Let’s go back, Jack, and do it again.
To The Games!
Chiefs/Broncos:
The talk of Pacheco has finally become real for fantasy folks-he’s at 15+ touches and is averaging 5.1 ypc in a potent offense. K.C. has their mojo working against Denver for sure, they’ve won 13 straight. How the Broncos will stay in this game with Sutton out, Wilson and Jeudy underperforming and a mess of Hinton, Virgil and Johnson playing wr is anyone’s guess. On the bright side the Broncos have the 2nd-best red zone defense, allowing a TD only 32% of the time.
Bucs/Niners:
Purdy Mouth is the very first Mr. Irrelevant to start a game at qb in the entire NFL. As you may have suspected, Brady has never lost to a qb making his first start. The Bucs secondary has only 2 picks the entire season and they could double that number today.
Panthers/Seahawks:
Combined, Carolina’s qb’s this season have a 22.1 QBR which is a filthy (and not in a good way) number. I’d say the odds of Darnold throwing an INT are pretty good given that Seattle has 21 takeaways so far. Should the Seahawks take care of business today their odds of making the playoffs jump to 88%. Thanks NFC South for not showing up! Geno continues his much-better-than-anticipated play. How does he do it? By zeroing in on his two most talented wr’s and ignoring everyone else. Both Metcalf and Lockett have target shares in excess of 25%. Meanwhile the 3rd wr and the tight end sing, “We are spirits in the material world”.
Have at it.
Let Russ Die?
I know everyone but me hates the guy, but he has bollocks. No ifs, ands, or buts.
Wilson ded?
Charmslinger has a back owie.
Shit, that’s a Charming lower back tweaking.
Third Street Tunnel
last night
No, fuck the “more competitive game” goddammit. Does Fox not understand that Niners fans are happy and everybody else wants to see Tawmmy eat it hard?
I was thinking the same thing. I’d rather watch my cat take a nap than watch a Panthers game.
So…who owes me the birthday wish, and what day can I collect it?
HI I’M MARK DAVIS AND YOU GET TO MY TONIGHT GIRLFRIEND FOR YOUR NEW CALE DAY
Awaiting for approval?
Not really. I would settle for validation.
I yearn solely for benign tolerance
But all we get is cold indifference. The world is a cruel and unforgiving mistress.
Normally mistresses are warm, soft and welcoming.
I enjoyed the brief Donks Prague Spring
But what a quarter!
My snack before going bed (lately these days) is a toasted bagel with butter and peanut butter and a large glass of milk with an ice cube in it. I’ve not been sleeping well lately but I refuse to see a correlation.
I chew 2 hydrocodones and a tramadol and wake up 48 hours later
Oh I approve of that!
AS DOES HIPPO
And a pack of bootleg smokes?
Ditch the ice.
Whoa. Pure, undiluted milk? You’re a braver man than I, Don T.
He kegel-caught it!
I wish I cared enough about Tom Brady to want to see him benched two minutes into the second half in front of his friends and family. I’m happy to burn a birthday wish on it if someone is willing to trade me a birthday wish to be named later.
Oh shit! Did I just burn my birthday wish on wishing that I cared enough about it?
[tests feelings]
No. No I did not.
WOOP WOOP
Let Tom Cook (the Crypto Books)
Did I just do the “in-com-PLETE?”
F-I-F
This Papa Murphy’s take and bake pizza seems dumb to me. Cooked Pizza prices but you have to take it home and undercook it in your standard oven?
We had one close to us a while back, and what made it a choice for us was that the ingredients were better than most pizza places, and hot out of your oven they were really good. We were a special case, though, because when we first moved out here to the sticks we didn’t have pizza delivery.
I live pretty damn urban and there is at least a half a dozen spots in our environs that are “good” pizza, and 3 that are superb. This place just opened right in the middle of it all. Quite odd.
Higher trade value? Trey Lance, Jordan Love, or Zack Wilson?
Jordan Love.
Probably Love
Love, Lance, PTBNL, Wilson
“What a coincidence, I love lances too! Not as much as a good halberd, but if your character is a 3rd level cavalier or higher you really can’t find a better weapon.” – Hunter Renfrow
Reports are Mike White went to the hospital after the game. Not sure if a pulverized rib cage knits itself back together or if it just dries as the powder that was bones settle, but I guess we’ll find out.
I assume it was so they could remove all those dogs that somehow got inside his chest cavity.
Wooo, Purdy. Turns out he’s MR.
RELEVANT!
Baby Shanny has an absolute voodoo sense for finding competent QB depth. It’s eerie as fuck.
“I’ve heard good things about his mouth. Is it true?”
-Lindsey Graham
7th Round Mr. Irrelevant > 6th Round No Name Project
What happened in Denver?
Seems like the Chefs took their foot off the gas.
“A dumb white male dude went on a killing spree. There were several victims, most of them female. [shrugs shoulders] What can you do?”
-Claire The Clairvoyante
finally adjusted the nanobubbles for elevation
https://twitter.com/CincyProblems/status/1602069137974599680?cxt=HHwWgIC9qZLZ2LssAAAA
If he played with a broken wrist without a cast, why can’t he play with a broken wrist WITH a cast?
Thay don’t want him clubbing people?
Gonna go down a bit early for eating some omakase, no deebo is sad making
Me thinks Brady is washed.
The SeaTruthers are really just the Diet Vikings.
Emaciated Danes has a decent ring to it
Well shit
Nooo, live deebo, live!
yeah, that’s a very bad thing for Tomsulas (and neutrals who just like good footy)
Is there anything fans love more than cheering for a player whose name is phonetically similar to “boo”?
Loooooong vooooooweeeeels
There really are very few things that are uniquely (north) American but football really is one of them.
Is lacrosse another one?
Probably, but I’m not sure it’s televised enough to count. I feel like it doesn’t befuddle Europeans in the same way
By God that’s the Gametimedecision signal!!!!
It’s getting to be much more international now, but its basically US vs Can for gold. Everyone else trying for bronze
jazz
eight bar blues
rock & roll
moon rocks
sushi
waffle house
nuclear war
cheese in aerosol cans
trailer hitch fake nutz
the internet
funny cartoons
I love a nice Brady Beatdown on a rainy day!
In front of all his friends and family!
“Friends? Family? I wish to learn about your strange ways.”
-Aaron Rodgers’ great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather.
Also on a snowy day, or a windy day, or a sunny day!
Donks D is pretty good, wonder what the problem has been.
not enough Jesus.
Iggles and Tomsulas are your besties. You can have the field.
Is it time for a Weekly Hippo Wellness Check?
#FourthPill stil in the holster, Footy Manager is calming
That was mighty Purdy!
Russ rhymes with pus. Ppl forget that
Also, Buccs rhymes with sucks and fucks and mucks
And cuss! Don’t forget cuss!
I think the Iggles are the only playoff clinch thusfar
Hells yeah!
That was a Purdy touchdown
Keep feeding Deebo pls. Or Aiyuk
What the heck? I leave for less than an hour and Carolina is competentish. Also, hey banner! Thanks!
Congrats, and it is the Panthers so there will be twists and turns.
I need a big game from them for FF purposes, so I’d expect an implosion pretty soon.
Summarizing the larte window:
1) Mark Schlereth game
2) MRSA Dreamboat ball gargling
3) Donks killing the last remnants of Hippo’s soul
It’s okay, you probably didn’t need those remnants for anything. Downside, being mistaken for a ginger.
First at trivia! Plus I learned the name of the phobia “fear of an empty glass” – cenosillicaphobia
Sometimes I think that wordsmiths have too much time on their hands. This is one of those times.
Local boardgame-centric bar is having a trivia contest in a couple of weeks, where round 1 is plain old trivia, and round 2 is extra trivial trivia. Gonna go down there and put a prison beating on them.
Write a guttersnipe style BugEyedBootsOTG!
Back when we played trivia every Thursday for $$$, I could do a weekly Triviality sort of piece. Odds are though it would be me bitching about arguing with my brother over him asking shit like, “How do you know Dostoyevsky wrote ‘Crime and Punishment’?” “Because I stayed awake in class. Why are we arguing over this?” It was at a casino, though, and first place was $200 in slot machine credits. We could win about a third of the time, and finish in the money most of the time. They changed it post-covid though, and first place is $20 in food credit.
I’d can do a piece about my adventures on Jeopardy. KenJen got zerged the week before I was on, thank god. Someone else here was on as well, but I don’t remember who.
Ooh, very curious what qualifies as extra trivial!
Straight from the website:
“Do you know the square root of an isosceles triangle? Or how many pigs fit in a blanket? Or how many cow farts it takes to fuel a combustion engine? Well, we don’t either, but if you know some actual general knowledge trivial things and/or some cool and nerdy themed trivial things, then The Forge Tavern Trivia Night is for you.”
Whoa that nap snuck up on me.
Purdy has really good footwork, for a developmental prospect/camp arm
The smartest QBs are the ones that don’t put the ball in risk and take’s what the defense gives them. If you can keep moving the chains, you can last for years in this league.
“Impeccable Shoulders” Charissa is from SEA? They should ask HER about the truth behind 9/11
Holy shitballs, Patrick Mahomes.
forcing him to ad lib is basically giving them a free TD
“Holy shitballs” was GG Allin’s supporting band. ppl forget that…
I saw the Murder Junkies play in Chicago maybe 10 years ago, the drummer finished the show by demonstrating how many drumsticks he could shove up his ass before throwing them to the audience
Do you want pink-eye? Because that’s how you get pink-eye.
“It’s also possible to get pink-eye from the ball pit at McDonald’s.” – Olivia Manning, something of an authority on the subject
That sounds like some particularly nasty variant of dodgeball or something.
SEE, Rikki? Some birthday wish chucklefuckery from Failson Hackett and Crew. Too bad it benefits Mahomes and the Chefs. And also the SeaTruthers, obvs.
Some “Free Huey” action in the Pacific NW
For the 3rd (or 4th?) time I’ll submit this tune as the best Xmas song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IippcraBPKA&t=1s&ab_channel=rtenewsontwo
HAWTEST of all TAEKS…I really dislike even that Pogues “Fairytale” song
She’s a great tune but 9 out of 10 dentists would disagree.
You scumbag, you maggot. You cheap lousy fagg- just kidding Hippo! You are my favorite, don’t tell the others.
What a treat that everyone gets to see so much of the Donks and Black Panthers games
’tis the season. Don’t worry, LDB-free
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRiYKf19T-k
Looks like I’ll go down swinging against Hippo because he played Evan Fucking Engram.
Sadly this is not monkey league and even here not in the barn.
Hard not to root for Mike White after standing in so tough after the beating he took.
He was already immensely popular with the support and in the locker room, has to be demigod after today
A demigod with multiple shattered ribs and a soon-to-be debilitating addiction to painkillers.
Soooo….. a regular starting quarterback?
Just another weekend at the Brett Farve tax dollar paid mansion.
Pffft, blissful not debilitating
.
Redzone man is annoying today.
I always have him on mute. Totally annoys me.
I don’t think I’ve watched a football game with the volume on for over a year.
Manningcast is the only exception.
I dont mind Michaels and Herbstreit
I wish I could get a spanish language broadcast.
You should be able to. Do you get ESPN Deportes?
I do not.
I’m even done with Manningcast-they’ve now got folks coming in to plug a movie or some shit. Every thing that’s good gets swallowed up by the ever-hungry corporate machine. I’m guessing that within my kid’s lifetime the mute button will be done away with. It makes too much sense to advertisers.
The old DirectTV box had a ‘Skip 30 Seconds’ button that was awesome for skipping commercials. Not fast-forward, just *bam* 30 seconds. The Powers That Be made them take it out.
“I hate The Powers That Bee! They’re pollinating flowers that haven’t been approved by the local government!”
-Kari Lake, trying desperately to hang on to relevance
This is how old I am: our crooked cable installer sold us one of those HBO unscrambling filter things you screwed in the back of your zillion pound tv. I think it cost us like 10 bucks, and free HBO, woohoo! That was 40 years ago.
I use it all of the time when the do that “We’ll be right back after this word from…”
Love it.
Well, that’s the same as the late night talk shows. Nothing’s free. At least they’re entertaining.
I don’t get the Manningcast at all.
Don’t take away 25% of my screen to show a couple of doofuses.
I’m here to watch football not to watch knuckleheads talk about football.
“Redzone man is America’s worst enemy.”
-Andrew Jackson