I was going to do a whole thing that was basically the beginning portion of The Beatles’s “A Day in the Life”

and then decided “meh, not in the mood to talk about all the domestic violence that’s going on.” Seriously, what in the actual fuck people? Yes, I’m looking at you, Mike Clevinger, Charles Omenihu, and Justin Roiland. Especially you for the other shit involved, Roiland. Trying to do a Matt Gaetz impersonation too, if I read that right? Bruh.

I do have to wonder how they’re still going to do Season 7 with the voices considering Adult Swim specifically said Season 7 of Rick & Morty is still a go (I guess just helmed by Harmon who is now going to proceed to lose whatever mental gains he’s made over the last 10 years to make this the best he can until Season 8 of R&M becomes their Gas Leak Year), that could potentially be hilarious in the ridiculousness. Good for the animators that they will still have jobs though, since everyone and their mother is trying to kill animation.

So… fuck. Uh… all right, the Beat’s claiming this time, and post-gig I have to write that up.

We’ve got more Destruct-A-thon knowledge, the BattleBots live show in Las Vegas. Robots involved:

-Witch Doctor
-HyperShock
-Kraken
-Malice
-Mammoth
-Whiplash
-Diablo, a robot by Zack Bieber (Razorback from the early seasons, but best known for El Diablo from the classic years)
-Chopper, an axe bot by Caustic Creations (the team behind Copperhead and Poison Arrow)
-The return of Nightmare!
-Holy shit, it’s OverKill! OverKill was Christian Carlberg’s heavyweight, known for being the OG spinner killer. Its weapon? A giant knife. The knife was the spinner killer part. Considering it was basically a thwackbot I’m curious about how that counts as “active weapon.”
-Second holy shit, Tazbot! Donald Hutson’s heavyweight probably fits in the “best classic heavy to never win the Nut” along with OverKill. It’s a unique pickaxe/lifter mounted onto a turret.
-Ginsu, Greg and Trey’s “show bot” from the classic years. Its sawblade wheels tells me it very much the “toss it in” bot because it’s never had an active weapon.

Of these, yeah, we’re all excited for the classic returns. Are the designs horribly outdated? We’ll find out! After all, each team now has five chassis to run at any given time, so it could be a week.

The teams (to my knowledge) will not be there the whole time (or most of it because they have real jobs and in the case of Whiplash are real university students) so hey, I guess we now have professional combat robot drivers, crews, and the like! I hope.

Cool, now we can get to the news:
Super Bowl assignments are out! Carl Cheffers gets the ref gig for the third time, and the second in three seasons.

NGCP RB Tony Pollard had his ankle surgery. He should be at full strength before training camp but this definitely hurts the wallet, since the 25-year old is set to be a free agent.

Bill O’Brien is a hack of a head coach and GM, but is back as OC of the P*ts.

Aaron Rodgers at least knows his contract isn’t viable and is open to reworking it. If he plays in 2023.

Award finalists are out! MVP finalists: Allen, Burrow, Hurts, Mahomes, and the token non-QB, Justin Jefferson.

And now, sports:
Slapstick
Original Six matchup, which therefore makes it special: Team not from Texas vs. Team that messed up plural nouns (NYR vs. TOR, 7:00, TNT)
Teams that have even less in common: Union Soldiers vs. Rig Workers (CBJ vs. EDM, 9:30, TNT)

NBA Jam
Ben Simmons Boo-Fest, Vol. Whatever: Atlantic Avenue vs. Broad Street (BKN vs. PHI, 7:30, ESPN)
West rematch: Memphis vs. Golden State (10:00, ESPN)

NCAA Jam (now with Names & Likenesses!)
#13 DMX vs. #19 UHoratio (Xavier vs. UConn, in progress, FS1)
Cocks vs. Swamp Kitties (South Carolina vs. Florida, 7:00, ESPN2)
Everyone’s favorite Cinderella from however many years ago vs. #23 Providence Plantations (Butler vs. Providence, 8:30, FS1)
aTm vs. #15 Barkley: Shut Up and Jam University (Texas A&M vs. Auburn, 9:00, ESPN2)

Cool? Cool.