Back in 2012, when hotmail was a thing and Jeeves panhandled for questions, Chuck Pagano got his first head coaching job, with the Colts. Pagano hired Bruce Arians as Offensive Coordinator after the Steelers kicked Arians out and threw a gold watch towards the sidewalk. In Week 6 of the 2012 season, Pagano received a leukemia diagnosis which, at that time, was not subject to replay review. Arians stepped in as caretaker HC and the Clots were at 9-3 when Pagano returned. So dynamite caretaking, yes. That also turned into two successful additional HC stints for Bruce Arians.
From what I remember: the Arizona stint was notable for that wtf! Carson Palmer season. Two things stand out about the 2015 Birdcano: for, like, four weeks straight Arizona played on prime time (twice by flex IIRC). The other thing I remember was Palmer being worse than Andy Dalton in postseason play.
The time in Tampa [spits on floor]. Not because of Brady, whom I can tolerate. Arians kowtowed to Brady but treated other players like this:
The NFL fined Arians $50,000 for hitting a player, which reinforces my bias against him because… Goddammit. You just. Don’t. EVER hit folks you supervise, and never ever EVER in the workplace. Yeah, yeah; I can hear the ole testosterony “Ya wouln’t understand FITBAW CULCHER PUSSAY!1!11!
Uh…
[takes off glasses, breathes on lens, wipes them]
[puts glasses back on, folds wipe and places it on case, closes case, crosses leg]
Wrong! If someone swings at you, psht. Wherever you live, humble reader, The Street condones retorting by a total ass-whalin’. But swinging at your boss will get your fired AND probably get ya blacklisted in your industry. Every option is terrible for the employee (dignity… or work?), but enough pre-May Day agitprop. Bruce Arians did well as caretaker and ended up as a tyrant. At least he got top jobs, unlike Steve Wilks.
Steve Wilks replaced Arians at Arizona in 2018 and before the season ended, he was replaced by Kliff Kingsbury. The ‘Boids, infamously, gave Kingsbury an extension until 2027 and fired him in 2022. For all folks who must work for a living, like me: that’s four consecutive years of high compensation for doing whatever the hell you want to do: travel, develop projects, start a new career, or, my personal preference,
The winner in this story, of course, is KK’s agent—who was also Kyler’s agent, the one who initially signed off on the no-gaming contract. KKK bringing shit to Arizona? I never suspected.
In the meantime, Steve Wilks participated in the Brian Flores lawsuit against the NFL. He claimed in court the Cardinals hired him as a bridge coach. And because lawyers know that making arcane arguments is more profitable than pointing out the obvious: the lawsuit does not mention that Wilks was stuck with 10th overall, 2018 pick QB Josh Rosen. And so Lawyer DFO will continue to toil in obscurity, until the day legislatures pack the courts with judges who are overt NFL fans.
I don’t think Steve Wilks is a litigious fella, just a coach always overlooked. After the Keimening, in 2019 Wilks became the DC of the Freddie Kitchens Pauls. Fun Fact! Kitchens was caretaker OC the year before, after the Pauls fired Hue Jackson (Week 8). The 2018 Pauls finished 5-3, thus unleashing the Baker Mayfield overexposure, our age’s most gratuitous blight.
Wilks then was the DC of the University of Missouri in 2021, and a Carolina Panthers defensive coach under Matt Rhule in 2022. Wilks became caretaker of the 2022 Panthers, a team with no viable QB and who traded CMC as part of the Rhule fire and subsequent fumigation of the team facilities. Carolina finished 2022 at 7-10, but were 6-6 under Wilks. Steve Wilks is now the Niners DC, substituting DeMeco Ryans.
NFL NEWS
-Of course, the NFL draft was this weekend. According to reports, your team did awesome / WHY?!!. I’m in the latter camp because in 2022 the Titans WR room had less talent available than the Brian Jonestown Massacre after a fentanyl binge. Notable fact: all of the Tits’ pix were offensive players, including [googles] QB Will Levis. I liked what I saw: Levis got the Green Room 1st Round slight (crucial shoulder chip), but he’s an Academic All American and played in Kentucky while getting his masters degree. Objectively solid son-in-law credentials, if yer into normie shit, but I’ve been around the block already. Rhodes Scholar DB Myron Rolle did not contribute much to the Tits.
SPROTS TONITE
All times Central.
NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs
Ooo eee. A couple of Game 7s.
Panthers @ Bruins – 5:30
Kraken @ Avalanche – 8:30
Mood:
Via r/SeattleKraken + postimages
Grandes Ligas
Filis (Falter) @ Fokin Astros (Urquidy) – 6:00
Top Flight Fútbol
SECSI MECSI
Querétaro hosts Pachuca – 6:00
León hosts Tigres UANL – 8:05
EEUU – MLS
MinnesoUta United hosts FC Dallas – 8:00
ARGENTINA
Unión Santa Fe hosts Lanús – 5:30
Talleres (Córdoba) hosts Rosario Central – 6:30
COSTA RICA
Alajuelense hosts Puntarenas – 6:00
EL SALVADOR
Metapan hosts Santa Tecla – 6:30
GUATEMALA
Xinabajul hosts Coban Imperial – 6:00
COLOMBIA
América de Cali hosts Deportivo Cali – 6:20
Boyacá Chicó hosts Bucaramanga – 8:30
CHILE
Copiapó hosts Coquimbo Unido ‘ 7Ñ30
PERÚ
Carlos A. Mannucci hosts Unión Comercio – 7:00
ECUADOR
Delfín hosts El Nacional – 6:00
BOLIVIA
Jorge Wostermann hosts Atlxtico Palmaflor – 6:30
FINALLY,
a case of caretakin’ I like a lot. In 2004, the Giants sign Tom Coughlin (🖕🏼), get Eli Manning in the draft, and sign Kurt Warner. The Web says the 2004 Giants started 5-2 with Warner. Then, after two losses (5-4), Eli came in and the Jints finished 6-10. I remember two things: Warner not being good, which is wrong; and, Warner being pissed because he was signed under the pretense that he will compete for the QB Alpha Slot, the very nerve, but this turned out to be a tank job for the rookie-with-connections to get his legs.
Ok. I can believe Giants brass pitched this to Warner: you are The QB for 2004 and with you the whole team will give an earnest try for a playoff push.
C’mon. It’s utter flattery that has to be transparent to even the most naïve Jeebusbot. Neither the lie nor the liar is a problem. It’s clear to me; look at it as a long distance relationship. Eli, the fiancé, is abroad in Rooqbland, but Warner’s here now. Warner’s an Owl winner and former MVP and, as that era’s Jerry Springer Show proved repeatedly, “You’re never there!” is grounds for couples’ reshuffling. So you can believe that Warner’s understanding of the Giants pitch being: “Seduce me, thrill me with your overpowering arm and accept me as I am, warts and OLs, and I will forsake NFL royalty forever!”
It never happens that way, only in stories. But I’m fine with the outcome. Warner went to Arizonia in 2005 and, later, to the Owl against Pittsburgh: one of the most exciting events I’ve ever seen. What a game. Otherworldly athletics all around: Fitzgerald being unstoppable, the 98-yard TD return at the end of the first half, Santonio’s toe tap…
Out of the Giant’s caretaker stop, Warner went on to cement a Hall of Fame career out of the slight in Jersey. Which might be just me shoehorning an event into a theme. But this background makes me tolerate Eli Manning eventually getting in the Hall of Fame. Sure, 18-1 helps, but let’s be honest: Eli became the most approachable Manning That Matters. That’s how you take care of a legacy.
All NFL fact-y stuff via Wiki P. DM for search topics ($5 per character, deposit required)
Ok, I should really go to bed instead of looking up 1940 census records to see who used to live in my Chicago apartment
The rent was $45 per month in 1940!
Hey, but, adjusting for inflation that’s like $139 trillion today.
Did you ever make it to the breakfast buffet ?
The fuck? Why am I hearing birds singing? It’s not even midnight here.
Well, everyone is still celebrating the ice Sox loss, so that might be it.
2:17 and probably time to go to bed. This will rock me to sleep.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imM_nkaCBGk
Can I just say that I really love our online home?
We can say a lot of things here, and that’s certainly one of them.
There’s no place like home…
https://youtu.be/zJ6VT7ciR1o
And it feel like home!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79fzeNUqQbQ
Lol
https://twitter.com/dkm14/status/1652906958989697024
I don’t understand why X, nee Twitter, won’t allow edits but allows deletes. That’s an edit you fucking morons!
Anyway, DK was replying to this tweet which is oddly cropped for no fucking reason.
Oh God we’re all fired.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgzJ4QyMTLg
I saw a performance of this the first time I took ecstacy. It left an impression.
Wow. I forgot how unbearable YT is without ads blocked.
It’s been too long since I’ve been in an airplane.
Has anyone mentioned “The Fifth Element” as far as sci-fi comedies?
It’s tough because so may sci-fi movies aren’t strictly comedies, but certainly include comedic elements.
Like My Science Project!
Jesus fucking Christ can you people not hold it together for 5 hours!?
The answer is clearly “no”.
It’s like herding cats.
I don’t know that Billy Idol was underappreciated, so to speak. It’s more that he wasn’t *appropriately* appreciated. How many glam 80’s singers were fascinated with cyberpunk stuff?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lx2fZU5USus
https://youtu.be/D7xOZVBAWtw
This is a magnificent contribution. The video is just terrific.
It’s cool, isn’t it? I haven’t seen it in a long time myself, it just popped into my head.
Really cool.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hkwULmne3o
The Steelers throw Bruce Ariens a retirement party:
?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=5d80a4bee50eba67528eaab5b0bb165813363ed5
Forbidden? Sounds more like a Vikings boat party.
Boo. Image link fail.
I haven’t seen a link failure this bad since Andy Reid’s visit to Snow’s Barbecue and they ran out of sausages.
“Please don’t make me retire. I never married and my dog is dead”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fregObNcHC8
This is the one for the Kraken fans tonite
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkcJEvMcnEg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEMm7gxBYSc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOK3rqVgN2I
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHOrpFeXUao
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjKHQeRSvjk
Old editions of the Chicago Day Book are kinda fascinating. Here are a few things that happened on Feb 8th, 1914. Seems like paying $350 to avoid prosecution for turkey theft is kind of a ripoff if they’re just going to publish what you did in the paper anyway
What happened on June 28, 1914?
It got a tiny headline, although the Polish language newspaper did run a full front page article with photos
It’s oddly reassuring to see we’ve always been horrible.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSH8lAYn4XE
Holy shit I forgot! Connor the Intern was (possibly) an alien!
https://doorfliesopen.com/2016/08/12/request-line-hi-fi-sci-fi/
OMG! OMG!
Dallas is my new mortal enemy.
RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!!!
Settle down, Jackie Onassis.
Wasn’t the original Seattle franchise the Millionaires? Gonna goggle that and report back, but if so they really should have gone with that. I’m sure it would have played great with the current Pacific Northwest hot polloi.
Shit, it was the Seattle Metropolitans.
Time to go find that jersey before next Xmas.
Speaking of Metropolitan, I forgot to draft Whit Stillman in the director’s draft. His movies were small potatoes but very special in their own ways.
Apparently the NHL owns the rights to the Metropolitans but has not put out a jersey. I am absolutely furious right now.
They were the Pilots. And they won the first Stanley Cup.
Metropolitans won the first Stanley Cup, under truly bizarre rules.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seattle_Metropolitans#First_U.S._Stanley_Cup
Hurray for 1917, WWI, and the Spanish flu!
Yeah, them. Very tactful way of letting me know I’m wrong. Don’t care though.
WOOOOOOOO KRAKEN!
I think the Pilots were a baseball team. Pretty sure they’re the current Brewers.
My mind works in mysterious ways.
That’s right. Fuck bud Selig too.
It was Vancouver that had the Millionaires. I have the cap.
I will pay good* money for that cap.
*Confederate
Wow, that is awesome. Congrats Mr. Ayo! And the defending champs losing to an expansion team, lol!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aeOBZ7gVPY
The spiraling shape will make you go insane…
But everyone wants to see that groovy thing!
FUCK YEAH KRAKEN!
YOU LIKE THAT? HUH? WHAT? FUCK YOU!
Ayo!!!
Oh yeah Beetlejuice definitely counts as sci fi comedy
I was going to say it doesn’t, but I guess the DMV type waiting room probably throws it in to that category, doesn’t it?
Related, I’m drunk, and have to do manual labor tomorrow.
Hide the Ayo
There has to be a completely insane viewing party in Seattle right now. Why aren’t they cutting to it at all?
It took them like five minutes to show a replay of the final goal in the Bruins-Panthers game. They are not good at broadcasting hockey.
Bjorkstrand with another post. Unbelievable.
He’s leaving with a moral hat trick.
And a trip to the Semis.
Dude, I’m gonna get fucking hammered and listen to sci-fi music. This is gonna be the shit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTTAPCUtbc8
I’m about to text in out of the office tomorrow.
Assuming the clock starts working properly.
Major props to youtube for immediately following that with this. Not sci-fi but rocks.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjWd_7OzO84
You had me at ‘Hammered’
In honor of the Bruins season ending:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcUXbk-koGE
Oh, that 3-on-1…
&ct=g
In one minute on the East Coast:
Yeah
Pretty sure the clock is broken. It’s running way too slow right now.
The waiting IS the hardest part…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnTE1dlJCFA
Rikki, we’ve got a thread going on sci Fi comedies you forgot. Does Howard the Duck count?
I’m still here; it just got hidden behind the fold. Yeah, it absolutely counts.
Is the Rocky Horror Picture Show a comedy? Sort of.
If we’re not limiting it to movies, Red Dwarf and Futurama. If we *are* limiting it to movies, the Futurama movies.
Tomorrow’s mock draft is comedy, so keep your powder dry.
“Way ahead of you.” – Ben Shapiro’s wife
Oooh earth girls are easy
Would the Bill & Ted movies be sci fi? They’ve got time travel and robots
Absolutely
I would think so
And from a certain POV you could say Planet of the Apes is a comedy
They would be, Miss Blair Witch
Life of Brian counts because of that weird scene with the alien spaceship.
Amazon Women on the Moon, sort of.
Does “Brain Candy” count as Sci Fi?
Most definitely!
Just gave me an idea for my next song.
I want to rewatch The World’s End now
Check out this mixtape. I really love it. It’s possibly my favorite of the ones that Jack Feerick has done.
https://popdose.com/popdose-conceptual-theater-the-worlds-end/
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, again sort of.
Mars Attacks.
I always laugh at booing of obvious offside plays that are correctly overturned.
Hockey’s delayed offsides is absolutely the worst rule in sports.
Aside from the NFL rule about how vehicular homicide and spousal/child abuse is totes cool, of course.
Ruggs isn’t in the NFL right now, although that’s probably only because he’s still awaiting trial. I think that’s supposed to be in a few days actually
He’s under house arrest because they can’t find a judge to hear his case, in part because the judge who was supposed to hear his case ran for election by saying how tough he’d be on Henry Ruggs and therefore was disqualified from hearing any case involving Henry Ruggs.
That can’t be true. My esteem for lawyers and judges would be completely ruined learning this.
It is. I’m way too lazy, (drunk), to look it up now but I think I linked to the story in the last mock draft. Dead on actually real.
truly a Machiavellian smrtass
See, shit like this is why I don’t believe a word I hear in SCOTUS confirmation hearings
If you did before, you shouldn’t now.
That’s a kraken-sized VAR
Oh Fuck yes. All the way offsides!
They were interviewing a guy on the radio who wrote a book about Tim McVeigh’s links to right wing extremist movements, and he mentioned the ties between the Michigan Militia and the Gretchen Whitmer kidnapping plot so I’ve had the Moxy Fruvous song stuck in my head all day
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=deKRFMjQ5sY
Funny, I think of a completely different song
Someone mentioned midnight down below and we’re sometime around it so here’s to tWBS, who is surely looking down, (OK, possibly up) at us and giving is the double bird.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYPoMjR6-Ao