Your Other NFC Semi-Final Game Open Thread

Are we not entertained? (I’ve no idea of course because this is being typed at 2:30 EST). On to the next one…

To The Game!

Cowboys/Niners:

-Has Prescott righted his football ship? Down the stretch he had 11 INT’s in seven games but last week against a less-than-stellar Tampa D he had his way to the tune of 4 TD tosses and one rushing score.

-Game Manager Purdy (so they say) has at least 2 TD passes in his last seven games. One can do quite a bit of damage when surrounded by a suffocating amount of talent. More importantly, you’d think that an afterthought draft pick would be at a pick-per-game pace but he’s only had the 4-limiting mistakes is the key part of his success.

-With the game expected to be close it’s up to Brett Maher to get out of his own head and not leave points on the field. I’ve no doubt that the PAT problems have been fixed but what if they need a long-ish field goal at some point?

-Over the last part of the season DeMeco Ryans has increased his usage of two high safety sets, thus taking away longer throws towards the boundaries. Look for Dak! to work the middle of the field before taking some longer shots downfield.

-McCaffrey Time For Sure: The Dallas run D has given up 100+ yards rushing in 11 of 18 games and of those 11 six times the number has been 150 or more. They ‘held’ Tampa to 52 but that’s because Brady decided to throw 66 times.

-Two San Franny defenders will need to have bounce-back games. Nick Bosa was held without a pressure for only the 2nd time in his career last week-his 18.5 sacks this year say that he’s a much better player than that. Cb Charvarious Ward rarely gives up more than 50 yards to an opposing receiver but he was torched to the tune of 98 yards and a TD on six receptions last week.

Have at it.

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Spur

very nice Dallas response. Good looking drive with alot of runs

fleshwound_NPG

lmao

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That touchdown celebration was almost as bad as that mini 80s neck roll he’s wearing.

Horatio Cornblower

Schultz didn’t block for Dak on the previous play so he could vulture the TD

Doktor Zymm

Who says defense isn’t exciting? That was pretty baller

King Hippo

GOOD defensing FITBAW is awesome sauce. It just takes a discerning eye to separate from shit offensing.

Horatio Cornblower

Dallas is in FG range, so expect to see Maher run out as a 12th man to push them out of it

King Hippo

Oof, starting to think Tomsulas is in trouble

Spur

Dallas is setting up that play action

Horatio Cornblower

How do Buck and Troy not have this game?

fleshwound_NPG

disney spent all the money to have the cowboys play in brady’s last game

Horatio Cornblower

/shakes fist at sky

EISNER!!!!!

Brick Meathook

They work for ESPN now

Doktor Zymm

If he was a French cleric he would be Abbe CeeDee

Doktor Zymm

Are we supposed to know who that skinny dude whining about not having an apple show is?

Sharkbait

Imagine the casting call: Generic white douchebag

Brick Meathook

With generic black douchebag best friend

Spur

He was in Dune and the King. Timothy something. He’s not bad as a actor.

Mr. Ayo

That’s the kid from the Dune movie. Timothy something.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Chalamet. I know this because his sister is on The Sex Lives of College Girls and got a UTI from having too much sexy sex.

Horatio Cornblower

Timothee Chamelet.

Best known for fucking a peach and somehow not being killed and eaten by Armee Hammer. In the same movie!

Spur

that’s his name!

Spur

not bad holding SF to 3 from Dak’s bone head play

Horatio Cornblower

If this is going to turn into a FG battle, well…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

As opposed to the fig [newton] battle that got Eli grounded for three whole weeks.

King Hippo

Ok, that was some goofy rookie shit

Horatio Cornblower

When he turned back I thought we were on to something good for Dallas, but he smartened up enough to just huck it past everyone.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Why isn’t this State Farm ad about Coach Reid getting personal by talking about quality time with his sons?

Last edited 1 year ago by BrettFavresColonoscopy
Mr. Ayo

The prisons don’t allow video cameras inside, unfortunately.

Doktor Zymm

It’s too bad Lenoir isn’t an ex-Raven, because then he would be their “Lost Lenoir”

King Hippo

I would mock Olsen but I expected a draw there

ballsofsteelandfury

Horatio, are you dressing up the dwarf like this?

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Horatio Cornblower

Had to put him in storage while we have the kitchen renovated, and I’ll let you just imagine what a human rights issue that’s become.

LemonJello

Oh, Dak.

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Mr. Ayo

Bad Ham!

Horatio Cornblower

Well that’s just a bad pass.

Spur

under thrown – DAK IT!

fleshwound_NPG

oh dak

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What’s the punt count so far? 4?

fleshwound_NPG

“five.”

-dak’s arm

Spur

I’d go tp the pro bowl for a Peyton vs Eli boxing match or slap fight

Doktor Zymm

Weather update – there’s a gale warning, but windspeeds in the San Jose area are only supposed to get up to 20 mph

ballsofsteelandfury

I think they mean Gail, Linda’s annoying sister.

Horatio Cornblower

Both these offenses average 30 points a game because they’re not playing these defenses.

fleshwound_NPG
LemonJello

The game so far:

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Horatio Cornblower

I’m not a betting man, but if I were I would hit the under like it stole something.

Which does not, I fear, bode well for Dallas.

ThePirateSloth

Fuck, I need to switch to liquor if imma cheer for the 49ers.

Doktor Zymm

If Dallas wins this game, what’s the line on Cowboys fans getting arrested in Philly next week?

Horatio Cornblower

That’s a funny way to spell “shot”

Doktor Zymm

I’m pretty sure any Philly cop would arrest the guy in the Dallas jersey, despite the evidence of a bullet wound

Doktor Zymm

Guy in an Eagles jersey: “He stole my bullet!”
Guy in a Dallas jersey: *bleeds out in a gutter*
Philly cop: *charges Dallas guy with forcible robbery*

Horatio Cornblower

You say that like the Philly cop isn’t the one who shot him.

ballsofsteelandfury

I think your phone autocorrected from “attacked”.

Last edited 1 year ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Horatio Cornblower

Taking a break from demolishing my kitchen to watch Mike McCarthy do the same to my dreams of a Super Bowl.

Petronel

Alright, let’s do this

Spur

Game needs to a high scoring shoot out. Dallas needs to force Purdy to pass and let the Dallas pass rush have plenty of times to turn him into a pumpkin

Horatio Cornblower

I agree with this, but also doubt it will happen.

SF’s defense is for real.

ballsofsteelandfury

Did y’all know Erin Andrews and Charissa Thompson are besties and do a podcast together?

It’s surprisingly interesting.

Mr. Ayo

Of course

Doktor Zymm

We should talk about that on our podcast

ballsofsteelandfury

I refuse to participate on our podcast unless I can get a Gene Belcher sound machine with fart sounds.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

How about Maher fakes a hamstring injury on the opening kickoff?

Spur

Do Bills/Cincy game ever start?

ballsofsteelandfury

No

– Bills

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I played well.

–Damar

Horatio Cornblower

Definitely didn’t hurt his team.

LemonJello

Burkhardt/Olsen? Christ.

fleshwound_NPG

30 years go by quicker than you think https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xxkii-_hsG0

Petronel

BOOOOOOO

BrettFavresColonoscopy

https://nypost.com/2023/01/21/tom-bradys-buccaneers-teammates-dont-think-hell-be-back/

Good news is he’s learned he can change his mind without anything bad happening in his personal or professional life.

Cecil Rhodes

Tom will be back, but playing for a team that already has a good defence and is just missing a QB. He still has a few more years of child support to pay for, and he has to find a way to make back the money he lost on FTX!

Horatio Cornblower

At a minimum he’s going to have to earn enough to pay the legal bills he’s going to incur from getting sued for shilling for a Ponzi scheme.

fleshwound_NPG

garbage weekend to even out the meastly wild cards

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS BILLS-BENGALS GAME I CALL IT ELI MANNING’S FAVORITE MILK-BASED CANDY BECAUSE IT WAS A DUD.

ThePirateSloth

My Loco Moco attempt was a success!
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Spur

Got Baked Ziti ready to go for halftime

ballsofsteelandfury

Is that when it’s coming out of the oven?

Cuz I don’t think that will last if it’s ready now.

Spur

coming out

Don T

Every time I see Bradshaw, I thank Jeebus for the Mute button.

Doktor Zymm

Both of my remaining futures bets are still live after this weekend. I therefore can confidently predict a KC/whoever wins this game matchup for the Owl.

King Hippo

oh, just the thought of how empty next weekend will feel

Spur

might as well do my taxes next Sunday morning

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I need a big day from Kittles and Bits to power my playoff pool entry.

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