Your Early Slate of NFL Football Games Open Thread

Welcome back! That was a glorious couple of footy games yesterday, wasn’t it? Let’s try the other kind on for size.

To The Games!

Jets/Bills:

Allen played like garbage the last time these two met as New York’s zone defense befuddled him quite a bit. Against zone looks he was 11-23 with no TD’s and 2 interceptions. For all the hoopla surrounding that Jets D, they’ve not yet generated a score.

Browns/Bengals:

During their ascendance Cincy has taken care of the Steelers and Ravens but continue to have problems with Cleveland, having lost 5 straight to them. If they get over the hump today their chances of making the playoffs rise to 93%. The biggest beneficiary of Watson’s return? Amari’s target rate jumped to 43%.

Texans/Cowboys:

It’s not the kind Andy likes at Xmas time but it is a large spread-17.5 to be exact. Since Dak got back Dallas’ margin of victory has been 19 points. Does anyone dare call this impending travesty the “Battle” of Texas?

Vikes/Lions:

Please-no talk of a Hockenson revenge game-everything worked out for everyone. It’s just not a thing. The o/u is 51.5 and the last time these fellas played they were beyond that number before the beginning of the 4th. Goff is an ‘inside’ type of guy-in domes he averages 19 fantasy points, outside that total drops to 9.

Ravens/Steelers:

Huntley will likely be in for Lamar and the former ran for 72 against Pitt last year. Pickett hasn’t set the world on fire but he also hasn’t turned the ball over in four consecutive tilts. That could change though because Baltimore has generated a turnover in four straight games.

Eagles/Giants:

Warning: This might get ugly. Philly is (literally) running on all cylinders and the Giants are 26th against the rush. They’re also 2-4-1 vs teams that have a record above .500. Maybe they’ll get lucky and Philly will be looking ahead to next week’s battle against (checks the schedule) uh, Chicago?

Jags/Titans:

The King is slumping at the wrong time and so therefore the Titans are as well, having lost 3 of their last 5. This should be the old ‘get right’ game because Henry has scored 12 TD’s in his last six games vs the Jags.

That’s it-now it’s you.

 

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WCS

No tittahs for Truth.

Gatoraids

True Bisky really falling over in quarter 2

King Hippo

That’s so #ThePauls!

Redshirt

Okay, I guess Tee Higgins and Tyler Boyd are important to the Bengals’ offense after all.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I love how CBS teases that Romo will be talking about Zach Wilson so the neighborhood PTA members don’t get caught flat-footed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3L1qrisKFE

Doktor Zymm

Sinister Buffala punt!

Gatoraids

When you decide to start Huntly cuz Lamar and fields are out this week

Muttley-picture.gif
King Hippo

I started him because my alternatives were Charmslinger and a ret….Special Young Man travelling across 3 time zones.

litre_cola

I bet the Stillers, now feel shame.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

At least you didn’t stream Derek Carr.

LemonJello

The way these Giants are shitting all over the field, you’d think this game was being played in Germany.

Gatoraids

world of hurt fry guy

karlturds.jpg
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s fucking unfair that in addition to all his other gifts, Josh Allen is capable of flying for limited distances.

Doktor Zymm

Broken Pickett Fences

Game Time Decision

Out with a back injury
-NFL upstairs medical team

litre_cola

The line in this Cowboy game was 17.5 which I believe they still can achieve against the 500s

WCS

They could triple that if they want to.

King Hippo

First window is for boredom, second window is for pain.

Then…Fish and Clippers?

litre_cola

Nah Sunday night is for serving rich people overpriced Italian food and wine.

WCS

Every night at Dok’s volcano?

King Hippo

Announcing your plans is a good way to hear Lake Erie laugh

King Hippo

That Jets DL is just NASTY.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s the same thing Ed Reed’s oral hygenist said to his dentist about his gumline.

King Hippo

Smirks in ‘I haven’t been to the dentist in 20 years and I’m just fine!’ – Todd M., Venice Brach, CA

LemonJello

THIS PHILADELPHIA TEAM, I CALL THEM F-15E STRIKE EAGLES BECAUSE THEY’RE BEATING THEIR OPPONENT BY BOMBING THE SHIT OUT OF THEM!

Game Time Decision

Truthbiscut sighting

LemonJello

Is he in the local gentlemens club, trying to kiss titties?

King Hippo

(oopsie doodle)

Last edited 2 years ago by King Hippo
Game Time Decision

Watching red zone and not red tube, so while there’s lots of penetration in both, one is SFW

Doktor Zymm

Those two members of the Giants secondary will NAWT be getting dessert tonight

Doktor Zymm

ESPN Caribbean is showing a special about some 2nd rate northern European national lesser footy team that hasn’t won a world champeenship in decades instead of live nfl

BugEyedBoo

Has to be better than Colin Cowherd on your TV.

King Hippo

Estamos tiempo del Bollo!

litre_cola

Es Verdad?

King Hippo

si, senor!

blaxabbath

I just watched, I think, two plays of PHI/NYG. It took forever.

I swear, the NFL product is just all or nothing. Because if I’m not caring about Colin Cowherd commercials, I’m definitely going to need more action between these ads.

_______

Dan Snyder: “GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! BUY A COMMANDERS HAT!”

Doktor Zymm

Oh damn, good for you Jameson Williams!

litre_cola

So it is isn’t the island of Db Moreau?

Doktor Zymm

C’mon premium internet hampster, I didn’t pay $29 just for you to have a heart attack before even logging me in to SlingTV, you still got a lot of running to do to power RedZone so shake a leg!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Poor Jets receiver was a victim of a DOUBLE SHOT to the head.

Spur

Its the Meadowlands way

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[chuckles] – Jimmy Hoffa’s ghost

Doktor Zymm

Samoa with the try!

There are a couple of Australian women onboard who are AFL fans, one for Hawthorn and one for Melbourne

King Hippo

I’m sure I’m sorry about blowing our potential Monkey League Owl matchup. You keep kicking ass, though!

King Hippo

I only have two modes – (i) crippling slow start; or (ii) wheels come off late.

King Hippo

Hooray, Iggles score in a non-Hurts fashion!

Spur

and Dallas just gave Houston a gift…..dumbass team

Game Time Decision

Well, they ARE America’s team

litre_cola

Top O the morning to you gang.

King Hippo

My fantasy ass is getting kicked. You?

litre_cola

Oh I will not make a single playoff this year! Who do I give the stinkeye to? Russ, J Williams, Sutton and Jeudy sprinkled liberally on each team…

Last edited 2 years ago by litre_cola
litre_cola

This is the 3rd year of the TWBS lge and I have never made the ‘offs. Shitty Vodka and Big Turk at the ready for an unlucky soul.

King Hippo

I am starting fucking Evan Engram in both leagues, a microcosm if ever there was one.

Doktor Zymm

Vodka league is nuts this year, only Balls has clinched a playoff spot

Spur

Morning Folks

Doktor Zymm

Ooh, new Zealand v Samoa rugby 7s is a FLOOD GAME!

Doktor Zymm

Looks like neither ESPN Caribbean has football on, nor does Sky Sports, and Sport 24 is experiencing technical difficulties, so looks like I will pay for the premium internet for today and stream redzone

Doktor Zymm

Oh wait, now sport24 has a mastercard commercial! Any commercial could be part of football!

Doktor Zymm

Better, rugby 7s!

King Hippo

All your swarthy muscle-men are belong to DOK!!!

King Hippo

Did Hanson have TOO MUCH beak this morning? That’s a definite MAYBE

Gatoraids

he gets excited anytime he gets close to an octobox

King Hippo

Like Marc Trestman and a middle school playground!

Gatoraids

And now another Chris Hansen gets worked up

litre_cola

He is a big Cowboys fan.

Game Time Decision

Just occurred to me that it’s 2 weeks until Xmas. Yikes. So much to do, so little time. And I’m lazy, so don’t want do to anything

King Hippo

Here come the Donks again
Trippin’ on they dicks like a tragedy…

King Hippo

Makin’ Rikki laugh
For a birthday preseeeeennnnt

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I think Harry Kane maxed out my schadenfreude-o-meter.

King Hippo

Would y’all gamble with the upside of Rachaad White (tough defense, plus Horny Fourny is x-factor) over the plodding 8-10 points one will get from Latavius Murray (may run a little more against the Chefs)?

I mean, I am gonna lose anyway, but agonizing over this lovely choice.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You think Latavius is going to get any more carries after the first quarter ends with the Broncos down 21-0?

Doktor Zymm

If you think you are gonna lose, that is the time to GAMBOOOOOL

King Hippo

#SecondPill be all liek, it’s TIME, motherfucker

yeah right

Do they have butter?

ArmedandHammered

By Morrigan, I do so love butterscotch, especially on ice cream.

Dunstan

I’m not a big butterscotch fan, but I did make some peanut butter marshmallow butterscotch treats that are usually pretty popular.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Pretty sure all they sell is tape.

Game Time Decision

LCBO where payment is apparently optional

King Hippo

Trade ’em for some smokes, eh?

Doktor Zymm

I have a board game about scotch, I will bring it to next DFOCon

Dunstan

I must know! I have games about wine (Viticulture) and beer (Heaven and Ale), but nothing about whisky unless you count Isle of Skye where it’s just one scoring component.

Doktor Zymm

I got it off ebay back in the early 2000s, don’t see anything about it online. Will take a picture when I get home

Redshirt

As much as I would like the Bengals revenge upon the Browns to be like Rambo’s revenge against the Vietnamese Army in First Blood 2, or William Wallace’s revenge against the Scottish Nobles, I am willing to accept Number Johnny Five’s revenge against Oscar and his goons in Short Circuit 2.

yeah right

Williams is due for a big game.

Doktor Zymm

There are two little old ladies a few tables over playing a VERY contentious game of Uno.

Turns out I am quite happy being surrounded by people with an average age around 70. Talked to a woman yesterday whose parents both worked on the Avro Arrow. Her mother did the ballistics calculations for the Sparrow, and becam an early computer programmer when the Arrow project was canceled

Game Time Decision

Wish the Arrow made it into production. Have always like the look of them.

Doktor Zymm

Delta wing!

Game Time Decision

Second only to the chicken wing in overall wing rankings

litre_cola

Winnipeg’s own!

Doktor Zymm

I was surprised that it was canceled in the name of “reining in liberal spending”. I didn’t think conservatives EVER cut military spending.

2Pack

You normally get a bit of depth with that crowd, some history as you have seen. Missing in younger people, many of whom think they know much more than they do. Youth is wasted on the young.

2Pack

proof of that (and get off my lawn!)

me.jpg
Last edited 2 years ago by 2Pack
yeah right

A story rarely shared: my Ma won awards and cash for her work on the Phoenix and Sidewinder missiles. She worked in the “Fuse” department at the Naval Weapons Center in China Lake California.
AKA The story of my childhood upbringing

King Hippo

Fuck, do I ever love this cover:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REfPPpGIzDI

ArmedandHammered

Those eyes have seen things, eldritch horrors clawing their way into our reality, ships burning off the shoulders of Orion, the devastation of cities bombed to rubble, fields covered by bodies contorted by the death throes of plague, the stick like victims of famine as they shuffle through the woods desperate for anything to eat, and the futility of Brown’s fandom.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So many little disappointments during my birthday week (Raiders, Celtics, cracked phone screen, it’s raining, Team Galactic…). I actually just can’t wait for it to be over.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfEuVIlwglA

Redshirt

(Breaking News about a new Leap Day being announced in five…four…)

WCS

comment image

Game Time Decision

It’s cold out there campers

Doktor Zymm

So instead of happy birthday, I wish you a rapid birthday

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[gets bitten by a raccoon]

Fuck. I think the universe misheard you.

Game Time Decision

Happy birthday RTD
May the vacuuming be brief and the drinks be plentiful

yeah right

The worst part about the rain is it’s raining but not hard enough. It’s just an annoyance without doing any real good.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It rained a LOT last night. Accumulated a couple inches in the buckets I had out.

King Hippo

Always gets my spirits up, as I await Spam destroying my FF dreemz.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yN-EZW0Plsg

Redshirt

If the Bengals can beat the Chiefs, but cannot beat the Browns. Does that mean the Browns are better than the Chiefs?

King Hippo

The Transitive Property is the ultimate Bitch Goddess, magical pony

Horatio Cornblower

We really need a “where are they now” on that poor kid.

Doktor Zymm

I’m pretty sure this is an “identity concealed to protect the innocent” type situation

Doktor Zymm

Just placed 3rd in trivia and now just about to start a martini tasting. Then maybe will go get some pizza before the games start, woo Sunday at sea!

Doktor Zymm

Going with a mozzarella sandwich, hazelnut mousse, and glass of champagne for First Lunch

ArmedandHammered

I hate you right now.

Doktor Zymm

I can mail you a sandwich!

ArmedandHammered

But not the mousse?

Doktor Zymm

A mousse once bit my sister…

ArmedandHammered

Did she get bitter?

Game Time Decision

First lunch
Thats how you know someone’s a cruise veteran

Doktor Zymm

Or a hobbit

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The banner image is one of my most favoritest images of all tlme, and the inspiration for one of my proudest creations here.

https://doorfliesopen.com/2016/09/10/one-more-down/

WCS

What’s amazing (and horrifying) is this was the before 0-16.

Redshirt

(puts on mask; in Bane-voice)

“Oh, you think Sadness is your ally? But you merely adopted the derp. I was bred in it. Moulded by it. I didn’t see the playoffs until I was already a man, but then it was nothing to me but BLINDING!

The Sadness betrays you because they belong to me!”

WCS

It’s a Jackson Pollock painting that wished to be a living person.

King Hippo

but what if it COULD??

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