Your Second NFL Football Open Thread

You want more games? Well, I’ll give you more games-here we go!

Vikes/Bills: 

Minny certainly did a good when they traded Diggs to Buffalo for a draft pick. They used that pick to get Jefferson, a plug and play superstar receiver just like the one they let go and he’s on a rookie contract. Diggs’ arrival put the Bills O into a higher gear. Everybody won this trade.

Lions/Bears:

Potent offenses, struggling defenses-one must take the over here, I’m thinking. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a qb (Fields) turn things around so fast, ever.

Jags/Chiefs:

I play against Mahomes in the money league and I’m sceered. The Jags, who have hung 38 points on the Chargers and 27 on the Colts and Raiders might be able to keep pace for a while. That means Patty will be looking to the end zone.

Browns/Fins:

Here’s yet another potentially high-scoring tilt featuring potent O’s (Browns are 4th overall, Miami is 5th) and middling D’s (Cleveland 15th, Fins 23rd). Tyreek needs 86 yards to break the record for most after 10 games which is held by Julio.

Texans/Giants:

Hopefully the Giants hold serve this week and next week vs the Lions because after that it’s a long gauntlet of NFC East opponents. (and a light helping of the Colts)

Saints/Steelers:

What happened to Najee? It certainly seems as though it’s just a matter of time before he’s passed on the depth chart by UDFA Jaylen Warren.

Broncos/Titans:

It’s The Battle For Temporary Dominance between Hippo and Don T. Will Hippo and his pharmaceutical allies Eli Lilly and Pfizer emerge victorious? Or will Don T’s informal coalition of paper towels, intermittent electricity and wandering hurricanes bring the pain? It’ll be a slobberknocker, no doubt.

Enjoy.

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Gumbygirl

I’m here from the future: Not an advantage.

Gumbygirl

Farther in the future: Nevermind!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I can’t even appreciate Jefferson’s catch properly because I’m so irritated by the Buffalo defender trying to catch it instead of knocking it down.

Gumbygirl

Wooooooooo! But how in the hell did Cousins manage to lose that many yards falling over backwards? Is he 10 feet tall ?

Wakezilla

Justin Jefferson is a man!

King Hippo

Guys, I don’t think my Donks are very good.

The Maestro

Justin Jefferson is a freak.

King Hippo

HOLY CATS is he ever

Gumbygirl

Holeee shit, the Steelers won!

Wakezilla

Jefferson with a monster catch!

Gumbygirl

Wow!!

fleshwound_NPG

howd he fuckin catch that

ThePirateSloth

HE CAUGHT THAT

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Trent Green: Don’t worry, kid, you’ll forget about this loss one day.
Justin Fields: Really?
Trent Green: AAAAAAAAAGH THE MIRROR IS TALKING TO ME

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Bears OLine looks like they remembered to tank

fleshwound_NPG

justin fields is good. bears tank is better.comment image

ThePirateSloth

Harrison Ford for MVP of this game!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Fucking tell me about it.” – Mickey, dismayed by the failure of his efforts to ghost her

Dunstan

Huh, a Toronto sports team just won a playoff round.

Gumbygirl

Huh. Au Revoir, Alouettes!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

DOINK totally cockblocking (clamjamming?) Shan’Khor down the stretch in the Vikings game.

clint greasewood

The gifts Viking kickers give to Skank’lor is amazing.

fleshwound_NPG

justin fields vs the bears tank who ya got

The Maestro

I got the fans’ clogged arteries as the ultimate winner here

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Listen, I’m not rooting for Kirk Cousins to bite his own tongue off on the field, I’m just…wait. Yes I am.

yeah right

Ralph’s has a queso with poblano and Hatch green chilies in it. I added some of my Chile tepin to up the heat quotient then I dipped a hot and spicy pork rind in it.

Orgasmic.

That’s some serious food alchemy at work right there. DAMN!

Spur

comment image

Spur

Mom never let me play FFVI – Eli

Spur

almost drinking time!

Wakezilla

I want to thank #ThePauls for creating new content for my spank bank. My god this game is just… *chef kiss*

ThePirateSloth

I’ve always been neutral about Reggie Bush, never had any reason to hate on him nor to cheer him on.

Now I’m at full official hate with these gotdamn fucking Wendy’s ads.

Wakezilla

I think it’s great that he was able to get a job at Wendy’s

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah usually when they see “USC” on an applicant’s resume they pitch it straight in the trash.

King Hippo

Like I predicted earlier in week, McDermott refuses be sane and lean on the run game

King Hippo

there’s “competitive” and there’s “being a fucking idjit”

Spur

a real dido move

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Does Matt Stafford love pizza?” What kind of fucking question is that, Little Caesar’s?

King Hippo

ah like a pizza on top a mah pizza

Wakezilla

But does anyone like Little Caesars without being paid to like it

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I do!” – Matt Stafford

Gumbygirl

Nice catch Diggs.

fleshwound_NPG

a reminder: the bears are tanking

King Hippo

Strawberry Fields Remembers!

King Hippo

(then forgets)

fleshwound_NPG

kicker remembers the tank!

fleshwound_NPG

another reminder: the bears tank has ADD

Gatoraids

need to tell Fields taht

WCS

DALTONCEPTION

comment image

King Hippo

I could have sworn he was a Daywalker?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I misheard that pharmaceutical ad and thought they said it helps prevent or even reverse “junk damage”.

Dunstan

“Damn, there goes a great endorsement opportunity.” — John Bobbitt

ThePirateSloth

GIT YER MILTARY PROPERGANDER OUTTA MUH FOOTBALL

Gatoraids

“Believing in progress does not mean believing that any progress has yet been made.”

Dunstan

“I tried, and trust me, it’s not worth it” — Mike Vick

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, a league that wrung a bunch of money out of breast cancer victims would never stoop to something like that.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Last week: What do you expect from this Bears defense, they traded away everyone good?
This week: This Bears defense is awesome! Let’s ignore the fact Jared Goff and the Lions are horrible.

fleshwound_NPG

it is so weird seeing a competent, interesting bears offense nearly every week

fleshwound_NPG

what is NOT weird: an incompetent lions defense, leaving a tight end wide the fuck open for a td

ThePirateSloth

[Door flies open]

DAMMIT FUCK YOU TAWWMY

[Door gently closes]

TheRevanchist

From what I saw, Brady was being a pretty good ambassador for the game.

Redshirt

Honestly, other than being overly competitive and smug, he’s seems to be a nice guy. He just needs to call it a career and let the new guard take over for him.

Gatoraids

Crypto crash means hes going to keep working til they drag him off

Recovery Whiskey

He tried to deliberately kick that guy that intercepted him with such poise. You can see why he’s won so many titles. — Peter King, probably

Don T

10-7 Donks ahead. Meanwhile on the Internet, Bernard Gilkey is likely scouting his 100th Portuguese centerback.

Wakezilla

The Paul’s making the Dolphins’ run game look cromulent is such funny shit.

Wooo!

Dunstan

Meanwhile, the Pauls can’t run for shit. I haven’t seen a Chubb get stuffed like that since I uh, “surfed the web” last night!

clint greasewood

My Fantasy Football Receiver this season.
Mike Williams
Ja’Marr Chase
Jerry Juedy
Gabe Davis
George Pickens

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“That’s a huge break for the Chiefs…”

How many fucking times have I heard that?

The Maestro

Afternoon, folks. It’s a joint birthday for me and Señor Weaselo. I have spent my day lounging in bed double screening RedZone and the CFL – gonna go for a little sunset forest walk and enjoy some homemade pizza later. A perfect day here.

Don T

Happy birthday!

Game Time Decision

Hippo birdy two ewe

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Congrats on the solar rotation!

The Maestro

It’s like wearing my hockey pants around all goddamn day.

Gumbygirl

Happy Birthday! Where’s your pony and bouncy castle? YOU DESERVE A PONY AND A BOUNCY CASTLE GODDAMIT! SENOR TOO!!!