Your Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

A medical appointment and getting caught up at work means this post will be shoddier than usual. Enjoy the (shortened) ride.

Gah! Just gah! This game is not going to be pretty.

Silly Tidbits:

-Thanks to BFC for pointing this out to me. The Bears cut Nathan Peterman only to sign him again the next day. Bears front office playing 9th dimensional chess with other teams in the league? Nope, you guessed it, they screwed up. A beat writer has claimed that they needed to open a spot for a practice squad fella on another team but it didn’t happen. Embarrassing silliness aside, one could make the tired point that crappy qb’s just get recycled constantly. (I’ve said it before many times) But no, the fact is that NATHAN PETERMAN WILL NOT BE DENIED HIS RIGHTFUL PLACE AS THE QUARTERBACK ON THE SCOUT TEAM. THIS IS HIS DESTINY! Spotrac tells me he’s made about 7 million coins since being drafted-it’s a good job if you can get it.

-Burrow is still day-to-day and so is Redshirt.

-Cam Akers heads to the Vikes. The Mattison Era lasted a mere two weeks, though coaches say they still love their ex-president.

To The Game!

-The spread is 10.5.

-These teams have played 34 times in the regular season and they are tied at 17 wins apiece. So I guess the deciding factor would be playoff wins, correct? Uh, they’re tied at 4 wins each.

-Aiyuk is out and fantasy blabbers either say, 1.) Kittle going to have himself a day! or 2.) They have so many weapons it’s anyone’s guess.

-Danny Dimes rushing prop bet is in the area of 37.5 to 39.5. I think he’ll reach that just scrambling for his life, never mind designed runs.

-The only weakness of the Niners D seems to be longer passes outside the hashmarks-look for a few shot plays to Slayton and rookie Julian Hyatt.

-But really, with Saquon out and two starters on a below average o-line sitting out, this might be over as soon as San Franny gets up by two scores.

Poop.

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blaxabbath
BugEyedBoo

“And some, I assume, are good people.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I assume at some point there’s a “making it rain” scene with rolls of paper towels?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
LemonJello

OK. This makes me like him even more.

Brick Meathook

I don’t mind the bad football games, but the commercials during football games seem to be set on a different planet than I live on.

clint greasewood

Just looked at Sundays late slate
Chicago @ Kansas City
Carolina @ Seattle
Dallas @ Arizona 
I might actually shit done around the house.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hey, it’s our job to shit all over the place.

–Da Bears

King Hippo

Waller garbage thyme plz

litre_cola

I can get behind this

Brick Meathook

So what is this thing you are talking about watching? I love Hippo-speak but in English this time por favor.

fleshwound_NPG

get the daily danny derp outta the way so we can wrap this one up

fleshwound_NPG

[yakko warner voice]

*blows kiss* gooooodnight, everybody!

Brick Meathook

Another Harvard man!

Brick Meathook

Was it the goat curry?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Deebo Samuel breaking tackles, yards after contact, and ribs.

Gumbygirl

Gumby has him on his fantasy team, he is happy!

BugEyedBoo

On my team too, and I am happy!

Redshirt

Bengals up against nightmare situation at quarterback (msn.com)

Well I gotta get some rest. I think I just became the Bengals backup QB.

Brick Meathook

I dunno it seems like a pretty easy job

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m willing to facilitate a Nathan Peterman trade.

litre_cola

Go on, goat is delish.

Brick Meathook

Good luck. We hardly knew ye.

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

My favorite flashlight:

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Brick Meathook

My second favorite flashlight:

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Brick Meathook

Here are some stamps I own. For my corporation I have to keep certain paper bills filed so I like to stamp them PAID. For the rare paper checks (cheques) I receive, I photo deposit them on my phone, then I stamp them DEPOSITED, then I let them sit on a desk for three days, then I shred them.

But boy do I love stamping things. It’s pretty cool.

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Gumbygirl

That was my favorite thing when I was a postal clerk. We had racks of weird old ones.

Mr. Ayo

Lovely collection, Brick. Thanks for sharing.

Brick Meathook

Way more where that came from. I’m a collector, but most definitely not a hoarder. All my stuff is indexed and re-sellable. Plus it all makes sense.

ballsofsteelandfury

I have that!!

Brick Meathook

In Commonwealth countries this is called a “torch.”

Redshirt

DANIEL JONES
used DIG.

It’s not very effective…

fleshwound_NPG

ah, i see this game was written before the strike

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Redshirt

If I was on a team, I’d have a reserve DL destroy him on a late hit and pay for his lost salary on any ensuing fine or suspension.

fleshwound_NPG

but if he stays heathy, the he and the browns keep losing

fleshwound_NPG

i dropped the L, watson picked it up

2Pack

Ouch

Brick Meathook

Ryan Fitzpatrick’s hipster schtick is wearing kind of thin.

Brick Meathook

He’s no Dan Haggerty that’s for sure (who famously set his beard on fire)

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herodotus450

TBF it was soaked in gin at the time

Redshirt

We’ve reached the point where he’s starting to believe his own crap. Its all downhill from here.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

He knows he has a very limited window to cash in and then the money train derails. I’m all for it. As would Jalen Ramsey.

Gumbygirl

Did Herb just say that last unneccessary roughness penalty was unneccessary? My brain hurts, I need to soothe it with some indica.

WCS

I get it now. The Giants are honoring the Houston 500s inaugural season all year.

LemonJello

The who?

litre_cola

Just fucking taking it.

King Hippo

Waller clean sheet avoided!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Shouldn’t you be sleeping?

King Hippo

Fixture is too close

fleshwound_NPG

gints now averaging 1.0 PPG in the 1st half of games this season. progress!

fleshwound_NPG

2.0 PPG!

Brick Meathook

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WCS

Everyone’s having a great time!

Brick Meathook

Especially Luca

Brick Meathook

I meant especially the guy strangling Luca

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Comes with a free row boat!

WCS

Brian Daboll is channeling his inner Dick Jauron this so far this season.

LemonJello

So, reverse of last week for the Jints? A cromulent 1st half followed by an ass-blasting 2nd that even the bears in the Tenderloin would be aghast at?

WCS

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fleshwound_NPG

15 yards for not defying gravity and/or being too heavy

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I wish there was some way of letting the NFL know what we’ve switched the channel to when we leave the game. Right now it’s “The Ultimatum”, but later on it will be Riverdale.

litre_cola

Ok, so now Deebo is a shoe in for the setter for Mens Vball?

Also is Ronnie Bell part of Bell Biv Devoe?

jjfozz

The game that taught kids how to be complete assholes to their friends.

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fleshwound_NPG

“I feel like they should re-shape those stars a bit.”

-N. Bosa

King Hippo

Before you know it, you’ll be fingering each other’s girlfriends!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We should get Alex DeMote to do a reboot of this game and call it “Canada”.

Redshirt

This is my dad favorite game. You are absolutely correct.

King Hippo

As a Terrell Davis homer, enjoying this “one cut” running.

fleshwound_NPG

over/under number of passes by purdy that goes through the air over 15 yards

1.5

WCS

UNDER

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[holds envelope to forehead]

“Where in relation to the table can Lowratio be found?”

Spur

Game over.
Dimebag is going to get his brains spilled all over that field.

WCS

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Brick Meathook

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fleshwound_NPG

feel like the space bar needs to be at least 10 ft long

WCS

— spoken to the blood-splattered entrails of someone who won’t be missed

jjfozz

This was one hell of a game. You used ball bearings to shoot down the opponent’s plane. The dog accidentally ate a bunch and then shit them out. So . . . we fed her a few because we wanted to see it happen again.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This is the most eye-gougingly insane thing I have ever seen.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Like, they should literally call it “You’ll Shoot Your Eye Out: The Game”.

jjfozz

It was fantastic. It’s $399 on eBay. I might buy it. I can play it on the streets after I get kicked out of the house.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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I’m told Cannanadi(u)ns will find this amusing.

WCS

I’m nout Canandiaun, thouguh.

litre_cola

You like hockey, you good.

/please start capitalizing the U’s

WCS

MUy aUpoUloUgiUeUs

litre_cola

The place is fucking embarrassing but Murray Edwards the owner of the Flames just grifted the fuck out of the provincial government. It is infuriating. I am all for sports but public funds get fucked. FUUUCCKKKK.