Your Treasured Sunday Night NFL Football Open Thread

We’ve been through a lot, you and me and Scott Hansen, haven’t we? But it’s not quite over just yet-a tasty NFC East scuffle is before our very eyebulbs.

To the Game!

Cowboys/Giants:

-Stinking Dallas has had New York’s number recently, having won 11 of the last 12 ‘showdowns’. (hard to call it that when one of the participants has been so inept)

-Waller’s hammy-from everything I’ve read-doesn’t seem to concern coaches and training staff that much. He reported tightness on Friday so was given a break as a precaution. As indicated in training camp, a fair amount of things the Giants want to do on offense depend on him being on the field-not necessarily catching the ball per se but just having the D account for him.

-Look for some hot shots downfield headed towards rookie Jalin Hyatt. He’s a fella with 4.38 speed, the likes of which New York hasn’t seen in quite some time. Though the sample is quite small relative to other qb’s, Dimes is very accurate on throws of 20+ yards.

-Deuce Vaughn, (I shall call him Shrimp Toast) the 5’5″, 173 pound rookie running back on the Cowboys seems to be just the kind of player that will befuddle the Giants D. He’ll follow in the fine tradition of Jason Witten, D-Jax and Boston Scott as a talent that New York has no answer for. I’m not looking forward to the next half decade or so.

-As noted in my Giants preview, the D is going to start two rookies (Banks and Hawkins) as boundary cornerbacks. I’m sure they’ll be fine at some point but at times it’s going to be painful to watch. This scenario is what happens when you have a dearth of talent at one position so it’s somewhat expected.

Do it.

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Spur

Dallas Defense is the most dangerous unit. Am loving this

Horatio Cornblower

Did someone say “most dangerous unit”?

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Last edited 1 year ago by Horatio Cornblower
BrettFavresColonoscopy

That pass drop forced by the ghost of Jason Witten

LemonJello

One of those pages McCarthy’s looking at has the full Blue Bunny product line on it.

Spur

cherries and cream is game changer

fleshwound_NPG

this is why belichick cant win anymore, all his spying is revealing all the coaches now have menus on their playsheets

Horatio Cornblower

“Mike McCarthy has a few tricks up his sleeve”

Yeah, they’re called ‘punts’

LemonJello

His pockets are filled with ice cream treat wrappers.

WCS

This has been the worst thing to happen in New York on September 10.

King Hippo

Are the Vertically Enhanced Persons like, all pre-hungover for 9/11 or what??

Horatio Cornblower

They’re crumbling in solidarity.

Horatio Cornblower

So far Mike McCarthy’s best play has been “get a PI on the rookie CB,” so I’d say things are living up to expectations.

Spur

and? thats been a staple for the AFC West

Spur

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Spur

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JustStopDude

Oh now Marshawn Lynch wants to talk to the media…

LemonJello

He’s just there to cash that check.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Good for him

ThePirateSloth

In New Jersey, Bell rings you!

Spur

am thinking Shiner bock

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This game doesn’t deserve a good beer. I’m drinking dregs that shouldn’t be in the fridge anymore.

JustStopDude

Antifreeze it is then…

Spur

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Mr. Ayo

Let’s not forget, folks, that the P*ts were down 16-0 early and nearly won. Neither of these teams can be trusted.

JustStopDude

I only watch TV for sports. I have no idea why, but NBC ‘s commercials make me feel like I’m in Estonia and watching the commercials.

Horatio Cornblower

The Dallas defense and special teams need to stop scoring and let the offense get on the field so the defense can get a break.

Redshirt

.

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Spur

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LemonJello

If you’re the praying type, please pray for the hobo population of Ontario,Canada if this game continues along its current course.

Spur

Beat the traffic folks. head out now

ThePirateSloth

lol Giants

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ask for derp and derp I shall receive, apparently

fleshwound_NPG

this lead would be insurmountable if mccarthy was not the cowboys coach

Spur

pic 6

Mr. Ayo

SUDDEN CHANGE!

LOLOLOLOL

JustStopDude

Oh…oh my…

LemonJello

BLEERGH is a ravenous god and demands to be fed.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

All the flags in Raiders-Broncos just made him hungrier for more.

JustStopDude

Is this offensive line consisting of walk ons?

LemonJello

Whatever it is, it sure is offensive.

ThePirateSloth

FUCK YOU don’t you dare use The Goonies music for anything that doesn’t involve Pirates

Spur

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Spur

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

As long as Pollard doesn’t score more than 51 points, I’m good this week.

So the derpier the game, the better.

LemonJello

Eli looks up from his milk, oreos and coloring book, as if hearing his name being called across the cosmos

ThePirateSloth

I want to laugh at the Giants, but I hate the Cowboys so much that I can’t even give them that.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Pizza has arrived and isn’t even room temperature.

Bring back vertically integrated 30 minutes or less pizza delivery companies.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

For the record, I knew this would happen and wanted to order from somewhere else where I could pick it up myself, but world peace starts at home.

Horatio Cornblower

Mike McCarthy back to what made him successful, calling the plays on offense.

/First play is a 3-yard dump-off to the TE.

Mike McCarthy: nailed it!

JustStopDude

That was an interesting commercial. Maybe I am in the market for a nuclear ballistic submarine. Anyone know what the 2023 MSRP’s are at?

Brick Meathook

I’ll run it for you if you get one.

JustStopDude

I do miss being surrounded by seamen like I was in the navy.

Brick Meathook

It ain’t gay if you’re underway.

fleshwound_NPG

“it aint gay if youre anchors aweigh” was sitting right there!

JustStopDude

Away from the pier, it ain’t queer.

We had a kid in my division. His nickname was “Christmas” because he was so much fun tormenting put to sea. He was a rampant homophobe.

I have no earthly idea why he picked the navy.

Gumbygirl

150 men go down, 75 couples come up.

fleshwound_NPG

just slightly more than a new car right now

Horatio Cornblower

Gee, if only we have several submariners and/or spouses of submariners within the collective.

/pours one out for VTR

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sir, call them seamen like the seaman did.

LemonJello

A Sub Mariner, you said?

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LemonJello

“DIDJA ALL SEE MY GOTTDAMMED STAR? YEEEEHAAAAWWWWW WE’RE GOIN’ TO THE SUPERBOWL AND I AM FUCKIN’ CRAZY!!!!!!”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

NGL, I enjoyed that Fitzmagic commercial

Mr. Ayo

Wait, is that the first time you’ve seen it? I’m already around 50 viewings and I am NAWT enjoying it.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yeah, I’ve been able to avoid it, mainly because my nervous system has a Kevin Hart warning and avoidance program in place.

Spur

Micah!!!!!!!!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

A cromulent announcer would have explained that it wasn’t the pulling guard’s fault, but sure, let’s just move on.

Spur

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JustStopDude

That is some quality “LOOK OUT” blocking by the Giants.

Horatio Cornblower

I have had so much fried chicken and beer so far tonight. And sides.

Much like the Bengals, don’t expect much from me tonight other than a likely debacle involving Browns.

Redshirt

At least with all the grease and booze, you’ll have better luck passing than Burrow did.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

See, in Dallas they can’t even spell ignominy correctly.

JustStopDude

That was quite the two “special” teams plays.

fleshwound_NPG

primetime nfc east games will always be an adventure

Redshirt

That sequence was Peak NFL East.

LemonJello

Cue up Yakety Sax!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just like the NYPD, they’re shooting themselves in the foot without any accountability whatsoever.

Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

— B. Walsh