Hello, y’all. The half-assing it substitute teacher is IN!
These is your early afternoon offerings, crafted lovingly in Ginger Hammer’s kitchen FOAR YOU:
Texans (+6) at Bengals (1:00, CBS)
Both these squadrons come into Week 10 shit hot. But there’s “oh fuck, they look Owl worthy again” hot, and then there’s “that’s really good for them, you know?” hot. Still, CJ Stroud has been a stone cold killer, and deserves this semi-spotlight. If you want to play WR and will do so for team store coupons? Please see Mike Brown, post haste.
Saints (-3) at Vikings (1:00, Fox)
Hide the knives at casa del yeah right, as we gets a meaty right brothers’ Derby! There’s also the whole “Emo Carr v. Black Powder” aspect, which makes this quite the spicy meatball. No Justin Jefferson this week, but he’s IMMINENT, ah says. Founding Fathers gets a second chance at the bellcow role in the Bird Murder Dome, and YES Hippo is stupid enough to start him.
Packers (+3.5) at Stillers (1:00, CBS)
All you need is Love? Residents of Wisconsin would beg to differ. Coach Epps scoffs at caring who is playing quartered back. He’ll go 9-8 or 10-7 with pretty much any jackass off the street. Even Sunny‘s Uncle Jack! Nobody is breaking the 20-point ceiling here, kids. Too bad we don’t get snow.
Titans (+2.5) at Bucs (1:00, CBS)
DonT’s Magnificent Tits will try not to melt down MRSA-way, but I wouldn’t make any promises on that front. Start #3 from Future Meth Cook Will Levis, and we will see if he hits the wall or continues on with Cromulence Plus. Have you asked YOUR doctor if Cromulence Plus could be right FOAR YOU??
Tomsulas (-3) at Jaguras (1:00, Fox)
Damn, that’s some kind of RESPEK on the Santa Clara name, coming in on a 3-match losing streak AND going on a “body clock” road trip across three time zones AND facing a 6-2 Jacksonville team that looks like they could sneak away with the 1 seed in the much tougher AFC? I guess because it’s in DUUUUUVVVVVAAAALLLL, not the true home confines of London Towne. But one still has to like Prison Girlfriend in this spot. Not just because of her flowing blond locks, but they don’t hurt none.
#ThePauls (+6.5) at Ravens (1:00, Fox)
It’s not easy to have a full 6-pack window, with no games so much as a full TD spread. But here we are. Two best defenses in the NFL by a long shot, but I’mma take the home team featuring Lamar! because I am just a HAWT TAEK artist of that calibre. Hippo could sure use a KHunt punt or two, so long as Poe’s homeys win the day overall.
SUDDEN CHANGE IN CLEVELAND, AND THIS TIME IT’S NOT A RIVER ON FIRE!!!
Ordering food, then setting up the mouse death field
THE BUNGLES!
Coach Epps cannot lose
It’s all in the contract with Satan.
HIGH END TALENT STILLERS GANTA SUPERB BOWL
Also, hello.
I’m in a Dave & Buster’s, here to get another Veteran’s Day freebie. I’ve never been in one of these before. I really kind of hate it, it’s sensory overload, but let’s see what happens.
I got this for almost free, and it wasn’t too bad. This place is full of NFL fans wearing jerseys, however, so there’s always that negative.
There’s one KHunt punt Hippo!
Chig Okwonko catch. The moon must be on Capricorn!
There’s madness. After it, counting on Derek Carr garbage time fantasy points.
https://youtu.be/_XoFmJp2C4k?si=cZ4hSZFm8U_1rovi
Aaaaaand he’s hurt
So some shit apparently went down at NHRL Finals this weekend!
Prison Girlfriend is already getting Brady calls? Damn.
Mike Evans carried K. Fulton piggyback 5 yards for a TD. TEN 3 – 17 TB, Red Zone beckons.
Ravens doing their best impression of the browns. holy christ
OF COURSE, Hippo ain’t need that Stroud TD. CHRIST ON A BIKE.
You were just criticizing bad touches, Other Hippo!
ALL THINGS ARE SHIT AND I GET THE NOTHING THAT I DESERVE
Little fish, big fish swimming in the water
Take Bad Touch Watson and send him to the lockers
TheShaun hurt?
One can only hope. May his toes touch his knees.
Cotton Hill?
The exodus begins…
WR Winston Watkins Jr. decommits from Colorado’s 2025 class (msn.com)
Amazing just how insanely wrong all my previews have been.
CALL THIS GUY HILL THE A-10 WARTHOG CUZ HES A TANK KILLER.
I’m listening to the radio so I’m ahead and I still reacted to that hit
Hippo, I like the Ravens fan you featured here today. Marika is sorta pissed, Napoli lost today.
I bet she’s awfully hot when angry!
I would certainly let her vent on me.
Trap game is trapping
Christ, I really gots to stop playing fantsy.
The fun, Other Hippo, is making your friends happy when they kick your ass.
You’re welcome, Don T, BTW.
Not yet. Yahoo % poibts are nail-polish volatile. Total weathervabe.
cosigned
-Mariah Carey (too much all i want royalties to leave the home)
yep, niners are back
Chase Young and a Bosa? How could they not be.
more importantly deebo is back to stop purdy from fucking all this up
DUDE, you’re getting a DELL!
The Chelsea-Man City game went full plaid. Far better use of my time then whatever that thing in Germany was that the NFL was doing.
I do regret missing the apparent benching of White Mac, that I must admit. The sports radio this week shall be marvelous.
Folk implosion.
worst fumble by a Texan since the Aggies athletic director signing Jimbos contract
with all the wars going on oil futures look okay right now, so they can easily afford that buyout
packers are “matt canada offense looking good today” levels of bad
Whoever is arse-fucking Hippo in Vodka League this week, you’re welcome for leaving Keaton Mitchell on the bench.
TJ Hockenson thanks you too!
/Okay, fine, he doesn’t care
Explosive runs, eh? Buddy, we’ve all been there.
I ain’t saying don’t post a blue square.
I am saying, I notice those Parkland kids didn’t need a Sunday ad campaign…
I’ll admit when I’m wrong. That French restaurant was great. I asked the waiter, “Look, I don’t know anything about French food. Your recommendation will make or break my night. Should you choose wrong, the vengeance of my house will be visited upon you.”
The French are very good at food and arrogance, game recognize game.
City of Men can has FOUR soccer points? Fuck me, that’s a LOT of soccer points.
So can Chelsi.
Sigh, Chelski.
Imagine how fast Keaton Mitchell would be with TWO good hamstrings!
I didn’t understand the line, says MOAR about Hippo than Vegas. Tomsulas, they mad bruh.
I got busted for showing a pic less risqué than that on the homepage.
LinkedIn sucks at beefcake
Burrow to WR5. TD!
purdy showing his inner gunslinger early and DUVAL doing jack shit with it
Good, I’m starting Aiyuk and Purdy
#ThePauls!!
Pauling from jump street!
Houston is trying get in Burrow’s head…by hitting him in the head on the 1st play.
Trevormania!
welp, my hangover just scared otu of me
Skyler White!
Indeed, she fucked Ted.
Goddamn Ted, man.
“support our troops…not those that misled them”
(that is indeed what is on the sticker. shame she sold it recently, wouldve loved to have that, even with that damned bigsby tremelo)
I know more than a few of my coworkers would have a problem with this.
THIS GRONK I CALL HIM A MID AIR ACCIDENT WITH THE TOILET CAUSE THAT’S A LOT OF SHIT FALLING OUT OF THE SKY
I can confirm that person in the photo is not a Ravens fan. She has never been within 1000 miles of Baltimore.
Maybe at one of the higher end strip clubs, I can say for a fact she looks too attractive to work the ones near the inner harbor.
City of Men can has 3rd soccer point???
As can Chelsi
Sigh. Chelski
Will Levis is solid son-in-law material (if you’re into normie shit), AND is a Finance M.A. Future Meth Cook is libel. Meth Capo or better, please.
One assumes you’ve been dropping some subtle hints to your daughter, si?
Nah. It’s just kidding. SIL is a solid citizen.
Full disclosure: he is also a drummer.
Saving grace: a kickass drummer
Is Meth Capo getting high on his own supply?
Haaland just scored with his testicles.
Not a joke
While you’re waiting for more futbaw:
Here’s the frontispiece to fantastic book about Volkswagen repair that was originally published in 1969, and since updated. Whether you have ever owned a VW or not, this book is a treasure just for the illustrations by Peter Aschwanden. They are not only technically accurate and clear, but are done in the pen & ink styling similar to Gilbert Shelton of Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers fame. And they’re funny too.
(An earlier post mentioned the comics Sgt. Rock and Ghost Tank. Those, plus The Freak Brothers, were the only comics I read as a kid, in addition to the great movie/TV parodies in MAD by Mort Drucker and Angelo Torres)
Fun Fact: I call my pcar an Aero Beetle.
Because the engine is in the back.
This book is also good for Porsche repair, because they are the same.
Paging Richard Hammond!
You have 32 whole minutes to shit and/or beat off. Consider that your final warning.
Took care of both earlier. NAWT at the same time, mind you.
That would be honoUring the Germany fixture a bit too far, two b FARE
Don’t kinkshame me!
Winning streak? Team is hot? Facing a supposedly lesser team? Rivals next in the queue on a short week?