Your Oscars Open thread. Now with more balls!

Your friendly Puerto Rican good life enthusiast is not able to take care of tonight’s Open Thread as he has some pressing business to attend to. (read: hot date with spicy Latina). By the way, the term Spicy Latina is redundant.

Tonight, we have what is affectionately called around LA as the Gay Super Bowl. There will be MANY Oscars parties where people will congregate and talk about the outfits, the gossip, and the awards without anyone actually watching more than a handful of the movies nominated.

Seriously, it really is the perfect comparison.

I am talking about this because, as your resident LA resident that has friends in the industry, I can confidently tell you that I have been to such parties and they are as awful as you think.

The worst part is that you can’t really play the sensitive guy to pick up on a girl because her gay best friend already has you beat in the sensitivity department and he knows much more about fashion than you do.

So, the answer is just to not go, right?

Wrong!

If you have a girlfriend, you are legally bound to go else you risk a breakup. Your buddy with the girlfriend will need you to go with him so he has someone to talk to.

It’s your duty as a friend to do this.

In closing, I want to say 3 things:

  • Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever EVER date an actress.
  • I have no idea what movies are nominated and that’s okay.
  • Hugh Grant was excellent in Operation Fortune as was Aubrey Plaza although the movie itself felt like it could have been better. I dunno, it was weird.

This song is dedicated to Horatio:

Which celebrity is your favourite? Have at it in the comments!

UPDATE!!

Yeah Right has created a NCAA Tourney Pool over at ESPN.com. It’s free to join and the water is warm!

Link:

https://fantasy.espn.com/tournament-challenge-bracket/2023/en/group?groupID=2900413

Password: DFO

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Brick Meathook

Did everybody go to bed? My night is just beginning:

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Brocky

I allllnost did an airport all nighter Thursday night. Our flight got pushed back, so I finagiled a flight for the next morning, and got better flight home today as well.

I would havebjust crashed there, but no way my poor mother could have done it

Brick Meathook

Oh I’m not spending the night in SLC. I’m on a plane bound for beautiful Baltimore.

LemonJello

Don’t think that makes it any better.

Gumbygirl

I’m gonna say au revoir. Gumby has a doctor’s appt at 11 tomorrow. Crack of dawn!

TheRevanchist

Have we met Dawn before?

Brocky

So I got off the plane and I see Brendan Frasier and Michelle yeah won

Of course the first time in years they might have been watching I was on airplane mode

Gumbygirl

Did you have fun in Vegas, like we told you to?

Brocky

Yes I did.

Probably less drugs than recommended, but it worked for me

Gumbygirl

I smothered my chicken, it was very good. Thanks for the inspiration, Yeah Right! And I’d like to thank the Academy…
Now I need someone to clean up my kitchen, it is thoroughly trashed.

Brick Meathook

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WCS

The captain is a good boy. The problem is the captain lacks opposable thumbs and higher cognitive brain functions.

Brocky

I was on a flight earlier today.

No dogs were on it.

0/10 would not fly again

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

That’s -57°C for those who speak metric

Gumbygirl

Nippy.

WCS

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makeitsnowondem

Stephanie Hsu is going to steal that trophy and put it on the bagel.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

May need outside input on the who’s hotter, Halle Berry or Jessica Chastain debate raging on our couch

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

All I know is that being in a Halle Berry / Jessica Chastain taco sandwich would be so righteous.

Gumbygirl

The answer is yes.

SonOfSpam

Much worse than last year, gonna run laps

makeitsnowondem

I got killed this year, going to try to actually watch the movies next time.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I know how you feel. I got killed last year.” – Shinzo Abe

makeitsnowondem

Yeah but I didn’t have it coming.