Greetings, folks. I was sort of stumped for a topic this week and was about to once again lean heavily on RTD or Scotchy, neither of whom gets enough credit for keeping this thing afloat every offseason.
Then I was watching an episode of Letterkenny where the women keep getting upset about words like ‘moist’ and it hit me: draft the best words we can come up with! Also don’t take ‘moist’; apparently that’s universally hated by the female gender, which is one of only (holds hand to earpiece)…ah, yes, I understand.
Apparently we’re not touching that subject with a 39 1/2 pole.
So, to the topic at hand, today you are drafting words. You are not limited to English; if’n there’s one of them funny foreign words that tickles your fancy, you go right ahead and take it. You do, however, need to know what that word means. Once you have drafted that word you own it in all of its forms: noun, verb, adjective, adverb, contraction, whatever. Once the base word is drafted all variations from that base word are out.
You can use slang, so long as the slang use is generally recognized. ‘Ain’t’ would qualify, for instance.
No proper names, unless drafted for a different meaning the name might also reflect. For no reason whatever, for instance, ‘Kelly’ is both a proper name and a word used to reflect a shade of green. So if someone wanted to draft the word Kelly for any reason that would be allowed.
With the first pick, and to no one’s surprise, I will take that most versatile of all words:
Fuck.
The rest of you are on the clock.
Insouciant
Woo, that is very suave and debonair!
[raises hand]
If we pick one word from a pair of homophones do we get the complementary word as well? Example: “air” and “err”.
Know
Thank you for that.
Homophone:
Extortion. The x makes it sound cool
“You can never have too many X’s in a word.”
Johnson
With springs into action example pic
“Unctuous”
Ancillary. I get to use that one and ‘deprecated’ at work.
clandestine
Uff, baybeh.
Another fave (obvio):
Booty
2nd pick: Inconceivable!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9MS2y2YU_o
“Squeamish” was a word I liked as a kid. Seemed perfect.
Indefatigable
3. “Boing”. Turns a humble nutshot into the sublime.
See the following for examples:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dZAwBcH4Kw
Also it can signify an erection and that is good too.
Erection is a hilarious word. As the MAGA’s love to bray, you didn’t build that!
Antidisestablishmentarianism! Whew, now I need a nap!
I had that as a spelling word in 4th grade
A personal favourite:
Dildo
We learned a new word yesterday, but it’s not in the dictionary yet. YET! So I can’t choose Lowratio, shame. Instead, I choose the noble “spork.”
That reminds of skorts.
Zut Alors!
diegetic
/I don’t even know what that means and I like it.
We go to the judges and…it’s good!
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/diegetic
WHEEEEEEEE!
I doubt that’s a word, but even I’m not pedantic enough to overrule an international assassin with her own island lair.
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/whee
It’s an interjection
Cunnilingus.
Fun to say, fun to do.
(braces for barrage of dwarf jokes)
The advantage is that the dwarf can do it standing up.
There it is.
cromulent
“Witchy”
By three minutes.
That’s bad hustle!
No wonder the kid from Ohio had to redshirt.
I swear I checked before I sent this
Cromulent.
I had to look this up, (it was on my draft board), and pleased to report that the OED now recognizes ‘cromulent’ as a legitimate word.
Best usage: perfectly cromulent.
I just had to be cute and draft redshirt first
It was a perfectly cromulent decision, but you have to live with the consequences.
I’ll take “Cuffed” lord knows I have been many times in many cities across this desperate country and I do rather enjoy being swatted with an open hand especially across me bum bum.
Sponge.
Just say it a couple times out loud.
Sponnnnnnggge.
It just feels good, right?
opiates
You know you just get the word, right?
crapulent: relating to the drinking of alcohol or drunkenness.
I’ll take “penultimate” because after getting called out on misusing it in high school, I haven’t misused it since.
What a pedantic school you must have gone to.
Wait, you’re voice of marble sports Greg Woods?
Just like Heather with ‘myriad’!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ux33LQxnd-s
Honest to God Literal Reaction:
(sees Balls’ last pick) “Oh, yeah!”
Redshirt
Are you drafting the word ‘redshirt’, and if so is that an actual word rather than a name?
Sorry, feeling the need to live up to pedant.
Yes. I checked first.
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/redshirt
Totally spaced on “redshirt” as it applies to college sports.
Shows what happens when I pay too much attention to work and not this, which is more important.
Star Trek dead guy > guy sitting out until his balls drop.
Related to my overruling Balls just now, “pedant”
Damn, pedantic was on my board.
Duh, Balls!
Includes all variations so football, baseball, basketball, etc are included
It absolutely does not.
Balls, ballsy, ballsiest, ballsier and the like are off the board.
Boo this man!
redacted
I’ll be cheeky and take cunt next.
2nd pick: cesspool
Oh, and convicted serial sexual abuser Larry Nasser was stabbed multiple times in prison, so there’s a ray of sunshine on this Monday.
Such a shame to see someone that penetrated people’s bodies without their consent ended up having his own body penetrated without consent.
And Redshirt already took schadenfreude!
Who doesn’t love a little onomatopoeia first thing in the morning?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9GqATedqPQ&ab_channel=Tamyka
“Cluster”
Mostly because I want to make sure I have ‘clusterfuck’ covered so I can accurately describe the work situation I have walked back into after having taken last week off.
I only took one day off and I fear the shitstain I’ll be returning to.
Three phone calls put on my scheduled first thing in the morning for things that came in while I was out and haven’t looked at and the other person is surprised we can’t do the call and when can we reschedule.
Motherfucker I am barely awake, have a week’s worth of emails and a day’s worth of mail to get through. I will call you, and the sooner you stop sending me emails and IMs the sooner I will call you.
Peripatetic
?w=356&zoom=2
2. “Lunatic.” It’s fun to call people that (especially when they do wildly irrational things in poker games) and “lunacy” is also a very useful word.
deprecated
Bob Huggins threatens lawsuit against West Virginia as ex-Mountaineers basketball coach seeks reinstatement – CBSSports.com
For some reason, the word “asshole” comes to mind.
Second pick: sex
And that includes all its variations.
Suckers!
You have Eli’s rapt attention, Dok.
chucklefuckery
Assuming RTD’s query is answered in the affirmative, I’ll take “cock” and the variations I use a lot like cockgoblin, cocked it up, and cockmonger
grumble grumble this guy BFC i call him your mom cause it’s 6:39 in the morning here on the west coast and he’s already demanding cock grumble grumble
Interesting.
Cock is a legitimate pick, but as I understand my wordsmithing something like ‘cocktail’ would still be on the board. A point that may be of interest to some of you.
[raises hand]
Does picking a word mean we get its variations, too? Like say if someone picked “trash” would that mean “trashy” is included and thus off the board?
Yes, I believe so.
That is correct, yes.
schadenfreude
Well, there goes my second pick. You can take some schadenfreude in that, I guess.
1. Callipygian. Kinda surprised this wasn’t Balls’ first pick.
I have never heard of it.
Ryan Leaf is on NFL Network? Did I wake up in an alternate reality again?
Holy shit! No one has taken shit yet?
I’ll take (a) shit!
Superfluous. I use that one a lot.
Defenestrate
This is an excellent pick.
/throws draft board out the window.
It sure is.
This should be interesting.
I’ll take “debauchery” with my first pick.