Well, two down and one more to go.
To The Game!
Ravens/Bengals:
-According to Schefter, that strategy that never, ever works may be employed by the Ravens. Yes, we’re talking about shuffling two qb’s in and out of the lineup. I guess the thinking has always been that it keeps a defense off-balance but it seems to prevent the offense from ever finding a rhythm.
-After shredding the Ravens D last year (partially resulting in the firing of Wink Martindale) Burrow has been kept relatively in check this year, throwing for under 400 yards combined in the regular season.
-Which begs the question, ‘what wrinkles will Ravens DC Mike McDonald and Cincy OC Brian Callahan unveil in this do-or-die game?’.
-Huntley called himself a game-timer earlier in the week (though he put in a full practice on Friday) leading to some Ravens fans going all-in for Anthony Brown, noting that he’s not afraid of going for the deep shot here and there which could loosen up the Bengals D. The egregious turnovers have been summarily ignored.
-Scoring Drought: It’s hard to believe (or easy, given Lamar’s status) but the Ravens haven’t scored more than one TD in any game since week 12. Thank bejeezuz they have Justin Tucker-they’ve leaned on him even more than usual lately.
-The loss of right guard Alex Cappa (he’s replaced by Max Scharping) may impact Cincy’s run game. He was their best lineman.
-Getting Dobbins touches will be essential for the Ravens-in the four games since his return from a knee injury he’s gained 397 yards.
Do your thing.
Hey Beatie, how’s about you and me, ya know, go out back behind the station house and get you pregnant?
v
My daughter thinks Joe Burrow looks like a douche. I offered ‘dweeb’ as an alternative. She took Burrow’s dissing of Cincy, as a town where there’s nothing to do, personally. Which is kind of rich, with her growing up in Columbus, where they roll the sidewalks up at night.
Columbus, Georgia or Columbus, Indiana?
Exactly.
Never visiting this city again, thay have made this into possibly the worst arrivals experience on Earth
And I Have seen some SHIT arrivals
Aw, you remembered when I joined KSK?
[DFO] Deutschland perks up…
Rodney Harrison can eat a bag of rotting dicks.
Fucking Cincy. Do better
…whomever is left.
The time between landing and getting on this immobile shuttle to the godforsaken back lot where they let taxis and rideshares exist appears to have been of great significance to this game.
I’ve never been happier for halftime to show up.
Notice how they made a point to say “unaffiliated” medical personnel.
Damn, Bengals!
Ugh, I hate LAX
Welcome to the rain!
From rain, to rain, over rain. So many prepositions with rain!
“It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on Earth has ever produced the expression “as pretty as an airport”. Airports are ugly. Some are very ugly. Some attain a degree of ugliness that can only be the result of a special effort. This ugliness arises because airports are full of people who are tired, cross, and have just discovered that their luggage has landed in Murmansk (…) and the architects have on the whole tried to reflect this in their designs.
They have sought to highlight the tiredness and crossness motif with brutal shapes and nerve jangling colours, to make effortless the business of separating the traveller from his or her luggage or loved ones, to confuse the traveller with arrows that appear to point at the windows, distant tie racks, or the current position of the Ursa Minor in the night sky, and wherever possible to expose the plumbing on the grounds that it is functional, and conceal the location of the departure gates, presumably on the grounds that they are not”.”
— Douglas Adams
LAX: At least we’re not Burbank!
I hope Tom Selleck hunts down and flays alive everyone involved in “new” Magnum PI
Sells them a reverse mortgage
How shitty is Applebees? They make even boneless chicken wings nasty.
Boneless wings cater to clientele and cook staff with Elisha-level intelligence and below. They’re so easy. How do you fuck that up?
What is the difference between a boneless wing and a chicken tender? Because I’ve definitely heated up the latter in a toaster oven with no prior experience and they were totally fine
Marketing.
Chopped up smaller, for even MOAR breading?
Counterpoint, more hot sauce surface potential
A tender is a specific part of the bird. A boneless wing is formed out of whatever meat they want in the shape of a wing.
I go away for 15 minutes to help my invalid mom find something and come back to half of the Bengals ded. What happened?
God really does not like Minnesota, the Chargers, or Cincinnati.
A drunken Bidwill family didn’t even wake up long enough to be not liked.
And Virgina McCaskey’s shitheel entitled sons said who gives a rip if we’re liked, we got our trophy inheritance already
This game so far:
Grab your jock and pads and get to the stadium, Redshirt
That entire sequence:
Down both tackles oy vey
I want the Ravens to get blown out here, just so they have to pay Lamar so much more than that dipshit in Cleveland got.
I’ll drink to that.
[will drink to anything]
I tried the Rumchata Límon. Terrible. I tried the Schmirnoff Zero Sugar Strawberry & Rose. Also terrible. Just had some of the Apple Pie Moonshine. Delicious! Will have more in a few.
Just got a text from Lady Maestro. She’s at the Top Golf out in the desert. I’m sitting in the basement at the computer eating Kraft Dinner. Friggin’ cool. Especially for me.
Hooray for hanging out with us!
Gmen getting sassy on twitter
Landed in LA, but waiting for our gate to free up. Is Lamarless Baltimore stuck in the bottom locks of the B&O canal?
Why did that 3rd and 1 run play look like a high school football team ran it?
HAIL SHANK’HLOR FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW!
PRAISE SHANK’LOR
sweet. Cincy covering +8.5.
END THE GAME NOW
It didn’t work the last prime time Bengals game.
Don’t be sassing Ms. Stark, you walking dildo
Hey, the refs showed up!
They’ll disappear later in the game.
I’ve worked for 14 hours this weekend on writing parts for my band. Is it probable that I could be more efficient with my time if these games weren’t on to distract me? Probably. But is it annoying as shit all the same? Absolutely.
Still have two more tunes to go. Fuck me.
I hope Yakety Sax is one of them.
How about one that goes like this “doo doo dee dee dee doo doo do do dee doo dah”
Bengals Gameplan: Execute Your Assignment.
Ravens Gameplan: Execute Joe Burrow.
Ray Lewis: Didn’t see nothin’
Regarding Don T’s earlier comment re: Alex Smith’s checkdown prowess, I feel compelled to stick up for him – this was his final attempt in the Titans comeback in 2018. He went down swinging, at least.
Yeah, please don’t kill yourself on the first drive, Burrow. At least let us Bengals fans experience some joy if we must die inside tonight.
The ghost of Carson Palmer compels you!
This is akin to watching your two loathed step-siblings literally swing large, rusty whaling hooks at each other.
Great analogy!
I know, what the fuck are we supposed to root for here, a meteor?
let’s have a clean quick knockout blow from Cincy. 40+ by halftime please
A TJ Housmandzadeh sighting! I think we all know what that means:
Ravens by 5
If I never heard another Rolling Stones or Beatles song after today, I could die happy.
I am a huge Stones fan, but I loathe and despise Start Me Up. I pretty much don’t like anything they’ve done with Ronnie Wood, come to think of it. Maybe a few from Some Girls, but for the most part, I hate everything post 1974.
Can’t believe I’m saying this, but Come on Bengals! Take care of business!
I kind of miss when the NFL didn’t embrace gambling. There are way too many gambling ads and gambling analysis on NFL broadcasts these days
Who thinks Lamar could have played tonight? Meeeeeee!
He’s pulling a Ladanlian Tomlinson!
https://i.postimg.cc/d1gZxB6q/shopping.webp
No contract? No rub sum dirt on it.
Should’ve paid the man!
Everyone thinks the Bengals are gonna win a Wild Card Game? This is an experience I’ve never had before.
No, we think Joe Burrow is gonna win a Wild Card Game.
Ah, so its like Senior Year of High School when the cool kid befriended a geek like me.
I’ll take it!
“Stupid fluid dispensers! Why aren’t they dropping the blood?” – the cool kid on prom night, pounding frustratedly at a remote control
Where does Florio get the gall to question ANY football player’s abilities?
yeah, that was rude
Pre-game discussion – I saw the Burrow interview (muted), and based on the general cool factor and the participants’ body language?
Joe Burrow is the only player who’d have a shot with Maria Taylor.
So, is this going to be the baby seal clubbing portion of today’s games?
hoping and praying that is tomorrow
I mean with all the craziness this weekend?
But no blow outs, all the games were close!
lucky us Greenpeace wouldn’t be caught in Ohio.
last bet. all i need is Cincy -8.5. We a Burrow blowout. Please Cincy, kill the Ravens.
(checks bets)
I can work with that. Burrow domination for some. Huntley garbage passing yards for others.