Your Split Soccer/NFL Football Open Thread

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You know, so that the soccery types can talk about the soccer. And the footbally types can talk football-there everyone’s happier than the proverbial clam. (Where the hell did that phrase come from?, I wonder)

To The Games!

Broncos/Panthers:

Hey, Carolina is parading yet another sub-average qb out on to the field today! Sam Darnold is apparently being re-evaluated before he hits free agency but that’s pure silliness, methinks. Desperate teams do desperate things.

Bucs/Browns:

Enjoy Jacoby Brissett while you still can. The Masseuse Abuser returns next week and the length of the suspension and the workings of the schedule make everyone with a working brain roll their eyes to infinity.

Ravens/Jags:

Baltimore has won four in a row and is looking more and more like the team was supposed to look at the outset of the season. During the streak the D has given up a shade over 14 points although Lamar has not thrown for over 240 yards-it’s a team effort thingy.

Texans/Fins:

Not much to say here-Houston is re-arranging deck chairs on their sinking ship, tossing Kyle Allen into the mix. Looks like the Fins get a freebie here and will strengthen their lead in the AFC East, given that the Pats lost and the Jets have problems on O.

Bears/Jets:

Yet another team that is switching things up at the qb spot and finally, a White guy catches a break! Credit goes to Saleh, (peace be with you) he knows his D is good enough to keep him in games and there is enough raw talent on O. He just needs to find a guy to unlock it, though he doesn’t have many options.

Bengals/Titans:

Ja’Marr was practicing this week and my fantasy team in money league was hopeful but the scuttlebutt now says that he won’t be playing. Trey Burk finally got unstuck last week and plunked down 111 yards receiving. Just what the Titans have been looking for-a weapon in the passing game that can do awful damage on play-action. I don’t imagine any team would want to play them in the post-season.

Enjoy.

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The Maestro

YUGE stop by Borjan!!!

The Maestro

In completely unrelated news… the Nathan Peterman Experience is having a reunion show!!!!

(Trevor Siemian hurt in warmups.)

King Hippo

oh that will be DELIGHTFUL

Game Time Decision

I’m not used to watching mens world cup soccer and having a team to cheer for

Fronkenshteen

Currently over Canada:
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King Hippo

On our side of the pond glacier, I can’t decide whether Jenny Taft is hot or just cute.

2Pack

My vote is for cute. She needs to show more shoulder to increase hotness.

King Hippo

TRUE HIPPO STORY – I have NEVAR seen Super Troopers

Horatio Cornblower

You should remedy that right meow.

King Hippo

I still have to watch that Katla or face scotchy’s quiet disappointment

Game Time Decision

Scotchy’s quiet disappointment is code gonna get stabbed, right?

Game Time Decision

I get why they aren’t for everyone. If you like dumb humour it’s good. If not then they are 90 minutes of “that’s not funny”

King Hippo

I loved Borat but hated Dumb and Dumber. So this is a total coin flip.

Game Time Decision

I’m the other way around but find Borat annoying so that gets in the way of finding it funny

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I feel like you owe it to litre_cola to at least give it a try.

yeah right

My hometown is very, VERY Italian and Croatian and this place just exploded. I don’t even need to check the score do I?

Horatio Cornblower

The Canadian defense has fallen apart.

King Hippo

Borjan ain’t wearing his famoUs pants neither

Dunstan

Halftime can’t come soon enough

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Double oof.

The Maestro

god FUCKING DAMNIT

Horatio Cornblower

Well this is turning “The Americans have burned York” ugly now.

The Maestro

Is Luka Modric a chetnik? Well, we haven’t found anyone to disprove it just yet.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oof.

Horatio Cornblower

Credit where credit’s due, Litre called Attiba for being too slow for this game several minutes ago on the horrible bird app.

Man knows his Canadian soccer.

litre_cola

Saw it coming. Past his prime.

Game Time Decision

Pants with another save
-Litre_cola

The Maestro

fuck

Game Time Decision

Double fuck

Horatio Cornblower

“Long Into The Box: The Ballsofsteelandfury Story”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Canadian viewers after the Croatia goal was called off for offsides.

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King Hippo

Nice shoulders on that Canadia supporter just then, hope she doesn’t get be-headed for her attire choice

The Maestro

Thank fuck for offsides calls.

King Hippo

Get a 2nd and the Ustase will collapse.

Horatio Cornblower

I think the US will have a decent chance against Iran as long as their keeper can, unlike the Welsh keeper, keep from launching a flying knee strike on a defender with a clear chance at goal.

2Pack

Earlier shopping at a nearby villa. Can’t believe I’m almost done this year. I’m admiring my hustle.

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Horatio Cornblower

Canada having great success in the “dangerous area” per an announcer who has clearly never had access to this much better line:

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2Pack

There appears to be some sort of tripping contest afoot…

2Pack

Let’s go

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Horatio Cornblower

I bet she lives in Niagara Falls.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

She does! I got her phone number last night.

Game Time Decision

Mom? Wtf

Dunstan

It should also be noted that Canada just won the Davis Cup tennis final. Back in the 80s, when we were happy to have a guy crack the top 50 in singles, I never would have thought this was possible.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Did somebody say Canada? And tennis? And crack?” – Matthew Perry

Horatio Cornblower

I saw his book in the bookstore the other day. Almost bought it, but then thought about what he’d spend the royalties on and decided not to.

Horatio Cornblower

So on the Canadian goal #17 is clearly offsides, but plays no role in the goal. Is this what they mean by “passive offsides”? Because I genuinely do not know.

Game Time Decision

What is a catch?

Horatio Cornblower

As a big fan of maple syrup I can say that I have never found that it made me speed up.

Game Time Decision
The Maestro

ALPHONSO DAVIES IS BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT

Dunstan

GOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL!

litre_cola

Holy fuck.

King Hippo

FUCK CROATIA CHUH CHUH

Horatio Cornblower

OH! FUCK YES CANADA!!

Horatio Cornblower

And their apoloUgiues after are second to none.

litre_cola

Love the black kits so there’s that.

Horatio Cornblower

Do you think any of the guys on the Canadian National Team know where I could find my high school girlfriend from the Niagara Falls area?

I miss her.

Game Time Decision

I’m like 2 hours away, will go ask my buddy out there if he knows her. What’s her name?

Horatio Cornblower

Becky. I don’t know her last name though, so that probably won’t help much. Oh well, at least you tried.

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Horatio Cornblower

In 2018 Russia made an impressive and unexpected run in the World Cup. In Russia.

In 2022 several Arabic teams have impressive and unexpected wins over established powers.

Is is home field inspiration? Is it FIFA?

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Game Time Decision

Totally home field thing
/GTD’s bank account now has a deposit from “AFIF”

Horatio Cornblower

That women’s shorts do not fit and cannot possibly be comfortable.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Agreed. Here at DFO we are all about comfort. She should change into some comfortable lounge pants, and then take those off.

2Pack

Noooooo…..

King Hippo

A warm-up scalp for the Sword of Allah!

King Hippo

There are (IIRC) some playing time-based incentives for Baker, Baker, the Turnover Maker. No reason to roll out his corpse given his performance level.

Wakezilla

Knowing we could beat Belgium and seeing them currently losing to Morocco is so frustrating.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It must be. I look forward to hugging each other in sympathy after the U.S. collapses against Iran.

Horatio Cornblower

“Collapse” assumes they’ll ever get the lead.

King Hippo

ruh roh, Belch…

King Hippo

A Chuck and Buck sequel for Mike White!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Delightful.

Wakezilla

I’m currently at Khalifa International Stadium and that modesty dress rule is thankfully out the window.

All the Croatian men look like white supremacists while most of the Croatian women look absolutely incredible. Holy shit.

Wakezilla

Fun fact: It’s designed in the shape of her mouth and when you enter, a gag is heard

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I suppose I’d have to have seen more of her films to get that joke.

Better do some research.

Fronkenshteen

Lying on my bunk watching with the Telemundo feed on my Hulu app. Suddenly thought, “Let me just check FS1. Maybe they have ONE broadcast team without an American announcer.” Clicked over. First voice I hear is an American female. She says, “I have a friend in Morocco, and she said they have flags everywhere.”
Inmediatamente regresé a Telemundo.

WCS

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