GO

---

This is why you don’t just put a brace on it and play. Played with no ACL and LCL for my brothers/team. Changed the trajectory of my career. Hindsight is 20/20. I didn’t have the luxury of that. Lamar does. He is DOING THE RIGHT THING. pic.twitter.com/UPY5pKNOcH

— Robert Griffin III (@RGIII) January 16, 2023

This is why I don’t judge Lamar for not “gutting it out”. RG3 wasn’t the same QB after that and that is a tragedy.

No one knows how he feels. If Lamar blows out his knee, Baltimore just drafts a QB on Day 2 of the draft. Lamar, however, loses his unique playing style, millions of dollars, and spends a few years as a journeyman backup thinking about what could’ve been.
Redshirt

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I don’t think racism will ever end. Which is terrible. But I really hope that, when I die, society has improved enough for “cocksucker” to be on the Insult Endangered List. Sexual dynamics would be waaaaaay groovier, fo sho.
Don T

Society and history has shown that, while the progress is periodic, overall the progress is forward-leaning, you salad tosser.
Redshirt

I think the only shot we have at ending racism is discovering other sapient species, then the speciesism will drive the racism down to minimal levels (i.e. “He may be [insert race] but at least he’s HUMAN”)

Also, “motherfucker” shouldn’t be an insult, if no one ever had sex with your mother you wouldn’t be here!
Doktor Zymm

---

I’m often annoyed by how often I’m being asked to rate and review every damn thing, but I get why companies do it. But the way they ask now is getting fucking weird. I was just asked the following question:

“Do you love using the FedEx app?”

What kind of a psychopath says yes to that question? Jesus, FedEx, at best someone might say it’s a good app.* Anyone who “loves” using your app needs to be locked away for society’s protection.

*– It isn’t. Amazon actually shows me where the vehicle is; all I’m getting from you guys is “well, it might arrive in this four-hour window, but sometime today for sure.”
Dunstan

I’ve started leaving 2-star reviews saying things like “app works okay but constantly harrasses me to leave reviews”
Doktor Zymm

---

Is a Brett Maher FG attempt too much to ask for?

Is Brett Maher still in the stadium?
Horatio Cornblower

He’s in the bilge of the pirate ship.
LemonJello

---

I didn’t think it was possible, but Mike McCarthy’s sweatshirt logo makes him look even stupider than usual…
BeefReeferLives

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just look at his face https://t.co/vJbsx2NWmu

— Spinnin Backfist (@SpinninBackfist) January 16, 2023

Spur

That “sport” is absolutely insane.
Horatio Cornblower

No CTE there!
litre_cola

We are sorry about your sore back
-NFL medical staff
Game Time Decision

Janay Rice apologizes for her role in establishing this sport.
Horatio Cornblower

---

THIS BRETT MAHER, I CALL HIM THE MARTIANS FROM SESAME STREET BECAUSE HE’S GOT THE YIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIP

Senor Weaselo

---

“And as Dak marched down the field the Tampa Bay defense were all snuggled asleep in their beds.”

-excerpt from “Horatio’s Boner Grew Three Sizes One Night”
scotchnaut

---

80 For Brady is the lemon party movie you never wanted but are getting anyway.
Horatio Cornblower

---

Tommy looks like he wants the season over
Recovery Whiskey

After a long, difficult season, at least he can go home to his wife and kids–
WCS

---

Eat shit Cincy! Cost me 500, couldnt score a fucking FG. Assholes
Spur

At what point in all the time that you’ve internet-known me did you get the impression that rooting for the Cincinnati Bengals will lead to a positive result?
Redshirt

---

Great rundown GTD. In case you missed this last night…

2Pack

---

Mrs. Sharkbait and I are COVID free WOOOO

Sharkette was still positive as of sunday, but you couldn’t tell by looking. She’s her normal self with no symptoms or fever. THANKS SCIENCE!
Sharkbait

---

This is a dynamite date!

Don T

Accused? She should be celebrated as a visionary.
Mr. Ayo

That should be her dating profile if she’s single which, let’s face it, is highly unlikely.

That’s a keeper.
ballsofsteelandfury

See my above comment, she’s married to another wrestler
Brocky

---

Note to my future self: you ate beets tonight. Don’t get all freaked out in the bathroom, you’re not dying.
Dunstan

Drink some blue food dye and make it a game.
TheRevanchist

---

Back in the fall I bought several pallets of ground beef, inside rounds, eye of rounds and pork loins. My supplier was very appreciative and threw in a (15kg) case of beef bone-in short loins. I just remembered and brought a piece home thinking it was the equivalent of a prime rib roast. It is not. So I’m now 15 videos in on trying to understand how to bone out a beef tenderloin and a striploin roast from this cut.

/will these white guy problems never end!!!
scotchnaut

I doubt you don’t know how to debone hunks of flesh.
WCS

---

This has been my first official week of unemployment (the last couple months were unofficial as I was still under the notice period required by CA law) and it’s been quite a bit of work!

I applied for unemployment, initiated rollover of my 401k since they’re going to start charging me extra fees for not having an income anymore, filed my last wellness claims, and I think I’m getting my COBRA stuff in the mail today so there’s paperwork all set for tomorrow. Still better than actually working though

I also worked out that I should be able to put off working again till October and decided to go to Greenland in July after hiking in Andorra. Greenland was originally planned for May 2020, so I’m resurrecting some old bookings.
Doktor Zymm

Congrats on funemployment!
BrettFavresColonoscopy

So far, so good! And I might even get a tax refund this year because of the Meta stock crash!
Doktor Zymm

you be totes winning the game of LYF, Dok. We bask in your reflected glory!
King Hippo

Oh hell yes, we live vicariously through her! She’s Dora the Explorer, but way better!
Gumbygirl

Reply to Gumbygirl
January 19, 2023 7:12 pm
Dora, with maybe a dash (or more) of Carmen Sandiego?
LemonJello

---

Sure is quiet in here tonight

Sharkbait

Too….quiet….
Doktor Zymm

I wouldn’t want to be a hobo in Northern Ontario tonight…
ballsofsteelandfury

There are no good nights.
Dunstan

---

Editor
January 20, 2023 10:06 am
Apologies for being AWOL last night, (noticed all the comments about it being dead), but I was here

https://www.wfsb.com/2023/01/17/half-door-closing-after-over-20-years-hartford/
having a couple of pints of Guinness to mourn the closing of a really good bar from my old neighborhood in Hartford. When I loved there it was a different bar, The Cool Moose, which catered to kids from the University of Hartford and neighborhood regulars with mental problems and weapons. The Half Door cleaned it up and served an excellent meatloaf sandwich to boot.

They’re supposedly closing because of a dispute with the landlord and decreased business since Covid. They’ve promised to re-open, however, and the owners run several very successful restaurants, so I suspect that they’ll just re-open several blocks to the white, I mean right, side of the area.

We did intend to make off with whatever wasn’t nailed down, but the staff was on to that and guarding against it to the point that I was served Guinness in a plastic cup. Bastards.
Horatio Cornblower

Also good to hear the Sharkbait household is plague free. The Half Door was packed last night, so 50-50 I’ll come down with it next week. I was, however, smart enough to suggest we go for dinner somewhere else: never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever eat at an establishment that will be closing within three days. I promise you they are not getting fresh food deliveries.
Horatio Cornblower

---

Hey Doc Z, you said something about rolling over a 401k the other night. If you’re going to have little to no regular income this year, I suggest looking into converting it into a roth IRA and taking the hit whilst your tax bracket is low. (then, all investment income is tax free when you cash it out)
BeefReeferLives

With my 2 paychecks, PTO payout, severance payment, and probably working Oct-Dec I’m not sure my income will actually be low enough to make it worth it, but definitely something to check out in case! Thanks!
Doktor Zymm

Don’t forget to account for your DFO stock options when making such decisions!
Horatio Cornblower

---

Litre Cola delivers again!

Mr. Ayo

Cheezies are gone. I’m afraid of the Turk and Vodka. And the Gin is tomorrow night’s drink after the Kraken defeat the vile Colorado Avalanche.
Mr. Ayo

Soak the Turk in scary vodka and let your terlet quake in terror.
King Hippo

---

I think at this point, our troubled nation needs Jon Lovitz to bring back his “Tommy Flanagan, pathological liar” character as George Santos.
Dunstan

---

Hawaiian spice burgers, pan fried sweet potatoes with fresh rosemary, grilled asparagus in butter/garlic/salt.

My afternoon is gonna be good. I don’t even care that it is snowing right now, it ain’t gonna stick and I’m still gonna be out there grilling and drinking beer.

ThePirateSloth

---

My biggest pet peeves:

No Nut November
Dry January
Giving up something for Lent

Life is fucking hard enough. Depriving yourself of good things doesn’t make it any better.
ballsofsteelandfury

I celebrated No Nut November by getting a vasectomy!

ThePirateSloth

Yeah, about that…

– WCS
ballsofsteelandfury

---

My neighbor just got arrested for growing marijuana. I guess my property line isn’t where I thought it was
Alex_Demote

---

I understand your feeling about Colombus, but do remember that he was ousted as governor because the Inquisition thought he was too brutal and viscous to the local populace. The Inquisition!
ArmedandHammered

---

C. Kirk – Return is Questionable.
J.T. Kirk – OUT
Redshirt

Huh, usually it’s J.T. Kirk reporting the demise of a redshirt, not the other way around.
Dunstan

---

The official Mr. Ayo Big Turk review:

The initial bite was made with some trepidation as a Big Turk bar looks like a Big Turd. Surprisingly, the initial taste of chocolate was quite pleasant. The odd flavor of the interior rushed in to interrupt that pleasantness. Then the true horror set in as I realized this goo was holding my upper and lower jaw together. As I struggled to free my teeth, the goo flavor changed to a flavor reminiscent of a Twizzler, which I enjoy and was a welcome oasis in this nightmare. Soon, the efforts of separating my teeth was accomplished only to realize a new horror. The goo was still there. In fact, it was now everywhere. I could only mash the bits between the teeth, but I would have to scrape the rest off the face of my teeth. Keep in mind, this is the first of what would be six bites to consume this bar. I now fear that I will be picking bits of Big Turk goo out of my teeth for days.

In conclusion, the second Big Turk bar is in the trash and I will not be consuming this particular confection ever again.
Mr. Ayo

---

I’d have bet all your money on the over in this game. You guys are just lucky you didn’t fall for that, “Your niece is in jail in Estonia and needs bail money” thingy I sent to your respective emails.
scotchnaut

I didnt fall for it cause I know a fake country when I see one.
herodotus450

My couch, I call it Estonia, because I get estoned on it.

Gumbygirl

---

“He’s fine, he’s fine.”

-NFL-sanctioned doctors, reviewing the tape
scotchnaut

---

Love how Urban Meyer is so toxic that even Collinsworth will shit on him.
King Hippo

---

Skyy seeing Lucy and diamonds after that hit.
scotchnaut

---

The National Weather Service just issued a Severe Thunderstorm Watch and a Winter Weather Advisory for Jackson County, MO, due to a sudden drop in air pressure thanks to all the sphincters clenching shut.
Redshirt

---

It’s going to be a very cold day when I kill and gut Cris Collinsworth, so I can warm my hands on the steam that rises from his rotten guts.

He is the worst fucking thing in the world.

He is the corn in the diarrhea of life.
jjfozz

---

“Not many people know this but JuJu controls the mainstream liberal media.”

-Kyrie Irving
scotchnaut

me: this is a flat out lie

kyrie: you know what else is flat
fleshwound_NPG

---

I think Prison Girlfriend used extra conditioner this morning. RAWR!
King Hippo

His hair is head and shoulders above Mahomes’.
scotchnaut

If Prison Girlfriend and Mahomes had a baby it would be Troy Polamalu
Doktor Zymm

---

I fully question my sanity by saying this but….

Sunday Gravy’s coming yo!
yeah right

---

Ok, I approved 4 new pending users, but one appeared to be a Lions fan, so hopefully I don’t regret it.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Thanks for the approval.

Being a Lions fan is mostly an affliction, like leprosy or being related to Ted Cruz.
LongtimeLionsLoser

---

I haven’t seen Eagles deliver this kind of destruction since the opening days of Operation Desert Shield.
LemonJello

---

We’re going from “pay Daniel Jones $35 million a year” to “leave Daniel Jones’s dismembered corpse in the East River” in 7 days.
Horatio Cornblower

---

This game sounds like almost as much fun as being at Fozz’s house right now, so we’re going to keep watching LoTR since lady bfc has never seen it before. Fozz, if you need an alibi, you came to visit me.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’ve banged down two bourbons, and stayed out of the kitchen. i have no idea how my father in law hasn’t set that woman on fire
jjfozz

---

Selling the USFL to football fans is like trying to sell hot dogs outside of a mosque.
jjfozz

“They’re Hebrew Nationals!”
“That doesn’t help.”
Doktor Zymm

---

Despite scrubbing, I have not managed to get my hands completely clean of the horse-mud I’ve been in contact with the past couple days. It does nAWT smell good, but I’m guessing I’ve inadvertently ingested some, probably fine and a good for my immune system
Doktor Zymm

I feel the same way about my Big Turk experience
Mr. Ayo

---

I posted in the last thread that my mother in law is here. Please come kill me.
jjfozz

Have you dressed in drag yet?
litre_cola

I answered the door wrapped in a Pride Flag.
jjfozz

---

Must be said, it is GREAT having a genuine Fuck Lions supporter in the Clubhouse
King Hippo

I was the Vice President of the Detroit Lions fan Club of NYC in 2008 when they went 0-16. I’m dumb, sick or both.
LongtimeLionsLoser

---

We redid our kitchen last year, and we live in a 110-year old house subject to a Historic Preservation Board. It was like a perpetual catheterization.

Good luck with the redo, and may it be less painful than ours.

But in the meantime, have plenty of good bourbon and Luxardo cherries on hand.
LongtimeLionsLoser

“While we would like to approve your renovation plan, no one in your house has diphtheria, and that is not consistent with the historical era in which your kitchen was first designed. Please resubmit your plan once one or more of your family has contracted diphtheria.”

-Historic Preservation Board
Horatio Cornblower

Preservation Board: We request that you submit to us the color of your exterior window sealant.

Me: It will be painted to the color of the period-specific wood window.

Preservation Board: It is still in the guidelines that we approve the sealant color.

Me: Ok, on to item 1b, out of 37. [I die inside]
LongtimeLionsLoser

---

I CALL THESE BILLS ITALIAN HOUSEWIVES BECAUSE THEY’RE GETTING A HUGE BEATING AT HOME!
scotchnaut

---

Brady at 80

Brick Meathook

Brady bumps into the person ahead of him in the nursing home cafeteria line, crumples to the ground like he’s been shot, and looks around for a penalty flag. The nurses sigh, help him to his feet, and hand him a free jello cup.

Across the room, Tony Romo chuckles and praises Brady’s veteran savvy.

Eli Manning, visiting Peyton, exclaims excitedly “they have jello cups!”
Dunstan

---

I did have a small victory last night in front of my mother in law.

My wife reminded my middle son – 15 years old and a professional asshole – he had confirmation class today.

“I’m not going. Confirmation is a money grab. It’s not a real sacrament. Dad said so.”
jjfozz

---

“Tyler Boyd would be a solid #2 on any other team.”

-Najeh Davenport, commenting on the game
scotchnaut

“Sure hope it’s solid”

-Davenport’s housekeeper
SonOfSpam

---

SNOW FOOTBAW
fleshwound_NPG

You sure that’s snow? I’ve seen similar scenes in my powder room…

-J. Irsay, Indianapolis
Cecil Rhodes

---

L and I cannot stress this enough MAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO pic.twitter.com/ZBmtnJEVSw

— Superdrunkmark69 (@cjzer0) January 23, 2023

Horatio Cornblower

---

Imagine saying five years ago that the chiefs would be be the least likeable team still alive in conference championship weekend
Brocky

---

Almost rooting for Dallas to score a TD here so we can see the greatest missed point ever
Gatoraids

---

What’s the punt count so far? 4?
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“five.”

-dak’s arm
fleshwound_NPG

---

Brett Maher 2023 NFL Playoff Final Stats:

2-2 FG 1-6 XPM 7 PTS

GLORIOUS
WCS

---

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