Your Wednesday Champions League Semifinal Vuelta Open Thread

Roma – Liverpool (2-5)

Balls: Those two goals are what make this match intriguing.  In the previous round against Barcelona,  Roma lost the first game away 1-4 and everyone had written them off.

Then,  the return leg in Rome happened and they got the 3-0 result they needed.  The away goal scored in garbage time in Barcelona proved decisive.

Can they possibly do it again?

Predicción: 

I think that if Barcelona can collapse in Rome,  so can the English. A 3-0 home win that AGAIN makes garbage time goals crucially important.

King Hippo: Nothing like that is ever gonna go my way when the Shite are involved, I assure you.  Roma will score an early goal, the crowd will get energized…then Klopp’s fuckface army will equalize and that will be that.

Predicción: 2-2 (Shite 7-4 on aggregate)

Don T: [Wipes concealer from libidinous nose]

We in the KFA [Klopp’s Fuckface Army] are jubilant to see the progress of the squad through the season and look forward to a difficult game with a hungry opponent. Or some other balderdash about vigilance and keeping a competitive outlook. But, you know, effusively and shit.

This will not be another Barcelona debacle. Unlike Barça, Liverpool players can defend. However, the LIV goalieS are shakier than a Parkinson hello. But the Reds press, effectively, often scoring on a counter. Teams like that don’t panic if they get down 2-0 in the first half. Barcelona could, and their Messidependencia was neutralized. Imagine the weight of letting slide a comfortable aggregate lead AT ROMA and not even getting into the Champions semis, while still carrying a season-long unbeaten streak in La Liga. LIV wouldn’t crumble under Klopp.

In 2016, Klopp’s Liverpool was in the Europa League knockouts against his former team, Borussia Dortmund–coached by his protégé: Thomas Tuchel, a fine patron saint of nerds as any, IMO. Here he is, in an animated state:

The second leg was at LIV and the Reds were down 2-0 in the first half, needing three goals in 45 minutes. But the mento did not become the manatee: Liverpool won 4-3, by not changing much of what they did during the first half. Knowing some of ya fine folks find off-putting Klopp’s staggering awesomeness, I’ll just link a story of his composed halftime talk.

Roma will fight to the death. I won’t be mad if they win. Get through? Tch, please.

Predicción: AS Roma 2 – 2 Liverpool (Liverpool goes to the final 7-4 in aggregate). And Eusebio Di Francesco coaches Wolverhampton to win 2023 Mall of the Emirates FA Cup (pictured).

Litre_Cola: The two road goals make this somewhat intriguing as look what happened last round against Barca. I see the futbol Gods making me choose between Real Madrid and Liverpool. Apologies Hippo but I will get behind Klopp and Salah, he has been a great story this year. The xenophobic Reds supporters have even sung nawt raycess things about him! I just can’t see Klopp parking the bus in this one, at least in the 1st half. If it is still tied at halftime then Klopp will have every man behind the ball.

Prediction: Roma 2-1  because why not?

In European news, did you see this guy in Turkey? This is some super fandom right there. He is crazy and rich enough to have people killed I reckon. Or I believe in my mind. Whatever.

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BONUS FÚTBOL!!

We here at DFO will be going balls deep in our World Cup 2018 coverage to the dismay of North Carolina rednecks everywhere.

We will be previewing EVERY team in the tournament.  Some previews,  however, will probably not involve as much fútbol as they will instead be opportunities to reflect on a particular country’s features.

Translation: Expect a lot of pics of girls with big butts in the Colombia preview.

Hence,  we are looking for someone to tell us their tale of how they hooked up with a Swedish foreign exchange student in high school.  There’s your Sweden preview.

See? They practically write themselves!

If you want a particular country,  here is the list of countries and the posting schedule:

Posting Schedule (All times 1 PM DFO):
5/13 – Egypt – TBD
5/14 – Russia – TBD
5/15 – Saudi Arabia – TBD
5/16 – Uruguay – @don_t
5/17 – Iran – TBD
5/18 – Morocco – TBD
5/19 – Portugal – TBD
5/20 – Spain – @ballsofsteel
5/21 – Australia – @ballsofsteel
5/22 – Denmark – TBD
5/23 – France – @litre_cola
5/24 – Peru – TBD
5/25 – Argentina – @don_t
5/26 – Croatia – TBD
5/27 – Iceland – TBD
5/28 – Nigeria – @sonofspam
5/29 – Brazil – TBD
5/30 – Costa Rica – TBD
5/31 – Switzerland – TBD
6/1 – Serbia – TBD
6/2 – Germany – TBD
6/3 – South Korea – TBD
6/4 – Mexico – @ballsofsteel
6/5 – Sweden – TBD
6/6 – Belgium – TBD
6/7 – England – @themaestro
6/8 – Panama – TBD
6/9 – Tunisia – @blaxabbath
6/10 – Colombia – TBD
6/11 – Japan – TBD
6/12 – Poland – TBD
6/13 – Senegal – @litre_cola

Countries will be assigned on a first come first served basis.  Even if you’re not a current author,  we’ll figure out a way to give your drunken ramblings the love and attention they deserve!

Please make your selections in the comments.