Well, we’ve been blessed with the 8/2 split of games this fair Sunday. Wonderful. You know, it wouldn’t be hard, at all to even out these games a bit. The intrepid viewer would have more choices and everybody would win. Easy, but no. I do love whining about this though, so there’s that.
To The Games!
Seahawks/Cards:
Geno might have himself a day here vs a very generous Arizonny pass D. They rank 23rd in air defense and give up an average of 26 points per game which is 30th in the league. The Cards saving grace is that they have converted four turnovers into scores. Also, attention/injury whore J.J. Watt is playing well.
Rams/Bucs:
Two sputtering offenses featuring disappointing qb’s do battle here. Will Tommy chew out his less-than-stellar o-line yet again? (you have to know he’s done it behind the scenes as well, right?) Will Fatthew have ‘get well’ hotdogs delivered to the injury tent? Will he get mustard on his uniform??? These are the questions that need answers. I’ve got another one also. Who do you think Brady will end up dating after the season is over? This is a dude that is very calculating regarding his public image so I’m sure it’ll be some sort of high profile celebrity. Someone in their early ’30’s perhaps? Or will he not be able to help himself and go the supermodel route again? Maybe Abigail Ratchford? (I googled ‘supermodels in their 30’s’)
I’ll take your guesses in the comments.
Just got an email survey asking me how likely I am to recommend 7-11 to a friend.
It’s fucking 7-11. Are we talking about friends who arrived directly from Mars? “You know, you should try this establishment called 7-11. Don’t be fooled by the name, they’re actually open 24-7!”
Do you need a porno magazine, a hot dog of questionable vintage, and a sugary yet slushy drink of enormous proportions?
Have I got news for you!
Your mention of “news” reminds me — 7-11 asking for word of mouth is like Christian proselytizers asking if I’ve “heard the good news.”
“Hmm? Jesus? Never heard of him. Is he the guy who works at 7-11?”
Your feelings regarding disoriented pizza delivery drivers though? Several thumbs up?
The fact you replied is what they’re after
Oh I didn’t reply. The question was in the email. I’m not sure how they got my email address in the first place, though.
Big Data
I would recommend Sheetz!
Sheetz is fine but they’re no WaWa.
When I lived in Savannah during the late 90s, there was a 7 To 11 little market that actually was only open from 7am to 11pm. It had been there for… decades? maybe, I don’t remember. Zero relation to the chain. They talked shit about the chain.
“See, me and McDonald’s got this little misunderstanding. I’m McDowell’s…”
Stafford’s either bleeding or he squeezed his jelly doughnut too hard.
“I don’t even like raspberry, but it was free so…”
-Fatthew
/at the Seahawks/Cards game
Producer: “Quick! Pan to the nine-year old girl in the stands staring at her phone!”
Camera Guy: “Sure thing, Chief.”
Nine Year Old Girl Staring at her Phone: [stares at phone]
Camera Guy: “Got it, Chief.”
Producer: “Aw yeah, that’s the good stuff!”
Hitting that key Qdemographic
These offensive penalties, like everything else in Tampa, are contagious.
Red ring of death on this Xbox Jr
If you go to Gamestop you can probably get another for like $1.50.
Deep cut.
Coby Bryant helicoptered right by him.
This is a smashing comment
I fear this comment thread might spiral out of control.
Pete Carroll teams get the stupidest penalties. Illegal formation on the kickoff.
Insurmountable lead!
Geno bailed out by zona derptitude
Kenneth got some bursteth.
If he has a speech impediment, this is a really vile/excellent comment.
More evidence Jack Tatum or Ronnie Lott could not play today’s game. Or Kam Chancellor for that matter
What if I’ve accidentally done with bourbon what the Dread Pirate Roberts did with iocane powder?
Are you mostly dead?
Ain’t nobody in the desert know the ROOLZ
Geno, you are no longer eligible for an MVP vote, much less the actual award.
This derp-off still beats LA/TB. And is more relevant.
Theres the Geno we all thought we were getting
Yaaaaaaaay, vindication!
ruh roh, putative MVP Geno
Zona trying to rewrite the rules on forward passes.
Deffo two forward passes there.
A proper USFL tribute.
Damn time change. Fuck it I’m cracking open a bottle of vino at 3 in the afternoon.
You’re late!
Although there’s a reason right now is called a present.
Ummm some of us have been drinking a LOT longer than that…
Whether you think you can or you can’t…you’re RITE
When Geno goes three and out he’s still cheaper than when Wilson does
Glad the NFL gave Brady and Rodgers Thanksgiving off so they could spend it with each other
Worst buddy movie ever
the sex was HOT tho
“Midnight Fun” got excellent reviews.
Seattle games back on, that will conclude the CFL for today.
Pam Oliver is the no-nonsense angel I need on one of my shoulders.
COME ON YOU STAMPS
I guess Fatthew’s hands were too fucking fat to feel that snap. Disgusting fat motherfucker.
B-Wagz still got it.
LMAO, they won’t even let the sad old man go for 4th and 6. He just can’t throw that far downfield.
This Stafford hate is good hustle
CFL semi is on ESPN2!
lmk if Swag Kelly plays!
Hilarity at immediately recognizing BC Place. Years of soccer’s ruined me
Roll-punt.
Hippo’s nap streak looks to end at 6 days! I am sure that is TOTES normal, and says nothing untoward about my physical and/or mental health.
It’s not too late to deploy emergency pill
SUDDEN CHANGE!
Eat shit Xbox Jr.
Nice scrappy play by Kyler
My brother is absolutely overjoyed about the Jets’ win. I am trying to absorb some of his happiness, like a vampire.
Rikki, I am genuinely befuddled by this Raiders team. Can you explain what’s going on? Why is Hunter Renfrow almost totally out of the offense? Why do they pull up and seem to quit (either early or late), most weeks?
What’s to be confused about? It’s the same old Raiders, just with fewer penalties thanks to the Patriots carryover effect (which will wear out soon). They find ways to lose games. It’s just what they do.
(except for sweeping the Donks which I suspect you’ll still do)
Brady threw away his marriage to a supermodel for this.
Just an all around brilliant guy.
I’m sure he’ll upgrade to a newer model by the end of the season.
Does he dip into the 20s or does it leave that field for Leo?
My money is on late 20’s or even early 30’s. I don’t think he has the patience and/or energy to deal with another kid.
Let’s ask Collinsworth what he should do
As the cliche goes, no matter how hot she is, there’s somebody who is tired of her shit.
I know. Brick can’t stop telling me.
Woooo Kuppdown!
Kliff’s Kuestionable Koaching Kills
Beatie got 63 pts in Gumby’s league!
Justin Fields put up 42 for my opponent.
Receiver went to ground, got the yellow.
Anyone else into The Rookie Universe? I’m looking forward to The Sophomore and The Sergeant doing battle with The Commissioner of Waterworks. His temporary alliance with The Assistant Financial Comptroller can’t last much longer.
Overbite.Over-reach is one of the villains! It’s a commission looking into the finances of the mayor’s office but extended it to Highways and Trash Collection!Nice Cowgirl shirt, vintage edition.
Petition to change the name of the Las Vegas Raiders to the Generals and move them to Washington.
That team name will never work in that area.
— D. Snyder
Geno Smith for NFL Votes. Damn charming fellow.
MRSA murderball, Romo still licks Dreamboat’s taint
Right? Hospital ball. Say goodbye to your best receiver. Hope the six yards was worth it.
Romo single handedly made Jordan Babineaux into Big Play Babs. Launched his career with that goal line tackle of Romo.
It’s gross.
Hox offense coming back down to earth.
Did I just do the old man boogie and immediately ordered my favorite pizza?
You know me too well.
Pictures or it didn’t happen.
“Isn’t it supposed to be shameful though?” -K. Hippo, NC
No shame in this pie. It’s perfection.
Good afternoon from Union Square and HOLY SHIT THEY PULLED IT OFF!
Tyreek Hill’s English is about as good as his parenting.
Them RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! girls seem awfully nice.
Agreed
End of game interview with Jets qb Wilson. As though he was primarily responsible for the win. Fuck sakes! What I’m trying to say is that more safeties should be interviewed after games.
Qaaron should have manifested a game winning TD.
Detroit Lions use of Ivermectin confirmed — Aaron R, Wisconsin
Apologies-I must have pushed the wrong button. I blame my best friend. He goes by the name of Alcohol.
I apologize. I really should have stuck with the Throw Rogan name.
Hawks coming out running because Geno’s a game manager just like Wilson