…Kinda, he said while on a gig at press time. Here was my schedule from Christmas Day to New Year’s Day.
12/25: Christmas Mass in the morning (in New Jersey), rehearsal for a show in the afternoon (in Brooklyn)
12/26: Said show
12/27: Gig
12/28: Taught two students. This was my obvious light day.
12/29: Gig
12/30: Rehearsal for New Year’s concert.
12/31: The above-mentioned New Year’s concert.
1/1: Gig
So, everyone else’s Stasis Week had to be one of my most productive (and more importantly, lucrative) weeks of the year. Hopefully this bodes well for 2023, since apparently nothing else in this world has.
NFL News
Doctors saw promising signs from Damar Hamlin such as elevated oxygen levels, but he remains in critical condition, still sedated as of this morning.
If you’d like to donate to the toy drive, feel free to do so here. (Now over $6.3 million as of noon ET.)
Non-NFL News
-BattleBots starts tomorrow! I will be in rehearsal, naturally. Your season-opening fight: runner-up Witch Doctor vs. last year’s #2 seed, Ribbot. Your main event: 2021 champion Tantrum takes on semifinalist Minotaur.
-In heartwarming “Marble League stories I forgot” news, thanks to Reddit: Deep Marblearth dive ahead, where much of this is all lore and marble kayfabe.
In 2014, a young marble sports fan named Mallard won tickets to the Tour de Vellis to see the then-Speeders earn their adjective by winning the event for the first time. She was excited for the spectacle and the competition and couldn’t wait to go back to more marble sports events. But as it seemingly often does, tragedy struck. One parent was in the infirmarblery, and two days later, was gone. Mallard’s other parent, Bombay, had not been working at the time, and most of the family’s savings ended up being used for the funeral. Mallard, along with younger brother Billy, ended up having to take jobs as farmhands where they met future teammates Quacky, Ducky, and Goose. After the five took a trip to the 2017 Marble League, they vowed to become marble sports athletes, coached by Bombay, and taking the name the Green Ducks. They shocked the marble world in 2019, being in the lead after six events, eventually finishing second to the Raspberry Racers. The years after hadn’t been quite as successful in the big competitions, finishing 12th in 2020 and 11th in 2021 in the Marble League, but a team 6th in Seasons 1 and 3, and a team bronze in Season 2 of Marbula One showed the Ducks hadn’t become also-rans.
But then the Ducks became hosts of ML22, and though they were in the mid-pack with three silvers and a bronze, they didn’t have a gold to their name heading into the final event, the elimination race. As the competitors ticked away, all eyes were on the Pinkies, Shining Swarm, Team Galactic, and the Savage Speeders—the four teams in championship and podium contention. With the Swarm and Speeders crashing out in 9th and 7th respectively it came to the Pinkies and Galactic. But with Galac-fifth rearing its head one final time, the Pinkies clinched, and the question on everyone’s minds would be whether Pinky Panther would cap off the Pinkies’ unlikely victory with one final gold. But they finished 3rd, leaving Mallard and Ruzzy, reserve of those same Raspberry Racers from 2019, as the last two standing in the event.
So with her victory, Mallard broke a season-long (and nearly two seasons long, since the team’s previous was Event 2 in 2021) wait for gold for the home fans at The Pond in Draklin, got redemption for the Ducks’ rookie season silver instead of gold, and won herself Most Valuable Marble with a total of 65 individual points (1 gold, 2 silvers). Some story, right?
Are there still sports? (Times are Eastern)
Shut Up and Jam Gaiden
Bucks vs. Raptors (7:45, ESPN)
Heat vs. Lakers (10:05, ESPN)
JV Shut Up and Jam Gaiden
Villanova vs. Georgetown (in progress, FS1)
#25 Iowa State vs. Oklahoma (7:00, ESPN2)
#4 Fightin’ Horatios vs. Providence (8:30, FS1)
#17 Bloodeyes vs. #19 Baylor (9:00, ESPN2)
Colorado State vs. Nevada (10:30, FS1)
Iceball
World Junior Championship semifinals: U.S.A. vs. Canada (in progress, NHLN)
The Anti-Saints of Newark vs. Scotchy’s Least Favorite (NJD vs. DET, 7:00, TNT)
Lightning vs. Wild, teams that don’t end in S (9:30, TNT)
If it’s not up tomorrow, next week will be the Beaties, just in time for me to be behind on the Beat proper!
Aaaaaand I’ve been up for 22 hours. Shit.
That Damar Hamlin charity ahas now raised over $7 million. There are a lot of good peeps out there.
Sexy bitch.
I received a notification from the ESPN app about something Stephen A. said.
Most
Satisfying
Uninstall
EVER
Heh heh. There are no Stasis Weeks for the gainfully self-employed–praise Jeebus!
/knocks on wood repeatedly
Gig on, talented friend
I would know I needed to fire me on my first day, then get cold sweats stressing over how to break it to me.
We get a Peterman start on Sunday, so at least there will be some comedy.
Can’t think of a better way to secure a draft pick than starting him.
“Cloven-hoofed devils in Republican Party spark serious discussions about the Constitution.”
-an Onion article from 2016, probably
Canada now stretching their despair into a four goal lead vs the Americans. This is really hard to watch.
Whatever, hockey’s a dumb game anyway and we didn’t even want to win we were just playing to make you canucks feel better cause our mom made us include you I bet you haven’t even seen a real boob yet
Fuck you Shoresy
Pfft. Do it in the real Olympics, ice nerds.
There’s a fake Olympics?
How would one tell the difference?
The size of the bribes required to host.
America always plays their best hockey (is that the right word?) in the fourth period.
Look at all our success in Iraq!
Canada now clinging desperately to a three goal lead by the gravy of their poutine.
THIS AMERICAN NET, I CALL IT THE SPEAKERSHIP BECAUSE IT’S VACANT
Canada hanging on to a two goal lead by the skin of their Tim Horton’s Double Double.
Room Temperature HippoTAEK – The Shield has already decided to make Bills/WKRP a Draw, just doesn’t want to announce it and impact who tries Week 18. Because VERY FEW are gonna be tryng already.
That’s their plan, and just pray to Dog that things fall the right way.
Either way:
They’re hoping that KC and Buffalo win, as that will keep the standings where they are. If KC loses on Saturday, suddenly Buffalo and Cin/Bal winning is one win away from the top seeds.
If they call it a draw or a No Contest, the Bengals will take volunteers from the stands on Sunday. The starters don’t even get out of bed.
If something happens to Biden and Harris, is the Clerk of the House the Acting President or does go to the oldest Democratic Senator as President Pro Tempore.
(it’s Secretary of Commerce and Labor)
The clerk is not an “Acting Speaker,” she’s just the clerk, so it would skip to Sen. Patti Murray.
As I recall, there’s an ambiguity as to whether or not acting cabinet secretaries are in the line of succession.
They shouldn’t be. Being the Manager on Duty in McDonalds doesn’t mean you own the store.
Well, there’s also a very good argument that the Speaker and president pro tem of the Senate are not “officers” and that the Presidential Succession Act is unconstitutional. Sleep well.
Except that the Constitution empowered Congress to write the laws of the land. They said the Cabinet Secretaries, not Cabinet caretakers. As they were elected by the people, unlike the Cabinet, they have a greater claim to the presidency than they do.
Yeah, this is five ways to screwed up.
There’s two separate arguments here.
1) Are acting cabinet secretaries in the line of succession? That’s a simple question of statutory interpretation — Congress undoubtedly has the power to place an “officer of the United States” in the line of succession, it’s just a question of whether an acting secretary (who was confirmed by the Senate to some lower position) is covered by the current Act.
2) Is it constitutional for the Speaker and the president pro tempore to be in the line of succession? The Constitution refers to “officers” which many scholars believe, in context, would be members of the executive branch and not legislators.
(dives into Wikipedia pool)
Alexander Haig’s skeleton comes clanking from his grave shouting that he’s in charge! Until his bottom jaw falls off.
I love that I’m old enough to get that joke. I use it a lot.
Rikki:Andy Reid Fat jokes:: Balls: Alexander Haig jokes
I will show forebearance in posting Andy Reid fat jokes on the same day that Andy Reid shows forebearance when ordering at Big T’s Bar B Q.
I want to see a Parliament-style booing and swearing match start.
There are no rules at present, so members can pretty much do as they like!
Parliamentary Anarchy!!!
We would also have accepted “Outback Steakhouse”
Sweatpants. On. The. Floor.
Ghost of Preston Brooks: “Someone give me a cane and point me to Gaetz. I’m going to do what you tenderfoots should’ve done a long time ago!”
Wait, when did George Clinton do that?
And now they’re voting to adjourn until tomorrow.
If I’m the Dems, I’d vote no. You can’t get better prime time advertising like this.
YUP. It’s a good job of making the GOP wear the hair shirt.
I mean, if they can find 6 – just blankety-blank SIX – sane House Republicans, the Demmycrats are ready and willing to talk.
And there’s only ONE even half-assedly hinting he MIGHT talk (Bacon of Nebraska)
Yeah, the GOPer to have the balls to pull that off, gets a two year stint as Speaker plus presumptive alternative candidate to Trump/DeSantis in 2024x
McCarthy: “Yeah, well that’s just, like, your opinion, man.”
“McCarthy doesn’t want another vote, but wants talks to continue.”
Read the chamber, asshole. You’re done. You sold your soul to be called a loser.
Maybe I’m just an eternal optimist, but I think this is a good thing in that it may just result in the splitting of the Republican Party into 2.
Of course, my marble team being the Balls of Chaos, that would lead the Democratic Party to split into 2 and we would have 4 parties.
Or maybe 5 if that Forward Party thing is still a thing.
I mean, it is in the sense of “Andrew Yang still has a massive ego and wants attention”
Bullshit Moose Party
And hopefully show that, despite Trump, nihilism isn’t a political winner beyond the initial “contact high”
Yup, when Boebert said Trump wrong and he should fall in line with the Never McCarthy, you could heard the gasps in the House.
Hey, if I wanted to live in a fantasy world where I can escape into unrealistic scenarios, I’d stayed in the last thread!
Commissioner of Major League Baseball Pete Rose
“Qu’ils mangent de la brioche.”
-Une grande princesse de France
-NFL HQ telling the Bills and Bengals to warm up while their brother in football un-dies on the field
Not sure more political parties are a good thing. Or not with first past the post winning
Canada crushing the hopes of a bunch of Young Americans 3-2. Get used to it-things ain’t getting any better in your country anytime soon.
Stupid VAR. Should be tied.
Americans are the better team.
I’m gonna take that back. Intensity of the game is off the charts.
Apparently Czechia made it to the good medal game!
Anti-Saints of Newark is Good Nomenclature Hustle!