Good morning. Whoever had “Week 4” (is it 5? Maybe it’s 5), in the “When Will Horatio Forget To Have The Mock Draft Ready To Go First Thing In The Morning?” please go to the window and collect your winnings.
I meant to get this done last night, but Mrs. Horatio had some ideas about other things she wanted to get done and, well, that took precedence. And I’m happy to report that the new paint job in the kitchen looks very nice, and blends well with the new cabinetry.
I have two topics to consider today, one from RTD and one from BFC. Because this is a rush job I am going with Rikki’s; BFC’s is very good, but I need to put some thought into my pick and I don’t have enough time to both think and get this thing posted ahead of my 10:00 am conference calls.
Rikki suggested “Plants”, which is both a solid topic and one where I can make my first pick with ease. Rikki gave me the topic and some examples, but didn’t say which he would pick first, so I’ll be making the first pick.
The humble tomato. Tastes good, and it’s the only thing I’m consistently able to grow in what I laughingly call a garden each summer. At least high enough to the point that the groundhogs can get to them early each morning and eat them right off the vine. Last year, (drought year in CT), I actually had better luck with peppers, but that’s the first year I had any success with them, so tomatoes it is.
The rest of you are on the clock. The rules are 1) is it a plant? and 2) do you like it? It does not have to be edible. Many of you are thinking of the same plant right now, and I almost took it first just to avoid the rush, but I don’t use that plant and therefore thought it would be too mean. First come, first served.
No commissioner this week as I’m down to 3 minutes left.
Fat bastard Sean Payton at least believed in paying retail for OL. Dear God, I hope we bought correctly.
I’m no expert, but these aren’t the worst turnstiles on the market.
How is your pup doing?
These Bengals, I call them my parents but n their Wedding Night because the safeties are gone and that will only result in a disappointment happening nine months from now.
They showed the sad “T” lying at his feet being spat upon.
Yes I did do it on purpose.
No, wait, that’s better.
I saw one of the writers from this fine establishment mention the Great Briton uni’s the other day. Hope I don’t get Blaire Witched for this but did you see what that great nation put on their heroes today?
Something looks wrong with your T dude
Gumby chooses cabbage, because he is The Fartmeister.
Last pick, (since SoS took Robert Plant), is the butterfly bush.
I’ve been planting them on my neighbor’s property for a couple of years now, (they’re fully aware of it, they don’t use that part and are actually grateful we keep it in some semblance of order), while doing my very small part to help the Monarch butterfly survive.
Currently have three in decent shape, hoping to put in 4-5 more this spring.
Gorgeous.
To be clear, that is not mine. Ours are currently much smaller. A few years ago we had one that was about the same volume, (not as wide, much taller), but then we had a really cold winter and it did not bounce back.
I thought I was done, but I just needed more thyme. Get it?!!!
Nothing fancy, Jalapeños. Are they the hottest pepper? Nope, so you can’t beat your chest about eating them, but they’re awesome pickled on nachos, great chopped up fresh in things. Stuffed with cheese and wrapped in bacon? Fuck yeah. And ground up in a crema sauce for a touch of background heat. Versatile as fuck.
And you can fire roast them, too. Good choice.
Pineapple. Have no idea if there’s different kinds, and don’t care. But fresh, not the canned stuff and not stuff that’s got more miles on it than my car and is harder than a fucking rock
Blueberries. Don’t eat oatmeal without them.
FUCK, was just about to pick these.
Great late round value
There’s probably differently varietals, although I’ve never heard of them as anything other than ‘blueberries’
Final pick, I need some fruit too. Howsabout some raspberries?
Good pick – best fruit available.
Rainier Cherries. Give me enough of those and I’d burst like Mr. Creosote.
And now we continue our salute to President Zachary Taylor
Are we drafting obscure presidents now? Franklin Pierce come on down!
I’ve tried to think up something along those lines but the pool’s too limited.
FavoUrite Black Presidents: GO!
“George W. Bush!” – Barbara, accidentally letting a dark family secret slip
The 13th president, Millard Fillmore!
Did he burst? Cool!
I need veggies for my risotto. Asparagus, for the smelly pee!
5. Need to fill the fruit position so I’ll go with a nice simple peach tree. It wasn’t my intention to basically reassemble the Confederacy, but I think it makes for a very solid squadron.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvcohzJvviQ
Damn. I’ve been jizzing all damn morning with the NFL news. Holy shit balls, this is a fun day of news!
Has anything actually happened? I had ESPN on for a while and it was just Adam Schefter constantly on his phone with nothing to report other than that Quaron Rodgers might go to the Jets.
TOP JIMMY HE’S THE KING (of the Raiders)
DangeRuss getting some O-line cooking help.
Given the hair splitting, I will select Reed Avocadoes as my final pick.
NICE!
Sweet Lord Jesus how high could that man jump?
Hey all you Gin drinkers!
6th pick: Juniper
YOINK!
Sloe down.
Doesn’t “sloe” sound like a racial slur?
I’m going to go ahead and pick mango. Surprised it’s still available. Probably because Don T isn’t around.
In case you ask, I’ll go with the Ataúlfo.
Sweet!
#ElQueSabeSabe 😛
High-larious.
The San Pedro Cactus.
Is Donnie Brasco still on the board?
Terri Schiavo is.
The draft is “plants”, Sir, not “things that are pushing up plants”
You’re saying a vegetable isn’t a plant?
I believe Ms. Schiavo has transitioned from “vegetable” to “mulch” at this point.
Always a vegetable in my and/or Bill Frist’s heart
I need shallots for my risotto. I am the Lady of Shallot. ” A curse be on her, if she stays”
And yes, I know it’s Shalott.
Mushrooms.
The edible ones. Risotto with the other kind is truely… to die for.
Just noticed these were addressed earlier, and apparently they are not a plant? Still do my best proofing after I press send. And if mushrooms are really not plants… Robert Plant is on the board fer cryin out loud…
You’re really going to argue that a Plant isn’t a plant?
/pushes up glasses
Mushrooms are a fungus and not a plant
//takes hit from inhaler
so not eligible for this draft
///wedgies himself out of the room
Mushrooms are not part of this draft, and if you’ve been watching The Last of Us you’d know to stay far, far away from those things.
Bananas.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=xte_NjXsjIw
Big Mike or Cavendish? Or something else
Is the former a dick joke?
I guess Cavendish. Horatio, look what you’ve wrought.
You say that as though I would feel shame, or were even capable of feeling shame.
Big Mikes were the bananas we all ate before the Cavendish. Think there was something that wiped all the Big Mike trees out. Something similar to what’s happening with the Cavendish today. All banana trees are a copy of one, so not good for diversity. And with them being more or less seedless, trying to find disease resistant trees has been a challenge
I read that the reason that banana flavour sometimes tastes funny is that this is what the Big Mike tasted like and we’re all used to the Cavendish
The mighty sequoia. No, tell you what Carol, why don’t you just move your goddamn garage out of my tree’s reach?
Truly great scene.
The magnificent corpse flower in full-stench bloom!
A few doses of penicillin oughtta clean that right up. That flower should use protection going forward.
Picking again, because I was at the doctor. Garlic. I need it for my risotto, which I need because Purple Haze.
I’ll take arborio rice, for risotto.
The Yggdrasil.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yggdrasil
The boozehound within reminds me that you can make wine from dandelions.
And lilacs, according to Jeff Buckley!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PC68rEfF-o
pick 5, I’ll take everyone’s favoUrite vegetable: Broccoli
“Wow, I’ve never seen Eli this biased against a team before!” – an ESPN producer next season
5th pick: Manzanilla Olive
“Which tree has the best branches for making switches?”
-A. Peterson
mmmmm…unprocessed guacamole
If Horatio’s madness is consistent, I demand to know if these are Haas
I knew I waited too long to grab that one. Makes good firewood, too.
Since the broader categories have been broken down into varietals how about I start some chaos and choose a Jersey Beefsteak tomato?
Venus fly trap. They get rid of disease carrying insects, and are just plain cool.