Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.
This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
The universe doesn’t like the secrets. It conspires to reveal the truth to lead you to it [in bed].
Lisa Unger
So your freak flag flies in your dreams or when in bed with your partner?
As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.
Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
Found a funny;
Wins for Oppenheimer and Godzilla Minus One mean this is the first time a movie and its sequel both won Oscars the same year.
rockingdog
Gardner Minshew in a Raiders uniform just feels so right. If Uncle Rico had gone pro, there was only one team he could have possibly played for.
Cecil Rhodes
The Eagles have signed both Tony Pollard and Saquon Barkley (!) today.
Horatio Cornblower
I’d say they are gonna go run heavy again. Imagine Hurts and Saquon one-upping each other on Leg Day.
King Hippo
Saquon will probably be happy to play on an offense that has other people in it
Doktor Zymm
And speaking of global atrocities…how angry are Bearistocrats! supporters at the prospect of the club building a FUCKING DOME?
King Hippo
They haven’t figured out how to draft a quarterback in, what, 40 years, and they’re going to figure out how to build a domed stadium?
Please.
Horatio Cornblower
You like that, huh!? You like that!?
Kirk Cousins, the top free-agent QB on the market, has agreed to terms with the Atlanta Falcons, per sources. The Vikings pushed strongly for Cousins’s services, but in the end, the Falcons were going to go as far as they needed to make this happen. pic.twitter.com/MyqxY27nxd
— Dianna Russini (@DMRussini) March 11, 2024
Horatio Cornblower
Since when do the Falcons need help choking in the post season?
Doktor Zymm
“We got a TE and we’re trading Mixon instead of releasing him? We’re getting something out of nothing? What a minute…we’re the Bengals. Nothing good happens without something worse to…”
“Derrick Henry to Baltimore.”
“There it is. The Universe is balanced once again.”
Redshirt
I’m all for not announcing the signings
Game Time Decision
Seeing Aaron Jones run out in Vikings away colors in Green Bay for Week 1 would be beautiful.
Redshirt
Steelers Fans: [eyes closed, fingers crossed] “Please don’t be Kenny Pickett, please don’t be Kenny Pickett. It’s not Pickett! [eyes squint] Oh, fuck no!” [ this comment was when it was just Russ, so even funnier now]
scotchnaut
Don’t let the door hit you on the way out DeVante.
Sharkbait
L-O-FUCKING-L
RFK Jr says he has been speaking “continuously” to Aaron Rodgers over the last month, and has him at the top of his short list for VP. https://t.co/T9KciV6VKw
— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) March 12, 2024
SonOfSpam
Somewhere there is a version of chatGPT that created our universe and the prompt was ‘eating tide pods’
Doktor Zymm
I actually was pretty funny during my interview (in a geeky data way). You may think this means I was relaxed and at ease, but AU CONTRAIRE, I will make bad jokes even when I see the tram of death coming for me
Doktor Zymm
Also, Inanimate Carbon Tyrod changes locker rooms at Snoopy Stadium (which would be a far better name than MetLife, NO ONE DENIES THIS)
Senor Weaselo
I generally frown on chemical castration, but NAWT averse to slipping a lil’ sumin into the Browns’ gatorade
Doktor Zymm
They probably use water from Lake Erie so its just a matter of time.
LemonJello
Redshirt
I don’t get it. Is he the new Hamburglar?
ballsofsteelandfury
Doubt it. The Hamburglar catches the hamburgers.
Redshirt
Oh, so A-a-ron is also on the Sandy Hook conspiracy thing.
Didn’t think I could think less of him but here we are.
SonOfSpam
Don T
Pool update.
Whatever seal coat they put on this thing had been stinking for 36 hours and shows little sign of letting up. They say like 3 more days til can walk on it. Dudes put a lot of effort into this thing.
blaxabbath
Okay, based on the number of Tornado Warnings, it appears God has conceded the argument and has begun to wipe Ohio off the face of the Earth.
Redshirt
Why so late?
BrettFavresColonoscopy
SonOfSpam
I saw this and immediately thought of Horatio
Sharkbait
Oh and fuck Aaron Rodgers with every rusted tool in the shed.
BrettFavresColonoscopy
I was just talking to Gumby about Kurt Wallinger! Damn, that sucks.
Gumbygirl
Karl. We were also talking about a guy we went to high school with named Kurt Krieger, got them mixed up!
Gumbygirl
The Cure/Cult thing is starting to make sense now…
ballsofsteelandfury
Sorry for the obvious anger below. My dog is dying. He’s gone blind. He’s 14. Can’t get out of bed. You’ve all maybe done this but it’s a first for me. Thanks for the community and the meathooks pictures. I like the planes and the ships.
BC Dick
Don’t be sorry he’ll be gone, be thankful you had him.
Brick Meathook
Wife comes downstairs to check her laundry. (I am going nowhere near that, I do the rest)
“It’s not done yet, what are you doing?”
“Drinking wine, listening to Method Man watching hoops. Happy place.”
“Sweet, enjoy.”
Love that woman!
litre_cola
My jet engine model has hit a snag. It turns out this is not ideal to do while drinking.
I’m currently trying to assemble these two parts of the engine:
Those are M2x6 screws that mate to M2 nuts. This requires both a 1.5MM driver, and something to hold the M2 nut. Normally not an issue (for me, I’m built differently), but you can see that the screw top is directly below the above surface which means a 1.5MM screwdriver can’t get in there. And my 1.5MM allen key has a short side that is still too long to fit in that gap. So, that means I have to use the wobble end on the long side of the allen key. This very much means I cannot get a reliable hold on the screw head and very much increases the likely hood of striping the screw head. On the other end, there’s no 1.5MM socket to hold the nut. So instead, I’m using a small pair of pliers. Unfortunately those nuts are less than .5MM thick, so they twist wildly when trying to mate with the screw. This precision is, again, very difficult while drinking. Worse, these tiny screws and nuts like to fly about when squeezed too hard, and then they are incredibly difficult to locate.
Mr. Ayo
Nonetheless, I persist, and will conquer. Back to work.
Could you have put the bolts in the other way so that the nut is in the middle and the driver now fits?
Game Time Decision
Yes, but they’re oriented this way for a reason. Well on a real jet engine there’s a reason. On the model I could get away with that.
Mr. Ayo
Listen to Mr Boeing about safety over here
Game Time Decision
Me: “You know, I’m gonna miss Aaron Donald.”
NFL Network: “We now celebrate the career of Aaron Donald by airing Super Bowl LVI, wherein Donald made Cincinnati’s Offensive Line his bitches and made Joe Burrow cry for his momma.”
Me: “…well that didn’t last long. See ya in Canton, you cheat code!”
Redshirt
Doktor Zymm
I really shouldn’t plan trips with the Dr. Mrs. It only causes her to get a taste for goin’ places, and doin’ stuff.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
It’s really your fault for not making her be barefoot, pregnant, and giving State of the Union rebuttals in the kitchen
Doktor Zymm
Now this would be sexy!
Horatio Cornblower
I legit want the Steelers to have fields convert to receiver just for the memes
Brocky
Mina Kimes out here taking shots like she was on the 3rd floor of a book depository.
Horatio Cornblower
“You just made an enemy, buddy. I’m adding you to the list!” [unravels 10 foot long scroll]
-Qaron
scotchnaut
Artists conception of today’s HOA meeting
Gumbygirl
It’s not a mythical sea creature getting released, but some flightless birds need to be dealt with.
Sharkbait
Once again, I can’t believe that QAaron would consider joining a family that has a propensity for receiving shots. I mean, that seems like his two least favorite things!
Also reading this while seeing a bird on a power line reminds you that birds aren’t real (except the birds of prey, which are our best friends and allies against the avian spies).
Senor Weaselo
Thanks, hippo. Lately I’m not capable of containing my anger as eloquently as even this, so I’m not going to say anything else. I hope all you folks are feeling strong as spring breaks wherever youse are and all your brackets carry you deep through the tourney. I’m 17 months sober now, which is really fantastic family-and-health-wise, but I’m finding I was using booze to try to put the fucking lights out on shit like the subject of this screed, and haven’t yet figured out how to deal with it sober without it sending me into a blinding rage. And it comes every day, the willful stupidity, with no letup in sight. So to make myself more generally palatable, I’ve been unplugging somewhat and lurking more. Love you guys and love this place. Hope you feel better, Sir Hippo!
Fronkenshteen
Great work on the sobriety Fronky. Truly great work.
litre_cola
Found a funny;
just got a job at boeing as the little plane goblin from that twilight zone episode
rockingdog
My heart is so goddamn full I could fucking burst with happiness.
I got to hug and cook for and spend time with my oldest daughter and all 3 of my granddaughters today.
Now I’mma smoke one and beat Taj’s ass in a round of cribbage.
Happy!
yeah right
Found a funny;
Doctor: I have some bad news about your son. I’m afraid he’s too cool.
Mom: can he… can he still go to school?
Doc: you may want to sit down for this
rockingdog
Leafs pissing away multiple leads-ya gotta love it!
scotchnaut
It’s not even the playoffs yet!
Mr. Ayo
“You know what they say about practice? It makes choking in the first round perfect.”
-A. Iverson, hockey analyst
scotchnaut
I have made many mistakes today. First, I had this for dinner:
Yes, that’s the Chizza. KFC’s pizza on a fried chicken. There are many things wrong with this. The marinara is way too sweet, the “mozzarella” has no flavor, the “chicken” is typical KFC quality. And what should be the only redeeming quality of the meal is the fried skin on the chicken is, of course, turned to soggy mush by the “pizza” toppings. I highly recommend getting a quality friend chicken an a quality pizza separately and combining if you want to recreate this abomination.
Mr. Ayo
These American announcers doing the Wings/Penguins game don’t know anything about hockey. They haven’t mentioned the Maple Leafs once!
scotchnaut
There are two conferences at my next hotel-a business one that I’m attending and Furnal Equinox 2024. Needless to say, there’s quite the mix of folks in the lobby. Why? Because no one’s room is ready
scotchnaut
Is Furnal Equinox some Canadian Furry Convention?
LemonJello
Yes. The person in the purple fox costume dancing to the Tom’s Diner remix was a dead giveaway for me
scotchnaut
Say “Hi!” to Lowratio from all of the Clubhouse!
LemonJello
If you have having trouble “loggin in”, once logged in it may say that you are not logged in, at that point, refresh the page. If that does not work, then clear your cache and “loggin in” again.
Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
Stay busy and safe out there.
NOTE banner image from here
https://www.wsj.com/sports/aaron-rodgers-mike-tyson-jake-paul-nba-replay-9be763b1?st=rq2lb2n95hhpv5h&reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink
The above firewall-free link, from the vaunted sports page of the Wall Street Journal (actually it’s pretty good and funny):
https://ibb.co/Xbd397s
Nice going, Robert Moses:
My view shows me just a small stretch of the Gardiner Expressway-it’s jammed to the nuts in both directions all day and into the night.
“Come to Toronto”, they say, as with the traffic there, you will nevar be able to leave.
/rush hour starts at like 0700 and gets a bit better around 1000, and then bad again from 1500 until 2000.
//however, the DVP at like 0100 is fun to drive at speed with the twists and hills ( and drunks)
The DVP’s route was designed by that ‘not-serious’ guy in the group that ordinarily would never be given any real responsibility. My guess is, that hippie’s father oversaw the project.
I’ve never had Korean fried chicken but it’s a 4(!) minute walk from where I am right now. Seems like too much effort.
Worth the walk. Get the chicken that gets a turn on the grill after frying.
The bastards didn’t let me saunter into the kitchen!
You’d see bony illegal-immigrant slave-labor cooks chained to their stoves and being whipped by their leather-clad muscular overlords. “Fry! Grill! Fry! Grill!” they shout (in a primitive foreign dialect) between vicious and painful whip cracks. This scene is also true in every Chinese restaurant as well.
Yeah, but that Garlic Tikkudak is so good!
Someone’s porn preference descriptions leaked onto our site, I’m thinking.
Name of the place?
Mama Lee’s Korean Kitchen.
It’s at the very beginning of the Longest Street In The World!*
*Yonge Street-it stretches from Toronto to Thunder Bay, I’m told
New jorb, new proletariat achievement unlocked. Joined the local union today to keep the evil capitalist pigs from doing exactly what they’ll always do.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhQ5678cJU8
Get that dental plan, WCS!
Lousy Smarch weather
Last week sunny and double digit temps ( in Celcuis) during the day
This week, right around the freezing mark as the high and snow.
Great recap as usual GTD.
My day took a bad turn towards the suck today. But I trust tomorrow will be better.
Poor Lowratio, out there catching strays in the comments.
Fun Fact: “Catching strays” usually gets Eli’s Animal Planet viewing privileges reduced or revoked for a couple of weeks.
Hey, Rikki, the Washington Post wrote an article about you:
https://wapo.st/3Tvz6ky
Not gonna lie, I figured it was a comparison on top vacuum cleaners on the market.
I didn’t say they wrote an article about dr mrs rtd esq
Oh, ours wasn’t panic-bought. It was our trip to Japan that inspired us to get them. And then when the toilet paper shortage hit, we just laughed, and laughed, and laughed.
/also drank, and drank, and drank