A Quick One for New Years’

The 2024 National Football Lee League Year starts today at 3:00 PM Central, at which time the Ravens will formally sign Derrick Henry.

Baltimore does have a Titan Turncoat bent, having signed Eddie George and Steve McNair way back then. I did celebrate, a lot, when George and McNair did not bring Ultimate Glory to the Ravens. But, right now, I declare myself intrigued about what Henry can do in his new offense:

Personally, I recall 2023 Henry “getting stuffed repeatedly” against loaded boxes, but perhaps “winning” is an advanced stat to which only PFF suscriber types are privy to. All things considered though (re-checks Tennessee’s 2024 regular season opponents), yes: I want Derrick Henry to have a good-to-great season in Baltimore, perhaps even topping 1,000 yards by Week 15. For wellness purposes, I prepared myself to handle execrable human being John Harbaugh getting success. Hell, at this stage, I’m for anyone BUT the Chefs; enough already, really.

I’m also enthused about the Russ Wilson / Arthur Smith Experience in Pittsburgh. I don’t remember the Steelers having ever signed a free agent QB for a starter.

Fine, I had forgotten that Michael Vick was in Pittsburgh on 2015, but he was clearly Plan B for Remnant Roethlisberger. Russell Wilson on the Steelers provides so much possibility, from Kenny Pickett stinkeye to Arthur Smith going ballistic after Russ cooked instead of running a bootleg reverse flea-flicker on 3rd and 2 on the opponent’s 42.

Also notable, the Houston Texans becoming the Offseason Champs. I hope they match the success of other Internet darlings like the 2011 Dream Team Eagles (© Vince Young), and the 2019 Browns—which unleashed on the world the Baker Mayfield Overexposure, the biggest media environmental disaster since NFTs.

The Minnesota Vikings are expected to sign QB Sam Darnold today.

And that’s all I got for today, as Day Job is a demanding and possessive god. But to leave on a high note, dynamite music and frenetic choreography!

Darg. Yeah you gotta watch “Jaan Pehachaan Ho” on YouTube, but it’s totally worth it. Maybe you saw it in 2001’s Ghost World, so click it NOW. It’s good for ya.

Banner via DefensivePhotography Ltd. Got a note for the photographer? Email to noreply@YdontUtakethepic🖕🏻.edu

5 5 votes
Article Rating
Don T
Poor choices, mixed results. ¡Viva Puerto Rico Libre! Titans4Eva
Subscribe
Notify of
62 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
jjfozz

Current situation within my family via Public Enemy lyrics:

“it was war they wanted”
“and war they got”
“but they wilted in the heat when my uzi got hot.”

Asking Chuck D if he would like to be the negotiator in our next family meeting.

scotchnaut

How To Sound Old And Misogynist In One Easy Step:

/on the phone with a customer

Her: “How is it that there are no women working in the back of the warehouse?”

Me: [shaking off Vietnam flashback] “Uhh, we did at one time have three women working and there was a remarkable amount of, let’s say, ‘dissension’ among every employee while they were there. Nowadays we have none of that. [pause] I’m sure it was just personality clashes though.”

Brick Meathook

Fuckin’ broads, man. They just won’t shut up.

scotchnaut

Can’t tell you how many times I told them, “Washing my feet is a privilege, not a right!” but would they listen? Well, you know the answer.

Brick Meathook

comment image

jjfozz

“Plus, none of them had really good tits.”

scotchnaut

About To Start: The Women’s Big Sky Conference Championship (Northern Arizona vs Eastern Washington) sponsored by Kate Bush!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sV7w5TaYjRA&ab_channel=KateBushMusic

Gumbygirl

Weird and wonderful!

scotchnaut

The start sounds like a typical Bush tune and then very soon goes off in every direction. I’m sure she was intentionally subverting the expectations of her listening audience.

Horatio Cornblower

My Day Job is currently one of the early Circles of Hell, thanks to a new operating system that seems to have designed to increase stress and anxiety in laboratory rats. When it’s working, (which is, generously, 80% of the time), it’s confusing and incredibly inefficient. When it’s not working it will shut down the entire office for hours at a time. Everyone is way behind on everything, it’s hard to find anything when you need it, and sending your staff an assignment is basically pushing a button, watching whatever you just typed disappear into the ether, and hoping for the best.

There’s a mandatory meeting about it next week. We’re clearly not going to ditch the new system, so hopefully we get told that we have to deal with it but, oh yeah, the person who made the decision that this was a good idea is being fired into the Sun.

Literally.

Game Time Decision

have you tried turning it off and then back on?

Gumbygirl

Smack it with a hammer.

Brick Meathook

Does this operating system have a name?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Bruce

Horatio Cornblower

Lowratio.

I hesitate to give the real name because I’m not convinced they deserve all the blame. I think a lot of people made a lot of mistakes to get to this point.

jjfozz

If you get drunk and piss on the servers, that usually fixes any problem.

Fronkenshteen

Bournemouth/Luton getting underway on Peacock for those awaiting Champions League matches.

yeah right

That a’way boys!

King Hippo

Good HT team talk!

Fronkenshteen

one for the ages!

Redshirt

https://www.fox19.com/2024/03/13/bengals-chime-trade-rumor-about-burrows-girlfriend-kroger-justin-jefferson/?outputType=amp

Bengals fans are trying a will a Jefferson for Higgins and draft picks into existence and Chase and Bengals twitter are trolling flames into the fire.

Also, if Joe Burrow’s girlfriend has to work at a Kroger grocery store, then him shaking hands with Agent Orange is now the 2nd worst thing he’s done,

Brick Meathook
Sharkbait

Must…resist…urge…to…deploy…OSINT

Brick Meathook
Mr. Ayo

comment image

Redshirt

Russell Wilson’s Career Post-Super Bowl (Artistic Interpretation)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clKqZZynW9E&pp=ygUYaG9tZXIgc2ltcHNvbiB0cmFtcG9saW5l

2Pack

You crack me up Don T. Nice.

blaxabbath

On the NFL Zodiac, 2024 is definitely the year of the _______________ .

WCS

Slime mold

King Hippo

Fuck Lion??

BrettFavresColonoscopy

RAT! BIG FUCKING RAT!

Oh what’s the question? I just saw a picture of Roger Goodell.

Sharkbait

I thought you saw Gary Bettman

WCS

comment image

jjfozz

Kelce Assault and Battery Charges

blaxabbath

Feel you on the Day Job.

How long until YR goes to Portugal? I am going to crash my career and be in Hawaii before he can say Make Portugal Great Again.

yeah right

Hopefully less than 3 years but no more than 5. Still working away until then.

blaxabbath

2.333 (uhhh continuous, of course) years and I’m in Hawaii or eating a bullet. Not both.

Gumbygirl

When the Day Job gets you down…try Day Drinking!

facebook_1710185192821_7173036594993809314_92508842711063.jpg
LemonJello

My Jaguras won’t have to deal with getting their collective shit pushed in by El Tractorcito twice a year?

HUZZAH!

comment image

Redshirt

Yay.

Brick Meathook

comment image

WCS

DangerRUSS won’t play a single down for the Stillers in the 2024 regular season.

BugEyedBoo

You think he’s Kenny Pickett’s mentor? I’d bet you a crisp $5 bill that Wilson starts, based on no evidence whatsoever.

Saw this on the intertubes, abridged version:

Steeler Fan: I’ll be happy to Let Russ Cook, because watching Pickett twirl his way into yet another sack is making my brain hurt.

Bronco’s Fan: I’ve got new for you, Wilson has the copyright on that. He used to be quick enough to make that work, but now…

King Hippo

Seeing a man 2 inches shorter than him, but with hands twice as large…will do wonders for Uncle Jack’s confidence!

WCS

I’m simply saying he’s hurt before the season starts.

After that?

comment image

BugEyedBoo

.

buythat.gif
Redshirt

.

IMG_3232.jpeg
ballsofsteelandfury

I don’t get it. Is he the new Hamburglar?

Redshirt

Doubt it. The Hamburglar catches the hamburgers.

2Pack

Ouch

IMG_20240313_165014.png
King Hippo

The whole Saquon thing is weird to me. The front office jerked him around a good bit, and he put his body on the line in hopeless cause after hopeless cause. He won’t be able to walk to the bathroom without constant pain, by the time he’s 40.

What, exactly, does he owe YOU??

King Hippo

(then again, I have seen “Big Fan” and been told it is pretty spot-on)

blaxabbath

No one owes anyone anything.

King Hippo

I would purchase this coffee mug.

Senor Weaselo

One of my studio viola students may burn his Saquon jersey. You do you (he’s 11), but my only caveat is if you do that, play Taps for full effect.

Sharkbait

My brother in law said he’s gonna burn his Saquon jersey. I asked him if I could come to the burning and was informed that it’s happening in my solo stove.

blaxabbath

I think player jerseys should be donated to the poor. I want the homeless in Phoenix completely decked out in Cardinals gear at every overpass median.

Sharkbait

Don T at 3:01 pm:

comment image

blaxabbath

I fired a guy today. It was the right move.

I’ll kill my wife before she can get away from me.

Gumbygirl

I’ve always told Gumby I don’t believe in divorce, but I DO believe in homicide.

jjfozz

“You know, sometimes I want to fucking murder you, but then I remember that you actually vacuum the house and drive the kids to practice.”

That’s an actual Mrs. Fozz quote after we had commenced a three day scorched earth war with one another.