Monday Morning Mock Draft: Let’s Choose Our Words Wisely

Greetings, folks.  I was sort of stumped for a topic this week and was about to once again lean heavily on RTD or Scotchy, neither of whom gets enough credit for keeping this thing afloat every offseason.

Then I was watching an episode of Letterkenny where the women keep getting upset about words like ‘moist’ and it hit me:  draft the best words we can come up with!  Also don’t take ‘moist’; apparently that’s universally hated by the female gender, which is one of only (holds hand to earpiece)…ah, yes, I understand.

Apparently we’re not touching that subject with a 39 1/2 pole.

So, to the topic at hand, today you are drafting words.  You are not limited to English; if’n there’s one of them funny foreign words that tickles your fancy, you go right ahead and take it.  You do, however, need to know what that word means.  Once you have drafted that word you own it in all of its forms:  noun, verb, adjective, adverb, contraction, whatever.  Once the base word is drafted all variations from that base word are out.

You can use slang, so long as the slang use is generally recognized.  ‘Ain’t’ would qualify, for instance.

No proper names, unless drafted for a different meaning the name might also reflect.  For no reason whatever, for instance, ‘Kelly’ is both a proper name and a word used to reflect a shade of green.  So if someone wanted to draft the word Kelly for any reason that would be allowed.

With the first pick, and to no one’s surprise, I will take that most versatile of all words:

Fuck.

The rest of you are on the clock.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Insouciant

Gumbygirl

Woo, that is very suave and debonair!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[raises hand]

If we pick one word from a pair of homophones do we get the complementary word as well? Example: “air” and “err”.

ballsofsteelandfury

Know

Brick Meathook

Homophone:
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Doktor Zymm

Extortion. The x makes it sound cool

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“You can never have too many X’s in a word.”

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2Pack

Johnson

With springs into action example pic

FfIvWtZX0AIsW65.jpg
BugEyedBoo

Ancillary. I get to use that one and ‘deprecated’ at work.

Don T

clandestine

Uff, baybeh.

ballsofsteelandfury

Another fave (obvio):

Booty

Senor Weaselo
scotchnaut

“Squeamish” was a word I liked as a kid. Seemed perfect.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Indefatigable

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

3. “Boing”. Turns a humble nutshot into the sublime.

See the following for examples:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dZAwBcH4Kw

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Also it can signify an erection and that is good too.

Gumbygirl

Erection is a hilarious word. As the MAGA’s love to bray, you didn’t build that!

Gumbygirl

Antidisestablishmentarianism! Whew, now I need a nap!

Doktor Zymm

I had that as a spelling word in 4th grade

ballsofsteelandfury

A personal favourite:

Dildo

Gumbygirl

We learned a new word yesterday, but it’s not in the dictionary yet. YET! So I can’t choose Lowratio, shame. Instead, I choose the noble “spork.”

Mr. Ayo

That reminds of skorts.

Mr. Ayo

Zut Alors!

BugEyedBoo

diegetic

/I don’t even know what that means and I like it.

Doktor Zymm

WHEEEEEEEE!

Doktor Zymm
ballsofsteelandfury

The advantage is that the dwarf can do it standing up.

Redshirt

cromulent

BrettFavresColonoscopy

“Witchy”

Redshirt

I swear I checked before I sent this

Senor Weaselo

Cromulent.

BugEyedBoo

Best usage: perfectly cromulent.

Redshirt

I just had to be cute and draft redshirt first

DJ TAJ

I’ll take “Cuffed” lord knows I have been many times in many cities across this desperate country and I do rather enjoy being swatted with an open hand especially across me bum bum.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Sponge.

Just say it a couple times out loud.

Sponnnnnnggge.

It just feels good, right?

Sharkbait

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King Hippo

opiates

Game Time Decision

crapulent: relating to the drinking of alcohol or drunkenness.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’ll take “penultimate” because after getting called out on misusing it in high school, I haven’t misused it since.

Senor Weaselo

Wait, you’re voice of marble sports Greg Woods?

Doktor Zymm

Just like Heather with ‘myriad’!

Redshirt

Honest to God Literal Reaction:
(sees Balls’ last pick) “Oh, yeah!”

Redshirt

Redshirt
BugEyedBoo

Star Trek dead guy > guy sitting out until his balls drop.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Damn, pedantic was on my board.

ballsofsteelandfury

Duh, Balls!

ballsofsteelandfury

Includes all variations so football, baseball, basketball, etc are included

ballsofsteelandfury

Boo this man!

BugEyedBoo

redacted

Sharkbait

I’ll be cheeky and take cunt next.

LemonJello

2nd pick: cesspool

Oh, and convicted serial sexual abuser Larry Nasser was stabbed multiple times in prison, so there’s a ray of sunshine on this Monday.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Such a shame to see someone that penetrated people’s bodies without their consent ended up having his own body penetrated without consent.

Doktor Zymm

And Redshirt already took schadenfreude!

Sharkbait

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scotchnaut

Who doesn’t love a little onomatopoeia first thing in the morning?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9GqATedqPQ&ab_channel=Tamyka

Redshirt

I only took one day off and I fear the shitstain I’ll be returning to.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Peripatetic

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Last edited 1 year ago by BrettFavresColonoscopy
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

2. “Lunatic.” It’s fun to call people that (especially when they do wildly irrational things in poker games) and “lunacy” is also a very useful word.

BugEyedBoo

deprecated

ballsofsteelandfury

Second pick: sex

And that includes all its variations.

Doktor Zymm

Suckers!

LemonJello

You have Eli’s rapt attention, Dok.

King Hippo

chucklefuckery

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Assuming RTD’s query is answered in the affirmative, I’ll take “cock” and the variations I use a lot like cockgoblin, cocked it up, and cockmonger

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

grumble grumble this guy BFC i call him your mom cause it’s 6:39 in the morning here on the west coast and he’s already demanding cock grumble grumble

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[raises hand]

Does picking a word mean we get its variations, too? Like say if someone picked “trash” would that mean “trashy” is included and thus off the board?

ballsofsteelandfury

Yes, I believe so.

Redshirt

schadenfreude

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

1. Callipygian. Kinda surprised this wasn’t Balls’ first pick.

ballsofsteelandfury

I have never heard of it.

Redshirt

Ryan Leaf is on NFL Network? Did I wake up in an alternate reality again?

ballsofsteelandfury

Holy shit! No one has taken shit yet?

I’ll take (a) shit!

Sharkbait

Superfluous. I use that one a lot.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Defenestrate

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This is an excellent pick.

LemonJello

This should be interesting.

I’ll take “debauchery” with my first pick.