That Scattered Thursday Open Thread

I took a look at one of my pensions today and they have me marked for death at 82! [looks up ‘Average Canadian Male Lifespan’] Well, Statistics Canada says that the average guy drops dead at 81.3 years so it seems like I’ll be spending my last few monies going to the funerals of all my old high school buddies. That’s a raw deal.

Thoughts and Stuff:

-Some years back I picked up a bookie-book by Rennie Airth with the title River of Darkness on a lark. I enjoyed the tale of a WW1 vet trying to wrap his noggin around the notion of a serial killer roaming about the English countryside. A few weeks ago I saw another novel of his by the name of Cold Kill-it started out with promise but the last quarter of his story was filled with so many contrived plot twists I-while reading in bed next to my wife-said out loud, “Aww, C’mon On!” Poor Rennie, he wrote himself into a corner and couldn’t get out without some ridiculous literary gymnastics. The quality between those two books is separated by light years.

-ESPN tells me that the Atlanta Falcons have interviewed live and on camera 14(!) different candidates for their various positions so far. Belichick has had a follow-up chat and my guess is that the GM spot is the sticking point. After all, he hasn’t reported to anyone else but the owner for years and years-must be hard to give that up. (*USA Today is saying that 21 minutes ago Raheem Morris was hired as coach)

-Tom Telesco landed on his feet with the Raiders: when was the last time a fired GM in the NFL was snapped up immediately after getting let go? Seems to me that the vast majority only get the one chance and then they move into broadcasting or consultancy work. Telesco brought in talent but a lot of folks are saying that they’ve underperformed-is that on the GM though?

-Another Harbaugh hits the league-it was just a matter of how far away he could get from the long, spindly arm of the NCAA and justice. [snorts] I guess it’s a good gig if you ignore the ages of Ekeler, Keenan Allen and Mike Williams (they need a GM with a good eye for skill position talent like…Tom Telesco) the Spanos gang, no home games and a garbage defense.

-All eyes in San Fran are on Deebo Samual and his not-fractured shoulder. Apparently he was ‘limited’ in practice today-I’m ‘limited’ virtually every day but you don’t hear me telling everybody about it, smgdh… Anyhoo, there’s a marked difference in the success of the passing game when he’s around. When on the field during pass plays the Niners Expected Points Added per play is .26, when he’s injured or on the sideline that drops to .06. I’m betting that he gets shot full of orangutan placenta and is a go on Sunday.

-Vic Fangio is gone from Miami. He was the one responsible for the Fins being 10th in total defense, first in QB hits and the franchise record for sacks at 56. They were also 22nd in points allowed and 28th in defending in the red zone. That D was wracked by injuries but someone has to be a scapegoat. Maybe there’s a wee bit more pressure on boy genius McDaniel? According to sports yappers, one of the guys being considered for new DC is [throws up in mouth] Brandon Staley.

-There’s a great tilt on tonight if you, like me, have somewhat recently started watching women’s college basketball. The game in question is undefeated South Cackalacky vs defending champ LSU.

-As far as the men are concerned there are a ton of games involving the lesser conferences and just the one ranked team-Arizonny-playing.

Jump in and join the fun.

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Mr. Ayo

I can’t se straight, s I’ll see you all tomorowl

WCS

The Kraken will be released into the septic tank later.

Senor Weaselo

So I’m watching Senorita Weaselo finally replay Last of Us Part II, and I gotta say, it’s cool how they did up, fuck, what’s it called now, Lumen Field as the Wolves’ base

2Pack

Ciao tutti

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SonOfSpam

-Mindy Cohn, staring at Kim Fields through a rifle scope

WCS
Mr. Ayo

This Jannik Sinner, I call him Batman because he’s killing the Joker

WCS

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SonOfSpam

I thought it would be Covid.

Senor Weaselo

Don’t you mean OG Anunoby?

/Okay, Jokic got 31
//I know, no one cares about the NBA until April or so

Gumbygirl

Rennie Airth probably worked on that first book for years, agonizing over every sentence, polishing it like a jewel. Then it was successful, and the publisher demanded a new book in less than a year. Happens all the time. Hopefully he’ll get the hang of writing under a deadline.

litre_cola

My wife is on an elementary school zoom call. I am near suicidal listening to this.

Sharkbait

I think your router just had an update. You better re-boot it to be sure.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ask her loudly enough for others to overhear if she’s picked out which kids the two of you are planning to groom.

litre_cola

Oh she is not on screen. She isn’t volunteering for anything.

Horatio Cornblower

“HONEY I CAN’T FIND THE BAKING POWDER, AND THIS FENTANYL ISN’T GONNA CUT ITSE…oh shit is the school call tonight?”

Last edited 3 months ago by Horatio Cornblower
Redshirt

Reasons #4,101 why DFO is on an FBI Watchlist

Gumbygirl

Yell that your “not going to put up with any woke bullshit, they need to burn those pornographic dictionaries!”

2Pack

Thoughts and prayers Buddy

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh dear God I don’t even want to think about what Buddy Cole thinks about and prays for.

Horatio Cornblower

Every (grits teeth in anger) current NHL franchise’s original jersey, although as pointed out in the comments this is Kansas City Scouts erasure.

https://twitter.com/hockey_samurai/status/1750257161647652966

Senor Weaselo

Rebuttal: Fuck the Devils anyway.

Sharkbait

This guy gets it.

Mr. Ayo

Generic NHL logo was not the Kraken original jersey

Gumbygirl

I do love the Pens baby blues, but I get why they switched to Yinzer colors.

ballsofsteelandfury

Love the Kings one!

Horatio Cornblower

Mrs. Horatio (returning from another session of metal detecting with nothing but nails and oxen shoes): Someday I’d really like to find a treasure.

Me (adding maple bitters to my hot chocolate): I thought I was your treasure.

Mrs. Horatio: Shut up.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Um, she’s a detectorist? Has she watched the BBC show as recommended by Balls?

Horatio Cornblower

I think she has. Very into that nonsense one about Oak Island.

ballsofsteelandfury

I can’t take credit for it. Dok was actually the one that introduced me to it.

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blaxabbath

This bar I am in in Kingman is showing like TSN red zone.

Is there any other way to play hockey without using the blue lines and it not being just cherry picking fest?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I am hearing that Elise Stefanik is the current top prospect for the GOP’s vice presidential ticket, and the only thing that keeps me awake at night more is the prospect of Brer Fox throwing me into that them thar briar patch.

Redshirt

.

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Horatio Cornblower

You’d have thought people would have learned a lesson in 2016 about what happens when a shrieking harpy from New York runs for one of the highest offices in the land, but then Trump doesn’t strike me as someone who learns much of anything from anything.

Sharkbait

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Redshirt

He looks like he’s having a stroke…which to be fair would explain his presidential campaign.

Horatio Cornblower

That’s a slander against the Fightin’ Horatios and I will not have it!

Horatio Cornblower

(Also I own at least one shirt with that logo on it and I do not need to be thinking about Ron Fucking DeSantis when I wear it)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

…when I wear it

“Ah jeez…he’s wearing the nightmare husky shirt tonight…” – Lowratio, girding his loins

Redshirt

Hey, Sexy Friday isn’t for about 2 hours and 45 minutes! Keep it in your pants.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I really hope the Falcons call Belichick to let him know he had the lead for the head coaching spot and blew it.

Redshirt

Belichick overplayed his hand by claiming droit du seigneur for all rookies and new signings mothers.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I don’t think I’ll ever get over handplay. It’s just the best.” – Belichick’s former boss

Last edited 3 months ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly