Good morning folks! Time to wake up and smell the horseradish!

Did y’all remember to “spring forward” this morning? Don’t want anyone to be an hour late for anything.

I’m only here to help.

Special thanks to Brother TAJ for filling in last week. It’s always nice to keep you folks puzzled and off balance that way.

Hot damn have we got a very special Sunday Gravy for you today.

We’re going to feed our asses some prime motherfucking rib!

Prime rib is one of the most indulgent dishes a person can subject treat themselves to. A decadent meal of the single choicest cut of beef, slow roasted and served with a bevy of side dishes, over-the-top beverages and accoutrement that either makes us feel gloriously satisfied or depressingly ashamed. 

There is no middle ground!

A curious specimen the prime rib. Not near as flavorful as say a dry aged steak, not quite as high-toned as filet mignon and to be honest, not really overly seasoned or dynamic, but something about that rich, fatty meat and the sheer gloriousness of a bloody rare to medium rare bite of beefy goodness just defies description.

Where the fuck else are you going to get a combination like that?

When I visit a nice steak house I usually don’t order the prime rib. I like a dry aged ribeye myself and I’m still a sucker for a medium rare filet if we’re being honest. Pair that with a side or two, a plate of oysters or some seared ahi to start and a nice Cabernet or Pinot Noir and I’ll be happy to drop a few hundy with zero regrets.

Prime rib is like the earworm of food. When that shit gets stuck in your head there’s only one way you’re gonna get it out. Got to eat that motherfucker. Gyros do that to me too. Hell, gyros are so bad that all it takes is for someone to even mention one and I will not be able to stop thinking about it until I hit up a Greek restaurant and remedy that shit.

Bu that’s another menu.

You know how the annual prime rib schedule works. Always around the holidays and ONLY when it’s on sale.

After all there’s a very damn good reason why this shit is a special occasion meal.

This being that reason.

Mother. Fucker! Look at the top price not the bottom one. I did get this shit on sale after all.

Yes I bought this before Thanksgiving and had it in my freezer for a couple of months before breaking it out for feasting. Then I let this bad boy defrost for 2 plus days because it’s heavy and dense.

Freezer emptying project complete after this thing came out.

After fully defrosting and on the day of cooking you’ve got to bring this beast out of the refrigerator and let it come to room temperature in order for it to cook properly.

I let this bastard sit out for 3 HOURS prior to cooking. You’ll see why.

Advance notice! You are going to get bloody today. Serious wet work. No, we will not be trimming any fat. We will be using that fat properly!

Before firing up the oven, position your oven racks so the roast will cook in the dead center of the oven, then preheat your oven to 500.

Yes. Five hundred. May want to turn on the oven fan, open a few windows and even bring out a second fan because shit may be getting smoky up in here. Yes, my smoke detector did go off a few times during this first step.

The idea here is we will cook the roast in a hot-as-fuck 500 degree oven, then reduce the heat to 325 and cook for 14-15 minutes per pound.

We start by salting the slab LIBERALLY.

Well, I tend to do everything liberally now that you mention it.

This recipe calls for 2 tablespoons of ground black pepper. Being a fan of freshly ground pepper of course I chose that direction but there is no way in HELL I’m going to hand grind 2 tablespoons of peppercorns.

That’s what grinders are for.

Yep, my repurposed coffee grinder. Couple of quick pulses yields this…

We’re going to make a paste of fresh herbs, black pepper and garlic. Lots and lots of garlic.

Dump about 1/4 cup of olive oil into a bowl and make a paste with the black pepper, about 8 cloves of minced garlic and a tablespoon or two of fresh chopped thyme and rosemary

The rub goes on the rib.

This is where we would properly use the underrated culinary term “Slather.”

Coat it well, All sides.

Put this baby in a foil-lined roasting pan for easier clean up. This will be important in a couple of hours. Believe me.

This goes into a 500 degree pre-heated oven for 15 minutes, then back that heat off to 325 and continue cooking for the aforementioned 15 minutes per pound. This was right at 5 and 1/2 lbs, so it cooked for an additional 1 hour and 40 minutes on 325.

Here’s a handy roasting guide for your varying levels of “Doneness.”

Use a meat thermometer, if you have one on hand, to check the temperature of the meat:
Rare: 120 degrees F (about 10-12 min/pound).
Medium Rare: 130 degrees F (about 13-14 min/pound)
Medium: 140 degrees F (about 14-15 min/pound)
Medium Well:150 degrees F

When done, remove the prime rib from the oven.

See that nice sear on there? Yeah. That’s the shit I’m talking about.

Now the single most important step. LET IT REST FOR 30 MINUTES! DO NOT CUT INTO THE MEAT YET! AT ALL! Not even to sneak a taste. 

You! Yeah you! I’m talking to you! Don’t. Just don’t!

Cover with some aluminum foil and set aside.

We’ll be serving our roast beast with some baked potatoes today.

There are a couple of ways to prepare your baked potato for bakeage.

You can wash, wrap in foil and bake. You could also peel, wrap in foil and bake, or you can do what I do. Wash, rub with olive oil, pierce a few times with a fork and sprinkle with salt, then bake directly on the oven rack.

That’s a proper goddamn potato as far as I’m concerned.

Your baked potatoes should have already been in the oven at 325 for 30 minutes when the prime rib comes out of the oven. The resting period for the roast allows the potatoes to finish baking and also allows us to get busy with our side dish.

Homemade creamed corn!

Yeah, I know I know. Not everyone is a fan of this shit but when done right? It’s fucking delicious. 

1 15 oz can – drained or an equal amount of frozen or fresh corn

2 cups – give or take – of half and half

1 tablespoon of sugar

2 tablespoons of butter

2 tablespoons of flour

1/2 teaspoon of cayenne 

1/2 teaspoon of thyme

Salt and pepper.

A few good grates of parmigiano reggiano

 

Get your ass some corn!

Drain that fucker!

Set aside and build your roux.

Turn up the heat to medium and make a roux already.

Slowly add in the half and half while stirring continuously. Get your sugar, cayenne and thyme in there too.

Thicken, stir, add a bit more half and half and repeat.

When you reach the right consistency – you’ll know – add the corn.

Stir until blended and bubbly.

Taste, season with salt and pepper as needed, then grate some fresh parmigiano reggiano on top for funk and flavor. Funkify this funky motherfucker! 

Let’s plate up shall we?

First and foremost you will REQUIRE horseradish. God DAMN do I love this stuff. I like anything that hits my sinuses like a goddamn nuclear warhead. Wasabi? Over here! Hot Chinese mustard? All of it please! Love, love, love it!

I’m a fan of this here brand.

Yeah, yeah. Everybody got jokes.

This stuff is already prepared and ready to rock and it does indeed pack a sizeable nasal wallop. Just like I like it.

I serve mine in its own very special little ramekin dealie.

Service time!

A little closer please.

Closer!

The way to determine perfection in the doneness is to look at the rib cap. See how the meat is basically breaking apart and the fat has turned into a lovely, meaty butter?

That my friends is prime rib at its highest level.

Get fucking primal on this shit!

Any guess as to how much trimmed fat was discarded from my prime rib? Not ONE goddamn bit! That fat is butter at this point. The only thing I didn’t do was grab this fucker by the rib bone and gnaw on it like a goddamn savage.

Actually I trimmed the bones away for future use. You will see them again on Sunday Gravy.

Holy mother of GOD was this fantastic. Dip that juicy rib eye into that radioactive horseradish, followed by a big bite of butter drenched baked potato, some of that creamed corn and a big slug of cabernet?

We are officially shitting in tall grass, my friends.

Now when I said you were gonna get bloody today… Well?

That’s a small price to pay for what we accomplished here today.

There will however be some dishes afterwards. They’re as inevitable as death and taxes but you’ll get through it somehow.

And that’s a wrap!

Hope everyone has a great rest of their weekend. Be sure to let me know where you will be eating prime rib later today. Like you have any control over it at this point.

Don’t forget! Academy Awards tonight. There will be an open thread and everything.

Be well all and see you next week.

 

PEACE!