Your “I Have Questions” Sunday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

Let’s ask some more, shall we? (see what I did there?)

To The Games!

Giants/Titans:

Will the surprise cutting/setting adrift of linebacker Blake “Tackling Machine” Martinez come back and bite the Giants in the butt in Week One? Oh my, yes. Did you know that the Titans have not won less than nine games since 2015? That’s some wonderful consistency that fans of certain other teams might be jealous of. Will the piecemeal Giants o-line be able to hold up against the Titans front? Will Danny Dimes get to 10 sacks or 10 turnovers first?

Packers/Vikes:

When will Cousins-who finishes every year as a top 12 qb-ever get the credit he deserves? And why is everyone over the moon about Justin Jefferson and yet down on Cousins? There’s a wild disconnect there. How long will it take for Qaron to cuss out one of the wr’s? What is the Jones/Dillon split going to look like? Fantasy owners must know! Is Allen Lazard really going to lead this team in receiving?

Chiefs/Cards:

They’re saying all the right things but are the Chiefs really that happy with CEH? I myself think that Andy prefers his rb’s to be a bit more dynamic than what has been shown so far. So that gives rise to, “Is Pacheco yet another preseason wunderkind or the real deal? I think if there’s any meat on the bone that Pacheco will be eased in and the Chiefs will have a timeshare on their hands. Did Murray do his homework this week? If so, is there a gold star on the paperwork and is it being displayed proudly on the fridge?

Go do your thing.

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Redshirt

Update: I still hate football but not as much as my family. (Was called away from game with 3:00 in OT for trivial shit.)

Doktor Zymm

Could they have purposely pulled you away for your cardiac health?

Redshirt

It doesn’t count if they pull me from one cardiac event to another.

Doktor Zymm

I hope this game so far is indicative of the amount of disappointment and ineffectiveness Rodgers will experience all season

ArmedandHammered

No one can be inoculated against disappointment.

blaxabbath

Steve Keim must have been out drunk driving when Roster Building 101 covered the legal forward pass.

Doktor Zymm

Oooh, that sounds nice and refreshing, have fun!

litre_cola

Dont forget the cement boots!

Brocky

A bears win was an unexpected surprise.

And yes, Mr. Bigglesworth was by my side

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WCS

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ArmedandHammered

You really should not leave him in the wash so long.

blaxabbath

12 straight completions for Mahomes.

I’m sure Steve Keim is on the horn looking for another running back.

Sharkbait

Just had to jump through 18 different hoops to get streams of the giants to people. Its fucking 2022. Why out of market games are restricted to Directv is insanity

ArmedandHammered

Watching Redzone on Fubo, they have done a great job today.

litre_cola

Yet damn fubo up here doesn’t have the rights so I have to have both Fubo and Dazn which I 100 percent admit is a 1st world problem but it is fucking annoying as they both have jacked their prices.

ArmedandHammered

Would a VPN work? To change your area?

litre_cola

No because they know where your login address is from. So my login is up here and then it turns and offers you the version that travels with you which of course is more expensive.

ArmedandHammered

Ah.

Doktor Zymm

I do miss Redzone, but considering I’m only paying $29.99 for the entire season right now it’s not worth it to add it

Col. Duke LaCross

There’s a fairly reliable “stream” that flows “east” and it’s favorite moon is “.io”.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Aw, Duke, you don’t have to be coy here! v2.sportsurge.net is where I go for baseball, not sure if it’s solid for football or not.

JimU

Thankfully, this will be the last year of Sunday Ticket on DirecTV. It will probably go to Apple or Amazon next year.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I hope Davante got fucking paid for that taco bell ad. Because he is going to need to buy a bunch of new toilets.

Gatoraids

Both have made award winning runs

Doktor Zymm

Andy Reid reportedly trying to lure Ham and Mostert to the Chiefs and keeping an eye out for a player named Rye

Gatoraids

Also reaching out to OJ Mayo to convert to football

litre_cola

Fucking Tony Romo already annoying.

ballsofsteelandfury

– Mrs. Romo

ArmedandHammered

Why? Does he call you someone else’s name?

Last edited 2 years ago by ArmedandHammered
Spur

He still leads the league in smiles.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

As opposed to Jonathan Owens, who leads the league in Biles.

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Last edited 2 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Horatio Cornblower

I would murder a hobo for her shoulder/bicep development.

Sorry, Scotchy, don’t mean to thin the herd.

JimU

The Superb Owl hangover is real, but not as bad my hangover.

Horatio Cornblower

OK, I’m taking a bathroom break, because unlike the Bengals special teams I’m not willing to shit all over myself in public.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“What about in private?” – Osi Umenyiora

Gumbygirl

Whoooooooooooooooooooo!

ballsofsteelandfury

That was a game, huh? Wow!

WCS

Out of all the games played this opening weekend, that was definitely one of them.

WCS

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Doktor Zymm

I was half thinking that the clock would run out and the Steelers would miss the chance to kick the FG, but then I remembered they have Tomlin who is competent at clock management. No double tie for us!
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hippofant

Rodgers is gonna make that rookie ride in the bus washroom back to the airport.

ArmedandHammered

With Roethlisberger.

litre_cola

Aaron hates that receiver so much already

ArmedandHammered

Gonna cough on him real hard.

Last edited 2 years ago by ArmedandHammered
Gatoraids

Going to treat him like family

ArmedandHammered

I hate that within 2 minute rule.

Horatio Cornblower

Agreed. It’s the worst thing about the NFL.

Other than the misogyny, of course.

Horatio Cornblower

Joe Burrow absolutely has money on Pittsburgh.

Horatio Cornblower

How many people’s leagues just went tits up with Najee Harris going out in Week 1?

King Hippo

LOVIE SMITH IS MAH GOD

clint greasewood

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Horatio Cornblower

There are 2 outs in the bottom of the 2nd and the Yankees have outscored the Patriots, 10-7.

litre_cola

I do believe your football team will destroy old man Brady and his peanut brittle offensive line.

Horatio Cornblower

From your lips to the many ears of Bleergh, Shank’lor, and the rest of the pantheon.

ArmedandHammered

I would love to see him get career ending injury (just like every day) just to have Giselle file the divorce papers the next day.

clint greasewood

The Football deities want their sacrifices.

WCS

PRAISE SHAN’KLOR

Mr. Ayo

DOINK!

Spur

LOLOLOLOLOL

Horatio Cornblower

DOINK!!!

King Hippo

DOINK

litre_cola

GIVE ME ALL THE TIES!!!!

King Hippo

Don’t change a thiiiiiing!

Mr. Ayo

The Clots!

fleshwound_NPG

CLOLTS

Spur

Its Kicker melt down day

clint greasewood

Pittsburgh getting their annual tie out of the way early this season.

King Hippo

upon further review….

Horatio Cornblower

Long-snapper try-outs in Cincinnati next week.

WCS

REDSHIRT HATES FOOTBALL REAGAIN

Spur

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King Hippo

Redshirt, I suggest heroine!

Spur

Laces Out!

Mr. Ayo

The Bungles!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

And the Clit Commanders won? Better check the local diamond shops next to animal testing facilities.

Doktor Zymm

Game is still going, but they just intercepted JAX, so yeah, probably. Surprisingly decent game, and Wentz looks decent maybe ~75% of the time

Horatio Cornblower

Counterpoint: It’s Jacksonville.

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Horatio Cornblower

It’s at least you and the Steelers front 7.

Horatio Cornblower

CBS just showed a score of 27-26 with the tag “end of the 4th”

Forgive me ignorance, but wouldn’t that be “final”?

fleshwound_NPG

both kyle shanahan and the falcons will eternally pay for 28-3

Doktor Zymm

Wow, Wentz did a really nice good! And nice catch for Dotson

Doktor Zymm

And 2-pt conversion! I guess the team is really benefiting from Snyder’s absence

Horatio Cornblower

Is he still out at sea?

Doktor Zymm

It looks like he was until yesterday, when he flew his private jet back to the States to catch the game. From what I heard he might stay out there until after the November elections
https://twitter.com/DanSnydersYacht

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I watched the last quarter of that Bears game and am still confused by a win

Doktor Zymm

There are a few surprises so far, but that’s gotta be one of the surprisiest

JimU

Weather was crap and it was the first game so it’s hard to read too much into it. That being said, Trey Lance doesn’t look like a starting QB in the league.

Doktor Zymm

Ordered Curry Pizza for late game food, so even if all these games end up sucking at least I will have Desi garlic bread to munch on

litre_cola

/texts Balls to see if garlic bread is a California sexy euphemism.

/is not, but Indian garlic bread sounds devine

Doktor Zymm

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Horatio Cornblower

On Bungles, thou hast bungled.

Redshirt

“Other than that, how was the play, Mrs. Lincoln.”

JimU

Joe Flacco-Not elite.

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