Heavens be! It’s nice to have a choice in America these days, isn’t it? (I’ve said too much)
To The Games!
Falcons/Rams:
If Stafford and Co. don’t bounce back in a big way vs Atlanta the football (as opposed to pearl) clutchers will be out in full force. But they’ve too much talent for that to happen, right? I really can’t see the Falcons doing anything more than rolling over and exposing their big, fat, white bellies though.
Seahawks/Niners:
Seattle is 1-0, that oughtta melt your steel beams for sure. We’ll actually get to see what sort of team San Fran actually is-that game in the slop last week was an indicator of nothing. They’ll not be at full strength yet because The Brittle One is still out.
Bengals/Cowboys:
Them durn Jones Boys (courtesy of their own incompetence) have sponsored a limited run of the Hanging With Mr. Cooper show! I’m actually curious to see how each of these teams deal with last week’s unfortunate events. The guess here is that Cincy gets the W because the Cowboys O will be out of sorts, having to adjust to Rush’s limitations.
Texans/Broncos:
Here’s hoping that Hackett hired an End Game Strategery Coach first thing last Monday morning. Coaching not to lose is what it felt and looked like to me. Houston isn’t expected to win much but last week they found that sweet spot in that they didn’t lose. It’s a start.
Cards/Raiders:
What to make of these two teams after last week? Not much. Both squadoos have tons of talent on both sides of the ball but couldn’t get it together. Try to figure this out-Arizona has lost 6 of their last seven games and yet is 12-5 on the road over the last two seasons. Davante was targeted 17 times last week, nice knowing ya, Cards cb’s.
Push some buttons.
STAFFORCEPTION!
Did anyone else see the shit-eating grin on Janeane’s face when she re-took the reins?
If I didn’t know any better, I think the game plan against the Bengals is “Where is Eli Apple?”
RUN A SNEAK DAMN IT
Joe Burrow is looking for the next migrant bus headed for 1 Observatory Circle NW.
I’d never kink shame the starting qb of my fave team but you do you.
At this point, I’m just riffing on the Bengals. You guys are Tom Servo and Crow.
RO-BOT-ROLL-CALL!
Let Russ cook TV dinners for Tom Brady when its her weekend with the kids
Sherman is really enjoying this.
https://twitter.com/RSherman_25/status/1571616002571632642
RUSS WILL PRAY 4 HIM
Joe Burrow looks like he is could breakdown and cry at any moment.
Bengalized – Wikipedia
Wouldn’t you?
this will be Burrow in multiple ways by end of the season
Well, Drew Sample is dead. That can’t not help Joe Burrow’s health.
womp womp:
https://theathletic.com/3605485/2022/09/18/herm-edwards-out-arizona-state/
This is what happens when you don’t play to win the game.
Or when you talk about it and then don’t bother following up on it.
I don’t know what’s more shocking, that this is happening or that it showed up in my Twitter feed unrelated to one of you guys liking it:
https://twitter.com/iarentspartacus/status/1571124052059881480?t=S6fjToOjPWnqcdRum_eXww&s=19
Hm, that’s odd. I just turned on the CIN-DAL game but it looks like a game from 1993. Look at David Klingler running for his life behind no protection up front. Too bad that ruined his career.
Will Joe Burrow survive the season? Let’s ask Ash.
How does Cincy let Burrow have a shitty line to protect him? Dallas pass rush is NOT this good.
Qards might be the worst squadron in the League
OK, pain pill mentor-what the Donkfuck is going on with respect to the Texans?
RedZone not showing much, but OL looks problematic to me.
Moar like Russell Washed.
RUSS WILL PRAY 4 U
Tomsulas GRITDOWN
Scabby Joe and Miles of Mary are celebrating, for sure.
Just lit a joint. Which rolling paper smells the best? I’m partial to Top.
I dunno, but I can definitively state that Old Pal papers suck donkey dicks.
What a shitshow. HOX have a hangover from last week.
Damn it, where were THESE Truthers on Monday??
Did somebody tell the CowPersons D that Cinci’s players have cocaine in their pockets?
Anyone remember The Monks?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2FxwTLeIqg&ab_channel=rooftopc
WTF was that? JFC.
They said was Deejay Dallas’ first career passing attempt. I will boldly bet that it’s his last, too.
picnic party
In-ter-CEPT!!!!!
Oh Fatthew
Quite the wet fart there, wasn’t it?
Jesus. Zeke looks ready for dancing with the fucking stars.
Is the dressing room paint leaded?
I’mma join Spirit Animal, just lather, rinse, and repeat with pills. Until I forgets Monday is looming.
BLEERGH giveth and taketh away (in Santa Clara)
DK!!!
I know I’m given to hyperbole, but is there any more doubt that that Tony Pollard is the lead back for the Dallas Cowboys, and Ezekiel Elliot is just another of Jerry Jones’ follies?
Them durn Jones Boys will figure out this puzzle in 2025. You can count on it!
Just got off the phone with my brother who is a huge Jets fan and I was so happy for him that I didn’t even point out how he feels right now is the same way I felt when this happened:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7r8ciTg7ceM
Seahawks coming back down to earth just like the Twin Towers back in 2001.
Too soon.
https://twitter.com/nyjets/status/1571593361106108416?s=20&t=g_dhqtcG_3tJLfukDLFzVw
Mariota slipping on banana peels and still makes the pass
I assume the peels are leftover from the cakes made during the earlier slate of games?
Been a while since I’ve seen Lovie Smith’s impressive beard.
God, the Bears fucked him good. 10-6 and you get canned? Fuck.
NFC North is known for its vast collection of head coaching prowess through its history.
He went #FullHobo his last years with Illinois.
The AFC North will finish in a four-way-tie for first, with each team 8-8-1.
7-8-2
JANEANE!!! I’m with HER!!!!!
Yikes. Stay safe Don T
https://twitter.com/davenewworld_2/status/1571581260140810240?s=20&t=g_dhqtcG_3tJLfukDLFzVw
If he’s got a Burger King, he’s fine.
That’s criminal, when you think about it.
took me awhile to get it, but WELL DONE
SHOW MOAR OF MY TERRIBLE GAME, DAMNIT!
Get IN Cort WOO!!!!!!!!!!!
(oy)
In. Com. Plete.
Has anyone told you lately that you are Bastard Man??
Sideline camera guy got blasted. Right in the beak.
/taking another pain pill
Talk me through this Hippo. When do my dead grandparents stop singing? And why did they choose “Hello Dolly”?
Take another pill, clear your throat, and they should skip to next song
FREE BIRD
/waves cigarette lighter
“The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald”? Is there a pill exchange I should be aware of?
Let me know if/when they perform Brandy (You’re A Fine Girl).
Don T wellness check?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrst3TyImr4&ab
He’s getting the island’s tarp out of the shed. Probably be back around soon.
“It’s so frickin’ hard getting the tarp around these damn islets!”
-Don T, sipping a scotch and huffing a cigar during his mandatory break
Again, dunno why I discount the Superb Owl Hangover every goddamned year, when it happens every single time.
Wow, giving the ball to CeeDee in space this week. Am not worried am sure that tactic wont last long.
Dammit HOX, you were supposed to maim the opposing QB last week.
#ProtectedByChrist
Damn that sucks for Trey Lance.
Romo: “Cooper Rush is better than you think.”
Me: “How can he not be?”
Janeane is warming!!
looks like Lance, he die. Brick might have to hook him up with his robot foot guy.
What an early slate! The only ‘off’ score seems to be the Tampa/Saints tilt.
https://twitter.com/SportsCenter/status/1571593408547885059?s=20&t=LcrRPTILLjjaR7QjrukbQw
was he instructed to go down? I’d be surprised if so.
Sometimes its hard to get a Chubb to go down, and then it gets awkward.
The key is to think about baseball.
Took the Dirty birds +10.5, Hox +8.5, Dallas+7, .500s +10.5, and Qards +5.5 and mashed them into a big stupid parlay. And we’re getting takeout, I already mowed the lawn, and all I have left to do tonight is fold five mountains of laundry. Aaaaaaaand the commies are vanquished. Suck it, Snyder.
HOLY SHIT Jets
the Browns deserved that meltdown
And with that, the AFC North is 0-3 this week against the AFC East.