Your Mid/Late Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

Well, we’ve been blessed with the 8/2 split of games this fair Sunday. Wonderful. You know, it wouldn’t be hard, at all to even out these games a bit. The intrepid viewer would have more choices and everybody would win. Easy, but no. I do love whining about this though, so there’s that.

To The Games!

Seahawks/Cards:

Geno might have himself a day here vs a very generous Arizonny pass D. They rank 23rd in air defense and give up an average of 26 points per game which is 30th in the league. The Cards saving grace is that they have converted four turnovers into scores. Also, attention/injury whore J.J. Watt is playing well.

Rams/Bucs:

Two sputtering offenses featuring disappointing qb’s do battle here. Will Tommy chew out his less-than-stellar o-line yet again? (you have to know he’s done it behind the scenes as well, right?) Will Fatthew have ‘get well’ hotdogs delivered to the injury tent? Will he get mustard on his uniform??? These are the questions that need answers. I’ve got another one also. Who do you think Brady will end up dating after the season is over? This is a dude that is very calculating regarding his public image so I’m sure it’ll be some sort of high profile celebrity. Someone in their early ’30’s perhaps? Or will he not be able to help himself and go the supermodel route again? Maybe Abigail Ratchford? (I googled ‘supermodels in their 30’s’)

I’ll take your guesses in the comments.

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Wakezilla

Came to Vancouver to throw a bachelor party. It was a success and I’m was horribly hung over, stuck inside YVR because of the plane delays. So I’ve just been drinking Old Fashions and now I’m drunk again, watching footbaw! Life could be worse.

With that said, I’d like to get home sometime tonight

Recovery Whiskey

Exceptional result for Seattle

Recovery Whiskey

Dreamboat MRSA did it

Gumbygirl

Mc Vay should be fired for this. Into the sun.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Why can’t the Raiders put together drives like that? They’re a pirate-themed franchise too!

TheRevanchist

Brady does it again!

Recovery Whiskey

TWO MINUTE TAWMY

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Uh, yeah, sure.” – Giselse

King Hippo

OK, signing off for the night. EAT SHIT, McVAY

Mr. Ayo

There is a mandatory SNF game sir.

Recovery Whiskey

Giving Brady another chance to embarrass himself.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

SEAN MCVAY: If you don’t see anything open, don’t try to be a hero. Just eat the ball. Got it?

MATT STAFFORD: I was born for this.

King Hippo

These teams suck bad enough to deserve relegation. What a horrid game.

Mr. Ayo

At least Brady can go home to a quiet and empty house tonight and contemplate his existence.

King Hippo

quiet and empty house motel room

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“What’s that, mister bottle of strawberry wine? You want me to…drink you?”

Recovery Whiskey

Fuck you Tommy. This means the NFL is gonna go extra nice for you next week

King Hippo

they’re still blowing it

Mr. Ayo

IN. COM. PLETE!

King Hippo

try to wipe the gravy off your fat fingers so you don’t drop the snap again, you fat worthless fuckwit

King Hippo

I’m gonna need a Bob’s Burgers to cleanse my palette. Fortunately, I have like 20 in the DVR

King Hippo

Fucking OKC Bomber, fucking up yet again

Recovery Whiskey

With Seattle over time to join the Stafford hate train

Recovery Whiskey

LOL

Recovery Whiskey

And we’re visiting Munich next week. Wonders never cease

Recovery Whiskey

Zona body language says they’re beat

King Hippo

Ken-neth-Walk-er-crushed-our-soul – Qards defense

Mr. Ayo

The paltry number of games this afternoon may be disappointing, but the results are tremendous content.

Recovery Whiskey

Only Seattle fans left at the game

Game Time Decision

Kliiff’s crappy calls kills Cardinals

Mr. Ayo

I’m not mean, so I’m not downvoting this post, but you Kould have used a K on every word in this post.

I know, that’s the joke, lol, but Jesus Krist, Kommit to the bit.

Game Time Decision

Know

Wakezilla

Touchdouwn LioUns!

Just like Terry Schiavo’s husband, we can pull the plug on this game because it’s over.

Recovery Whiskey

We have about 5 rookie of the year candidates

Mr. Ayo

This is Amber Alena erasure. She deserves a shot. Well, another one.

King Hippo

Pete Carroll is as hard as when his incoming e-mail header reads “Illuminati – EXPOSED!”

Mr. Ayo

Is KW3 the greatest running back ever?

I’m not saying it, but I am hearing it.

Mr. Ayo

It’s just another bust

Didn’t realize Romo was a Sexy Friday patron.

Recovery Whiskey

Seahawks chant in the desert

ThePirateSloth

Obiwan Genobi for MVP!

Mr. Ayo

Noah tackling there!

Wakezilla

How about them LioUns? They’re wearing their gorgeous black uniforms and taking Calgary to pound town!

Recovery Whiskey

The Pete Carroll wasted time out challenge (easy)

Brick Meathook

TV COMMERCIAL 1: “Katie Porter is good for Orange County!!!”

TV COMMERCIAL 2: “Katie Porter hurts Orange County!!!”

ME: Huh? I don’t live in fucking Orange County . . .

TV COMMERCIAL 3: “Scientology! Come check us out!”

ME: (shoots TV Elvis-style)

Brick Meathook

comment image

Recovery Whiskey

This Stafford hate is hilarious btw

Recovery Whiskey

Absolutely knew Seattle would sag off and give up an easy score

yeah right

Raheem Morris decided to start doing cocaine again.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Stafford, attempting to get off the bench to come back onto the field (artist’s conception):

comment image

King Hippo

he really is such a fat fucking fatty

Recovery Whiskey

VAR taketh

ThePirateSloth

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Mr. Ayo

SUDDEN CHANGE!

Pending VAR

Horatio Cornblower

“And for the 3rd time, Stafford is sacked!”

Stafford: NOOOOOOO! Not my Boston Kremes!

yeah right

Napa valley pinot noir engaged.

Horatio Cornblower

Did you set a date yet?

yeah right

We already eloped.

Recovery Whiskey

Geno MVP train back on track

Mr. Ayo

Confirmed.

King Hippo

just when we think we’re OUT!