Right now I’m probably trying to stifle a snide reply to a certain inanity that came out of the mouth of a certain in-law. So I’ve got that going for me. I’ll keep this short because there’s much to do today. Enjoy the tilt and drop by and say hello.
To The Game!
Pats/Broncos:
-Umm, both teams have very good kick returners?
-With a W Denver will have it’s first five game home win streak since 2014.
-The Pats are best in the league in yards allowed per rush play.
-If they stop the run game and take Sutton out how will Payton respond?
-The guess is that the short passing game for Denver will be successful and this also falls into Wilson’s wheelhouse given that he averages 6.6 air yards per toss.
-The Pats are 1-6 ATS as road dogs this season.
I’m out.
So…this game hit the over
Bet you’ll never see that for sale at Gillette Stadium
Simsbury, Rich? That map clearly shows that Santa is stuck in the White Mountains of New Hampshire, and at some point is going to need to choose which reindeer to eat in order to survive.
Been reading some football history while ‘watching’ this game and learned that there has only been one game where a team finished with a score of 4. We just missed the 100 year anniversary of this feat, which happened November 25, 1923 when the Racine Legion beat the Chicago Cardinals (forebears of the current Arizona Cardinals) 10-4
Have not yet succeeded in finding a play by play or detailed recap of the game
So two safeties for Chicago?
No idea how else you get 4, but also don’t know if they had some unique scoring back in 1923.
It was indeed 2 safeties, so the Chicago offense scored a whopping zero points and perhaps starting a tradition of shitty offense that remains to this day!
Per Wikipedia, Touchdowns were worth 4 points until 1897.
In the early days of football, kicking was emphasized. In 1883, the scoring system was devised with field goals counting for five points, and touchdowns and conversions worth four points. In 1897, the touchdown was raised to five points while the conversion was lowered to one point. (In 1958, the NCAA created the two-point conversion for conversions scored via run or pass; the NFL followed suit in 1994.) Field goals were devalued to four points in 1904, and then to the modern three points in 1909. The touchdown was changed to six points in 1912 in American football; the Canadian game followed suit in 1956.
Rugby also took forever to settle on standard scoring, seems to be a standard thing that happened with a lot of games as they evolved and differentiated themselves from the original Ur-football with all the shin hacking
Racine Legion at Chicago Cardinals – November 25th, 1923 | Pro-Football-Reference.com
There’s an article in the Chicago Tribune that goes along with the picture, but it’s behind a paywall. So lame.
.,.
This is a deeply unserious football game, which makes it the absolute perfect Christmas Eve fodder.
FACK YOU ALL WE AHH TUHRNIN’ THIS SHIT AHROUND WITH ZAPPE BRANNIGAN A GOOD IRISH LAD
Well the Patriots probably have no shot at Marvin Harrison, Jr., now, but with Marvin Harrison Sr. you never really know about such things.
The 2023 Denver Broncos all summed up in one play.
Goddamn, Santa’s gonna skip Denver for years.
That reminded me. I met a girl in college during a snowball fight and we dated for a while.
This cartoon came out right after the snowball fight and I cut it out and taped it to her door, because I’m smooth like that.
On the bright side, my head was killing me and I was happy that HippoSpawn suggested maybe it was time to turn the TV off. Enjoyyyyyy the siiiiilence!
Denver making Zappe look competent isn’t my kind of Sunday night.
Patriots can haz TWO touchdowns?!
Oof, although good on Russ for keeping out of the end zone there
Quick pause from the longest 9-7 game I have ever seen (two hours and we’re only halfway into the 3rd quarter, how in the..). The Holidays can be the most joyous times for most, but for those alone or quietly suffering from depression, it could be the darkest. Be there for those who need it, even when they don’t want it.
You’ve heard of Elf on a Shelf….hopefully that elf will apologize one day for normalizing the surveillance state
DO NOT EVAR GET IT. IT’S A GIANT PITA TO MOVE EVRY NIGHT AND KEEP IT INTERESTING. TIS FUCKING EVIL
Truly one of the most evil holiday inventions ever. Should be all rounded up and bulldozed into the ground for all eternity like those Atari ET games.
.
Surely there’s an “Elf on the Shaft” porn parody?
Love #8 jumping on Wilson there, looking to pad his stats by that crucial .5 sack.
Russell Wilson’s internal pass rush clock is currently wound to “Oh, f— me, RUN!”
Folks!
Here’s Catholic afterlife theology in 3 minutes 42 seconds courtesy of George Carlin:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYZYVr0Lcww
We had a copy of that as a kid. I still remember the seven words you can’t say on television (circa early 70’s).
That doinked right on the mic, impressive!
Patriots can haz touchdown?
10-9 is still in play!
So Xmas Eve at the Cornblowers included my daughter testing positive for Covid and my father giving my wife pot for Xmas.
In 30 years that’s going to be an episode of a sitcom called “That 2020s Show”
I’m thinking today would be more appropriately revisited in the 2030s as an All in the Family reboot. Archie as a Trump supporting Republican. Edith as a Conservative Working Wife. Gloria as a Hillary/Obama supporting Democrat. Michael as a Far Woke Democrat who comes out as transexual Michelle in the pilot.
The first two seasons or so practically write themselves.
And they’re all practicing snake handlers.
Tell your Dad he became a right proper Chelski chav post haste!
Boo Covid, but yay weed!
As a father, I can think of….WAY worse daughter positive tests!!
Turns out defense only wins championships when you also have the ability to occasionally score points on offense
They scored 3, so this loss is on the defense.
Shit, now it’s really on the defense!
This is our reality, deal with it! D-O-N-K-S!!!!
..
Time to pet the kitty.
Kitty is high as fuck.
Good luck. That cat has seen some shit.
She’s on her last legs. Kidneys are failing, won’t eat, pisses wherever she is, and pukes everywhere too. Weighs less than 5 pounds now. Probably won’t be here next time I visit.
Aw, give her some good pets
I am! She’s in bed now.
Nailed It!
— B. Walsh
Ibid
— M. Ayo
Looks like Santa Clara has the most cap space right now, that’s a pretty sweet benefit of having a starting QB getting under $1 mill/year
Let Russ Drop the Cookie Sheet
I just enjoyed a Christmas Eve dinner, delivered from a local Middle Eastern restaurant that was open on this most sacred of evenings.
Those Afghans might be murdererous heathens, but they sure do make a mean chicken shawarma and beef kofta platter with quabli rice, tabouli salad, and lentil soup.
DEATH TO MURDEROUS HEATHENS!
Peace to normal heathens!
They’re nice people. It’s a shame they’re going to hell.
I still believe God/Allah has an unwritten Heathen asshole clause in entry into Heaven. “You didn’t believe in Me, but you weren’t a complete asshole. Uh… Just go on in. We’ll figure out some community service thing later.”
As long as they aren’t baptized they get to hang out in Limbo, which seems pretty decent in The Inferno
According to George Carlin, Limbo was for unbaptized babies and was called off by Vatican II. Carlin hoped they promoted everybody to Heaven and didn’t just cut them loose in space.
Didn’t they also get rid of Purgatory? Seems like some pretty major changes, can’t trust a religion that can’t get its story straight
Nope, Purgatory is still there and populated.
I learned about Limbo in Catholic school, several years after Vatican II. Many of the changes were totally ignored at the parish level.
Apparently they only called off “Limbo of the Infants.” Makes sense now.
It probably didn’t meet modern child care standards
Had to look it up; the “guiltless damned.” The best you can do if you’re not baptized.
So, Ohio vs. Hell. Tough call.
It’s the nice part of hell though. What’s the nice part of Ohio?
Cincinnati probably is as good as they gets.
That’s so sad
Columbus seemed like one giant strip mall to me. Cleveland can get awfully sketch awfully quick. Dunno what/where else could qualify. I’ve read the Frank Bill books re SE Ohio.
I had a fun weekend in Miami, at the college, but I’m not sure I’d want to spend more than a weekend there.
I agree. Cincinnati is pretty much culturally Kentucky, and by extension, Appalachia and the Upper South, but due to the Ohio River and the hills being not as steep on the north side, Cincinnati is in Ohio.
Merry Christmas, ya filthy nuke!
Thanks, and Merry Christmas to you and your coner! Let me know if you need any atoms split.
You are, and will always be, my first choice for all things nuclear!
That’s what they said to that one guy at Chernobyl.
See? He had glowing reviews!
No matter how bad this is for us neutrals, imagine how much worse it is for the guys on the NE D, especially the ones with lower salaries
The guy who recovered that fumble is on a 1 year league minimum contract and he went through all that effort for like a 5 minute break lol
I consider teh Hippo a good friend. There is 0 way they win a playoff game.
Who, Denver? Very much agreed. Especially since they ain’t even gonna PLAY a playoff game.
The Charm only works if you embrace and support the Charm.
It seems impossible until it happens, trust me.
No one can make me watch this game, going to go read and eat more caramel pecan pie.
I am sleepy. Perhaps I shall nibble a bit MOAR opium.
Still trying to find the chewable morphine.
Flintstones needs to get on that shit!
I’m making a chocolate pecan pie tomorrow!
So remind me again why the Broncos wore one of the best helmet logos ever over the same color as half the logo, completely camouflaging it from a distance and completely negating bringing back the logo in the first place?
The Aristocrats!
Well, Denver does have the horse…
If not for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college!
7-0. Insurmountable lead, or insurmountablest lead?
Let he who counts out Zappe be cast out first.
grumblegrumbleTriedThatDidn’tWorkgrumblegrumbleLikeYouMotherDoesOnTheCornergrumblegrumble
That probably was peak excitement for the evening. Apologies, neutral folk.
What is what I say to my dates? I’ll take Animal Genitalia Audio Clues for $300, Ghost of Alex.
Props to the NFL Scheduling Oracles for choosing the Christmas Eve game that is so unwatchable, it gets St. Nick off his fat ass and into the sleigh.
They have a guaranteed audience in people avoiding talking to their families
Those three games tomorrow are going to save so many people.
Lots of Karma in the bank for The Shield’s world domination plan
No lie, I’d have watched even Bearsenschiesse/Qards
That actually looked like a pretty fun game to be in the crowd for
Chi**** folk seem to make the best of chucklefuckery. Especially with bad weather.
This drive will be run/run/run/FG
There was a pass! Then a bunch of runs.
I was just as surprised at you. We’uns living in CHAOS TIMES
“Back-to-back three-and-outs after a fumble; the Patriots’ offense is just not showing up.”
Rich, I’m not sure you understand: that is the Patriots’ offense.
You know it’s not The Legend of White Mac because it wasn’t followed by an INT
Dad, have you wrestled guys to this?
/listening to NOFX during bath time
“Guys? No, son, not guys. No more questions or Santa won’t stop at our house.”
Introduced them to my shoulder.
It seems kinda weird that a safety is worth the same number of fantasy points as an interception/fumble recovery, seems like it should be more
In Math is Hard, you get 7 points for a safety, 10 for a D/ST touchdown. Turnovers are 3. Sacks just 1.
I like that, makes more sense that points are better than the opportunity for points
plus, safeties are just so much fun. Fun should bear rewards!
Fun fact: Zappe was afraid of the mall santa as a kid and the orange unis are close enough to red that he’s flashing back when looking at some of the bigger dudes on the team
One of my twins was mortified of the Chick-fil-a cow. She would sit under the table and I would just hand her nuggets down one by one.
I almost ran the Chik Fil A cow over once. Idiot jumped right out in front of me, they were opening a new store. It’s not worth dying for! I never eat that garbage, because of the homophobia, but damn, it was scary close.
IN-TER-CEPTION!
Wait, IN-COM-PLETE!
19 yards of field position change!
That has made Hippo quite tumescent.
(but not that)
(we might need lots of discussion topics/lists tonight)
Let’s start with Dead Cap hits!
I’ll start. 114MM for Mahomes next year.
Even Ditka isn’t worth $114M of your cap!
/hides from angry Chi****ans
112MM for LAMAR!
I mean, that flannel allowance adds up
129MM for Herbert. I hope the Spanoi clan wakes up multiple times a night with this number in their heads.
154MM for Burrow. God damn, Mr. Brown. Well done.
Deanna Farve is wistfully reading that as millimeters
holy cats and he just signed his extension!
God hates Cincinnati sports fans. You cannot convince me otherwise!
104MM for Hurts! That’s a lot of dead batteries.
Charmslinger. 88MM
Post June 1 designation will let the DONKS spread that over two years. RumoUrs are swirling.
Next up tiny little Kyler and his XBox at 81MM
Blue Orchid is the best White Stripes tune.
I will continue that Gish is better than Siamese Dream which got the punkins popular
Alice in Chains was the best grunge.
/dodges fish
I always went:
1) Soundgarden
2) Satan in Chains
3) Nirvana (top 3 are VERY close, though – and I agree that Cobain is the best songwriter of the genre)
4) Pearl Jam
5) Mother Love Bone
Huh, for me it’s Soundgarden, Nirvana, RATM, Pearl Jam. Not as big on Alice as some.
“My Doorbell” is my vote, but “Blue Orchid” is damned good.
Ball and biscuit first.
1) My Doorbell
2) Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground
3) Blue Orchid
4) Denial Twist
5) You Don’t Know What Love Is
Ugh, are you people really doing this? Am I doing this?
Absolutely, Let’s go Charmslinger!
D-O-N-K-S!!!!!!