It’s That Time-Your First Playoff Open Thread

Welcome, welcome fans of the NFL. Not so long ago this would be a game that you would consciously avoid were it a regular season tilt but the times have indeed changed and I think coaches Stefanski and Ryans are the primary reasons. Houston’s GM gets a little credit as well for drafting intelligently. All in all, it’s not a bad way to start the post-season festivities.

To The Game!

Browns/Texans:

-Phenomenal rookie Stroud absolutely tears apart zone defenses. The problem? Cleveland plays man just about more than any other team. And guess what? C.J. is a bottom 6 qb vs that setup.

-Those Browns are favored in a playoff game for the first time since Nigeria moved its capital city from Lagos to Abuja! (thanks Wiki)

-Who will step up if, as expected, the secondary bends coverage towards Nico Collins? Both Noah Brown and Robert Woods are hobbled-to what extent we don’t know because, why would they miss a playoff game if they were able to walk? Xavier Hutchinson has come up small in a few recent games, having one catch on seven targets. Maybe the wildcard is John Metchie, a guy that can’t stay healthy but his Alabama pedigree may manifest itself.

-Still Old: When Flacco was starting his first playoff game Stroud was a wee 8 year-old. Isn’t it amazing that some people are old and other people aren’t as old?

-Successful Rebuild: The Texans last played an extra game back in 2019. Only three players from today’s roster played in that fixture-that’s quite a bit of turnover.

-Cooper went bananas the last time these teams clashed but ends Anderson and Greenard weren’t around and starting cb Cashman was sitting as well. That said, I’d take the over on his 73.5 receiving prop.

Let’s have some fun.

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jjfozz

Tyreek Hill pumped. He’ll be going like a house on fire tonight.

(Sorry.)

jjfozz

Could we have a show featuring B List celebs where they just get fucking murdered?

jjfozz

Andy Reid’s secret to the cold? Smear BBQ sauce over every exposed inch of skin.

Spur

But that will irritate the Dolphins blowhole

Cecil Rhodes

Wait…did the commentator just say that Mahomes is one of the Greatest Leaders in Sport? Is Mahomes’ mother in his earpiece?

Spur

Same post for next game or we warming up here for the next post?

Mr. Ayo

No, there will be a new one.

Or scotchy will hanging by his thumbs tonight.

WCS

We’re all queuing up to rush the new thread immediately like a Walmart at 05:00 on Black Friday.

ThePirateSloth

I’ve been kinda wondering this lately, but we could hop on a Discord server and stream the game for those who do not have Peacock.

Brick Meathook

I paid $5.99 for Peacock just to see this game (only because of the weather) and I’m cancelling Peacock right after the game. Think about it.

ThePirateSloth

I have Peacock. I was offering to live up to my Pirate side of my name for those who do not.

BugEyedBoo

Just pick one from nflbite . com .

Mr. Ayo

Just started the Peacock stream of the freezer bowl.

Immediately I was assaulted by the voice of Cris Collinsworth. Fine, that’s an NBC issue, not a streaming issue.

Then, I was asked to share my viewing data with the NFL. WTF. lol, and fuck no.

Also, NFL, your stupid stunt is 2nd screen for me. GO KRAKEN!

Brick Meathook

Nothing wrong with being religious, but don’t wear it on your sleeve.

BugEyedBoo

He’s got some Jesus alright.

Cecil Rhodes

You never hear players say “hail Cthulhu” in post-game interviews anymore.

jjfozz

Yeah, I’m happy you have faith, but keep it to yourself. I think God doesn’t give a tin shit about football.

jjfozz

Matthew 6:5-8

jjfozz

When people get annoying about how good they are and mention God in every other phrase, hit them with this quote:

Jesus taught, “When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men … but when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your father who is unseen.”

WCS
fleshwound_NPG

hoist the flags, its time for game 2comment image

LemonJello

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Mr. Ayo

Agreed. Next year when D. Watson is back and they keep losing, then we can go back to calling them “a buncha losers”.

King Hippo

yep, then ran into a buzzsaw

Doktor Zymm

It’s an organizational issue, they just happen to play for an organization where historical and whatever factors mean this sort of thing is far more likely to happen to them than success

Mr. Ayo

Better rookie:

CJ Stroud or DeMeco Ryans?

King Hippo

YES

LemonJello

THIS IMAGINARY TEXAS TEAM, I CALL THEM GOVERNOR GREG ABBOTT BECAUSE WHAT THEY ARE DOING TO THE BROWNS MAY BE AGAINST THE LAW AND HUMAN DECENCY!

Senor Weaselo

BANNER.

jjfozz

As a Baltimoron, I’m enjoying this game because Browns fans are the most annoying fuckheads in the world. Steelers fans are big piles of shit.

hippofant

Michael Vick: “CJ, don’t be anybody else other than who you are, someone who fucking hates dogs and loves ritualistic fighting.”

ThePirateSloth

They get a toy pick up truck?

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Redshirt

..

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Doktor Zymm

Dolphins fans don’t travel well, does Spirit even fly to KC?

King Hippo

TayTay SIGHTED!!!!

Cecil Rhodes

Probably walking back towards the heated limousine that she arrived in!

Spur

I always forget how bitter campari is. When i drink this again in 3 months, I wont remember then. I think its the bright red color, it looks like Big Red soda.

Doktor Zymm

That’s one of the most fun things about drinking Negronis, it looks like a girly drink from the color

Mr. Ayo

The actual most fun thing is all the alcohol. But the color is also a nice benefit.

Doktor Zymm

I enjoy the look on people’s faces when I let them try a sip