Hey, if you had April 15th in your “what Monday will be the first that Horatio forgets to post a mock draft” come on down and collect your winnings.
I have no good excuse, I just straight up forgot.
So rather than rush one of the good ideas that other people have given me we’ll just go back to something sports-oriented. I’ve been playing a lot of Immaculate Grid lately, which is a trivia game where you match players in a 3×3 grid, with each player having to meet two categories. Generally it’s a player having to have played for two teams, but it could be someone who won a Silver Slugger and spent his entire career with one team, or hit 30+ home runs in a season and won a Gold Glove.
The bottom line is I’ve spent a lot of time playing baseball-related trivia lately and we might as well do something with that.
I realize baseball is heresy to some of you, and to that I say: Too bad. Baseball, despite what Rob Manfred would have you believe, (and likely thinks himself), baseball is not boring and is fact quite entertaining, so long as you have like an ounce of patience and don’t need large humans smashing into each other every 37 seconds in order to get an erection.
Also today is like 70 degrees, (Fahrenheit, as God Himself intended), and sunny here in CT, so it’s a baseball kind of day. Certainly not a work day.
Your topic today is first-basemen. Draft your favorite, or just someone who played at least one game, (I love the Immaculate Grid topic; you can get some deep cuts out of those), at first base. And then let’s all just kick back and discuss how our Mondays are going.
With the first pick I’ll take my favorite all-time player, although I am not quite old enough to have ever seen him play.
He had an all-time career, only derailed by ALS. Never forget that Cal Ripken only broke his record for consecutive games played because Ripken, Sr. was his manager, (Ripken had some seasons in there where 1 or 4 games off probably wouldn’t have hurt), and because everyone agreed, for some reason, that the games lost due to various strikes never actually existed.
The rest of you are on the (very belated) clock
Now go do that voodoo that you do so well!
(Sorry, the image won’t load because of a some sort of a server issue, or so the message I keep getting tells me. Mondays, amirite?)
First pick (since a bunch of good ones were taken): Bugs Bunny.
OF COURSE the first home indiana fever game with their new star is against the team based in new york
Celebrating that last time a New York or Indiana team was relevant.
now, if boston hilariously fucks the dog that might change
welcome to hell, caitlin clark
The Midwest is just like the South but more efficient about it, and Indiana is the Alabama of the Midwest
Can’t believe Indiana took some rando white chick #1.
I’m pretty sure Indiana has never wanted anything OTHER than rando white chicks, even when a strong talent somehow comes out of that godforsaken place, like Michael Jackson, the cultural pressures made him want to be a rando which chick
That’s a great point. I think Andrew Luck is also considering transitioning.
He would make a great lady, I will bring him a welcome basket and a good reference for eyebrow grooming
wnba commish knew the draft ratings would be skyrocketing so she absolutely had a no-bra day and made sure that arena was a crisp 46 degrees before she got on camera
dont ever recall adam silver or david stern doing that
a) Lots of bras are really crap and still show tons of nipple without these idiotic foam pads that are a total pain in the ass and get all fuckettied up in the laundry
b) turns out your tits actually age worse if you wear a bra consistently as the muscles that hold them things up weaken. I always love it when I have scientific justification for my inherent laziness and aversion to clothing!
c) Nipples are power
a) wife HATES bras, rarely wears them
b) hers seem to be aging fine, probably because of A
c) power, squared
You married a good lady, and you can tell her that I, one of your imaginary internet friends, said that
Under the assumption that every pro-baseball player probably played all the positions at some point as a kid, I’m gonna take Dock Ellis
Jesus Fucksticks! Sportscenter started at 6pm and they opened with the Leafs and didn’t stop until 6:14.
#Canadia’sTeam
I believe you meant Sportscentre…
4. I’ll take my grandfather. Apparently he was good enough to play at a semi-pro level.
Great rookie year…thought Wally Joyner would be a perennial all-star. Lesson is, never hope.
Wally World!
Like THIS GUY (was 1B by the time he joined the #BFIB) – Gregg Jefferies.
Now that I am on the plane, I shall make my final selection, Clue Heywood, who led the league in most offensive categories, including nose hairs.
I pick Dr. Walnutt Knuckles, the doctor who gave me a prostate exam this afternoon. That ought to have counted for first base at least.
Artists conception:
Could have at least given you some treats before he got Friskie with your ass. Meowwww!
“Played 1B, Min. 1 Game” is one of the grid sections for today’s Immaculate Grid.
Can’t make this up.
Ted Kluszewski
One of the original “Sun’s out, guns out” guys.
Big Klu! Better call the vet, because those pythons are siiick!
And I like that ‘Redlegs’ from those Dirty Commies Cold War days.
OK, which one of you assholes added the featured image?
Oh, I wish I could take credit for that! My guess is RTD.
Guilty as charged.
signed, not Orenthal James Simpson