Your Sunday Night NFL Football Open Thread

Hello again. Just one more game to cap off a wonderful day of footballin’. Let’s get at it, shall we?

To The Game!

Bucs/Cowboys:

-It’s hard to imagine Micah Parsons playing any better than he did last year but that rat bastard (he’s a Cowboy) is my pick for DPOY.

-Godwin must surely be on a pitch count so the question becomes, “Evans or Julio?”. I’d pick Evans as the one that the Cowboys should pay most attention to. Sure, Julio can move the ball downfield but the likelihood of him actually getting into the endzone is thin.

-Tampa is a miserable 1-12 when they wander down to Dallas.

-Hopefully the Cowboys have Pollard in the mix more than they have had in year’s previous. He adds a bit of juice to that backfield. Don’t get me wrong-if you want to salt a win away by running the ball, Zeke is the best in the league. (let’s pretend that Derrick Henry doesn’t exist for a moment) But Pollard has a ‘take it to the house when you least expect it’ quality about him.

-A bottom 5 o-line? That’s what one Sirius football talkin’ guy accused Dallas of having during a fit of hyperbole. That said, that unit must be the central concern of most fans of the team. Zach Martin is still around but the rest of the line is a mess.

-Last year them Cowboys had the highest turnover Expected Points Added of any team in the last five years. They’ll get theirs as long as Diggs & Co. are around but they can’t expect to approach that number again this year.

You’re free to do what you (mostly) wish down below.

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Spur

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hippofant

Nothing less sexy than a blatant disregard for road safety.

LemonJello

TB12 denied a TD for the 2nd time tonight?

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Spur

#88 Club comes with free pair of scissors and trial attorney

LemonJello

BYOC* Bring Your Own Cocaine (and some for Irvin)

Horatio Cornblower

I think any time they introduce Ol’ Double J’s wife the word “wife” needs to be preceded by “long suffering”

Gatoraids

Lot of Jackson Pollocks in the Dallas skybox massage room

Don T

Huh. Thought they were condiment spills.

LemonJello

Not as many as in Deshaun Watson’s

LemonJello

The Emmys are still a thing? Really?

WCS

Monarchies still are, too, so why the hell not.

Spur

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Spur

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Spur

very nice stop for Dallas

clint greasewood

Just replace Cris “Covid” Collinswroth with Younger Collinsworth and know will notice.

Spur

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Spur

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ballsofsteelandfury

¡Jesús!

litre_cola

I for one would like to see her backside as well.

King Hippo

I like her shoulders too.

Don T

Cristo. Amado.

LemonJello

Collinsworth-less sounds like he gargled the wrong QB balls.

Spur

and 1 Dallas lineman gone, great.

Spur

Dark Zeke

ballsofsteelandfury

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Fronkenshteen

Jesus. Zeke’s head looks like potted kudzu.

Horatio Cornblower

“looks like”

LemonJello

A steady diet of lead paint chips takes a toll on a person.

King Hippo

but that TASTE, man!

Doktor Zymm

Kudzu generates air pollution, but I guess in his case it’s hair pollution

Horatio Cornblower

Collinsworth sounds like he’s losing his voice.

My sense of optimism is rising.

yeah right

Thank you sir but I’ve actually eaten too many banana cakes today.

SKOL MOTHERFUCKERS!!

Doktor Zymm

That was a fine lookin’ win for your guys!

yeah right

Justin fucking Jefferson. First fantasy pick for my team too.

King Hippo

If other defenses cover him like GB, he will be the first WR to win MVP

Spur

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Spur

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Redshirt

Is that Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader doing a Sign Language Translation of the instrumental version of a song?

Horatio Cornblower

Forget it Redshirt: it’s Dallas-Fort Worth.

Last edited 2 years ago by Horatio Cornblower
Horatio Cornblower

Presenting our flag today are first responders from Texas, but not Uvalde, for reasons that should be obvious.

blaxabbath

Because the moms haven’t secured AT&T Stadium yet?

Don T

Credit services ad means it’s Telemundo
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herodotus450

NO solamente

The Maestro

Does anyone else LAMAHHHH fucked up in turning down 6 yrs/$290 mil from the Ratbirds?

Is he truly worth more than $48 million a year?

Don T

He’s worth it

Doktor Zymm

Only about half guaranteed though, the Browns set a standard giving Mr. Peek-a-boo-dick a fully guaranteed contract and considering how many hits Lamar! takes wanting more guaranteed money makes sense

Horatio Cornblower

I don’t think so, but the way the NFL just puts up pinball numbers for QBs I don’t blame him for demanding more.

Horatio Cornblower

The Cowboys, every time they rush a-soon-to-be-divorced Tom Brady:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37hx1UCTAzY

Spur

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Game Time Decision

Oh Lucy

Spur

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The Maestro

Missed you, Carrie.

Spur

Brady got some botox

ballsofsteelandfury

Brady getting a divorce…

Doktor Zymm

We should make an OKCupid profile for him

litre_cola

Mrs Cola can do the TB 12 diet takedown. She hates that fuckwit.

Doktor Zymm

I would LOVE to read that

King Hippo

Co-signed. I loved her first article.

Gumbygirl

Oh yeah, me too!

clint greasewood

Got an eleven point lead with Tampa Def and Jerry Juedy left going against garbage time specialist Dak Prescot.

Spur

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Spur

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The Maestro

YOU CALL THAT CONTOURING???

Don T

The Telemundo feed is all El equipo de América this, Brady el mejor en la historia that. At least the pregame is spare
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ballsofsteelandfury

¿Y ella quién es?

Last edited 2 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Don T

Ariana… No sé. Pero lo hace bien.

King Hippo

Apologies, but I will only half-assedly watch this. Dak! is on one leg, with no OTs. This is gonna be a slaughter.

TheRevanchist

But Jason Garrett picked dem cows to win. Surely that counts for something

King Hippo

Wants the Supper Club to marvel at his bravery

LemonJello

I made it back to the fortress. What did I miss?

Doktor Zymm

Upsets, a tie, almost another tie, some very good entertaining football and also the Jets!

ballsofsteelandfury

And a banner for you!

Doktor Zymm

woohoo!

Doktor Zymm

Uh oh, Mac’s back attacked!
Hope he’s okay, he seems quite likable for a Patriot

King Hippo

As far as overseers go, one could do much worse than The Legend of White Mac.

King Hippo

I lost with Justin Jefferson starting for me. I am really, REALLY bad at this.

WCS

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Spur

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Spur

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ballsofsteelandfury

Celebrating the Steelers’ victory, I see.

blaxabbath

Absolutely FROTHING sitting here waiting for the post-game show to start taking Qardinals Qallers.

Spur

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JimU

I feel really bad for all the people celebrating their 21st birthday today.

WCS

Butters is 25 today.

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Last edited 2 years ago by WCS
Horatio Cornblower

Some greasy foreigner just won the US Open, if you’re wondering what the worst thing that ever happened in New York on 9/11 is.

Don T

a greasy teenager. Feh

Spur

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Spur

Let’s do this Dallas haters

Horatio Cornblower

Went for 2 after a TD when they were down one. And the Giants made it, then the Titans missed a gimme FG.

You know, the usual.

Doktor Zymm

75% of infinity is still infinity

WCS

“Witchcraft!”

— Qaaron

Redshirt

This has been a weird Week 1 so far.

Fronkenshteen

It seems like they all are. Every week 2 as I’m looking to bet, I feel as though I’ve never watched the NFL in my life. Such a strange sport.

Doktor Zymm

As it should be!

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