Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: 3… 2… 1…

Happy New (League) Year! The league year officially changed over at 3:00 DFO time (4:00 Eastern), meaning 2023 contracts are officially off the books and 2024 contracts have come into effect, including free agency. So all the free agent stuff that you heard the last couple of days are finally official. Plus…

QAARON’S ONE OBSERVATORY CIRQLE WATQH: Yeah, that’s a potential thing. Fun fact, Hermana Weaselo did meet RFK Jr. for a work thing! And then a student at that school for the Q&A session called him out on his shit. (This was in 2017, so well before the current crop of stuff.)

Anyway, this brings up a new question: Can the vice president still play football, or hold another job? (Yes, there isn’t anything in constitutional law, that we know of.) And, can the Secret Service play O-line? This also adds to Aaron Rodgers’s best Homer Simpson impersonation: Jeopardy host, potential vice presidential candidate, all the other shit…

Also, you’d think Aaron Rodgers wouldn’t want to join with a political dynasty that involves a prominent family.

Well, in the spirit of things, In (Ty)rod We Trust. (Hot take: If I were elected president, I’m changing our official national motto back to E Pluribus Unum.)

Okay, what else is going on? Maybe anything that makes me sane? Okay, saner.

DANCE OR DIE! (Or both.)
Big East, maybe not involving tourney teams! Georgetown vs. Providence (6:30, FS1)
CLUBHOUSE BATTLE!: (ACC 2nd Round) Wolven Sort vs. Sillycuse (7:00, ESPN2)
A10 action (2nd Round) When We Learn About Bilikens vs. Semi-Redundant (St. Louis vs. Duquesne, 7:30, USA)
Breezly Bearcat vs. Ominous English Chanting (Cincinnati vs. #16 Kansas, 9:00, ESPN2)
Free Win for the Bubble? DePaul vs. Villanova (9:00, FS1)
Big Sky Championship: Montana State vs. Montana (11:30, ESPN2)
(B1G action on Peacock, but screw it)

Dunk or 3?
Finals Rematch! Gold Nuggets vs. Emo Jimmy and Pals (DEN vs. MIA, 7:40, ESPN)
LeBron and Pals vs. BEAAAAAAAAAM (LAL vs. SAC, 10:05, ESPN)

Still Doing That Hockey
Kings of Chaos vs. Kinda Blue (7:30, TNT)
Ovi’s Corpse vs. k²-k+n=p; 1≤k<n (WAS vs. EDM, 10:00, TNT)

CONCACAF Cup: Because they can, I guess
SV Robinhood vs. Herediano (6:00, FS2)
Fightin’ Messis vs. Hot Chickens (Inter Miami vs. Nashville SC, 8:15, FS2)
Dvorak’s New World Symphony vs. Not Guacamole (América vs. Guadalajara, 10:30, FS2)

Maybe I’ll have caught up on my sleep from my gig that ended at 4 in the morning!