There’s four games on this slate with two of them being interesting. And then there’s that one stinker. I’ll start with that one.
To The Games!
Jets/Broncos:
It’s Pity Watch Time! I imagine there are parts of the country that only get this abomination and I laugh. The best I can do is hope it’s places like Idaho or Alabama, spots that deserve this travesty. Hall has the reins off apparently so he should have a lovely outing vs a team with the worst run D in the league.
Bengals/Cards:
Cincy can’t go 1-4, can they? There’s just so much talent. (although Higgins is taking a knee for this tilt) Though here’s a troubling nuggetty pair of numbers: the Bengals are 31st in rush D and Arizona is second in rush yards per attempt at 5.3. That d-line has some work to do. Kudos to Dobbs-for playing competently and not following the tanking script to the letter. Though they only have the one win he’s looked just fine.
Eagles/Rams:
Will Philly get 400 yards of offense for the fourth game in a row and for the 14th time since the beginning of last year? What is Kupp’s snap count going to look like? Has he been rushed back? How will this affect Puka? (probably not much, I’m thinking) Will Stafford throw 3 TD’s thus doubling his output for the season? The Eagles secondary is the weakest link of the entire team in that they’ve given up 9 TD’s to date and the only teams that have given up more are Denver and Chicago.
Chiefs/Vikes:
There’s only one team that Patty hasn’t beaten and I bet you know which one it is now. Our favorite Kermit look-alike has only gone for 300 yards once this season but he should double that total vs a Minny team that is 21st in opposing team’s QBR. His counterpart across the field just keeps rambling on. Cousins has tossed a minimum of 2 TD’s every game and has 11 on the season. Maybe that’s why the over/under is sitting at 52.5
Do your thing.
LOSING TO NATHANIEL HACKETT. THIS IS JUST GODDAMNED FINE.
Would be MUCH moar honorable to lose to Nathaniel Greene
Perhaps less so to lose to Buddy Hackett.
Lazard leading the Jets in receiving with 33 yards seems right on the money.
So with the current 50% off NFL plus deal on right now, I’ve got Red Zone, all prime time games, and some local games, plus the full 22 replays for the entire season for a grand total of $49.95
I’m feeling pretty smug about that
Start with a two-ply layer of bacon on toasted and buttered whole wheat.
Then go all in with a fried egg, fresh cracked pepper, and some more butter.
I call this sandwich “The Charles Bronson” because it is a Death Wish.
More or less salt than those 3 hot dogs you had the other day?
Probably a lot less, because those hot dogs were salt bombs. It’s a good thing I’m immortal.
It’s fine. He uses unsalted butter. [plaintive voice] “You do use unsalted butter, Brick? Don’t you? Tell me that you do. Please.”
“Unsalted? Butter? Why, yes I do . . .”
Chase going bananacakes might just save me in Freezer Vodka.
I was really enjoying watching that run until the dumb hall pass joke
Kelce got a double dose of Ketamine in the locker room to come out for the 2nd half.
taylor swift about to learn about the drug use of football
This should go well!
The Heroine Era!
Meanwhile, in the ____shirt household…
THESE VIKINGS, I CALL THEM YEAH RIGHT BECAUSE THEY’RE DOING JUST AS WELL AS ALL THOSE CHEFS THEY’RE COMPETING AGAINST
I picked the Chefs in my Survivor pool-hope it turns out better than my last choice, Anthony Bourdain.
How many people are left in that?
It’s part of the “Math Hard!” league, not the DFO one.
Goodell frantically on the phone trying to setup Taylor with TJ Hockenson
Turns out Swifty is the Shailene Woodley of Jessica Simpsons.
More of that, if you please?
both qaron rodgers and kelce doing the biggest starfucker look-at-me bullshit imaginable (rodgers with his will-he-or-wont-he bullshit and going to new york, kelce with this swift bullshit) getting swallowed whole by the field turf monster is probably the best proof we have that god exists
God, we’re not even going to get an album out of this, are we?
Tay-tay has been draining Kelce of his precious bodily fluids and essence!
it was NEVER going to end well with kelce, field turf monster or not
Is Taylor Swift okay????
“A trusted source has told me that she’s shaking it off and will be ready next week.”
-A. Schefter, NFL entertainment reporter
LOL Jets
Evergreen
NAWT A CATCH
FACK YOU REFS
Mahomes always looks like he has to poop out there on the field
I can’t wait for his post-retirement probiotic commercials
How can Nacua be almost as proficient a route runner as Kupp as a fucking rookie?
field turf monster is 2 for 2 this year in destroying the biggest stories of the nfl
Uh-oh Kelce go boom-boom without Tay-Tay!
kelce…dead?
Taylor writing the next Sad Fox Injury song
Bunges-Qards has seen more zaniness since the two-minute warning than the combined 28 minutes of game before it.
It’s like A Night At The Opera!*
*the very rare “granddad” joke
The Marx Brothers are immortal. If any of you youngin’s don’t know about them, your store could use some fixing.
Bengals…lead?
SUDDEN CHANGE
We need an “OUT OF ORDER” sign to put up on the Bungles-Qards.
Some say Redshirt’s heart medication grew five sizes that day…
GO FOR IT YOU PUSSIES
-Kevin McCarthy, throwing double birds at Matt Gaetz entering the House chamber
Pukadown!
He’s ‘shelling’ the opposition, get it?
What a pukka joke!
Indeed, memsahib!
Ciabatta roll, toasted, half with butter, half with brie. Broccoli florets with garlic hummus. Macadamia nuts. Maxville Cab Franc. Quality lunch.
I’m eating lime and jalapeno Ruffles with cilantro and avocado yogurt dip. I was pretty damn happy with that before I saw what you’re having, lol. But Gumby is making his meatloaf tonight, so all is not lost!
I’ve gotten good at making no-cook meals almost entirely out of stuff from Trader Joes
They have great snacky stuff. I haven’t been for a few months, I’m overdue. Maybe I’ll go after the headbangers go home, like Tuesday or so.
7-5? I guess the Jets missed the conversion on their try
MILF-Hunter Z’s one week of competence looks like it shall be an outlier.
He couldn’t sleep last night after hearing about all those Cougars out in Colorado
I was at the hair salon yesterday and Brenda was bragging to her friends about ‘tossing him around like a throw pillow’ the other night.
Oh, that’s right. Our defense sucks ass.
I CALL BRICK A TAMMANY HALL OFFICIAL BECAUSE HE’S GOT ENOUGH PORK TO SATISFY ALL HIS FRIENDS!
Michael Bidwill’s sexuality aside, Redshirt has his pitchfork ready to drive Zac Taylor into the Ohio River.
.
Well, that’s probably not good for Fiji’s momentum going into the quarterfinals.
Greetings y’all! I spent the morning getting healthy exercise outdoors, which looks to be more than most of the players on my Vodka league fantasy team did, so I’m feeling pretty good about that. Time for lunch and/or wine with some Red Zone!
First round finished:
Next round ready to go:
Breakfast buffets are my heaven. Specifically, unholy amounts of bacon and grapefruit. I hope the grease and the acidity balance one another out.
This all has a goal. If I even have a small bite of one slice right now, the whole thing will be gone. But there are a few slices budgeted for me as soon as the rest are safe.
Are you thinking BLT?
Yes, my famous BLT without the LT, heavy on the mayo. On lightly toasted whole wheat. But only one because that will kill you.
THIS BRICK’S BLT, I CALL IT SLIM SHADY, BECAUSE IT WILL FUCKING KILL YOU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUYlhhyXY5s
LOVE this McLaughlin kid. HATE that I ain’t have the bollocks to start him on EITHER fantasy squadron.
Heard he’s in a band with a bunch of stodgy old guys-they call themselves The McLaughlin Group.
Me: “One of the best wr trios this year is going to be Kupp, Tutu Atwell and Puka Nacua.”
Attendant: “Good news! The doctor has decided to increase your medications.”
Where did you get a picture of Hippo???
ah have indeed had some varietal of sideburns for the last 30+ years
OH SWEET HEAVENLY CHRIST
Who’s going to the glue factory now?
YES
(specifically, Mims going into doghouse)
Well, yeah right can start cooking early.
MANGO COLOUR RUSH WOO!!!
Kupp with 3 catches already. Philly cb’s are going to be shellshocked.
4 catches and 3 of them have been on the exact same route.
Ready for the oven, 400ºF
You baking bacon?
Yep. The directions are on every package of bacon. Vastly superior to stove top, unless you’re at a campfire.
Does it hold up as leftovers? I always shy away from buying a pack of bacon, because I can’t eat the whole thing fast enough.
It’s never lasted long enough to reach leftover stage.
Andy Reid approved this message
This is what I do when I buy bacon. I keep 3 or 4 slices together, put them in a gallon freezer bag, fold it, then repeat until you’re out of bacon. Freeze it, it only takes a couple of minutes sitting out before it defrosts.Then it’s always fresh cooked.
How long? I’m wondering if I can do this on the Air Fryer.
About 20 minutes in the oven, probably quite a bit less in the air fryer. Start checking when you start smelling it.
That’s how I do it too. Let the oven get spattered with hot grease, rather than me.
20 minutes or until desired crispness. I have a kicks Breville toaster oven, but you can use a regular oven.
*kickass*
Just a standard 17-10 Stillers win.
I’m still shaking. Time for more weed!
RedZone early window has totes ruined my kidneys, I am sure of it.
-Scott Hanson
He apparently always eats a certain kind of olives pre-game, so he doesn’t have to wee-wee for 7 hours.
I don’t believe that Tomlin has sold his soul to the devil, if he has he either worded things very well and avoided monkey-paw type consequences or there is some crazy shit going on in his basement. It’s probably more likely that he’s just really good at his job.