Welcome back! That was a glorious couple of footy games yesterday, wasn’t it? Let’s try the other kind on for size.
To The Games!
Jets/Bills:
Allen played like garbage the last time these two met as New York’s zone defense befuddled him quite a bit. Against zone looks he was 11-23 with no TD’s and 2 interceptions. For all the hoopla surrounding that Jets D, they’ve not yet generated a score.
Browns/Bengals:
During their ascendance Cincy has taken care of the Steelers and Ravens but continue to have problems with Cleveland, having lost 5 straight to them. If they get over the hump today their chances of making the playoffs rise to 93%. The biggest beneficiary of Watson’s return? Amari’s target rate jumped to 43%.
Texans/Cowboys:
It’s not the kind Andy likes at Xmas time but it is a large spread-17.5 to be exact. Since Dak got back Dallas’ margin of victory has been 19 points. Does anyone dare call this impending travesty the “Battle” of Texas?
Vikes/Lions:
Please-no talk of a Hockenson revenge game-everything worked out for everyone. It’s just not a thing. The o/u is 51.5 and the last time these fellas played they were beyond that number before the beginning of the 4th. Goff is an ‘inside’ type of guy-in domes he averages 19 fantasy points, outside that total drops to 9.
Ravens/Steelers:
Huntley will likely be in for Lamar and the former ran for 72 against Pitt last year. Pickett hasn’t set the world on fire but he also hasn’t turned the ball over in four consecutive tilts. That could change though because Baltimore has generated a turnover in four straight games.
Eagles/Giants:
Warning: This might get ugly. Philly is (literally) running on all cylinders and the Giants are 26th against the rush. They’re also 2-4-1 vs teams that have a record above .500. Maybe they’ll get lucky and Philly will be looking ahead to next week’s battle against (checks the schedule) uh, Chicago?
Jags/Titans:
The King is slumping at the wrong time and so therefore the Titans are as well, having lost 3 of their last 5. This should be the old ‘get right’ game because Henry has scored 12 TD’s in his last six games vs the Jags.
That’s it-now it’s you.
No tittahs for Truth.
True Bisky really falling over in quarter 2
That’s so #ThePauls!
Okay, I guess Tee Higgins and Tyler Boyd are important to the Bengals’ offense after all.
I love how CBS teases that Romo will be talking about Zach Wilson so the neighborhood PTA members don’t get caught flat-footed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3L1qrisKFE
Sinister Buffala punt!
When you decide to start Huntly cuz Lamar and fields are out this week
I started him because my alternatives were Charmslinger and a ret….Special Young Man travelling across 3 time zones.
I bet the Stillers, now feel shame.
At least you didn’t stream Derek Carr.
The way these Giants are shitting all over the field, you’d think this game was being played in Germany.
world of hurt fry guy
It’s fucking unfair that in addition to all his other gifts, Josh Allen is capable of flying for limited distances.
Broken Pickett Fences
Out with a back injury
-NFL upstairs medical team
The line in this Cowboy game was 17.5 which I believe they still can achieve against the 500s
They could triple that if they want to.
First window is for boredom, second window is for pain.
Then…Fish and Clippers?
Nah Sunday night is for serving rich people overpriced Italian food and wine.
Every night at Dok’s volcano?
I was told there’d be scoring in the Jets/Bill and Browns/Bengals games. I’ve been misinformed.
Announcing your plans is a good way to hear Lake Erie laugh
That Jets DL is just NASTY.
That’s the same thing Ed Reed’s oral hygenist said to his dentist about his gumline.
Smirks in ‘I haven’t been to the dentist in 20 years and I’m just fine!’ – Todd M., Venice Brach, CA
THIS PHILADELPHIA TEAM, I CALL THEM F-15E STRIKE EAGLES BECAUSE THEY’RE BEATING THEIR OPPONENT BY BOMBING THE SHIT OUT OF THEM!
Truthbiscut sighting
Is he in the local gentlemens club, trying to kiss titties?
(oopsie doodle)
Watching red zone and not red tube, so while there’s lots of penetration in both, one is SFW
Confident Much? Philly goes for it on 4th and 7 and scores a TD.
Those two members of the Giants secondary will NAWT be getting dessert tonight
ESPN Caribbean is showing a special about some 2nd rate northern European national lesser footy team that hasn’t won a world champeenship in decades instead of live nfl
Has to be better than Colin Cowherd on your TV.
Estamos tiempo del Bollo!
Es Verdad?
si, senor!
I just watched, I think, two plays of PHI/NYG. It took forever.
I swear, the NFL product is just all or nothing. Because if I’m not caring about Colin Cowherd commercials, I’m definitely going to need more action between these ads.
_______
Dan Snyder: “GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! BUY A COMMANDERS HAT!”
Oh damn, good for you Jameson Williams!
Giants cb Moreau is having all kinds of problems with A.J. Brown and the 1st quarter is just ending.
So it is isn’t the island of Db Moreau?
He’s barely an isthmus right now.
/I don’t think that makes any sense at all
C’mon premium internet hampster, I didn’t pay $29 just for you to have a heart attack before even logging me in to SlingTV, you still got a lot of running to do to power RedZone so shake a leg!
“I’m not sharing any coke, if that’s what you’re asking.”
-C. Hansen
Poor Jets receiver was a victim of a DOUBLE SHOT to the head.
Its the Meadowlands way
[chuckles] – Jimmy Hoffa’s ghost
Samoa with the try!
There are a couple of Australian women onboard who are AFL fans, one for Hawthorn and one for Melbourne
Well, if Philly has to score it may as well be Sanders, who I have in
monkeymoney league.I’m sure I’m sorry about blowing our potential Monkey League Owl matchup. You keep kicking ass, though!
Things have fallen my way for the first time in what feels like years.
I only have two modes – (i) crippling slow start; or (ii) wheels come off late.
Hooray, Iggles score in a non-Hurts fashion!
and Dallas just gave Houston a gift…..dumbass team
Well, they ARE America’s team
Top O the morning to you gang.
My fantasy ass is getting kicked. You?
Oh I will not make a single playoff this year! Who do I give the stinkeye to? Russ, J Williams, Sutton and Jeudy sprinkled liberally on each team…
This is the 3rd year of the TWBS lge and I have never made the ‘offs. Shitty Vodka and Big Turk at the ready for an unlucky soul.
I am starting fucking Evan Engram in both leagues, a microcosm if ever there was one.
Vodka league is nuts this year, only Balls has clinched a playoff spot
There was scotch at The Scotch Store.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxoNhqmEsnY&ab_channel=AdultSwim
Morning Folks
Ooh, new Zealand v Samoa rugby 7s is a FLOOD GAME!
Looks like neither ESPN Caribbean has football on, nor does Sky Sports, and Sport 24 is experiencing technical difficulties, so looks like I will pay for the premium internet for today and stream redzone
Oh wait, now sport24 has a mastercard commercial! Any commercial could be part of football!
Better, rugby 7s!
All your swarthy muscle-men are belong to DOK!!!
Did Hanson have TOO MUCH beak this morning? That’s a definite MAYBE
he gets excited anytime he gets close to an octobox
Like Marc Trestman and a middle school playground!
And now another Chris Hansen gets worked up
Can’t believe she’s still in the news, never mind playing football.
He is a big Cowboys fan.
Just occurred to me that it’s 2 weeks until Xmas. Yikes. So much to do, so little time. And I’m lazy, so don’t want do to anything
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pohZ0dqaP64
Here come the Donks again
Trippin’ on they dicks like a tragedy…
Makin’ Rikki laugh
For a birthday preseeeeennnnt
I think Harry Kane maxed out my schadenfreude-o-meter.
Would y’all gamble with the upside of Rachaad White (tough defense, plus Horny Fourny is x-factor) over the plodding 8-10 points one will get from Latavius Murray (may run a little more against the Chefs)?
I mean, I am gonna lose anyway, but agonizing over this lovely choice.
You think Latavius is going to get any more carries after the first quarter ends with the Broncos down 21-0?
If you think you are gonna lose, that is the time to GAMBOOOOOL
#SecondPill be all liek, it’s TIME, motherfucker
I’m off to The Scotch Store. I hope they have some scotch there.
Do they have butter?
By Morrigan, I do so love butterscotch, especially on ice cream.
I’m not a big butterscotch fan, but I did make some peanut butter marshmallow butterscotch treats that are usually pretty popular.
Pretty sure all they sell is tape.
LCBO where payment is apparently optional
Trade ’em for some smokes, eh?
I have a board game about scotch, I will bring it to next DFOCon
I must know! I have games about wine (Viticulture) and beer (Heaven and Ale), but nothing about whisky unless you count Isle of Skye where it’s just one scoring component.
I got it off ebay back in the early 2000s, don’t see anything about it online. Will take a picture when I get home
As much as I would like the Bengals revenge upon the Browns to be like Rambo’s revenge against the Vietnamese Army in First Blood 2, or William Wallace’s revenge against the Scottish Nobles, I am willing to accept Number Johnny Five’s revenge against Oscar and his goons in Short Circuit 2.
Devin Singletary or Mike Williams in the flex spot?
Williams is due for a big game.
There are two little old ladies a few tables over playing a VERY contentious game of Uno.
Turns out I am quite happy being surrounded by people with an average age around 70. Talked to a woman yesterday whose parents both worked on the Avro Arrow. Her mother did the ballistics calculations for the Sparrow, and becam an early computer programmer when the Arrow project was canceled
Wish the Arrow made it into production. Have always like the look of them.
Delta wing!
Second only to the chicken wing in overall wing rankings
Winnipeg’s own!
Diefenbaker ordering the planes to be taken apart and sold for scrap metal was an extraordinarily petty thing to do. As for it’s viability, engineers that left that program eventually contributed to NASA’s space program and the development of the Concorde.
I was surprised that it was canceled in the name of “reining in liberal spending”. I didn’t think conservatives EVER cut military spending.
The Liberal Party had been in power for over two decades and the new Prime Minister seemed determined to put his own stamp on the country. Also, Canada was a different kind of cat back then.
You normally get a bit of depth with that crowd, some history as you have seen. Missing in younger people, many of whom think they know much more than they do. Youth is wasted on the young.
proof of that (and get off my lawn!)
A story rarely shared: my Ma won awards and cash for her work on the Phoenix and Sidewinder missiles. She worked in the “Fuse” department at the Naval Weapons Center in China Lake California.
AKA The story of my childhood upbringing
Fuck, do I ever love this cover:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REfPPpGIzDI
Those eyes have seen things, eldritch horrors clawing their way into our reality, ships burning off the shoulders of Orion, the devastation of cities bombed to rubble, fields covered by bodies contorted by the death throes of plague, the stick like victims of famine as they shuffle through the woods desperate for anything to eat, and the futility of Brown’s fandom.
So many little disappointments during my birthday week (Raiders, Celtics, cracked phone screen, it’s raining, Team Galactic…). I actually just can’t wait for it to be over.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfEuVIlwglA
(Breaking News about a new Leap Day being announced in five…four…)
It’s cold out there campers
So instead of happy birthday, I wish you a rapid birthday
[gets bitten by a raccoon]
Fuck. I think the universe misheard you.
Happy birthday RTD
May the vacuuming be brief and the drinks be plentiful
The worst part about the rain is it’s raining but not hard enough. It’s just an annoyance without doing any real good.
It rained a LOT last night. Accumulated a couple inches in the buckets I had out.
Always gets my spirits up, as I await Spam destroying my FF dreemz.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yN-EZW0Plsg
If the Bengals can beat the Chiefs, but cannot beat the Browns. Does that mean the Browns are better than the Chiefs?
The Transitive Property is the ultimate Bitch Goddess, magical pony
We really need a “where are they now” on that poor kid.
I’m pretty sure this is an “identity concealed to protect the innocent” type situation
Just placed 3rd in trivia and now just about to start a martini tasting. Then maybe will go get some pizza before the games start, woo Sunday at sea!
Going with a mozzarella sandwich, hazelnut mousse, and glass of champagne for First Lunch
I hate you right now.
I can mail you a sandwich!
But not the mousse?
A mousse once bit my sister…
Did she get bitter?
First lunch
Thats how you know someone’s a cruise veteran
Or a hobbit
The banner image is one of my most favoritest images of all tlme, and the inspiration for one of my proudest creations here.
https://doorfliesopen.com/2016/09/10/one-more-down/
What’s amazing (and horrifying) is this was the before 0-16.
(puts on mask; in Bane-voice)
“Oh, you think Sadness is your ally? But you merely adopted the derp. I was bred in it. Moulded by it. I didn’t see the playoffs until I was already a man, but then it was nothing to me but BLINDING!
The Sadness betrays you because they belong to me!”
God, I love that pic so much.
It’s a Jackson Pollock painting that wished to be a living person.
but what if it COULD??
Someone needs to turn it into a painting,
https://twitter.com/eighteenyards/status/1114968965397323778?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1114968965397323778%7Ctwgr%5Eed065cbba852d3824a3720cf5006636c4044b39a%7Ctwcon%5Es1_&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fd-42294195402871636361.ampproject.net%2F2211250451000%2Fframe.html
Was already done, ages ago