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Your Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

scotchnaut

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Gack! As Bill the Cat would have said ever so eloquently back in the day. It’s week 13 already and these damn seasons seem to fly by faster and faster every year.

Newsy Notes:

-Raheem Mostert and Jeff Wilson are doing a bit of chirping regarding the relative skill levels of the opposing qb’s in the Fins/Niners tilt. Well, they would know and I don’t think they’re wrong. This adds a bit more spice to a game that I’m very much interested in seeing.

-The OBJ Team Tour continues (subject to an air steward’s whims?) and I noticed that Tre White re-jiggered his contract, freeing up 2.3 million for the Bills. Interesting. Don’t believe the Giants crap-they have no money right now.

-Von Miller is off to chase chickens on a farm upstate for a minimum of 4 weeks. He’s been placed very gently on IR. (just save him for the playoffs, I say)

-It Moved!: That’s what all my fellow fantasy fellows said when news of Ja’Marr Chase being back dropped.

To The Game!

Bills/Pats:

-Buffalo has 8 wins and seems to have leverage but no-they have Zilcho division wins to date. They are also 3-2 in their last 5.

-Good thing they’re up against a Pats team that is playing their third game in 12 days. That makes it so hard to rest their banged up players, further exposing them to more owies.

-Can’t Keep Up: During Mac Jones’ brief tenure with the Pats he is 0-8 when the opposing team scores 25 or more.

-You’d think that the Bills can put up that many even with Josh Allen reverting back to his rookie tendencies since his elbow injury. He leads the league in INT’s and is trending towards 17 which would be a career high.

-Good News or Something Else?: Pats kicker Nick Folk is tied for the league-lead in made field goals! That’s because New England gets bogged down in the red zone too often.

-If Belichick can somehow take Diggs out of the game I think the main beneficiary will be MacKenzie, not hot and cold Gabe Davis. Do I have the balls to start the former in my monkey league? No, likely not.

Do that thing.

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Mr. Ayo

Eat your heart out Brick! I didn’t use any screws for this.

https://vimeo.com/299592510

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Holy Mario Kart

0
Redshirt

Dane Cook is on the Tonight Show? Did the Flux Capacitor I built in my garage and put in my car actually work?!

5
BrettFavresColonoscopy

No, I’m not sticking around for the Google pixel post game show.

Night, you miscreants.

3
Sharkbait

I bailed for Christmas Bobs Burgers episodes.

2
Mr. Ayo

Speaking of, here’s your Christmas boobs

https://boobychristmas.com/

3
Sharkbait

Sneak preview of tomorrow?

1
Mr. Ayo

Of course not. Such excessive pornography is not allowed in our august and respected blog posts. Consider this a bonus as a loyal [DFO] subscriber that pays off every day this month.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I adore this. What a lovely idea!

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Mr. Ayo

Also, Christmas bootys

https://booty-christmas.com/

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ballsofsteelandfury

Holy crap!! Christmas came early!!

2
Redshirt

You have to give the Patriots credit. Most teams just dress up like the past teams. But the Patriots are actually playing the late 80s-early 90s Patriots. That’s dedication!

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Why am I still watching this game? Is Irving Fryar coming back?

2
Sharkbait

Did you bet on it?

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Did I bet on Irving Fryar coming back? Wouldn’t you like to know….

2
WCS

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HARF?

3
Gumbygirl

Harf harf! I went to school from 1st grade through high school with a boy named Tom Dick. He was Gumby’s roommate in college for a year before he joined the Navy.

2
BeefReeferLives

Can’t wait to see the live Gameday Special with a bunch of sorority girls waving signs with “I LOVE DICK” on them behind the sportscasters.

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Gatoraids

Tiny down

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This is how bananacakes the Group E matches were today. Every single team had some time during which – had the matches ended without anything else happening – they would have advanced.

2w3dmmoloc3a1.png
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Gatoraids

Min 70 was glorious

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Senor Weaselo

Yeah, Spain and Germany out would have been maximum bananacakes.

1
TheRevanchist

Belgium and Germany out feels wrong. But it is what it is.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I have no beef with either squadron but I absolutely love it.

1
Gatoraids

Nice Steve Grogan tribute

1
litre_cola

Herbstreit is easily the best/least annoying coloUr commentator in the NFL.

1
ArmedandHammered

I saw the Red Band trailer for cocaine bear earlier and I am so looking forward to seeing this no matter how divorced from reality it is, I mean the bear just eats a wrapped kilo of coke instead of finding a soup spoon with which to snort it?

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Gatoraids

Yayo the Bear higher than the average bear boo boo.

5
clint greasewood

I hope that bear gets an Oscar nom.

2
Gatoraids

If the bar also had a foot fetish it would be Tarantinos last movie

2
WCS

Everyone knows Warthogs and Trolls are the cokeheads of the animal kingdom.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9n40S4DY914

Last edited 3 years ago by WCS
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ThePirateSloth

It needs more “Leo gettin bear stomped”

1
ArmedandHammered

Little known fact, Leo demanded that the first bear they brought in be replaced with a younger bear, the original bear being older than 26 in bear years.

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King Hippo

The cat says I should go to sleep now. And one should always listen to Dat Pussy, chuh chuh. Y’all be good, and we know it’s NAWT FAYUH, Maestro and Sharky

4
Doktor Zymm

Sweet dreams! And maybe some tuna!

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Doktor Zymm

Mm complimentary macarons

1
scotchnaut

“We appreciate all the work you’ve done over the years-we’re just whipped egg whites, sugar and a few other ingredients but we think the world of you!”

2
ThePirateSloth

So I’ve never made it completely thru Deep Space Nine. I’m having to take some downtime from minor surgery and determined to finish the show.

I’m 9 episodes in and fuck am I already tired of how desperately thirsty everyone is for Dax. Except Sisko that is. The good doctor is the pervy-ist of the bunch. I mean yea, I absolutely had a crush on her when I was younger watching the show, but never realized how awful it was in regards to this aspect. I know she ends up with Worf though.

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Gatoraids

she was on Odo’s bucket list

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Redshirt

Yeah, his knees would turn to jelly when he’d see her.

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Doktor Zymm

If skipping a bit is best for enjoyment don’t feel guilty about it, enjoy yourself!

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ThePirateSloth

Nah, I don’t need to skip it. It’s just awfully cringe though. Like 90s “if I wear her down she’ll go out with me” boy energy.

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Redshirt

Also, it helps that they didn’t have Bashir fleshed out yet. Even his actor didn’t like him in the early seasons.

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clint greasewood

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Dunstan

Eh, she’s super hot, smart, can drink and gamble with the boys, I would have made an ass of myself too.

3
Mr. Ayo

She’s no Seven of Nine

2
BC Dick

Give me Deanna Troi any day. She’d know all the awful things you’d want to do to her before you did. And those exercise costumes. Goodness me.

3
Mr. Ayo

An excellent rebuttal.

1
Dunstan

If we’re talking TNG, I’m a Beverly Crusher man myself.

1
Redshirt

But full uniform Deanna Troi. Trekkies may hate Jellico, but I’m one of his rare supporters for getting Troi out of her casual gear and into a blue skintight uniform.

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Redshirt

In story, its because he knew her when she was a horny old man.

Also, if you are in Season 1 and 2, hang in there. Like The Next Generation, it doesn’t pick up until Season 3 and then Season 4 it hits its stride.

1
Redshirt

As the unofficial DFO Star Trek expert (by my name alone), the unofficial list of hotties is:

Jadzia Dax
Seven of Nine
Kira Nerys
B’Elanna Torres (de-spliced human duplicate)
Deanna Troi
B’Elanna Torres
Uhura (Star Trek III)
Uhura (Kelvin timeline)
T’Pol
Ezri Dax
Dr. Crusher

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ThePirateSloth

Ahem
comment image

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Redshirt

Damn it! Add her to the list in below Troi.

1
ThePirateSloth

Also:comment image

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Redshirt

Didn’t watch Discovery and shows afterwards, so those hotties are omitted. Please feel free to include those to list in appropriate spots. But if Narissa isn’t on your list, your arguments are invalid!

1
Gatoraids

Doink’lar

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Doktor Zymm

Having a fine year

0
Doktor Zymm

Did he just say that timeout strategy was not “newenglandy”? That’s the big bucks! Lol

0
Doktor Zymm

Quessenberry is a hell of a last name

0
scotchnaut

His ancestors came very close to almost barely defining the rules of boxing!

Last edited 3 years ago by scotchnaut
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Doktor Zymm

I wouldn’t mind being the Quessen of an area rather than the Queen, seems like it would have fewer responsibilities

1
Gumbygirl

I’d still demand the jewelry. And the corgis.

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scotchnaut

Allen heaves a ball towards a guy that is covered by three(!) defenders. Something is not right with the play-calling in Buffalo.

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WCS

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Comm is down.

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BC Dick

Some filthy weasel stole my credit card info and went on a spree at the Ontario science centre. The swine robbed me to go learn. Doesn’t get lower than that.

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WCS

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Doktor Zymm

Unexpected!

0
Gatoraids

Its Beakman’s World you are just living in it

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Senor Weaselo

HEY I DID NO SUCH THING! Though that sounds like something I’d do with someone else’s card…

4
litre_cola

Please tell me you noticed before they flew across the whole damn country to learn.

1
BC Dick

They stayed local. Now I get to wait for a new card. Good excuse for late Christmas presents this year though.

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Doktor Zymm

I get a $25 minibar credit with the (waived) resort fee, so going with some dark chocolate toffee ($12) and a cucumber mint ketel one vodka spritz can ($8) cucumbery!

2
King Hippo

I hope there is no pop quiz, because my attention has REALLY waned.

0
WCS

#FifthPillProblems

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King Hippo

Man, I hope I hit that during PAC-tion tomorrow, after a nice late afternoon napnodding off.

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Doktor Zymm

What if it is a quiz about what midwesterners call pop and normal people call soda?

2
Sharkbait

As a Patriots fan, but Josh Allen/Stefon Diggs owner:

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scotchnaut

“My Cause My Cleats” (were I involved) would have something to do with the complete decimation of all mosquitos.

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King Hippo

Is THAT your code word now smgdh

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scotchnaut

I’M TRYINGTO ELIMINATE MALARIA FROM THE WORLD (and more than a few railroad-riding freeloaders that have what’s coming to them, btw)

/It’s called multitasking killing, btw!

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litre_cola

Northern Ontario = Manitoba mosquitos.

2
Doktor Zymm

Where can I donate?

0
BeefReeferLives

Get into Bio-tech, if that’s your goal…

https://www.the-scientist.com/sponsored-article/combating-mosquito-borne-diseases-with-crispr-70607

0
Senor Weaselo

I forgot to mention, Madre Weaselo and I got linner from, fittingly, one of Grandpa’s favorite local restaurants, the Australian restaurant from the shopping center down the block.

(It’s Outback.)

6
King Hippo

It makes no sense, but they have maybe the best ribs I’ve ever had

1
Senor Weaselo

It didn’t, but he liked the coasters before the gout meant he couldn’t go there anymore.

1
Sharkbait

Once again Providence gets no love on the bumper shots to break, despite being closer to Foxboro

2
Gumbygirl

That used to infuriate Viva. I miss him.

0
Mr. Ayo

SAFETY DANCE!

0
ThePirateSloth

I assume we’ve seen and discussed this earlier?
https://twitter.com/AmyDashTV/status/1598446377742512129?t=PSvChc8hLtlX7BnMUfP14A&s=19

2
King Hippo

So masculine, no wonder Giselle was HAWT for him!

/but seriously, this man desperately needs intense help

3
litre_cola

Who knocked themselves out by hitting their head at a restaurant today?

Litre did. Woke up on the floor wondering what the hell happened. Oh, the ceiling in the basement is under 6 ft, completely my fault.

9
WCS

I feel like one correlates to the other.

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litre_cola

Resto manager was nice though and she is a known harpie. She could see I was wobbly and rattled. Wife had to pick me up. Car downtown in -22 weather. Will it start tomoro? no.

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scotchnaut

I mean, no one is going to blame the ceiling. It wasn’t glass and you’re a guy.

3
King Hippo

rub sum dirt on it

2
scotchnaut

Dirt=Cocaine.

4
Doktor Zymm

Haha, you nawt short!

2
litre_cola

Hang out 1 night with Gametimedecision and you will feel tiny like being in the Netherlands.

1
Doktor Zymm

I only really feel tall in southeast asia, I’m not super short, but short enough to have a good excuse for not dusting the top of the fridge

2
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Fucking low ceilings suck. Hope your heads okay now

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

My BIL is in town and we just had an outstanding dinner that was more decadent than a weekday should allow.

How’s Mac’n’cheese Jones?

2
Doktor Zymm

Despite being in New England, he has not yet attained the status of Lobster Mac

0
King Hippo

Jus’ overseein’
Bein’ all he can
With a muthafuckin’ WHIP
In his han’

0
scotchnaut

Overheard a recent hire say of a relationship with a sibling-“I’m going to take away your power to hurt me”. They did not list Facebook Post Psychology Degree on their CV.

2
ballsofsteelandfury

Say what you will about the Patriots, and God knows we have, but you’ve gotta love these retro unis. Classic!

2
scotchnaut

#GroaningforGrogan

3
Sharkbait

Pat Patriot FTMFW

2
scotchnaut

I’m a fan of Pit Pat myself.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wFUyszZvPE&ab_channel=LaserTime

2
Doktor Zymm

I’m a sucker for the throwbacks, I even dug the Steelers bumblebee unis that everyone hated

Last edited 3 years ago by Doktor Zymm
1
WCS

comment image

The 1930s were so fucked.

2
Doktor Zymm

The modern non-leather yet still frighteningly ineffective helmets kinda spoil the effect

1
Sharkbait

For a myriad of reasons

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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1
scotchnaut

“If he’d have just relaxed he could have adopted a beard.”

-Rock Hudson

1
King Hippo

The Legend of White Mac’s cause? Oath Keepers Legal Defense Fund

1
Doktor Zymm

“I prefer the Oat Keepers”
-J Elway

Last edited 3 years ago by Doktor Zymm
7
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“It is indeed extraordinary for a warrant to be executed at the home of a former president – but not in a way that affects our legal analysis or otherwise gives the judiciary license to interfere in an ongoing investigation.”

Suck it, Cannon. No, not you, Rex.

4
scotchnaut

Suck it, Cannon. Ok, fetish-wise RTD is headed into a new frontier.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIfdD191II4&ab_channel=spudtv

2
Senor Weaselo

“Suck cannon, it, I mean me.” -Ernest H., Ketchum, ID

0
scotchnaut

Bills cb is out with an oblique-is it a muscle injury or is he just being evasive?

5
Doktor Zymm

His sideeye is waning gibbous

5
WCS

Cousinfucker hoopsball plays Xavier tomorrow night. Given King of Tracksuit’s history with Cincy, but without any actual in-person experience of the rivalry, is this being billed as a big game in the area? I know it is in the Mountaineer fanbase. Curious what’s it like there, if anything.

0
Redshirt

Not really. XU’s rivalry is with UC, not Huggins, though the fans in attendance will give him a proper welcome.

1
Doktor Zymm

Bill the Cat!
I’m in St. Helena in fanciest pantsed but still rual Napa county, resting my muddy boots under a bar containing lobster spring rolls. I’ve been drinking all day, with a lunchtime nap, but in a pinky extended sort of way so it’s cool. Let’s see those rougish young men gallivanting about playing their footed ball!

3
scotchnaut

Were you gamboling or perambulating? DFO NEEDS TO KNOW!

1
Doktor Zymm

Definitely perambulating, these sorts are not quite bumptious enough to gambol with

2
WCS

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2
Doktor Zymm

Aw man, I have a similar striped navy velour tracksuit. Should have worn it instead of my layered hoodies over farm pants and boots

1
King Hippo

Brokeback’s “Cause Cleats”:

Justice 4 WACO

0
WCS

Is that a Branch Davidian thing? Tim McVeigh tried that already,

1
Doktor Zymm

I think most of the oreos in the US are made in Waco, so maybe he just wants them recongnized as a great cookie

0
Senor Weaselo

I haven’t been on today, but…

Grandpa Weaselo passed away early this morning, in his sleep. Padre, Hermana Weaselo, and I were there at his side.

I’m sure I’ll say more Wednesday night in my usual column, as I try and figure out all the words.

11
Mr. Ayo

Sorry to hear. RIP

2
scotchnaut

Damn.

1
Sharkbait

So sorry for you and your family.

2
WCS

RIP Grandpa Weaselo.

Clubhouse is always here for the Weaselo clan. Hang in there, amigo.

4
Redshirt

Sounds like a life well lived. My condolences.

3
ballsofsteelandfury

I’m so sorry, Weaselo!

I am, however, glad that he passed away peacefully in his sleep. Probably the best way to go, I would think.

3
Gumbygirl

Oh no! I’m so sorry to hear this. Take care of yourself, even though it was expected,it’s still hard to lose someone you love.

2
Gumbygirl

Where is everybody today?

images (55).jpeg
3
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

All busy touching ourselves

5
Mr. Ayo

thbbt!

I’m sick and trying to work. Just terrible efficiency stats from me today.

1
Doktor Zymm

Try to get laid off, it’s great!

3
Mr. Ayo

Company is trying sell and has me on a 2 year contract with the new owner as part of the deal.

Jokes on them when they have to fire me and still pay me.

2
Doktor Zymm

Cheers to that! I hope you get all the pay with none of the work!

2
Redshirt

Definitely not trying to give the USC Trojans food poisoning.

5
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I was out and about. Here’s an artistic interpretation of what I looked like as I was driving home while the World Cup bananacakes was occurring and my phone kept blowing up with notifications:

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