Your Cowboys/Bucs Wild Card Fiesta Open Thread

Excuse me, it’s taken most of the day to come down from yesterday’s win. During the game I took several tours of the house because I was all wound up. After the third tour wifey said, “Would you stop? You’re making me nervous!”. I just couldn’t help myself.

Hey, tonight for the football fans (that don’t support either of these squadoos) out there it’s nut-cutting time in that most are inclined to pick a side and boy, it’s rough. Myself, I just can’t think of any scenario whereby I could back Brady. I have wanted Dallas to win at times but only for NFC East purposes that benefit the Giants. I think I’ll remain a neuter here.

To The Game!

Cowboys/Bucs:

-Though he’s not played them very often, Brady has not lost to Dallas-he’s 7-0.

-DAK! has been having himself some wandering balls problems. He’s thrown an INT in seven straight games and has been mistake-free in only two games this year.

-Want to feel old? Dallas hasn’t won a road playoff game since Mike Tyson was convicted of raping Desiree Washington. Oh, what’s that? You want to hear about other things that occurred when the Cowboys last won away from home?

-Barney and Friends debuted.

-Amy Fisher shot Mary Jo Buttafuoco.

-John Gotti was sentenced to life in prison.

-Batman: The Animated Series first began.

-Dre Dre released The Chronic.

-Compact discs outsold audio cassette tapes for the first time.

-Mortal Kombat was released.

-Jay Leno becomes the new host of The Tonight Show.

-The Yankees sign Danny Tartabul.

-Moldova joins the U.N.

-Billy Ray Cyrus burst into the national consciousness.

-Malcolm X is released. (in theatres, not from prison)

-Barry Bond signs the biggest one year contract in MLB history-it’s a staggering $4.7 million bones.

-That’s how long the drought has been. Wow. Helluva job, Jerrah!

Go for it.

 

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WCS

Dude. No way.

Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

— B Walsh

WCS

The refs are fucking with Brent Maher right now.

SonOfSpam

“The previous play has been confirmed, which we knew all along. Hopefully the kicker is even more nervous. Let’s watch!”

Spur

This is good. kick it again for the LOLZ

SonOfSpam

Subtitle: “Four Inches of Glory”

Horatio Cornblower

Mrs. Horatio: “Say that again, but slower.”

Horatio Cornblower

The Master’s is in April. Fuck outta here with these ads

Redshirt

If the Cowboys score a TD on this drive, I’d still attempt an extra point for comedy reasons.

Horatio Cornblower

Absolutely.

Recovery Whiskey

Dreamboat needs Karma Chameleon playing as he sails his way off to irrelevance

SonOfSpam

Brady’s sexuality aside, he should be serenaded by Boy George at all times.

Spur
SonOfSpam

Wait…Bronski Beat guy is gay???

litre_cola

I also here the Pet Shop Boys are!

Recovery Whiskey

I still say Dreamboat is sleepwalking through this

Redshirt

Jerry is gonna cut the kicker at halftime, is he?

Spur

or shot him.

WCS

As in Gus Fring’s definition of “cut.”

Recovery Whiskey

Take him to the train station — John Dutton

litre_cola

I would like a Leonard Fournette td for old times sake, and while you are at t throw in a Zeke too.

Spur

Hype music for the last half. Let’s Go Dallas!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pCv7k_Hzvg&t=1s&ab

Don T

I hear Brett Maher is hosting the Yips Yap podcast.

Horatio Cornblower

Deion Sanders talking about roughing like he ever tackled anyone.

LemonJello

The cannons don’t thunder
There’s nothing to plunder
Tom’s an over 40 victim of fate

Spur

I like Mando. This interests me. Please show me more.

Spur

micah got hurt

Horatio Cornblower

He’ll be fine.

Toradol’s a hell of a drug.

litre_cola

A Hippo’s ears in NC perk up from his slumber.

Horatio Cornblower

/leg twitches

//DFO Clubhouse, in unison: “Aww, he’s dreaming again!”

BugEyedBoo

Stuff is truly miraculous.

Brocky

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WCS

WHY’S THE DOOR OPEN CLOSE THE DOOR

Horatio Cornblower

One of the greatest skits ever.

Recovery Whiskey

Alex Smith put some long pants on we’re still eating dinner here jeez.

BugEyedBoo

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Senor Weaselo

What’s the single game missed extra point record?

Recovery Whiskey

I think you’re looking at it

WCS

Nongendered Cowperson special teams trying to contribute:

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Horatio Cornblower
SonOfSpam

Also, if Tampa does not come back to win, Tom Brady should not get into the Hall of Fame until after Trevor Lawrence.

Brocky

Somewhere Scott Norwood has got to have the weirdest boner right now

Horatio Cornblower

I bet it bends right.

SonOfSpam

I legit feel really bad for Brett Maher.

Horatio Cornblower

Maher’s gonna be taken out and shot at halftime.

Recovery Whiskey

Take him to the train station — Yellowstone

Redshirt

SHANK’LOR is gonna look like Fat Elvis by the end of this game.

Recovery Whiskey

Peyton is hilarious on missed XP

Spur

HOLY FUCKING SHIT. The fucking kicker!

Mr. Ayo

Moar like MEHer

Col. Duke LaCross

Trés!

Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

– B. Walsh

Spur

FUCK YEAH!

Recovery Whiskey

Pouty Brady is Best Brady

Spur

Penalty coming out of a timeout. Super

Brocky

I enjoyed the premier episode of the last of us.

Spur

Is that the sequel to This is us?

Horatio Cornblower

God, I wish.

Brocky

Might be with the time jump. Can’t rule it out yet

Wakezilla

I have a feeling Timmy Brady is going to give Al Pacino ‘s speech from Any Given Sunday to rally the boys; especially the whole “I lost my kids and my marriage” line

Recovery Whiskey

Want to know how bad Dallas has been lately? I am sort of rooting for them to win. Its been so long since they’ve been relevant. Plus I go to DFW for work at least once a year and that Cowboys team store in E gate needs some new merch from newer since the early 1990s.

Horatio Cornblower

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Brocky

I still have a lot of resentment for brady, so I wouldn’t mind either of these teams losing

Horatio Cornblower

Whoever wins this week will lose next week. Shouldn’t be too painful for the rest of you.

Horatio Cornblower

Hilton was such a good late-season pick-up for Dallas.

Spur

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Recovery Whiskey

She’s a great pickup for anyone. As long as you double wrap it.

Horatio Cornblower

I wouldn’t fuck her with Bea Arthur’s dick.

Horatio Cornblower

80 For Brady is the lemon party movie you never wanted but are getting anyway.

WCS

You sick, horrible bastard.

Horatio Cornblower

Thank you.

Recovery Whiskey

Tommy looks like he wants the season over

WCS

After a long, difficult season, at least he can go home to his wife and kids–

Spur

and get back to Frenching his son

Spur

This game needs to go faster.

Horatio Cornblower

I am in favor of stopping the count now.

Spur

WTF. Can’t make Extra Point

Brocky

You know you’re getting old when the knot on the back of your neck is so bad you’re debating duct taping a bag of peas to your head

BugEyedBoo

Last Friday I pulled a muscle in my side getting out of a chair. I’m well past my ‘best by’ date.

WCS

PRAISE SHA’NKLOR

/Matt Nagy experiences a tremendous disturbance in The Force

Col. Duke LaCross

Hail SHANK’LOR!

Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

— B. Walsh

Horatio Cornblower

Twice.

Maher has the Bucs and the points.

Horatio Cornblower

I give McCarthy a lot of shit, (“I’d prefer cake” says Mike), but that was a great call.

Spur

DAK DOWN!