Cold November Rain JV NFL Open Night Thread

We are starting to run out of FULL FITBAW slates, and Hippo ain’t like it.  SavoUr these moments!

Georgia (+16) at Mississippi State (7:00, ESPN)

A night full of cowbells a-clangin.  This would also be a Trap Game, but I think these here Dawgs is immune to such (though Mizzou almost had ’em earlier in the season).

Washington (+13) at Oregon (7:00, Fox)

Were this in Seattle, it would be fascinating, but I’m still not sure I see Quack Attack as a group that lays the wood week in, week out.  Could be a tussle.

Kansas State (+2.5) at Baylor (7:00, FS1)

Unded Bill Snyders are the Kings of FS1 coverage, which is too bad – they’s an interesting squadron.  Bay-Bay is the archetype of Big Twaaaalve schizo play.  Don’t bet this game, for the love of fuck.

TCU (+7.5) at Texas (7:30, ABC)

I am very glad to be on GAMBLOR hiatus, because I would bet the fuck out of Bloodeyes’ moneyline.  They are just such the CLEARLY superior team.  As such, they will lose by 20.  That’s just how life in the 22nd century rolls, yo.

Texas A&M (+1.5) at Auburn (7:30, SECN)

Deadfookin’ last in the SEC West (and official bowl elimination) is on the line here.  War Damn Eagle’s hometown has a fun nickname – The Prettiest Little Village On the Plains.  See, you learn from these ramblings once in awhile.

Stanford (+24) at Team Secular Big Love (10:00, ESPN)

How the Sweet Jeebus Tittyfuck did these Trees beat Notre Dame?  Yeah, I get that the Domers are always overrated.  But Stanford is an absolute car crash.  Too much depth in the dregs of the PAC have led to much lower calibre tweaker offerings.  But hey, Utah at least has cute cheerleaders.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Senor Weaselo

HEY EVERYONE IT’S MAESTRO’S BIRTHDAY! (Also mine but it’s his 30th now, so he gets to be the embarrassed one and also come up with a playlist.)

BrettFavresColonoscopy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO AT LEAST ONE OF YOU

WCS

Congrats to both of yinz latest laps around the sun.

Gumbygirl

Happy Birthday! To both of you! I have to get to bed because my cat says so. Is tomorrow that game from Germany? WHO CARES, I’LL WAKE UP WHEN I WANT TO!!!

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Mr. Ayo

You two will make a great sandwich

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sup

Beerguyrob

I’ve eaten too many burgers.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yeah but they’re Canadian so they barely count.

Redshirt

We’ve gone from “What is catch?” to “What is overt?”

Beerguyrob

Why is pain?

Horatio Cornblower

Oh, also the Fightin’ Hortioettes, Netball Division, managed to squeak by Northeastern by a mere 59 points.

Horatio Cornblower

If Nike University blows its chance at the play-offs tonight, at the same time that Phil Knight turns out to have burned millions of dollars to see his candidate lose in the Oregon race for Governor, and given everything else happening today, there’s a good chance I will explode.

If this happens, know that I was fond of you.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Redshirt

Dib’s on Horatio’s stuff!

Gumbygirl

You’re probably going to have to steelcage deathmatch someone for his Whalers stuff. And isn’t there a certain flag?…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

No, I get it because I grew up near Hartford, too. Literally within 300 feet of the city limits, actually, from age 0 to 10).

Last edited 1 year ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Horatio Cornblower

Wethersfield represent!

Gumbygirl

I lived in Groton for a year.

Horatio Cornblower

Men. Oh men.

I have returned home from an epic day of Horatio goes sporting.

As you may recall, I left earlier today to watch the Fightin’ Horatios, Ice Division, (ranked #7 nationally), play local rivals Providence Community College Friars, (ranked #9), live and in person.

Providence gets out to a 3-0 lead. UConn looks like crap, but pulls 1 back at the end of the first on a power play.

During the second period UConn scores two more goals to tie the game at 3.

After scoring the first or second goal the announcer comes on to tell the crowd that the Fightin’ Horatios, Greater Footy Division, have defeated the 19th ranked Liberty Flaming Hypocrites 36-33. They are now an unfathomable 6-5 and bowl eligible for the first time since 2015. Crowd goes bananas.

Providence scores on a breakaway, goes up 4-3.

UConn scores right back, 4-4.

Towards the end of the second period UConn is hit with a major penalty for boarding. Debatable given a previous non-call when Providence did more or less the same thing to a Fightin’, but was not called. Various expletives and questions related to ancestry are hurled towards the referee. The family in front of us, with two young children, left the arena at this point.

Side note, the referee was named Potvin, bring back memories of chanting “Denis Potvin beats his wife, doo-dah, doo-dah” during Whalers-Islanders games. Truly, hockey is a sport for the refined.

Anyhoodles, Providence proceeds to score two goals. 6-4 bad guys.

During the intermission I get enough of an internet connection, (The Hartford XL Center’s wifi lacks sufficiently determined hamsters to be considered reliable), to learn that Arsenal has won 2-0 and now sits top of the Premier tables 5 points clear of Blood Oil Sex Money.

UConn plays the next 17:05 seconds like Carrie, in that they clearly do not understand how periods work and what will happen when the third one ends.

But, with 2:57 left UConn gets a face-off in the Providence end. Down 2 they pull their goalie. Which almost never works, and I fully expect it to be 7-4 within 15 seconds.

And then UConn scores. 6-5.

Face-off at center, teams battle back-and-forth, UConn gets the puck back in the Providence end with a little more than a minute to go. Goalie flies out of the net, 6th attacker is over the boards and on the attack.

Desperation hockey for both sides for the next 20-30 seconds as Providence tries to fling the puck out and UConn successfully keeps it in, but little more than that. Suddenly there is a scrum in front of the net. From where I’m sitting, (standing and screaming incoherently at this point, to be accurate), I can see the net, wide open on the keepers right side. I can also see the puck sliding towards the net on that same side. Considering that it’s a puck, with at least some momentum, skidding on ice, it takes forever to complete its journey but does in fact cross the line, with 4.58 seconds remaining.

The crowd goes insane. So much hugging and high-fiving among strangers that I may be legally married to several men right now.

Overtime, (3-on-3 in Hockey East), produces a number of breakaways and outstanding saves for both teams, but no goals. The game is officially a draw.

But we’re doing a shoot-out for the fans.

I believe we went 7 rounds of skaters, with the keepers 4-2 through 6, before UConn’s keeper made a save and Providence’s didn’t, giving UConn a 7-6 “win” in a game they never led until that last shot.

Then I went to a bar and had Guinness and lamb stew.

I am very tired, but

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Also – in case you hadn’t heard – the Democrats have retained control of the Senate.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ah. I see that you’ve heard.

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, that’s been pretty obvious for the last couple of days. I think in the old days the media would have looked at the source of the outstanding votes, did the math, and called the races no later than Thursday, but no chance that happens now.

Mr. Ayo

Jesus, just do a blog post next time

Horatio Cornblower

I thought about it as a BOTG post, but I didn’t have enough pictures.

Gumbygirl

It was very Bootsy!

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Redshirt

To think, we are one run off victory from the Democrats telling Joe Manchin to eat shit the next time he tries to sabotage one of their bills.

WCS

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Gumbygirl

I am always amazed by how quickly you come up with the perfect Simpson’s reference. It really is impressive as hell, my Yinzish darling dear!

WCS

Idiot savant, with particular emphasis on the former

Gumbygirl

Cinema too!

Redshirt

Nah, they’ll only have 51 senators, so they’ll need her. Plus, Manchin is a Republican. To quote a wise man (compared to all current Republicans) you know it, I know it, and the American people know it. He needs to pay for his powertrip.

Horatio Cornblower

They would still need one of those idiots

Gumbygirl

That’s true, I was counting Kamala for some reason ( marijuana )

Horatio Cornblower

Kamala could use some of that.

Redshirt

The whole senate could use some of that.

Horatio Cornblower

The whole Senate could use a good (deleted due to being on too many FBI lists as it is)

Redshirt

Wimp, I’m on so many FBI lists, the agency doesn’t know whether to suicide me or protect me.

Sharkbait

Way to do the right thing Nevada

Beerguyrob

I didn’t pack enough Lipitor for this free t-shirt.

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WCS

15 minutes from now (artist’s conception):

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Game Time Decision

DITKAAAAAAAAA

Redshirt

Polish Sausage

Horatio Cornblower

Man, I’ll just buy a T-shirt for $20.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Nevada Independent is calling the race for her.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I feel like I watched a baseball team walk it off.”

Sums it up perfectly.

Gumbygirl

I was really worried about this one!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Even without the House, controlling the Senate is a BIG deal. For example, imagine if in the next two years Brett Kavanaugh died from acute liver failure and someone* pushed Amy Coney Barrett in front of a bus. Without control of the Senate, they might not be able to confirm their replacements.

*who was in the clubhouse the whole time, we all saw them and are happy to testify to as much

Game Time Decision

Well there’s an election in the next 4 years, so can’t confirm anyone until all the elections are over

WCS

They already tried that two Januaries ago.

Gumbygirl

Ginny Thomas GOES TOO FAR in her dominatrixing with ole Uncle Tom, and he dies in a tragic ball gag accident!

Horatio Cornblower

From your lips to Xenu’s many ears.

Gumbygirl

You just know that man wears a gimp suit. Probably even under his judge robe.

Horatio Cornblower

All I know about him is that he has the ethical compass of an alley cat during mating season.

WCS

BEVO ARMPUNT

WCS

How does any athlete in this hemisphere not know who Michael Jordan is?

https://www.espn.com/college-football/story/_/id/35011465/lsu-harold-perkins-jordan-flu-game

scotchnaut

Al Stewart addressed this many years ago, or yesterday. Who knows?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pm6TsYypBpY&ab_channel=31323Alex

ballsofsteelandfury

I think the FOX 4K feed is better than the other networks’ 4K feeds. Everything looks crisper and smooth.

Mr. Ayo

Phrasing!

WCS

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Fronkenshteen

Breeze says: “🎶 Hellooooo!!! 🎶”

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Mr. Ayo

BOOP!