Holy shitsnacks, do we ever need MOAR meaningful footy in our lives. As y’all know, I hold a certain disdain for the Golden Shower Cup. Yet I still appreciate how the assdick USMNT lost in the semis to…like, maybe the 8th best Van Halen single?
Either Canalz FC or Mexico will now win the aforementioned Shower. I care not which, so long as it ain’t E.E.U.U. and its cringeworthy “ultras.” Epitomized by Alexi Lalas, who should be shoved inside an active volcano.
As I write this, Hippo has just concluded an epic battle with a “fast” housefly. Those of you who similarly detest vermin know what I mean. They anticipate your moves, refuse to sit still and/or just “go to the light.” Took like an hoUr of effoUrt, but the motherfucker is ded in my trashcan. WHERE HE BELONGS. Fucking asshole.
Four hours of late Friday afternoon heavy thunderstorms? #HippoHeaven, especially if the pending catnap is joined in by one or both cats. Kruger currently wants to go out, and is mad at me. Well, tough shit.
Everton managed a 2-1 win over sommet called Stade Nyonnais to start our pre-season. 17th is probably the Toffees absolute ceiling. Squad is so poor (and finances equally so) that I feel a little bad for #DoucheStrong. But Ayo is still Bastard Man.
Oh yeah, gotta run out and get a Powerball ticket, because THIS is the day for me.
At the start of the walk there was a guy with a boom box dancing with two absolutely stunning girls. They were on roller skates.
Did I stop for a minute and dance with them?
Yes. Yes I did.
Next time I see you, you better be wearing roller skates and dolphin shorts.
Dolphin shorts really need to come back.
I wore them for high school track and somehow looked less masculine than these two.
It’s my SIL’s 40 birthday. How do I know? She’s trumpeting the fact across every single social media account that she has. Did she show up to our house unannounced looking for attention? (she knows that her sister is on the East Coast) Yes. Did she drag her youngest daughter along on her ‘special journey’? Hell yeah. Jesus Christ. That kid is going to grow up thinking that being needy/thirsting for attention is the norm.
Much like the dreaded telephone…one ain’t required to answer the doorbell.
/though is probably considered rude on the order of “declaration of war” in Canadia
Oh, I never answer my door. Nothing good can come from answering the door.
I’ve been known to chase people off my front porch. Go. The. Fuck. Away.
The only creatures in our house that pay attention to the doorbell are canine.
THAT’S THEIR JOB
Thought exercise – if you HAD to pick somebody (semi-seriously) running for the GOP nomination…who would you pick to ACTUALLY become POTUS? This is sort of an inverse Sophie’s Choice, I guess.
I would choose Tim Scott, because I think he’s a decent human being. Just extremely conservative.
Jay Cutler.
I still think Romney would be a decent choice.
Mitt’s just an old-school garden-variety asshole Republican, who thinks he should get richer because his dad owned AMC.
So he sucks all the balls, but he’s much better than anything currently running on the GOP side.
Exactly
Abraham Lincoln.
THAT WOKE BASTARD RUINED THE SOUTH
He’s a total asshole, but Chris Christie can do bipartisan, plus there’s a reasonable chance he has a heart attack while in office
That pic always makes me feel better about downing a fifth beer.
Funny, that picture makes me need to down a fifth beer.
Tim Scott is terrible.
They all are, of course.
So I guess…Christie?
And I would take him over RFK and Cornel West too.
Jeb! But only if nobody claps until he says it during his speeches.
Most under-rated lead guitarist of the 80’s. Take your pick or add another
Berton Averre, The Knack
Charlie Burchill, Simple Minds
Will Sergeant, Echo and The Bunnymen
James Honeyman-Scott, The Pretenders
Eliot Eastman, The Cars
Mike Campbell, The Heartbreakers
Bruce Watson, Big Country
Adrian Belew, too many bands to mention
Chris Hayes, Huey Lewis & the News
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1PVrVJQoU8&ab_channel=adamweishaupt81
YOU’RE INCREDIBLY WRONG EVEN THOUGH I EXPLICITLY ASKED FOR OTHER OPTIONS!*
*this comment is inspired by every Twitter and Reddit comment thread I’ve ever bothered to read
Johnny Marr, The Smiths
Is he under rated though?
I think he was at the time. Only really started to hear about him as an individual artist this century.
Might just be I wasn’t that plugged in, etc.
Both guitarists for Echo are incredible and even better together.
Submitted for your approval.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1B6LrOmNsg
/thinks about Bedbugs and Ballyhoo, realizes the excellence of yr’s pick
James Honeyman-Scott was amazing and should have not been introduced to heroin.
The perfect song is Message of Love.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlOV6ywJt7s&ab_channel=Pretenders
No specific quarrel. The first two Pretenders albums are masterpieces.
Yes! This is my favorite, makes me want to do the Cuban Slide, Slide Slide!
https://youtu.be/TEYGyfkULB0
I’m partial to this one, but there are no wrong answers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yog-meAq1so&pp=ygUdcHJldGVuZGVycyB0YXR0b29lZCBsb3ZlIGJveXM%3D
Ringo Starr
This little North Korean motherfucker right here:
Or maybe this guy?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Eh6_FFUSg4
Peter Buck, REM
Note the actual “weather” in the top right.
This is in LA? I thought it was only supposed to get that bad further inland, like Palm Springs and Sacramento and such. Oh well, all the better that I’m in Greenland where the temp is half that!
Pedro is sitting pretty at exactly 70 degrees with a light wind from the southeast.
That walk was life affirming.
That’s flyover country weather (east of PCH).
Oh, sorry – I didn’t realize it wasn’t in the graphic – this is for Palm Springs.
It’s like 70 (22C) here but feels like 84(30C) with the humidity
What is this “humidity” that you speak of?
I take issue with those ‘feels like’ ratings. Yes, it feels hotter when it’s humid because your sweat doesn’t evaporate, but it’s actually far more unpleasant than the temperature it supposedly feels like.
Laying on my back with this package of bratwurst I just pulled out of the deep freezer to defrost resting on my chest is quite possibly the best idea I have had in my whole life.
-Bran Van 3000, The Remix
This is how I look right now, except the grapes are bratwurst.
“You have how many wieners on your chest?”
RTD: Five, Senator.
LADY G: That many, huh? [laughs dismissively]
Go ahead and put a slightly damp t-shirt in the freezer for later
Midnight Run is Planes, Trains and Automobiles on steroids. Let me explain. The latter was released a year earlier and is very good, of course. The former takes the same concept and raises it by several degrees. So many more subplots, so many more memorable lines, so many more ancillary characters that have competing agendas. Here’s Dennis Farina’s menacing character making mincemeat out of DeNiro.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMmwJiVJTw4&ab_channel=DreamyWolf
Farina made every movie he was in better.
He was awesome in Snatch
“Tell me, Ray, do you ever wear one that says ‘Undercover’?”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2MCNKwrKE8
Man, I need to quit playing so much Footy Manager and watch some movies or sommet.
/immediately goes back to playing Footy Manager
We’re only a couple of months away from Footy Manager crossing over with Warhammer, 40,000 years in the future.
In the Far Future, there is only War, and rumoUrs of money-spinning transfers
Yes, this is the way. I’m gonna play so much Civ when I get home
My nephew and his crew just finished this.
https://www.capeannrowingclub.com/race-overview-blackburn-challenge
Meanwhile I am having trouble walking because I somehow strained my calf while sleeping.
Apparently the calf thing is super common. Stay hydrated and don’t sleep on your stomach for prevention.
Also, hehe, ‘coxswain’
I’m going to Five Guys right now in honor of your nephew and his crew
My sister says he’s exhausted so they stopped for clam rolls.
I replied that, after rowing 20 miles, he deserved a couple of beers.
Sister: He’s 16!
Me: I said what I said.
“And I mean it.”
Don’t go off-trail kids! Ya know, unless it looks like fun and you have good cell reception so you’ll be able to call for help on the off-chance you don’t manage to pick your way down that steep, rocky, mossy hillside safely.
Who has two thumbs and a belly full of WAY too much Chick-fil-A?
[starts looking at candidates]
“Ok, definitely not Jason Pierre Paul… I’m going with my default answer-Andy Reid?”
But Andy never has reached the “I’ve had enough” level, let alone “way too much.”
My joke is flawed. I feel shame.
Contrary to my hopes, the weights didn’t lift themselves. But now I’m done, and I can kick back and enjoy some…[checks ESPN]…Padres at Phillies baseball!
That’s a pretty shit reward for lifting weights!
In physics terms you didn’t do any work!
That’s not true, the weights didn’t end up back in the same place!
Congratulations on doing a small amount of work and also being untidy!
Not even untidy! They started at a lower rack position and ended at a higher rack position (because that higher rack position is where the bar needs to be for my next workout). They have more potential energy now!
OK, listen up you California people. My wife is trying to sell a house, and every time she has an open house, like today, it rains and no one shows up. So here’s the deal: for $775,000 you get something like 20 acres and a man-made pond, plus you get the houses which I’ve seen and which is really big and comes with a detached 3-car garage.
Look let’s face the facts: California is, thanks to global warming, about to become an unlivable hellscape, and the housing prices are still out-of-control. This house would costs you millions in California, and it would still burn down in a brush fire once every three years. Also thanks to global warming Connecticut will probably have Southern California’s climate, (does some quick calculations), possibly by next Tuesday.
So do me a favor and emigrate from your doomed and expensive state and buy this house from my wife. I will be eternally grateful.
How’s the trash disposal service?
Still leave it for the raccoons and bears or drive it to the dump?
You can do either.
“Sorry, I’d much prefer an engaged 3-car garage. The garage has to want it.”
-typical Californian
How many blocks to the beach?
Currently quite a while, but the way those ice caps are melting I’m thinking it’ll be waterfront property in the very near, and very dystopian, future.
why don’t you put a link to it? I’ll buy it with my lottery winnings.
Sounds like it would make a neat cult compound, too. All sorts of shit you can accomplish with 9-figure winnings, yo
A real life DFO Clubhouse!
I’ve got my downpayment:
OK, I’ll toss my Mega Millions ticket, so long as everyone else respects my claim to the Powerball jackpot.
Is that tonight? I bought a ticket.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1aYN5XpWzpM
How is the runaway cow situation?
How far to a decent taco place?
Ugh! Don’t even get him started on pizza.
My daughter’s in New Haven today, too. I’m already jealous.
5-10 minutes.
https://maps.apple.com/place?q=A%20Mano%20Taco%20Shop&ll=41.714130293639286%2C-72.21690058708191&auid=16787529115976832114&lsp=9902&address=45%20High%20St%2C%20Willimantic%2C%20CT%20%2006226%2C%20United%20States
Is there a house dwarf included or is that extra
We’ll grow oranges in Alaska.
It’s like living in a lava lamp.
Old Man Yells at Cloud Moment!
Good Christ, when our generation dies out, the world will end. This group of 20-somethings thinks its a Sisyphus-calibre task to do ANYTHING for themselves.
This has been a Public Service Announcement, now git off-a mah lawn
I don’t know if anyone here plays Immaculate Grid, but man, do I not know about players who played outside the East.
Update: The answers are, as always, Edwin Jackson and/or Octavio Dotel.
All
Day
Yard work.
Much better than than this guy.
Some all day music to go with the all day yardwork. Stay hydrated, interwebs chum!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=coHUt4si8Oo
All right just one more procrastination task left – watering the garden – and then I gotta lift some weights.
Stretching it out for a harbor walk. It’s not even 70 here and there’s a low lying ground fog.
As long as the ocean stays cool we stay cool.
Still eyeing Lompoc as a future home.
You could watch the launches from Vandenberg. SLO was really nice when we last visited.
Well, someone’s getting a shitty tattoo that says “Wimlebon” across her shoulder blades tonight.
Hey, go easy on the poor girl. I think it’s quite an achievement for someone who obviously just got out of prison.
Fuckin’ announcers. Talking about how Jabeur expected to come into the final and start strong…”didn’t happen.” SHE WAS UP A BREAK AT 3-1!
Last night eldest son and I did our swim to the middle of the lake and then threw some gas onto a pile of pallets and had us a nice bonfire.
/later
Me: “You want another beer?”
Him: “It’s getting late, I should go to bed.”
Me: “Late? What time is it, like midnight?”
Him: [incredulous] “It’s 3:15!”
Me: “Oh shit…”
One the Wimbledon front, Vondrousova’s tattoos make her look like a pledge who passed out at a sorority party.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAZfcHcLHbw&ab_channel=AdultSwim
“Day 1 at Turn & Fucking Grab School”
How many dicks?
A lot.
Doing the 5th bday for the kid today. Exciting moment though I’ll be glad when it’s all finally over and i can take a brief nap. I’ve had this bitch penciled in for like two weeks and I am toast.
The party is at one of those indoor jungle gym places. I wonder if i would be able to sneak off and just sleep there as well?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5u_cB6zANXo
If you don’t mind a substantial risk of being stepped on, and the place as a ball pit, you should be able to disappear for quite a while.
If the set has one of those tube obstacles just crawl in there and catch some rack.
I’m discovering this venue is not ‘elite’ indoor playgrounding. Hiding will not be an option.
Maybe there will be a fire…
Years ago I worked at a summer camp for profoundly disabled kids. We were paired one on one. My camper was a 9 year old girl named Jamika, who had a catastrophic birth injury that left her with the mental capacity of a toddler. She was nonverbal, except she could say fruit loops. For everything! She was a sweet girl, I loved her. We took the kids to one of those indoor gyms, and Jamika headed up those tubes to the tippy top one, and then she sat there in the middle of it so none of the other kids could get around her. For what seemed like hours. She thought it was hilarious. Eventually I had to crawl my way up there and lure her down with candy.
“Man, I’ve been there…” – Olivia Manning, thinking about the start of training camp in 2008.
Just imagine ever ONCE getting this comfortable…
In a few hours my Lily will be looking like that. It’s supposed to be above ninety here every day for the next two weeks.
Good thing you got the ocean.
Awwww. Looks like Kruger is resigned to being inside for the time being.
yup, it’s late afternoon/evening when he wants to patrol his territory
He’s a cute lil crepuscular kitteh cat.
KRUGER! I want to scritch his belly!
Kitteh bellies are usually a trap, but totally worth it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1auPcxhVDWM&ab_channel=EvertonFootballClub
Can’t complain about the scenery.
Stade Nyonnais!? A legit team would play a friendly with Real Aioli.
Followed by a friendly against Dijon United.
Thank you! Somebody finally gets the joke.
/I’m trying to secure funding for The Condiment Cup
//the Saudis have shown some interest
///typical of them to engage in this sort of sauce-washing
It takes us awhile to ketchup.
[audible groan]*
*but in a good way!
It should be called the Bearnaise Cup.