Welp, I guess the Fins are sorta for real-I’ll say it again, I really like Nerd Coach’s play-calling. Houston jumped out to an early lead and couldn’t hold on. (I’m sensing a pattern) I’ll stop right now because I don’t want to step on Hippo’s hooves.
To The Game!
Niners/Broncos:
-The newly-configured Denver O-brought to you by Wilson-is giving the team 16 (exactly 16! No more, no less) points a game so far this year. I was told there would be a transition involved but I figured it would be positive. Will they reach 18? Perhaps 20 tonight? Baby steps.
-The running game is a mixed bag-both Javonte and Melvin are averaging 5+ ypc but don’t have a TD between them. You’d think that drought would end tonight.
-Brittle Kittle is finally back!
-Called It! Some fella by the name of Jerry Rosburg-a former Ravens assistant head coach-was in the building by Wednesday last week. His role is to advise Hackett with in-game decisions and provide him with ‘guidance’ and ‘not fucking up’ simple decisions, I’m guessing.
-Hackett has committed himself to improving which is wonderful because it seems as though there is a chasm he has to cross.
-Great Find? Rook 4th round cb Damarri Mathis was pressed into action last week when Surtain suffered an injury. He was graded out at 77.9 by the fine folks over at PFF, garnering a top 5 freshman score for week 2.
-Curious Prop Bet Opportunity: Deebo’s longest reception has been placed at 22.5 yards. He exceeded that number 20 times last year and Jimmy G. unloaded a few deep throws last week. In addition, going back to the beginning of last year the Broncos have allowed a catch of 23+ yards in all but one tilt. Sounds like money.
Do your thingy.
So…..Russ backbreaking interception or do they anti-Pete Carroll it and run the ball?
On a scale of failed Bronco qb’s, I give Russell’s play a score of 8 1/2 out of 10 Paxton’s.
Artist’s conception of Hippo’s reaction.
its tebow time
Voice Over: “For those playing at home, Russell Wilson is a cook who specializes in coprophagia. Let’s see if anyone notices.”
I have never seen a 5 point lead look more insurmountable.
Well just look at this 1 point lead!
Shit.
When does the Donks’ contingent here start asking for Pat Shurmur back?
Speaking of ‘Welcome to Wrexham’, if Rob and Ryan are able to get a show out of taking over Wrexham, what are the odds that we could sell a show based on a plucky band of internet shut-ins taking over a different team in the same league and trying to use Hippo’s OCD-fascination with Footy Manager to try to get them promoted?
I have to think Prime TV would give us at least $1.83 for the rights to our efforts with, say, Torquay United.
Can we give the team a new nickname? The Wee Baby Shamuses? I’m good for a buck fifty.
/is not good for a buck fifty
//spent all his money at the liquor store yesterday
The Matron Saints.
So you’re just gonna disrespect Scunthorpe United like that?
I would say we should do Penzance FC, but they’re level 10 and not even really on the pyramid
Please tell me they’re known as the Pirates
Let Russ Doordash
I’d forgotten what a touchback looked like.
Ok fine, i turned the game on. Can we get another safety now?
Have you touched yourself recently?
What kind of question is that? Obviously.
Sorry, only a single 49ers field goal is allowed the rest of the game.
This game stinks on ice.
It’s not much better on grass.
Who says low scoring games can’t be entertaining? NAWT THIS GAL!
Juicecheck with the fullback toe tap sideline catch! This game has everything.
Out. Of. Challenges.
The last time I saw a reach like that involving a Wilson Tom Hanks was nearly drowning while trying to get a volleyball back.
ok, I will admit, that made me mad
Wait… Have we hd 2 successful 63 yd FGs and a failed 36? That seems like it should be an illuminati code, but it’s probably just weird
Beyond Insurmountable
Insurmountable lead!
Aight. Calling it a night. Later, Taters!
Also: DUUUUUVVVVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Hx6
that there mascot loves ‘Murica!
that all but kills scorigami chances
13-5 is one!
13-5 is now in play, but that involves sf somehow scoring more points
In money league my opponent was listed as having a 99% chance of winning starting at 1:10pm EST. It hasn’t changed all day.
Did you start only Steelers, Wentz, and injured players?
Good for them, they could use some fun.
https://twitter.com/TheDiscFather/status/1574126506095562752
If they ain’t doin’ it in the Amazon position, I’ll pass.
How old is Supergirl?
In Earth years or Krypton years?
(I have no idea if there’s a difference)
These details matter!!!
M.Gaetz, FL
Ain’t they like first cousins or something?
Didn’t stop the Hapsburgs, and that’s why the Austro-Hungarian Empire continues to thrive to this very day!
So the super powers would balance out the retardation?
Yes, at least in some versions of continuity.
But (1) first cousin marriage is legal in many many places, and no, not the ones you’re thinking of — the map of where it’s legal and where it isn’t would probably surprise you; and (2) the risks of birth defects from a single pairing of first cousins is surprisingly low — the inbreeding problems come when you repeat those marriages over multiple generations like the royal families of Europe.
Yes, I have a hot cousin, why do you ask? (Actually, I’m just assuming — I have only seen pictures of her since a long time ago.)
I mean, I can’t blame him. She’s really hot.
Well, they are an endangered species.
How goddamn good is Welcome to Wrexham?
so goddamned good I am keeping up with the DVR every week!
While I love the show, and what Rob and Ryan are trying to do, learning in the last episode that a National League squad has a payroll equivalent to what a League 2 team getting promoted to League One would have does take some of the fun out of rooting for them.
I still will, though. You think an inflated payroll is going to stop a Yankees fan? GTFOH.
I’m all for more income equality in sports, pay dem lowers!
Definitely, but the problem is that Wrexham is the only one paying their team like that.
Apparently not getting promoted last year led to a $1 million $1.5 million loss.
Which I’ll wage the Hulu/FX advance more than made up for.
Hey, someone has gotta start the wage inflation
https://twitter.com/treblaw/status/1574228399576473603
oh jim
I’m glad they aren’t skipping the scary Halloween stuff
If this is the Broncos are letting Russ cook, he’s obviously cooking NyQuil chicken
This is Banner material.
Great stuff.
Can my shitty grammar/autocorrect be fixed if it goes up at least?
Nope. You’re stuck with it for eternity.
Or at least until Son of Spam decides to make an effort for the banner.
That just adds to the charm(slinging)
In. Com. Plete!
I am enjoying the solid special teams play on punts in this game
the FG unit could learn quite a bit from their special teams brethren
mvps def the punters and punting coverage
It’s like watching a soccer game where the goalkeepers just keep leadfooting to the other side in hopes of something interesting happening . . . or in other words every soccer game,
Let the spirit of tWBS wash over you. [makes weird gestures with fingers]
The team who has not converted a third down through THREE QUARTERS and committed an Orlovsky is winning.
https://twitter.com/edsbs/status/1574218319384793090
Finally we got our revenge on Canadia!
Swing tackle sounds kinky
Hearing reports that 8-7 would be a Scorigami, so I now regret laughing at that missed FG.
Hard same
I mean, for a neutral this is a very, very amusing contest.
I’ve calmed down now, having made peace with this not being a good team. Plus, I am very full and looking forward to sleep.
All the gods are in Denver tonight?
PRAISE SHANK’LHOR FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW
Only one missing is the Tie God
Ah, the one known as Kharr A Dynne ?
Nailed It!
— B. Walsh
The DFO pantheon is turning out in abundance for this game
Just put in a dollar fun bet!
Goodest of lucks!
It’ll never happen, but if it does, I’M BUYING SO MUCH CANDY!!!
I wish there was some way to let Roger Goodell know that I’ve tuned out of this game and tuned into Making the Cut.
Is that the one where Meg Ryan did full frontal to distract from her obvious plastic surgery?
No, wait, that’s ‘In The Cut’
I will not stand for Meg Ryan blasphemy. She is wonderful and forever looks like in When Harry Met Sally.
Yeah, but she doesn’t though.
LALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU
BLEERGH REVELS IN ALL THE LAUNDRY ON THE FIELD!
Wow, 7-7 is most definitely NOT a scorigami, can you believe it has happened 31 times?!
Not this way it hasn’t.
There’s not a website for that though, it’s a gap in the market!
Not since 1997 though, so we’re DUE
My guess is that it happened plenty of times in the 60’s and 70’s.
First one was 1920, so popular throughout the ages
Hackett making notes for his in-game adjustments:
It feels like the 4th. How is the game only halfway through the third? Fuck this noise.
The last time a Bosa was that far into a place they weren’t supposed to be was January 6th.
8-7 would be a scorigami so go donks
Is 7- 5 a scorigami? Howseabout 7 – 8?
I give up on the game and I miss an Orlovsky?!
https://twitter.com/danorlovsky7/status/1574222602515668992
As is his habit, I think he crossed a line here.
Unlike the English at Stirling Bridge.
Fucking hipsters, TAKE A CHANCE, you don’t need lifejackets for a FUCKING CANOE
the colorado rockies are now down only two runs to the sf giants 7-5
Get your maypoles out, it’s time for the safety dance