Subsequent GTD reflections

Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
There is no terror after the bang of the gun; only the anticipation in it [in bed].
Alfred Hitchcock

Not sure my safety blankie is bulletproof, but think we could market this.

As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.

Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.


As God as my witness, the Alpha and the Omega of this [sitcom clip] draft is the WKRP Turkey Drop.

ballsofsteelandfury


Can we re-introduce trial by ordeal? I just want the simple pleasure of watching Trump play Aztec deathball or similar against far superior competition.
Doktor Zymm

Hell, just have Balls play him at golf. I guarantee that Trump can play nowhere near 15 strokes of his claimed handicap.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Golf is kinda missing the death aspect though, unless it’s speed golf and he has a heart attack running between holes. I would dig that.

Doktor Zymm

No cart, no caddy. He’d be dead by hole 3, tops.
Gumbygirl


Fuck Calgary. Dirty fucking assholes.
Mr. Ayo

This comment is valid both in relation to hockey and politics!
Doktor Zymm


Today, I celebrated my 30th Anniversary in the golf business by not even thinking about work for the first time in like three months.
Col. Duke LaCross

Do tell! Vacation?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Nope, just getting some shit done around the house. Going to New York with the future Duchess LaCross in May though.
Col. Duke LaCross



Brick Meathook


Bound by honor and blood oaths to post this when opportunity presents itself.


Redshirt


https://www.wtrf.com/news/balls-out-bowling-is-back-where-nudity-is-required/


IT’S BACK BABY

WCS

How did I not know about this??

ballsofsteelandfury


Plus: Nudity
Minus: Pittsburgh nudity
SonOfSpam


Facebook and Instagram is down. We’re just one XTwitter outage away from fixing society.

Redshirt


Been fucking with the Pollsters again, Brick? (or was that Gumby)

“For example, in a February 2022 survey experiment, we asked opt-in respondents if they were | licensed to operate a class SSGN (nuclear) submarine https://washstat.org/hansen/2022Kennedy.pdf|. In the opt-in survey, 12% of adults under 30 claimed this qualification, significantly higher than the share among older respondents. In reality, the share of Americans with this type of submarine license rounds to 0%.
The problem was even worse for Hispanic estimates. About a quarter (24%) of opt-in cases claiming to be Hispanic said they were licensed to operate a nuclear sub, versus 2% of non-Hispanics.”

BeefReeferLives

I’m only qualified (not licensed) to operate an SSBN submarine, and a particular one at that.


However, when I was sixteen I would have answered “yes” to all most of the fucked up questions just to skew the poll. I would have done this on general principal, and if it was a marketing poll I’d still do the same today.

Brick Meathook

Good news is that anyone can pilot a Titan submersible.
SonOfSpam


It’s looking very likely (up 8 points with 57% of the vote in) that my brother-in-law is going to win his race for judge.

WHO WANTS TO GO COMMIT SOME FELONIES IN [REDACTED] COUNTY?
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly


Found a funny;

gordon ramsay: you’re telling me you lost him after he ran through this tunnel?
[wile e coyote nods vigorously]
well let’s have a look at the tunnel then
[he faceplants into the wall]
fuck me it’s painted. that’s brilliant. he painted a tunnel onto the wall. incredible linework.
rockingdog


Proud dad moment: Daughter was trying to figure something out, then did figure it out, then pronounced “I am so smart…S-M-R-T…I mean S-M-A-R-T….”

SonOfSpam


Just got some Malort in the mail,
Today was a good day.

/because ai haven’t had any yet you see.
litre_cola


I love that the Jumbo Shrimp Legal Tampering period is about to start.
ballsofsteelandfury

Brinks Trucks are on standby waiting for the word to back into free agents driveways.
Redshirt

Tonka Trucks are lined up for Eli to load all the Legos off his bedroom floor, or else no Dunkeroos and Paw Patrol before bed.
LemonJello


Boxing promoter shenanigans? NFW!
BugEyedBoo


Don T


I’m so proud of my brother-in-law. He really put the work in for his campaign, and now he’s on his way to getting free motor coaches courtesy of a friendly billionaire sponsor that Leonard Leo will hook him up with.

I think the best way for me to show my appreciation for him is to drink some of the bourbon he bought me for Christmas.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly


Found a Funny

rockingdog


This Gold Cup is a joke. They’re playing in a shallow lake.
Mr. Ayo

Are they showing pictures of me?

SonOfSpam

No, it appears their Spam filters are working

Mr. Ayo

SO MANY women have that setup.

SonOfSpam

SPLOOOOSH!

Mr. Ayo


Reports are that Joe Mixon is gonna be cut as well.
Redshirt

I think he’s got a puncher’s chance of hanging in there.
Horatio Cornblower


Never change Barrie, Ontario

litre_cola


Will Maker*: “So, say all four of you die in a plane crash, who should receive the proceeds from your estate?”

Wife: “Uhhh…”

Me: “Uhhh… first come, first served?”

*not his real name
scotchnaut

Door Flies Open Inc. We can finally get our place in the woods.
litre_cola


So what you’re saying is that Roger Goodell supplants Gary Bettman as inter-galactic disgrace?
ballsofsteelandfury

      Roger Goodell supplants Gary Bettman as inter-galactic disgrace?

WCS


Found a funny;

Her: You lasted 38 seconds.

Me: It was doggy style so technically it was 266 seconds.
rockingdog


Wife is low-key pissed that the dogs decided to stay here with me after she called them to come down to be with her. #marriageissues
scotchnaut

How does this get ‘resolved’? By a snarky comment that she makes that I completely ignore.


/stay tuned for more successful marriage tips!
scotchnaut


The republicans even make their own congresswomen give speeches in the kitchen.

Col. Duke LaCross


Wow, the republicans are exiting the House Chamber in a fraction of the time they took on Jan 6th, 2021.
Col. Duke LaCross


clint greasewood
March 7, 2024 8:52 pm
Biden pushing Drugs on the American people.

Remember, if someone offers you free drugs, you say thank you, because drugs are expensive!
Senor Weaselo


Litre eats big Turks with the wrapper on
BC Dick

That would would make it no less inedible.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly


This might be the future Mr. Gumbygirl, when Gumby shuffles off this mortal coil.

Gumbygirl


TIL that baby carrots are really full-sized carrots cut to length and carved into shape.
BugEyedBoo


Sexy Friday Appropriate?

Redshirt

It’s that Lowratio?

ballsofsteelandfury

It is now.

WCS

Goddammit.
Horatio Cornblower


Watching a random Netflix show, Cardinal, and the actors for McMurray and Gail from LetterKenny are in it. So used to them as the LetterKenny peeps that it’s weird to see them as something else
Game Time Decision

how’s the show itself?

King Hippo

Pretty good. It’s based in Northern Ontario, so fun when they go to Toronto to try to pick out landmarks.
/unknown if any transient people were harmed in the making

Game Time Decision

Scotchy isn’t gonna like you calling them “people”
King Hippo


I got a nice sleep on the flight back to SFO, and we’ll be getting to the gate about 40 minutes early. This doesn’t really make up for the delay fuckery yesterday, but it’s definitely gonna be helpful that I’m able to grab some coffee and breakfast before driving down to go horseback riding.

I just about covered my airfare in the poker game, and I had a great time which covers everything else!
Doktor Zymm


/wifey is visiting a friend in the hospital and this actually happened

Support Staff: “Here’s your beef broth.”

Friend: “I can’t have that, I’m a vegetarian.”

Support Staff: “Oops! My apologies. I’ll be back.”

Friend: “Thank you.”

/later

Support Staff: “Here you are.” [presents friend with a bowl of chicken broth]
scotchnaut


My gig ends at 1. I’MA TAKE AN EXTRA HOUR HOME DRIVING TONIGHT.

With any luck I’ll be in bed next to Senorita Weaselo by 3:30! Or parking will be trash and it’ll be after 4:30. We have a 1:30 call for a concert tomorrow where I have to pick someone up.

We’ll be back later to see how I do.
Senor Weaselo


Update: We are very not done and the choir leader estimates we’ll be done around 3. Meaning 4.
Senor Weaselo

My advice would be to fake an injury to your bow hand.
SonOfSpam


THIS COLLEGE BASKETBALL TEAM THE ARIZONA WILDCATS I CALL THEM LEBRON JAMES JR’S TRICUSPID VALVE BECAUSE THEY ARE OPERATING OUT OF RHYTHM!
blaxabbath


Announcer for the USC-Arizona game just blamed the university administrations for the demise of the PAC-12 because they got arrogant and overemphasized academics and didn’t recognize how much money football brought in.

Aren’t we about overdue for an extinction level event asteroid?
Horatio Cornblower


Here’s some history. US Festival 1983. Third day. Pictured is yeah right, DJ TAJ and friends.


You get to figure out who is who.

yeah right


My guess: DJ TAJ is in the back wearing jean shorts. Yeah Right is bare-chested on the right side.

ballsofsteelandfury

Actually I’m bare chested on the left side back.
yeah right


“A wall of Liverpudlian noise…”

Look, if you don’t like The Beatles just say so, announcer-guy.
Horatio Cornblower


/Wifey, working on a Sunday, has been able to place a homeless man with multiple health issues into a long-term care facility

Her: “He was so grateful, he said that you’re lucky to have me!”

Me: “Can you really trust the opinion of a guy that’s been homeless for two years, though? Seems like his decision-making skills aren’t exactly up to par.”

Her: “…”
scotchnaut


Buddy does Philadelphia

Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show



Found a funny;

7-11 CLERK: what are you doing

ME: staring at the hot dogs on the metal rollers watching the oscars
rockingdog


Ah, my favorite part of the Oscars!

Horatio Cornblower


Jesus God Almighty

Horatio Cornblower

I’m endlessly amused by the fact that Space Karen still seems to think he’s one of the cool, funny, popular kids.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly


“Hey honey…here’s The Zone of Interest”

(points at penis)

Wife: (wholly uninterested)
SonOfSpam

“Oh is it called the ‘zone of interest’ because it takes an interminable amount of time for it to grow a mere three percent?” – WifeOfSpam
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly


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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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Game Time Decision
Recovering lurker; jack of all trades, master of none; Canukian; not as funny as he thinks he is. Funny, but not funny ha-ha
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Doktor Zymm

Do y’all use fabric softener? I don’t and my parents never did, but apparently it’s the thing that millennials are killing now?
This is my only real association with fabric softener
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAC8MDEhKQw

SonOfSpam

We do, but I have no idea if it’s good or I’m just throwing money away.

I guess things smell nice (until two seconds after I put them on)

Doktor Zymm

The plus side of being in the Bay Area – way more data science jobs with higher pay, pretty kickass weather, neat hiking and wine and people and stuff around, BOGOF1cent wine sales
The minus – more competition for those jobs, everything is pointlessly expensive, while overtly less racist and corrupt than Illinois the politics still somehow manages outcomes that are just as racist and corrupt, bars kinda suck
The neutral – driving styles and road conditions aren’t the worst but still kinda suck, have only experienced mild earthquakes in my 6 years here, public transit is crap but I live in the suburbs so it’s the same as everywhere else in the country

King Hippo

Though your DC driving experience has to help.

Doktor Zymm

Oh it’s way better than DC/MD/VA

LemonJello

Live look-in at I-95 right now:

comment image

King Hippo

Declan makes it 4-2

King Hippo

Walkoff save wins it. Extra pudding for all of Gov. Rhodes’ manservants!

King Hippo

Outstanding David Raya save, Gooners take the advantage.

King Hippo

Equalizer no doubter. 1-1

King Hippo

Odegaard made Hippo nervous, but converts. 1-0

King Hippo

NC State 4 minutes and change from bursting its NIT bubble. But also avoiding a third loss on the season to SillyCuse.

/no, am not watching

King Hippo

Gooners taken to Extra Time by Porto (who look like a bunch of guys rounded up at the bus station). Fortunately, they don’t have a Prem fixture at the weekend.

scotchnaut

Are you completely done with Wolven basketball or is it just this year?

King Hippo

Completely, at least until they fire Keatts. But probably after that. I hold a grudge like a motherfucker.

scotchnaut

Yeesh, they brought in Big East refs for this WCC Champeenship-at least two women have bloody noses.

scotchnaut

Oh look, Gonzaga has thrown together a gaudy 30-2 regular season record. Wonder how they’re going to choke this year.

Curveball: It’s the women’s team.

Doktor Zymm

Just had an hour data interview, which I think went pretty well. If nothing else, the interviewer laughed at my physics joke about vans going relativistic speeds, so that’s a win

Sharkbait

comment image

blaxabbath

Ravens gonna pass for 70 yards and go undefeated next season.

Redshirt

All in Shotgun Wishbone Formation.

Redshirt

“We got a TE and we’re trading Mixon instead of releasing him? We’re getting something out of nothing? What a minute…we’re the Bengals. Nothing good happens without something worse to…”

“Derrick Henry to Baltimore.”

“There it is. The Universe is balanced once again.”

IMG_3227.jpeg
Redshirt

Seeing Aaron Jones run out in Vikings away colors in Green Bay for Week 1 would be beautiful.

scotchnaut

Steelers Fans: [eyes closed, fingers crossed] “Please don’t be Kenny Pickett, please don’t be Kenny Pickett. It’s not Pickett! [eyes squint] Oh, fuck no!”

2Pack

Great hustle here GTD.

I’m playing a game here with HR, and it’s that time again. Time to come up with something of suitable higher importance than my attendance at the quarterly mandatory all hands meeting. For the past 2 meetings they have been trying to give me a (routine) 45 year service award, they do an awards presentation at the start of these 2-3 hour sux fests. I hate those fuckin things. I’m gonna go hide out in the woods for a critically important training assessment. Followed by flirting with some waitress somewhere as a write up my bullshit report. I wish the HR lady would just give me the stupid thing like I’ve asked her. Save me the Cheetah flips.

Sharkbait

Mixon isn’t cut! He’s being traded to somewhere called “Houston”

2Pack

Has anyone asked him if he’d rather be cut?

Doktor Zymm

Whitney Houston?

Redshirt

Props to Mike Brown. He’s a shitty GM but a good negotiator.

“Give me a Conditional 6th or I’ll trade him to Jacksonville for a glass of water.

blaxabbath

I bet Deshaun Watson has a list of stupid bitches that could use a Joey Kiss