[DOOR FLIES OPEN]

"This site goes down so often we oughta change the name to “Dating Nancy Reagan”" – Horatio

Log In

Sexy Friday – 20240216

Mr. Ayo

/

, ,

TGIF! So what are we to do with our Sundays now? Well, Sunday Gravy first thing in the morning, but no idea after that. Although the positive is I my Mondays will have far fewer hangovers, so that’s a plus for work.

Survival – Personal Edition

Wait, I just remembered what my off season Sundays are for: golf! Now that my broken thumb is healed I can get back in the swing of it. Of course, fun on the course sometimes involves some drinking. And some drinking can cause some clumsiness and carelessness, all of which can result taking a shot to the Goolies. (Goolies is a Scottish term for the privates) Let’s go through the steps to survive such a shot.

  • Lie down immediately. Shield those Goolies from taking any additional damage with your hands, but don’t go squeezing them.
  • Apply something cold to those Goolies to control swelling. Use ice in a bag or cloth, or a cold beverage can.
  • Do not apply too much pressure. That will only make those Goolies hurt more or potentially cause more damage.
  • Wait a few minutes and reassess your pain level. If there’s still a significant amount of pain, it’s time for you to do a visual assessment of those Goolies. Check the swelling, look for any irregularities, and make sure the undercarriage is still intact.
  • After an hour, if there’s still pain, you’re going to have to bite the bullet and get those Goolies to a medical professional.

Well that was fun, wasn’t it? Hopefully your playing mates had a good laugh at your expense, and your Goolies are back in good health.

Click here to get to commenting

Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!

5 2 votes
Article Rating
Tags:

Leave a Reply

Subscribe
Notify of
116 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
litre_cola

OK. Synopsis concert was unreal. Ittle tussle at the Lennox Irish pub. He deserved it. He swung 1st. Missed then it was over for that fuck

4
litre_cola

There is crackheads everywhere or whatever the new brand is

1
yeah right

God I love Robert Fripp.

1
yeah right

Their first album was close to perfect.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s the one I owned. Sci-Flyer was the inspiration for the sci-fi edition of Request Line.

1
yeah right

I can never get the puzzles.

2
2Pack

Early morning run in very thick fog. Listening to the Black Sabbath Sabotage album. Loud. Vertigo. I am aware. I am alive.

/ Deep cut: Tommy Chong, “I saw God man…”

1
yeah right

They opened with Symptom of the Universe the first time I saw them live.

Shit.

I’m going to listen to that right now.

1
yeah right

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJIKJcIdlVw

1
2Pack

That’s my favorite album from them.

1
BugEyedBoo

“You saw God.” 

/deep cut response

2
WCS

“Last Train to Satansville” is also the title the chapter of my autobiography on the last time I had to visit my ex-wifey’s family reunion.

3
yeah right

Hey 2Pack.

Thinking about taking eldest daughter and maybe TAJ to Napoli in mid September.

Thoughts?

1
2Pack

Good time to go. I’ll hit up the oldest for tips. She has conferences there recently.

1
2Pack

She says general guidance is to stick with the historic city center (centro storico). She was there twice in the past year and really enjoyed it.

FB_IMG_1708170674170.jpg
2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hell yeah it’s shoegaze o’clock

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_USHKQ4Ntc8

0
BugEyedBoo

I just finished watching Scavengers Reign on Max. Starts out slow, but the ending was pretty awesome.

1
yeah right

Have you seen Beef on Netflix?

Thoroughly enjoyed that.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“That show was a huge disappointment.” – Coach Reid

1
BugEyedBoo

I have. It’s good.

1
yeah right

Lots of twists.

Plus the 30 minute episode thing moved along with a good pace.

0
yeah right

Woo happy 3 day weekend Americanos and Americanas and to our friends around the world.

Had a good day at work.

Finally after 2 months from my former second in charge retiring, I got to officially promote number 3 to a supervisor.

This ain’t no bullshit promotion he gets a 46% salary increase.

He’s a damn good person and I’m honored to have him as my lead.

I’ll bet he has himself a time this weekend.

Last edited 2 years ago by yeah right
4
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not more than Leticia James, but I’m sure he’ll have a nice time.

0
yeah right

“I’m making you a captain Christopher. You’ve earned it.”

“About fucking time, T!”

3
WCS

Wait, wait… your name isn’t “yeah right”?!

2
Doktor Zymm

Ok, time for attempt #2 at the historic bar tour. Let’s see if they actually rebooked me!

2
Doktor Zymm

Apparently getting poked in the ovaries is similar to getting hit in the goolies, it’s just doesn’t happen that often what with them being internal and all

5
ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

Last edited 2 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
3
yeah right

My former wife got poked in the ovaries.

Twice.

2
Doktor Zymm

It’s Saturday here, but on the sexy side my eavesdropping leads me to believe that the 2 gentlemen on my right at the bar are on a first date! Both from out of town, so perhaps an app-enabled first date. Get it on, you two!

7
Doktor Zymm

They both mispronounce ‘panacea’ though, poor Classics education that kids get these days, sad!

3
2Pack

Jeez what are they teaching these kids. And I though gay guys made a point of knowing shit like that.

3
Doktor Zymm

Their hair gel game is on point, so at least they’re fulfilling expectations on that score

3
2Pack

Hey I’ve been out of touch for a bit, as is the way of our people, how is the job hunt going?

1
Doktor Zymm

I have 3 interviews next week, one final rounder, and 2 prelim, then another middle stage one the week after. Some interesting options in there, so fingers crossed for something decent. Thank you for asking!

5
Sharkbait

Good luck to you too!

3
Doktor Zymm

Thank you!

1
2Pack

Knock ’em dead kid!

2
yeah right

Go get it Dok.

We believe in you.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I never judge anyone for mispronouncing a word, because it usually means they learned it via reading, and people who read are rad.

comment image

4
Doktor Zymm

I’m not sure that’s as true as it used to be, what with the yootoobes and such. Though on balance I’m glad they have a decent vocabulary, it’s more of a kids/lawn moment

0
BugEyedBoo

How many times do you think I read ‘bourgeoisie’ before I found out how it was pronounced.

4
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Eight!

1
BugEyedBoo

I seem to remember ‘Borge-ee-oy-see’ rattling around in my brain a lot.

1
yeah right

I leave my Google search results open before I even begin to type.

0
yeah right

I really hope they make it.

What a cool first date.

1
2Pack

Well lady number 6 is kinda makin me goolies tingle. Well done Mr Ayo, Monica and I are having a splendid time here, certainly beats a kick in the nuts.

FB_IMG_1708062174088.jpg
2
Mr. Ayo

A very fine selection, sir. Both are indeed a better option than the Goolies strike.

2
litre_cola

Hour and a half late. BeerguyRob the gentleman he is picked me up and now we are drinking at a cash only underground bowling alley.

9
scotchnaut

So you wander into a movie theatre in 1984 and see this scene.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dlwYwhvy3Q&ab_channel=ThomasFlight

1
scotchnaut

Followed by this scene.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FqLmS86apE&ab_channel=RaccoonWarriorPrincess

1
scotchnaut

No dialogue at all and you’re sitting on the edge of your seat the entire time. That’s when you think, “Who are these Coen brothers anyway?”.

2
Brick Meathook

Terminator needs clothes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFzwGg46waM

2
scotchnaut

“Makes you think of all the poor Terminators out there that weren’t able to find new clothes, fresh water and a new forever home.”

-Sarah McLachlan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSz16ngdsG0&ab_channel=sarahmclachlanfan

7
King Hippo

Her song about “kiss you so hard, I’ll take your breath away” is an all-time Hippo favoUrite.

Kisses like that are better than sex, in my book.

/may not be especially good at sex

//certainly not now, but yeah, even back then

2
scotchnaut

Hey, as far as sex is concerned, if you can make yourself moan you must be doing something right!

2
King Hippo

All the workers at the car dealership (at least service dept) were masked today. Are we gonna have MOAR goddamned #NuAIDS fuck up Diamond Joe’s re-election??

1
Sharkbait

Hopefully we start doing what that Japanese do and mask up out of courtesy when we’re sick.

3
King Hippo

Being considerate of OTHERS? What about meeeeeeee???

3
scotchnaut

Just how many Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters have you had tonight?

3
Gumbygirl

I’m pretty sure we’re a reality show for some sadistic aliens.

2
King Hippo

Back to the SEXY:

#1 – fire in teh hole amirite??

#8 – 100% the stripper I pay $20 every other song so she sits and talks to me

2
ballsofsteelandfury

Nice to know your type!

1
King Hippo

ah mean, YOU see her shoulders, yeah??

1
scotchnaut

I’m not going to get into the details but I think I deserve a hearty “Thank You” at the very least.

https://ca.sports.yahoo.com/news/former-kansas-and-nba-center-scot-pollard-receives-successful-heart-transplant-after-difficult-donor-search-012610571.html

5
King Hippo

you want a toe? I can getcha a toe.

2
WCS

Because you harvested the heart?

1
scotchnaut

Is this a setup?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xECUrlnXCqk&ab_channel=DovidDovidson

2
Brick Meathook

This is from Once Upon A Time In Hollywood (2019), which I think is brilliant.

Watch this five minute clip. I never noticed before, but four minutes of it is a single continuous take, and a lot goes on.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzVoT9LxiNk

3
Mr. Ayo

Did Bruce Lee’s estate lawsuit ever go anywhere?

0
Brick Meathook

not sure

0
Mr. Ayo

Because that scene was awesome, and no one should have to pay for it.

0
scotchnaut

I think the lawsuit ended up on Han’s Island if I’m not mistaken. They lost in the semi-finals to the estate of Marvin Gaye-who sued Pharrell and Robin Thicke.

1
scotchnaut

/speaking of “discount experiences” down below
//this happened a few years ago

Grocery Manager: “I was approached by another supplier and their prices are cheaper-I’m going to give them a try.”

Me: [kinda stunned] “Ok, well, if you need anything just give me a call.”

[five weeks later]

Grocery Manager: “This company sends me crap and refuses to give me credit on the stuff that I can’t sell. I guess I’m coming back to you with my tail between my legs.”*

Me: “Glad to have you back.”

*the ‘tail between my legs’ is a verbatim quote**

**I had no idea she was a Furry

6
Sharkbait

Legit a furry?

0
scotchnaut

Naw, just joking.

0
King Hippo

You rubbed your bollocks on future orders, dintya?

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Considering the last sentence, as least it wasn’t “my dick between my legs”.

0
Sharkbait

The job I interviewed for with the massive red flags for back to me today. Shockingly I didn’t get the job. I was the token external candidate they needed to interview. Oh well. I applied to a different role today. One that says it’s hybrid but it’s in New York. We’re gonna see what their definition of hybrid really means…

4
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[hears the word “hybrid” and perks up] – KelcePig

2
Mr. Ayo

Half man, half pig, half Kelce.

3
King Hippo

Once again – we needs to compile an enemies list. And plan an excursion to SPITE THEM ALL.

2
Doktor Zymm

Good luck! Does the company have any other offices kind of near you?

And go leave that other place a shitty review on glassdoor

1
Sharkbait

Thanks! No offices near me, they’re a league so it’s NY or bust. I’m expecting nothing but why not take a shot.

1
Doktor Zymm

Totally, if they love you they should be willing to negotiate on full remote

1
King Hippo

Hippo, trying to write during off-season hay-ellllll:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRrn67ovuRQ

2
ballsofsteelandfury

I haven’t hit anyone in the Goolies, but I did hit them in the upper thigh.

Last edited 2 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
2
scotchnaut

The last time I took a incapacitating hit in the Goolies was in grade school. Years later Cyndie Lauper told me my Goolies were gonna be okay.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Scu81EW4UC8&ab_channel=The80sJukebox

4
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[is so fucking sick of hearing that music EVERY GODDAMN FRIDAY NIGHT] – Olivia Manning

0
ballsofsteelandfury

I got hit in the Goolies with a baseball in Little League. The coach made me lie down on the ground like a starfish face down until the pain went away.

My nuts were purple for a week but luckily the ball landed between my dick and the testicles, so it wasn’t that bad.

The fucked up part is that it wasn’t even in the game. It was during warmups as we were tossing the ball back and forth.

Lesson: Don’t turn and make a joke to your friends if you don’t have the ball in your hand or glove.

0
scotchnaut

I played goalie for three years before a coach bothered asking me if I wore a Nut Cup. My mom and dad had no idea (how is that possible?) that it was mandatory equipment. Just think, if a wonkily-deflected puck had hit the mark, I’d never be the father of a pair of skull-fractured kids! smgdh…

4
WCS

pair

You have multiple skull injured children?! What the hell happened to the other kid?!

1
scotchnaut

Not more than a month(?) later the oldest got into a kerfuffle with a buddy that slept with his ex that wasn’t my son’s ex at the time of the coming-together, if you will. There was an exchange of opinions and an empty 40oz. vodka bottle was introduced to the proceedings by a third party.

4
Doktor Zymm

Or they would have been born already fractured, which would have been a time saver

0
Gumbygirl

She said they were ” good enough.” Not exqctly a ringing endorsement, Scotchy!

0
Gumbygirl

Exactly. Shit piss fuck.

0
scotchnaut

I’m sure the edit issue will be attended to any day now.

1
Brick Meathook

My condo complex has been changing out skylights and this week was my turn. They are a new size so there was carpentry involved. On Monday they did the exterior and it sounded like a war what with the nail guns and such. Today, they did the drywall on the interior. This was all directly above my studio workstation, which is a not-inexpensive mound of gear, plus all my shelves. I’m in a project so nothing could be moved or disconnected.

I sat in the same room with them the whole time, reading my iPad until I went nuts, and then I started watching the two guys work very precisely as a team, since the obvious boss guy was up on a ladder the entire time. It was pretty cool. They were very good.

This looks like Christo is my decorator.

IMG_0390.jpeg
5
scotchnaut

“I get this arty-farty reference.”

-Running Fence, HOA warrior

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Now that my broken thumb is healed I can get back in the swing of it.

Ayo’s plans for the offseason (artist’s conception):

comment image

5
litre_cola

Pay for a budget airline. Get a budget airline.

Freaking out shows you are expecting better. You shouldn’t.

6
scotchnaut

When I go discount and get a bad discount experience I quietly stew in my own juices stupidity.

4
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

(also juices)

0
Gumbygirl

At least you aren’t stewing in maggots, like that poor bitch on Delta. Once when I was about 11 or so, my frenemy Jennie Breniser took a stick and knocked a cobweb full of those tent caterpillars on my head. I made her pick them off of me, then I beat the shit out of her. We had a complicated relationship.

2
Sharkbait

Jet Blue is about as budget of an airline as in willing to go

1
ballsofsteelandfury

I love JetBlue

1
Sharkbait

Flying them to Yinzburgh next month.

2
ballsofsteelandfury

I’ve flown them multiple times cross country from LA to Boston and New York. Great airline and great service each time.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I would make a point of taking the Long Beach – D.C. flight whenever I needed to make the trip.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Yes! I’ve done Long Beach to NY too! Long Beach is great!

0
116
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x