeah right

Touche.