Your Monday Night Football Open Thread

Oh Lordy, did some things happen yesterday! Let’s head over and take a look at a few items.

Fallout:

-Dank Prescott is gone for 6-8 weeks and if you leaned into the ‘Boys hype and got yourself some skill dudes from that squadoo you would appear to be screwed. Without Dank back there defenses are going to “Pack That Box!” vs Zeke. CeeDee Lamb’s breakout season has also been put on hold. Two catches on 11 targets!? And now he gets Cooper Rush. Them Jones Boys done it again, I’ll tell you what!

-T.J. Watt has a torn pec-will he wear down just like his older brother? It might be a bit too quick to jump to that but where else was I going to jump?

-The Cards have switched things up and instead of fading down the stretch Kliff’s Kops are fading straight out of the gate.

-The Giants won their first home opener in six years and are being rewarded with a first place spot in the slovenly NFC East.

To The Game!

Broncos/Seahawks:

-May as well get this revenge game out of the way the first week of the season. One wonders what kind of hellfire Noah Fant will unleash on Denver.

-Pete Carroll insists that nothing is wrong but the Vegas 0/U of a paltry 5.5 wins tells a different story. Carroll has also advocated for “Booing” Russell Wilson when he makes his way on to the field. Classy.

-Kudos to Geno Smith winning the starting job battle-was anyone on the coaching staff awake for the entire thing?

-A Slow Start? Very few Donks starters played minutes in the preseason. I think the Cards took the same approach. Hmmm…

-Courtland Sutton’s prop for catches is 4.5. That appears to be “first half achievable”.

Get at it, lords and ladies.

 

5 5 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
533 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
WCS

Nice hands, Feet.

King Hippo

Like the “Joy Book” on Big Love!

Spur

Looks like the Donks now have an offense.

Recovery Whiskey

Should’ve been picked

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I kind of want to screw with my TV’s color settings so that everything is black except for the Seahawks uniforms.

Doktor Zymm

Trrippy!

Redshirt

I think the old 50’s Black and White TV would still show the true color of the jerseys.

Recovery Whiskey

Lost a step

Redshirt

Something tells me I should close this tab as I won’t be using it tonight.

Cast Away (4/5) Movie CLIP – I’m Sorry, Wilson! (2000) HD – YouTube

Redshirt

Geno Smith is 17 for 18, 164 yard and 2 TD?

What Kind Of Place Is This – YouTube

Horatio Cornblower

Going to enjoy watching everyone who had Dak Prescott as their QB pick Geno up next week.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I told you, Peyton, never bet against Geno.” – Eli, through a mouthful of pizza rolls

comment image

WCS

Elisha’s sad his buddy Buster wasn’t allowed out so late to share the juice boxes.

comment image

Last edited 2 years ago by WCS
jjfozz

I think Eli found a new place on his body where he can shove crayons into

jjfozz

So Fozz, you own a Labrador. They can be a little crazy, huh?

comment image

King Hippo

IIRC, once Labs get to 3 years old, they chill WAY the fuck out

Horatio Cornblower

Mine’s 6. They do not.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Did somebody say something about a lab?” – Todd Marinovich, looking for a new wholesaler

Doktor Zymm

Wow, Parkinson’s treatment has really come a long way in recent years!

WCS

WVU kisses you, Geno.

Mr. Ayo

That’s a highlight of a TD play there!

King Hippo

Look, you HAVE to be covering if there’s zero fucking pressure on the QB.

Redshirt

I stepped out to talk to Momshirt. I was going to ask for a game update, but Hippo has brought me up to speed.

Doktor Zymm

LET RUSS BE A SOUS CHEF

jjfozz

My 8 year old was infatuated with this lobster tank. I didn’t know whether to smile at childhood innocence, or think maybe he’s kind of a dumbass.

comment image

LemonJello

He was probably just hungry.

Brocky

Those were pretty interesting as a kid

LemonJello

I already want to mute Shannon Sharpe.

Downfield Matriculator

Only thing worse would be Skip Bayless

BugEyedBoo
WCS

SHANK’LOR was sated yesterday, tonight BLEERGH FEASTS.

Also, hello fellow reprobates.

LemonJello

Evening.

comment image

jjfozz

An Indiana Jones themed graphic?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Here in SoCal we get commercials for Morongo casino where the people morph into other people and it freaks me the fuck out.

ThePirateSloth

It’s almost unbelievable how many Broncos WILSON fans there are in this stadium

King Hippo

My ex-wife is one of them!!

ThePirateSloth

Well I don’t like her then!

Recovery Whiskey

Looks like half the stadium sold their tickets. Probably for a profit.

LemonJello

With this economy you have to do whatever to make ends meet. Thanks, Uncle Joe!

jjfozz

With the new football season upon us, I like to watch commercials and document all the different types of PC tropes used in each one.

King Hippo

Truly a golden era for the multi-racial child actor!

jjfozz

My favorite so far was the two gay fathers, both of different races, with the obviously adopted daughter, who was Asian American.

Spur

comment image

jjfozz

Suck it seahawks

Recovery Whiskey

Who can stop future HOF Russell Wilson

jjfozz

A Jerry Jice Jouchdown

Horatio Cornblower

Did they grease the receivers up like Scotsman before this game?

litre_cola

It is truly a breathtaking sight laddie.

Recovery Whiskey

Got to turn around and play the ball

King Hippo

D-O-N-K-S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

King Hippo

Has #FifthPill been deployed? It sure has, Other Hippo!

/y’all poke me with your foot if I forget to breathe and such

Horatio Cornblower

comment image

King Hippo

my BOILING RAGE/HATE will keep me ticking over

litre_cola

Turn sound on your phone and I will text you cursing the Broncos and FF implications.

King Hippo

oh, there been swears comin’ from the HippoLair. BUHLEE DAT

/the Judge Jeudy TD kills me in money league, too (I still cheered it)

Recovery Whiskey

Battle of game managers so far

LemonJello

Less interviewing and more game calling, Manning Bros!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I tried ‘more calling’ and it didn’t help one bit.” – Eli, referring to his attempts to find a date for last year’s Spring Formal.

LemonJello

Did they just pick up an entire TNF game and drop it wholesale onto MNF?

Spur

The Mouse needs to pay for those She-Hulk shows

litre_cola

Did you set any fluids from the pipes yesterday?

LemonJello

We did not. It was a good game day experience. Free parking, free food/drinks at the USO tent and our seats were good. Jaguras still Jagura’d but it wasn’t the ass beating the first half hinted at.

Beer prices are redonkulous.

Recovery Whiskey

Geno’s pumped. Pointlessly

Spur

comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I think my dog is jealous that the Roomba is allowed in the master bedroom but she’s not.

Doktor Zymm

Silly puppy, you don’t really want a digestive system that doesn’t involve excretion!

Mr. Ayo
King Hippo

Surely he still has the nanobubbles??

King Hippo

/but I turn the TV off if Brett Rypien comes into the fixture

Doktor Zymm

What if they’ve expanded to microbubbles!!?

litre_cola

Or Decibubbles for that matter.

King Hippo

WHAT ARE YOU FLEXING FOR Y’ALL AIN’T DONE FUCK SHIT!!!

hippofant
jjfozz

This past Saturday I:

  1. Sorted out my sock drawer
  2. Went to Lowe’s to buy wire for my weed whacker
  3. Reffed a fight between my son and wife
  4. Used the leaf blower
  5. Yelled at my son
  6. Went to my son’s soccer game
  7. Fell asleep on the floor for 20 minutes
  8. Ate pizza
  9. Reffed another fight between my son and wife
  10. Went to bed

If anyone happens to have the Angel of Death’s mobile number, please email it to me.

Doktor Zymm

Well done though!

King Hippo

It gets better. Eventually they all grow up and leave home.

Although, without the divorce, maybe it doesn’t??

King Hippo

Christ, this is gonna go down to the wire

Recovery Whiskey

And there goes Adams

Mr. Ayo

Dammit. More like Jamal “Glass” Adams.

Recovery Whiskey

Ah the Russell Wilson coverage sack.

jjfozz

Also, admins. I changed my password, wipe my cache, wiped my history, couldn’t sign in on Chrome. Can on Firefox

litre_cola

ask Gametimedecision, or internet dad on the ole back channel

Doktor Zymm

try refresh the page after signing in, works for me

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I too have found this method helpful.

King Hippo

log in, click the article (it will say logged out, but disregard), then hit refresh. Works almost every time

Gumbygirl

That’s what works for me too.

Spur

have you tried turning it off and back on?

Gatoraids

Barkley will injure himself during this interview

Spur

Am going to be sadder when Samuel L. Jackson passes away then i was about some Royal twat.

Recovery Whiskey

So far sea raptors over ungulates.

Spur

Let’s go Donks
comment image

LemonJello

Is this “Star Wars” thing going to catch on with today’s youth?

jjfozz

I’m kinda thinking I’ll watch it. Then again I first saw Star Wars in a theater when I was 8, so it’s part of my being. Although the Obi Wan series sucked dead donkey dick.

LemonJello

Here, too. I’m a sucker for Star Wars. I was more disappointed in The Book of Boba Fett than Obi Wan.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I get excited about it every time I see the preview – which looks spectacular – and then forget about it within an hour.

Spur

Mando was ok. the rest not so much

jjfozz

This is my old boss. I would like to force feed him a bucket of egg shells mixed with vinegar. Yes, it’s been two years, but I can hold a grudge like a motherfucker.
comment image

LemonJello

Even this photo oozes smarm.

Redshirt

I worked with someone who was so toxic, half the people doubt she exists, and the other half ask why I’m not in jail for punching her in the face.

Last edited 2 years ago by Redshirt
jjfozz

He would hide in his office all day, and then come out to either get water or tinkle. During this 30 seconds he would avoid everyone. If someone did get his attention, he would talk with a pained expression on his face. He’s a pussy.

Recovery Whiskey

Looks like guys on linkedin that like to call themselves “thought leaders.”

jjfozz

He’s a leader like Idi Amin was a leader.

Doktor Zymm

Ah, the rolled up sleeves because he’s “one of the guys who likes to pitch in” except no

Gumbygirl

He is in love with himself. TOTAL JAGOFF!

Horatio Cornblower

So unlike Pete Carroll to fuck up a call on short yardage.

King Hippo

Bring out yer index card

Recovery Whiskey

That spots turrible

King Hippo

TRUE, but the 3rd down spot was shitty in y’all’s favoUr

Spur

Geno playing so well he might try to con the kickers at halftime with Amway.

Last edited 2 years ago by Spur