I like this sort of inter-conference type game because I can’t get a real handle on it. Perhaps they’ve played a bunch of times but it doesn’t seem like it to me. Plus, Garn Bay showed some signs of life when Dallas took them for granted and didn’t bother to cover the rookie wr. But First!
Newsy Notes
-The Gotdamn No Fun League strikes again, moving a potential snowiest Snow Bowl of all time to a neutral field in (outer) Detroit. The silver lining? Both teams will feel right at home, what with all the burned out, desiccated buildings nearby.
-Snakes Like Other Snakes: The Republicans have announced that they’ll be shutting down the House investigation of the Commies because a.) of course and b.) they can.
-Going For It: The Eagles are not taking injuries to their d-lineman lying down. Roseman has signed Linval Joseph and Ndamakong Suh, Suh, Suhddio to take the place of two starters that are out of commission.
-Laurent Duvernay-Tardif is back with the Jets, having recovered from his injury. [puts finger to earpiece] Um, sorry, that should have been, “Having finished his medical residency”, which is a sentence that I’ve never typed before.
To The Game!
Titans/Packers:
-Speaking of injuries, Tennessee will be missing three starters on defense and their kicker.
-Josh McDaniels-13-24 as a head coach-got the dreaded ‘Vote of Confidence’ from Mark Davis. Some folks swore they heard the phrase, “Brownie, you’re doing a great job!”.
-For the Gamblors out there, the Titans are a gaudy 7-2 vs the spread. Take ’em!
-Does Tanny play for a run-heavy team? His TD/INT ratio is 8/3. He would have kicked ass in the ’40’s.
-Christian Watson went off last week but all it takes is a dropped pass and he’ll be back in Sulky Qaron’s doghouse again.
-Hammer Time-Green Bay’s rush D allows almost 5 yards per carry.
Do as you will.
THIS GUY DERRICK HENRY I CALL HIM VICK’S VAPOR RUB BECAUSE HE GETS GOING WITH A FULL HEAD OF STEAM.
SPLOOSH
Enjoy the W in the Freezer league my friend
Ah, the epic decline of DA BEARS
OK, sure, DFO is probably going to be the next twitter and there’ll be a huge influx of new people here. So let’s come up with a secret code phrase that only us cool kids will know so we can feel smug.
FRG?
“Red Wings Suck Sewer Water Forever” would be a cool secret code phrase and it would always be relevant.
Rex Grossman is a God.
If someone doesn’t know who The Matron Saint is, we kick them out.
Was Rodgers always a huge assboil and we just didn’t notice, or did he used to hide it better?
Having to take orders from Mike McCarthy for so long didn’t help.
He lived in MRSA Dreamboat’s assboil shadow
He used to hide it better. I always got a douchebag vibe from him
just imagine when he hits menopause in a few years!
Naughty Lazard People!
All right, time for halftime chores!
[spends fifteen minutes petting the dog]
Mrs. Cornblower commences vacuuming in 17 minutes.
Halftime means bag change.
Colostomy or douche?
Dealers choice.
It’s like you’re right here in my living room.
I gotta yell at mine for begging for table scraps
OH SHE’S DREAMING! HER LITTLE MOUTH IS TWITCHING!
Sometimes she barks in her sleep. It’s the cutest thing ever.
My Rottweiler would start moving her legs and I swear sometimes I thought she was gonna start scooting across the hardwood floor
Whenever I bark in my sleep the cosplay gremlins come out of the sock drawer.
cosplay gremlins
It is so. fucking. adorable.
And yet when my dog is barking, growling, running in her sleep, I’m like is it a bad dream? Like is she having a nightmare?
I assume she’s barking at squirrels, which she enjoys.
Have we ever had a DFO Commentariat Pet thread?
Damn, I misread that one.
AGENT: Okay, Matt, so FTX would like to hire you to do an endorsement, but there’s a catch: you’d be paid in their own product.
MATT STAFFORD: Which is?
AGENT: Bitcoin.
MATT STAFFORD: Eh…pass. If they’re gonna pay me with store credit it’s gotta be something I actually want. What else have you got?
AGENT: Some very good news.
Oh, and he gon’ TRACTOR.
OF COURSE, Fatthew would drink an entire 2-liter Coke with his entire #ShamePizza.
Christ is that fat motherfucker ever fucking fat.
He needs that fat to protect his ligaments and such!
Hey everyone Trevor Risk might show up BE ON YOUR BEST BEHAVIOR!
Hippo, put the pills down. Scotchnaut, clean off that knife. Horatio, hide the dwarf.
You say something?
Don’t ruin this for us
Carry on, your highness!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lh67x9iDCjg&ab_channel=Crosby%2CStills%26Nash-Topic
Bong is cool right?
Uh, which knife? The Wusthof? Zwilling? Misen? You’ve got to be more specific.
I know of someone who can help…
https://twitter.com/JosiahHawthorne/status/1591466653388349443
CROATOAN
Also, Twitter seems to be trying really hard to get me to follow the Elongated Muskrat, but nawt gonna
I AM DRILLICUS
That’s awesome!
This is probably the last image I’ll post from the DFO account.
….there’s a dfo Twitter account?
there WAS!
https://twitter.com/dimeford/status/1593410832490168320
On my cruise I met a couple that works for the Democratic Party in Georgia and brought on a Satellite radio and arranged for their kids to send them text updates during the Georgia JV game on the Saturday. They had the lowdown on Herschel Walker being as dumb as a box of bricks even before all the head trauma. Apparently he wouldn’t have been eligible to play in college if he hadn’t landed between the NCAA dropping the 1.6 rule and the prop 48 rule requiring a score of at least 700 (out of 1600) on the SAT in 1986
When I worked at the Post Office, a kid who was the local high school football star, with multiple scholarship offers, turned 18 and came in to fill out his selective service paperwork. It’s an incredibly simple form. He couldn’t read it. I had to tell him exactly what to do, and his signature was something like I’ve only seen in the most impaired special ed kids. My kid, with an IQ of 160, got expelled from that school while he was in a mental hospital on a suicide watch, for
” excessive absenteeism.” Motherfuckers.
There have been a lot of people trying to make school systems better places than that. Hopefully that wouldn’t happen today although it is heartbreaking that it happened at all
I’m willing to bet that kind of thing is still happening in Camden County Georgia. One of their football coaches/ vice principals, told me that “everyone knows military families don’t care about their kids.” I wanted to rip that fuckers nuts off. They were happy to take millions in military impact money so they could build a school that they knew was way too small so they could have a stadium as nice as Valdosta’s. There were tons of
portable classrooms in a brand new school. Shameful.
🙁
Camden County GA would be Apocalypse Deliverance without the sub base at Kings Bay.
be me
Emptying the dishwasher
take the pasta strainer out
know I didn’t use it
know my dad hasn’t made pasta in years
ask my dad if he used it
he doesn’t remember
existential crisis ensues
You can use pasta strainers to strain things other than pasta
True, but he don’t cook. That thing has been in storage for Years
Maybe was used as a fun hat?
Two words: Sex. Toy.
😑😑😑😑😑😑😑
What a fun play!
4th and inches with King Henry as your rb has to be the biggest no-brainer in football land.
I misread that as “4th inch” and thought they had just showed Brett Favre taking a break from scamming welfare recipients to attend the game.
Pointless spot challenge time!
Marvin Lewis is back?!
God as my witness, I never knew el Tractorcito could fly!
Fuck sakes-I laughed out loud.*
*I snorted, tbh.
“Me too!” – Jim Irsay
Christian Watson? Is starting in BOTH leagues WOO!!
Ditto. I’d give u a fist bump but I don’t want to jinx myself
Friend of mine was telling me that this season is at a low for yards after catch, so Rodgers dumping off a bunch of passes behind the line of scrimmage goes some way towards explaining the LOLPACKERS happening this year
Already having problems uploading gifs to twitter.
Oooh, I almost never use Twitter, so I should go do a bunch of stuff to help overload the infrastructure!
Looking at May and October as potential times to start new jobs. Actually talked to someone today about an energy analytics consulting job that sounded super interesting and would be okay with interviewing me now and not having me start until May.
I hope that someone stole rodgers bike as a kid.
Possibly the stupidest of the many stupid things kids did in elementary school was to ask “what color is your bike?” and once you answered they would say “THAT’S WHAT COLOR YOUR VAGINA/PENIS IS”
His parents probably gave it away because they disliked him so much.
DFO outlasting Twitter… thats good hustle
Mosque down the street from here, friends of said mosque have just opened an Afghan resto and there is a Persian one. Brilliant.
Now that I’m funemployed I should cook stuff with the saffron I brought back from Iran
I just realized this LaFleur looks like my crazy “post wild drunken” evangelical cousin.
https://twitter.com/alexeheath/status/1593399683086327808
Well, Twitter’s about to die.
Now I will have to lurk futbol websites like teh Hippo.
Pure Hyperbole-I’ve had more than a few employees that have moved on say, “This place is going to go to pieces without me”, they’ve been very, very wrong each and every time.
Counterpoint: That’s one person leaving. This is hundreds to thousands.
Don’t get me wrong-I hope Twitter implodes but this has happened to so many companies after a takeover. We’ll have to see how it shakes out. I just thought, “Twitter is about to die” was over the top.
No such thing as an indispensable person, but there is such a thing as “combat ineffective.”
I like that if this game is boring we can just change the channel and watch Twitter burn down.
Yeah, let’s go on Twitter for the reactions to…oh, wait.
AT&T Lily does Spanish ads too!
Trust me kid, you do NOT want to QB the Cows unless you derive pleasure from having cracked ribs
[orders 3 racks of cracked ribs, derives pleasure] – Coach Reid
It’s TOTES gonna come out in a few years that these “Meta Quest” devices give one raging brain tumoUrs.
Lambo>Lambeau so far
So far?
WHERE FORT ART THOU DonT????
Burger King eating exotic fare.
Looks like there’s a ‘light smattering of snow’ which also describes Donald Trump Jr’s Sunday night.
Hippo’s vodka team IS bad enough that we started Treylon Burks WOO!!!!
I’m going to be starting something called a Skowronek!
I had considered Van Jefferson, but was overcome by the sadness
I’m sure that’s Polish for ‘pulled muscle’.
Spirit Animal Update: We both suck in Freezer Vodka and are doing very well in
monkeymoney league.Indeed! I finally have a money squadron that outperforms its peripherals. The deeper (flex for kicker sub) active player rules have helped
Yay, at least they are allowing these flurries even if no blizzard game
Don’t forget, people – you don’t have to listen to Kirk and Al. There’s a Spanish language feed.
Al “Vegetable-Free Zone” Michaels is on the mike.
Hippo’s favoUrite audio option – mute, but still with Kaylee’s excellent cheekbones.
Can Coca-Cola go bad?
I opened a relatively old (~1 year) can of cherry coke tonight and it came out much lighter than its normal color. I didn’t trust it so I poured it down the drain and am drinking box wine instead.
“They already did”
-Coke’s slave workers in Nicaruagua or wherever
If coke is like other old drugs, just do a little MOAR to ensure the same effect. TEH MOAR U NOE!!!
It was the right thing to do.
Pretty sure the Repubs are stopping the investigation to make sure the ‘Dacteds stay shitty and lose a lot in 2024 to try and flip the White House via the Redacteds Rule, even though that hasn’t held up in the last 3 presidential elections
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/[*Redacted] s_Rule
Wife made a pot roast that is absolutely godawful. She said, “I ruined it, I never said I was a good cook”. Truth be told, it was a horrible cut of meat that just couldn’t be saved-if it were a person it would be a hard-drinking, hard-smoking dude in his late ’40’s with bags under his eyes sitting at ‘his seat’ in a pub, waiting for his inevitable heart attack while complaining about the divorce he went through 15 years previous.
https://www.cnn.com/2022/11/17/tech/twitter-employees-ultimatum-deadline/index.html
Latest update from the RMS Titanic: “We’re betting the iceberg is going to swerve first!”
Didn’t we JUST watch Bay of Green play like last night? Vacation followed by unemployment (which is surprisingly busy!) has been pretty effective at destroying my sense of time, and I like it
Sorry to hear. Hang in there. I’m sure you’ll find a better job.
I’m getting 6 months salary as severance pay and I never have to go back to that shit job again, this is a fantastic outcome
Same here. I got a month’s and a far better job. When people here complain about the pay and benefits, I go “Let me tell you about my last job…”
I hear twitter is hiring lol
At this rate, we may be able to buy Twitter in a few weeks.
$12, our final (and only) offer.
You spelled ‘firing’ wrong.
Maybe they’ll fire me immediately and I’ll get free money from 2 techbros!
I mean at this point the people who are in charge of keeping employee records would probably be amenable to backdating a bunch of paperwork for a decent bribe ($1k, maybe) and making it look like you’d worked there since 2019.
Tits, Henry over 89.5 and the under. 20 gets ya 100
Henry over 89.5
Is that his mph on his TD run?
People! DFO Futbol tipping https://www.footytips.com.au/comps/DFOQ?p=futbol
Password futbol.
I will send the winner a Big Turk and an obscure futbol jersey from China.
https://youtu.be/7SgrlOzDfwI
Oh boy.
Brandon “Just Cut My Nuts Off In Solidarity Because the Broncos’ Offense Is a Gelding” Berna
Just want I want to stream after a long day at work: Tits and a huge ass.
Oof! Made it with a minute to spare. Don’t like it at all when work interferes with my DFO obligations.
“Work is the curse of the drinking class”
-O. Wilde
“Wait, Mom’s maiden name is ‘Wilde’?” – Elisha
I can highly recommend being laid off and leeching off society
Dok Remora?
Here’s a DonT favourite, to honour his Magnificent Tits!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwVwsW0XZvY