Your Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

I like this sort of inter-conference type game because I can’t get a real handle on it. Perhaps they’ve played a bunch of times but it doesn’t seem like it to me. Plus, Garn Bay showed some signs of life when Dallas took them for granted and didn’t bother to cover the rookie wr. But First!

Newsy Notes

-The Gotdamn No Fun League strikes again, moving a potential snowiest Snow Bowl of all time to a neutral field in (outer) Detroit. The silver lining? Both teams will feel right at home, what with all the burned out, desiccated buildings nearby.

-Snakes Like Other Snakes: The Republicans have announced that they’ll be shutting down the House investigation of the Commies because  a.) of course and b.) they can.

-Going For It: The Eagles are not taking injuries to their d-lineman lying down. Roseman has signed Linval Joseph and Ndamakong Suh, Suh, Suhddio to take the place of two starters that are out of commission.

-Laurent Duvernay-Tardif is back with the Jets, having recovered from his injury. [puts finger to earpiece] Um, sorry, that should have been, “Having finished his medical residency”, which is a sentence that I’ve never typed before.

To The Game!

Titans/Packers:

-Speaking of injuries, Tennessee will be missing three starters on defense and their kicker.

-Josh McDaniels-13-24 as a head coach-got the dreaded ‘Vote of Confidence’ from Mark Davis. Some folks swore they heard the phrase, “Brownie, you’re doing a great job!”.

-For the Gamblors out there, the Titans are a gaudy 7-2 vs the spread. Take ’em!

-Does Tanny play for a run-heavy team? His TD/INT ratio is 8/3. He would have kicked ass in the ’40’s.

-Christian Watson went off last week but all it takes is a dropped pass and he’ll be back in Sulky Qaron’s doghouse again.

-Hammer Time-Green Bay’s rush D allows almost 5 yards per carry.

Do as you will.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS GUY DERRICK HENRY I CALL HIM VICK’S VAPOR RUB BECAUSE HE GETS GOING WITH A FULL HEAD OF STEAM.

King Hippo

SPLOOSH

Sharkbait

Enjoy the W in the Freezer league my friend

Doktor Zymm

Ah, the epic decline of DA BEARS

herodotus450

OK, sure, DFO is probably going to be the next twitter and there’ll be a huge influx of new people here. So let’s come up with a secret code phrase that only us cool kids will know so we can feel smug.

Brocky

FRG?

litre_cola

Rex Grossman is a God.

ThePirateSloth

If someone doesn’t know who The Matron Saint is, we kick them out.

Doktor Zymm

Was Rodgers always a huge assboil and we just didn’t notice, or did he used to hide it better?

WCS

Having to take orders from Mike McCarthy for so long didn’t help.

King Hippo

He lived in MRSA Dreamboat’s assboil shadow

Brocky

He used to hide it better. I always got a douchebag vibe from him

King Hippo

just imagine when he hits menopause in a few years!

King Hippo

Naughty Lazard People!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

All right, time for halftime chores!

[spends fifteen minutes petting the dog]

WCS

Mrs. Cornblower commences vacuuming in 17 minutes.

litre_cola

Halftime means bag change.

SonOfSpam

Colostomy or douche?

litre_cola

Dealers choice.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s like you’re right here in my living room.

Brocky

I gotta yell at mine for begging for table scraps

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

OH SHE’S DREAMING! HER LITTLE MOUTH IS TWITCHING!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sometimes she barks in her sleep. It’s the cutest thing ever.

Brocky

My Rottweiler would start moving her legs and I swear sometimes I thought she was gonna start scooting across the hardwood floor

Brocky

cosplay gremlins

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ThePirateSloth

It is so. fucking. adorable.

And yet when my dog is barking, growling, running in her sleep, I’m like is it a bad dream? Like is she having a nightmare?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I assume she’s barking at squirrels, which she enjoys.

ThePirateSloth

Have we ever had a DFO Commentariat Pet thread?

Mr. Ayo

Damn, I misread that one.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

AGENT: Okay, Matt, so FTX would like to hire you to do an endorsement, but there’s a catch: you’d be paid in their own product.

MATT STAFFORD: Which is?

AGENT: Bitcoin.

MATT STAFFORD: Eh…pass. If they’re gonna pay me with store credit it’s gotta be something I actually want. What else have you got?

AGENT: Some very good news.

Last edited 2 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Brocky

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King Hippo

Oh, and he gon’ TRACTOR.

Doktor Zymm

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King Hippo

OF COURSE, Fatthew would drink an entire 2-liter Coke with his entire #ShamePizza.

Christ is that fat motherfucker ever fucking fat.

Doktor Zymm

He needs that fat to protect his ligaments and such!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hey everyone Trevor Risk might show up BE ON YOUR BEST BEHAVIOR!

Hippo, put the pills down. Scotchnaut, clean off that knife. Horatio, hide the dwarf.

WCS

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You say something?

herodotus450

Don’t ruin this for us

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Carry on, your highness!

litre_cola

Bong is cool right?

WCS

I know of someone who can help…

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Doktor Zymm

Also, Twitter seems to be trying really hard to get me to follow the Elongated Muskrat, but nawt gonna

Gatoraids

I AM DRILLICUS

Gumbygirl

That’s awesome!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This is probably the last image I’ll post from the DFO account.

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Brocky

….there’s a dfo Twitter account?

King Hippo

there WAS!

Doktor Zymm

On my cruise I met a couple that works for the Democratic Party in Georgia and brought on a Satellite radio and arranged for their kids to send them text updates during the Georgia JV game on the Saturday. They had the lowdown on Herschel Walker being as dumb as a box of bricks even before all the head trauma. Apparently he wouldn’t have been eligible to play in college if he hadn’t landed between the NCAA dropping the 1.6 rule and the prop 48 rule requiring a score of at least 700 (out of 1600) on the SAT in 1986

Gumbygirl

When I worked at the Post Office, a kid who was the local high school football star, with multiple scholarship offers, turned 18 and came in to fill out his selective service paperwork. It’s an incredibly simple form. He couldn’t read it. I had to tell him exactly what to do, and his signature was something like I’ve only seen in the most impaired special ed kids. My kid, with an IQ of 160, got expelled from that school while he was in a mental hospital on a suicide watch, for
” excessive absenteeism.” Motherfuckers.

Last edited 2 years ago by Gumbygirl
Doktor Zymm

There have been a lot of people trying to make school systems better places than that. Hopefully that wouldn’t happen today although it is heartbreaking that it happened at all

Gumbygirl

I’m willing to bet that kind of thing is still happening in Camden County Georgia. One of their football coaches/ vice principals, told me that “everyone knows military families don’t care about their kids.” I wanted to rip that fuckers nuts off. They were happy to take millions in military impact money so they could build a school that they knew was way too small so they could have a stadium as nice as Valdosta’s. There were tons of
portable classrooms in a brand new school. Shameful.

Doktor Zymm

🙁

LemonJello

Camden County GA would be Apocalypse Deliverance without the sub base at Kings Bay.

Brocky

be me

Emptying the dishwasher

take the pasta strainer out

know I didn’t use it

know my dad hasn’t made pasta in years

ask my dad if he used it

he doesn’t remember

existential crisis ensues

Doktor Zymm

You can use pasta strainers to strain things other than pasta

Brocky

True, but he don’t cook. That thing has been in storage for Years

Doktor Zymm

Maybe was used as a fun hat?

King Hippo

Two words: Sex. Toy.

Brocky

😑😑😑😑😑😑😑

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What a fun play!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I misread that as “4th inch” and thought they had just showed Brett Favre taking a break from scamming welfare recipients to attend the game.

King Hippo

Pointless spot challenge time!

Redshirt

Marvin Lewis is back?!

King Hippo

God as my witness, I never knew el Tractorcito could fly!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

*I snorted, tbh.

“Me too!” – Jim Irsay

King Hippo

Christian Watson? Is starting in BOTH leagues WOO!!

Brocky

Ditto. I’d give u a fist bump but I don’t want to jinx myself

Doktor Zymm

Friend of mine was telling me that this season is at a low for yards after catch, so Rodgers dumping off a bunch of passes behind the line of scrimmage goes some way towards explaining the LOLPACKERS happening this year

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Already having problems uploading gifs to twitter.

Doktor Zymm

Oooh, I almost never use Twitter, so I should go do a bunch of stuff to help overload the infrastructure!

Doktor Zymm

Looking at May and October as potential times to start new jobs. Actually talked to someone today about an energy analytics consulting job that sounded super interesting and would be okay with interviewing me now and not having me start until May.

Brocky

I hope that someone stole rodgers bike as a kid.

Doktor Zymm

Possibly the stupidest of the many stupid things kids did in elementary school was to ask “what color is your bike?” and once you answered they would say “THAT’S WHAT COLOR YOUR VAGINA/PENIS IS”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

His parents probably gave it away because they disliked him so much.

Gatoraids

DFO outlasting Twitter… thats good hustle

litre_cola

Mosque down the street from here, friends of said mosque have just opened an Afghan resto and there is a Persian one. Brilliant.

Doktor Zymm

Now that I’m funemployed I should cook stuff with the saffron I brought back from Iran

King Hippo

I just realized this LaFleur looks like my crazy “post wild drunken” evangelical cousin.

Redshirt
litre_cola

Now I will have to lurk futbol websites like teh Hippo.

Redshirt

Counterpoint: That’s one person leaving. This is hundreds to thousands.

BugEyedBoo

No such thing as an indispensable person, but there is such a thing as “combat ineffective.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I like that if this game is boring we can just change the channel and watch Twitter burn down.

Redshirt

Yeah, let’s go on Twitter for the reactions to…oh, wait.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

AT&T Lily does Spanish ads too!

Doktor Zymm

Trust me kid, you do NOT want to QB the Cows unless you derive pleasure from having cracked ribs

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[orders 3 racks of cracked ribs, derives pleasure] – Coach Reid

King Hippo

It’s TOTES gonna come out in a few years that these “Meta Quest” devices give one raging brain tumoUrs.

Doktor Zymm

Lambo>Lambeau so far

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So far?

King Hippo

WHERE FORT ART THOU DonT????

litre_cola

Burger King eating exotic fare.

King Hippo

Hippo’s vodka team IS bad enough that we started Treylon Burks WOO!!!!

Doktor Zymm

I’m going to be starting something called a Skowronek!

King Hippo

I had considered Van Jefferson, but was overcome by the sadness

King Hippo

Indeed! I finally have a money squadron that outperforms its peripherals. The deeper (flex for kicker sub) active player rules have helped

Doktor Zymm

Yay, at least they are allowing these flurries even if no blizzard game

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Don’t forget, people – you don’t have to listen to Kirk and Al. There’s a Spanish language feed.

King Hippo

Hippo’s favoUrite audio option – mute, but still with Kaylee’s excellent cheekbones.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Can Coca-Cola go bad?

I opened a relatively old (~1 year) can of cherry coke tonight and it came out much lighter than its normal color. I didn’t trust it so I poured it down the drain and am drinking box wine instead.

herodotus450

“They already did”
-Coke’s slave workers in Nicaruagua or wherever

WCS

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King Hippo

If coke is like other old drugs, just do a little MOAR to ensure the same effect. TEH MOAR U NOE!!!

litre_cola

It was the right thing to do.

Doktor Zymm

Pretty sure the Repubs are stopping the investigation to make sure the ‘Dacteds stay shitty and lose a lot in 2024 to try and flip the White House via the Redacteds Rule, even though that hasn’t held up in the last 3 presidential elections
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/[*Redacted] s_Rule

Redshirt

https://www.cnn.com/2022/11/17/tech/twitter-employees-ultimatum-deadline/index.html

Latest update from the RMS Titanic: “We’re betting the iceberg is going to swerve first!”

Doktor Zymm

Didn’t we JUST watch Bay of Green play like last night? Vacation followed by unemployment (which is surprisingly busy!) has been pretty effective at destroying my sense of time, and I like it

Redshirt

Sorry to hear. Hang in there. I’m sure you’ll find a better job.

Doktor Zymm

I’m getting 6 months salary as severance pay and I never have to go back to that shit job again, this is a fantastic outcome

Redshirt

Same here. I got a month’s and a far better job. When people here complain about the pay and benefits, I go “Let me tell you about my last job…”

herodotus450

I hear twitter is hiring lol

Redshirt

At this rate, we may be able to buy Twitter in a few weeks.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

$12, our final (and only) offer.

Doktor Zymm

Maybe they’ll fire me immediately and I’ll get free money from 2 techbros!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I mean at this point the people who are in charge of keeping employee records would probably be amenable to backdating a bunch of paperwork for a decent bribe ($1k, maybe) and making it look like you’d worked there since 2019.

litre_cola

Tits, Henry over 89.5 and the under. 20 gets ya 100

litre_cola

People! DFO Futbol tipping https://www.footytips.com.au/comps/DFOQ?p=futbol

Password futbol.

I will send the winner a Big Turk and an obscure futbol jersey from China.

WCS

Brandon “Just Cut My Nuts Off In Solidarity Because the Broncos’ Offense Is a Gelding” Berna

Redshirt

Just want I want to stream after a long day at work: Tits and a huge ass.

BeefReeferLives

“Work is the curse of the drinking class”
-O. Wilde

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Wait, Mom’s maiden name is ‘Wilde’?” – Elisha

Doktor Zymm

I can highly recommend being laid off and leeching off society

King Hippo

Here’s a DonT favourite, to honour his Magnificent Tits!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwVwsW0XZvY