Well, with massacres in New England, Miami and Detroit under our belts maybe we’ve got a close one here. Thanksgiving stuff needs to be done so this one will be brief.
To The Game!
Cowboys/Niners:
-Both these teams are so solid on O. Not only do they have depth of talent but each of them just don’t turn the ball over-only one for each team.
-Purdy Good: The stats say that the Cowboys have played the highest percentage of man coverage of any team since last year. Purdy, meanwhile is top 3 in QBR, yards per attempt and TD/INT ratio vs man.
-DAK’S ACT: It’s been cleaned up pretty good. Last year he led everyone in interceptions but he’s got just the one in 2023.
-Say a prayer for Colton McKivitz, his gameplan involves taking on Micah Parsons.
-Combined these offenses have gone over 30 points in 7 of 8 tilts. San Fran is the first team to score 30 in 7 straight since the 2012 Broncos.
-Kittle’s yardage prop sits at 40.5. When last these two played in the playoffs he went for 95.
Enjoy.
Since I’m bored, I’m going to say something that may come as deeply racist, but I’m bored and you’ll suffer the consequences. Plus.. for someone that had to be called it at 4PM on a Sunday, I’m annoyingly underutilized ( so again, I’m taking you down with me XD)… Anyway, to the thing that may come across as racist : I realized that I can’t tell Glovers apart,outside of Danny Glover (but then again, I’ve seen in him in actually good shit). But the rest – Crispin? John? Corey? Donald? Julian? Adam Driver (who I seriously thought was surnamed Glover)……… They all blend into one amorphous “Not Danny Glover” mass
That’s not racist. All white people look alike. 🤣😂
That the do <in John Farnham’s voice> down the barrel of a guuuuuuuuun 😀
Well this has been fun, but now it’s time to drive two hours round trip to the airport.
Yay.
I will likely be a bit late checking in for tomorrow’s Hippo Thoughts.
What airport?
Khe Sanh
Say what you will about Sam Darnold, but he is a capable game manager when it involves last play kneel downs. In this area he’s pretty good for a USC quarterback.
Taking notes
–Mario Cristobal
Mark Sanchez could have fucked up that kneel down at 00:02 in the 4th, leading by 32, and still lost the game.
John David Booty currently works at a Chipotle in Santa Fe Springs.
He also has a tent at the Swap Meet on Saturdays where he sells USC memorabilia.
I bought a 12-pack of socks there once.
cowboys cant even end a blowout right
Oh these are great!
ESPN doesn’t show it anymore, but who else is still alive in Eliminator?
I went out in the third round.
I died last week but I won the Yahoo league set up by Beer Guy Rob.
Nothing says Cowpersons like getting an offensive personal foul, down 42-10 and trying to run the clock out.
They’re as disciplined as Mike McCarthy at a Golden Corral dessert buffet.
This has been a LOT of fun, goodest of nights y’all!
why dont we have backup announcers at this point in the game
Not sure you want to talk about how the 49ers are committed to do everything to win championships and mention Eddie DeBartolo in the same sentence.
Pretty sure the Tomsulas are TRYING not to get first downs, but feel like kneeling this early is too mean.
So, Maestro has Purdy, Tyreek Hill, Pickens, and Etienne. I believe it’s safe to say I will not be winning this week in the tWBS Memorial.
“YOU’RE ALL GUNNA DIE TONIGHT YOU FUCKING USELESS TWATS! GET ME THAT FAT FUCK MCCARTHY’S MANBOOBS SEVERED AND ROASTED BY 05:00! CALL UP PABLO CUZ THE OL’ DOUBLE J’S GONNA NEED MORE BLOW THAN AL MONTANA TONIGHT I AM MAD AS ALL FUCKIN HELL AND FUCKING CCCRRRRAAAZZZYYYYYYY”
YEEEEEEHAAAAWWWW
That was the only thing about this game that I would do differently– have Jerrah in the owner’s box with a camera in his face. Other than that, it has been one helluva day of football! Happy Thanksgiving hat, hope you are all stuffed to the gills and pleasantly buzzed. I hate to be a party pooper, but I need to stretch out in bed and read. I am old and tired! Later my lovely taters
You know, in all these years I never really thought about this. I’ve always spoken and spelled them correctly, but I never really pondered that they were all different. Thank god it was the language I grew up with; I admire anyone who learns it and gets fluent.
I’m going to the 49ers/Seahawks Thanksgiving game. I dunno why, we all know the 49ers are gonna demolish every team the rest of the season.
It’s my first Thanksgiving game ever, though. Guess I’ll be eating turkey at the bar.
Damn, that’s a pretty good Thanksgiving night matchup. Especially if they spot y’all a few scores.
Hey, if those Seahawks fans leave behind mostly full beers when they storm off in disgust you can drink them and help prevent waste!
Go see the fish being thrown!
Jerry’s “Wife”
I’m not sure anything has ever been funnier than Rikki’s/Mark Davis’ “Today Girlfriend” bit.
“Tonight Girlfriend” could be a song title.
“Tonight Girlfriend, Tomorrow Wife, (Yesterday 6th grader)” -the Matt Gaetz cover version
If the refs could see me right now the 49rs would get penalized for taunting, even though I’m nawt a member of the team and I live a good 12 or so miles from Levi Stadium
thank fuck I am too opium-laden to do the billable work I should be doing
Sorry, not sorry Boris.
I’ve been reading the paper and only occasionally looking up. Have we seen shots of JJ in his suite yet? I really enjoy those during these debacles.
There it is! He looks like the both threw up in his mouth and sharted in his suit pants.
Yeah, but does it look like he’s been watching the game?
Wait, he’s there? My brain must have shied away in horror every time they showed him!
The guy with the white Stetson escorting Vander Esch off the field looks like the guy with the white Stetson who escorted Lee Harvey Oswald into the Dallas jail parking garage.
the PIECES FIT
I haven’t seen a Texas coast blow this much since Galveston in 1900
*1908
It’s ok, I’ll see myself out.
one of the most fucked up things about that storm was at the orphanage where the nuns tied ropes to themselves and all the kids; the nuns drowned, and took the children down with them
Dear God, they put PARSONS BACK IN THE GAME
Darnold’s in?
Darnold in. Game is over.
Cooper Rush may be coming in shortly.
/Lea Michelle strings several emojis together and smugly closes the notebook.
Really need to start playing tennis more regularly again. And YES, society. I do mean TENNIS and not your goddamned pickleball.
THANK YOU
PICKLEBALL GIVES PICKLES A BAD NAME
Not to mention DFO Legend Mr. Pickle!
.
Babolat
We’ve replaced these Folger’s Crystals with the Dallas Cowboys, let’s see if anyone notices!
49er Defense: You get a turnover! And YOU get a turnover! Errybody gets a turnover!
I guess calling the Dallas offense ‘Texas Coast’ is fitting, because it stinks and I don’t want to see it anymore.
Texas Coast? Moar liek Texas Toast, amirite?
NEXT WEEK BOLTMAN WILL FEAST ON THESE LOW-IMPEDANCE COWPERSONS
You get a TD! And YOU get a TD! You, over there. YOU get a TD! Errybody gets a TD!
Not you, though, Dallas.
Plenty of time left – SF should go for the 73 point record (unlike that wimp MIA coach)
And now Vander Esch and Parsons have injured each other.
Awesome.
AND Bluebunny still has Dak and Pollard in the game
bout time they gave up
This is one helluva fine snuff film.
Padre Weaselo, incessantly
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHj2px0ZhKo
Who’s Purdy’s apprentice? I’d think it may be time to rest some starters.
Touch of Downs! He might have a belly full of paste, though.
Oh. Well. Is there a Make-A-Wish kid that would like to take a couple snaps under center?
Boy, good thing the Cowboys signed Trey Lance and got all that inside information on the 49ers offense, or this would really be getting out of hand.
McCarthy was just looking up his restaurant recommendations
Hooray! It’s already garbage time!
Youngest has boy friend over for Thanksgiving and we’re watching football and he’s a huge NGCP fan and he’s going nuts that they are losing and sucking. It’s funny to watch him yell at the TV
Hurr durr why do you need a HOT tub in Arizona?!?!
Cris got jokes
arizona state coeds need hot tubs, cris
As long as they can Venmo the money from their OnlyF*ns accounts…
Dak’s been cooking with bleach and ammonia.
How else do you make sure the ham is perfectly can shaped EVERY TIME?
Jerry Jones immediately files suit against Denmark
Arm punt!
I started kittle in a league what I got DK Moore’d. Still isn’t making a difference
count turico in the “birds arent real” crowd
I just had to read Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God to help my son on an assignment.
The dude who wrote that must have been fun at parties.
Religion is a fucking sin.
*looks at the middle east*
Yup
*looks at the altar boy dressing room
Yup
*looks at midwest*
Yup
Is this the easiest 3 TD game that a tight end has ever had? The jury is out. Why? Because he may get a fourth.
Kittles got his eyes on Dua Lipa this game
if kyle cannot win a super bowl this year with this team he is never going to avenge 28-3