Your Mid/Late Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

Well, we’ve been blessed with the 8/2 split of games this fair Sunday. Wonderful. You know, it wouldn’t be hard, at all to even out these games a bit. The intrepid viewer would have more choices and everybody would win. Easy, but no. I do love whining about this though, so there’s that.

To The Games!

Seahawks/Cards:

Geno might have himself a day here vs a very generous Arizonny pass D. They rank 23rd in air defense and give up an average of 26 points per game which is 30th in the league. The Cards saving grace is that they have converted four turnovers into scores. Also, attention/injury whore J.J. Watt is playing well.

Rams/Bucs:

Two sputtering offenses featuring disappointing qb’s do battle here. Will Tommy chew out his less-than-stellar o-line yet again? (you have to know he’s done it behind the scenes as well, right?) Will Fatthew have ‘get well’ hotdogs delivered to the injury tent? Will he get mustard on his uniform??? These are the questions that need answers. I’ve got another one also. Who do you think Brady will end up dating after the season is over? This is a dude that is very calculating regarding his public image so I’m sure it’ll be some sort of high profile celebrity. Someone in their early ’30’s perhaps? Or will he not be able to help himself and go the supermodel route again? Maybe Abigail Ratchford? (I googled ‘supermodels in their 30’s’)

I’ll take your guesses in the comments.

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Dunstan

Just got an email survey asking me how likely I am to recommend 7-11 to a friend.

It’s fucking 7-11. Are we talking about friends who arrived directly from Mars? “You know, you should try this establishment called 7-11. Don’t be fooled by the name, they’re actually open 24-7!”

Horatio Cornblower

Do you need a porno magazine, a hot dog of questionable vintage, and a sugary yet slushy drink of enormous proportions?

Have I got news for you!

Last edited 2 years ago by Horatio Cornblower
Dunstan

Your mention of “news” reminds me — 7-11 asking for word of mouth is like Christian proselytizers asking if I’ve “heard the good news.”

“Hmm? Jesus? Never heard of him. Is he the guy who works at 7-11?”

Recovery Whiskey

The fact you replied is what they’re after

Dunstan

Oh I didn’t reply. The question was in the email. I’m not sure how they got my email address in the first place, though.

Recovery Whiskey

Big Data

Gumbygirl

I would recommend Sheetz!

yeah right

Sheetz is fine but they’re no WaWa.

ThePirateSloth

When I lived in Savannah during the late 90s, there was a 7 To 11 little market that actually was only open from 7am to 11pm. It had been there for… decades? maybe, I don’t remember. Zero relation to the chain. They talked shit about the chain.

Dunstan

“See, me and McDonald’s got this little misunderstanding. I’m McDowell’s…”

Horatio Cornblower

Stafford’s either bleeding or he squeezed his jelly doughnut too hard.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hitting that key Qdemographic

Horatio Cornblower

These offensive penalties, like everything else in Tampa, are contagious.

Mr. Ayo

Red ring of death on this Xbox Jr

Horatio Cornblower

If you go to Gamestop you can probably get another for like $1.50.

yeah right

Deep cut.

Recovery Whiskey

Coby Bryant helicoptered right by him.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This is a smashing comment

Recovery Whiskey

Pete Carroll teams get the stupidest penalties. Illegal formation on the kickoff.

Mr. Ayo

Insurmountable lead!

Recovery Whiskey

Geno bailed out by zona derptitude

Recovery Whiskey

More evidence Jack Tatum or Ronnie Lott could not play today’s game. Or Kam Chancellor for that matter

Last edited 2 years ago by Recovery Whiskey
BrettFavresColonoscopy

What if I’ve accidentally done with bourbon what the Dread Pirate Roberts did with iocane powder?

Gumbygirl

Are you mostly dead?

King Hippo

Ain’t nobody in the desert know the ROOLZ

Mr. Ayo

Geno, you are no longer eligible for an MVP vote, much less the actual award.

King Hippo

This derp-off still beats LA/TB. And is more relevant.

Recovery Whiskey

Theres the Geno we all thought we were getting

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yaaaaaaaay, vindication!

King Hippo

ruh roh, putative MVP Geno

Recovery Whiskey

Zona trying to rewrite the rules on forward passes.

King Hippo

Deffo two forward passes there.

Mr. Ayo

A proper USFL tribute.

yeah right

Damn time change. Fuck it I’m cracking open a bottle of vino at 3 in the afternoon.

Mr. Ayo

You’re late!

Although there’s a reason right now is called a present.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ummm some of us have been drinking a LOT longer than that…

King Hippo

Whether you think you can or you can’t…you’re RITE

Recovery Whiskey

When Geno goes three and out he’s still cheaper than when Wilson does

Gatoraids

Glad the NFL gave Brady and Rodgers Thanksgiving off so they could spend it with each other

Recovery Whiskey

Worst buddy movie ever

King Hippo

the sex was HOT tho

Recovery Whiskey

Seattle games back on, that will conclude the CFL for today.

Recovery Whiskey

COME ON YOU STAMPS

King Hippo

I guess Fatthew’s hands were too fucking fat to feel that snap. Disgusting fat motherfucker.

Recovery Whiskey

B-Wagz still got it.

King Hippo

LMAO, they won’t even let the sad old man go for 4th and 6. He just can’t throw that far downfield.

Recovery Whiskey

This Stafford hate is good hustle

ballsofsteelandfury

CFL semi is on ESPN2!

King Hippo

lmk if Swag Kelly plays!

Recovery Whiskey

Hilarity at immediately recognizing BC Place. Years of soccer’s ruined me

Col. Duke LaCross

Roll-punt.

King Hippo

Hippo’s nap streak looks to end at 6 days! I am sure that is TOTES normal, and says nothing untoward about my physical and/or mental health.

Mr. Ayo

It’s not too late to deploy emergency pill

Mr. Ayo

SUDDEN CHANGE!

Eat shit Xbox Jr.

Recovery Whiskey

Nice scrappy play by Kyler

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My brother is absolutely overjoyed about the Jets’ win. I am trying to absorb some of his happiness, like a vampire.

King Hippo

Rikki, I am genuinely befuddled by this Raiders team. Can you explain what’s going on? Why is Hunter Renfrow almost totally out of the offense? Why do they pull up and seem to quit (either early or late), most weeks?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What’s to be confused about? It’s the same old Raiders, just with fewer penalties thanks to the Patriots carryover effect (which will wear out soon). They find ways to lose games. It’s just what they do.

King Hippo

(except for sweeping the Donks which I suspect you’ll still do)

Mr. Ayo

Brady threw away his marriage to a supermodel for this.

Just an all around brilliant guy.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m sure he’ll upgrade to a newer model by the end of the season.

Mr. Ayo

Does he dip into the 20s or does it leave that field for Leo?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My money is on late 20’s or even early 30’s. I don’t think he has the patience and/or energy to deal with another kid.

Recovery Whiskey

Let’s ask Collinsworth what he should do

Recovery Whiskey

As the cliche goes, no matter how hot she is, there’s somebody who is tired of her shit.

Mr. Ayo

I know. Brick can’t stop telling me.

Gumbygirl

Woooo Kuppdown!

Mr. Ayo

Kliff’s Kuestionable Koaching Kills

Gumbygirl

Beatie got 63 pts in Gumby’s league!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Justin Fields put up 42 for my opponent.

Recovery Whiskey

Receiver went to ground, got the yellow.

Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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2Pack

Nice Cowgirl shirt, vintage edition.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Petition to change the name of the Las Vegas Raiders to the Generals and move them to Washington.

Mr. Ayo

That team name will never work in that area.

— D. Snyder

Recovery Whiskey

Geno Smith for NFL Votes. Damn charming fellow.

King Hippo

MRSA murderball, Romo still licks Dreamboat’s taint

Fronkenshteen

Right? Hospital ball. Say goodbye to your best receiver. Hope the six yards was worth it.

Recovery Whiskey

Romo single handedly made Jordan Babineaux into Big Play Babs. Launched his career with that goal line tackle of Romo.

Gumbygirl

It’s gross.

Recovery Whiskey

Hox offense coming back down to earth.

yeah right

Did I just do the old man boogie and immediately ordered my favorite pizza?

You know me too well.

2Pack

Pictures or it didn’t happen.

Senor Weaselo

“Isn’t it supposed to be shameful though?” -K. Hippo, NC

yeah right

No shame in this pie. It’s perfection.

Senor Weaselo

Good afternoon from Union Square and HOLY SHIT THEY PULLED IT OFF!

King Hippo

Tyreek Hill’s English is about as good as his parenting.

King Hippo

Them RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! girls seem awfully nice.

2Pack

Agreed

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Mr. Ayo

Qaaron should have manifested a game winning TD.

Recovery Whiskey

Detroit Lions use of Ivermectin confirmed — Aaron R, Wisconsin

Mr. Ayo

I apologize. I really should have stuck with the Throw Rogan name.

Recovery Whiskey

Hawks coming out running because Geno’s a game manager just like Wilson

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