Before elaborating on Uruguay, let me address The Thing for single-issue Uruguay observers: Luis Suárez, 37, is in the squad.
Uruguay won the first three recognized world championships of fútbol early last century, and later the 1950 Mundial in Brazil. Those championships represent the four stars atop Uruguay’s crest:
The wheat, of course, represents cows.
These accomplishments suggest Uruguay is the ancient Greece of fútbol: a beacon in the distant past, “Whatever became of?” at present. Uruguay almost missed the 2022 Slave Labor World Cup. La Celeste had terrible form during qualifiers and its legendary coach, Óscar “El Maestro” Tabárez, was fired in late 2021. For cause, I think: Uruguay under late Tabárez (2016-2021) was stale, unwatchable, and scored less than a leper in a nunnery. Playing in the heights of Bolivia is no picnic by the Titicaca, but Uruguay losing there 3-0 is embarrassing shit. Right after that, Diego Alonso was hired as manager, gets wins in the last four qualifiers, and Uruguay goes to Cutter—where Uruguay failed to advance from the group stage
Diego Alonso quit, hasn’t been missed for a second, and let’s never speak of him or Qatar ever ever again. And we don’t have to, because it’s Bielsa time baybeh!
Marcelo Bielsa is an Argentinian coach who comes from a family of jurists and politicians. His brother was an attorney and his sister an architect, and both became government ministers too. Marcelo chose fútbol, which he studied and analyzed endlessly, with a lot of rigoUr. Since infancy, Bielsa subscribed to fútbol magazines and started collecting fútbol videos from Europe in the 70s. By the mid-90s, Bielsa had one of the biggest video collections in the world. Bielsa coached the Argentina National Team in 2002 and took to the South Korea / Japan World Cup 7,000 videos. Fútbol historian Jonathan Wilson wrote that someone once asked Bielsa how he planned to spend Christmas and New Years. Bielsa answered: two hours of physical exercise, and 14 hours watching video. In other words, Marcelo could keep NFL coach hours.
Bielsa is nicknamed El Loco—“the madman”, just like Argentina’s President, Javier Milei. (Heaven help you if you stray from convention in Argentina, because they will brand you crazy for life; hooray comformity!) Bielsa’s brand of crazy sauce, it turns out, is outworking everyone and having integrity. His training sessions are very demanding and players who are overweight cannot practice. In his first coaching stint, at Newell’s Old Boys, Bielsa proposed scouting all over Argentina (instead of just the capital and bringing players from the provinces), and divided Argentina in 70 sections. He and another scout covered the whole country and discovered future figures in international fútbol: Gerardo Martino, Mauricio Pochettino, Gabriel Batistuta, Jorge Valdano… When Bielsa was going to interview with Athletic Bilbao, Bielsa watched twice each one of the team’s games the previous two seasons. When Bielsa coached Leeds in the English championship, a Leeds assistant was caught videotaping an upcoming rival’s practice. Bielsa was threatened with a sanction and he admitted to it in a press conference (“this is usual in Argentina”), AND he showed what he taped and explained what for. He paid the fine personally, not allowing Leeds management to pay for the violation.
Another time while Leeds was in the Championship: during a game, a player from the opposing team was writhing on the ground, injured. Leeds continued the play and scored a goal, instead of kicking the ball away to allow the opposing player to recover. The other team complained of Leeds ungentlemanly whatever and Bielsa ordered his players to score an own goal to undo the potential… Unsportsmanlikeness.
Bielsa did not do multiyear contracts at clubs, insisting on a year-by-year basis–a dynamite model to ALL romantic relationships, but I digress. Bielsa negotiates all the terms himself, without an agent, and proposes conditions even as to refurbishing training facilities. Twice he walked out from teams (Lazio and Lille) because Bielsa felt the teams changed the terms unilaterally—particularly about player signings, not compensation to Bielsa. Teams did not abide so Bielsa walked away: THIS is “madness”? Smells a lot like dignity, I dunno…
Bielsa’s trophy shelf has lots of room. The 7,000 videos taken for the 2002 World Cup did not help Argentina make it past the group stage, but Bielsa took the Argentina U23s to Olympic gold in 2004. Bielsa redid the Chile National team program (2007-2011), but resigned just before Chile won its first Copa América in 2012 with the players he scouted and developed. He does not grant interviews and has gotten into trouble for lack of media access. Bielsa wants to give all reporters the same access, whether from a small regional outlet or big multinational conglomerate. So he speaks only in press conferences and seems more animated discussing the process than the results. Bielsa is stubborn, as is anyone who develops a clear vision, is a stickler for details, and wants to see a project through. Personally, I think Bielsa is the opposite of superficial and a very deliberate leader who takes preparation very seriously. Oh yeah,
Uruguay, with a population of over 3.4 million, has to be the most talented fútbol nation per capita. Uruguay has 15 Copa Américas, same as Argentina (pop. 46 million), and six more than Brazil (pop. 216 million). Uruguay has won at least one Copa in every decade, except the 1970s and the 2000s. Curiously, Uruguay’s love for Bielsa took time. First, there was the basic offense: hiring a non-Uruguayan for the Celeste job. Then there was the knife twisting, hiring un argentino, the proverbial Big Brother who gets all the fame and cars and status on account of an embarrassment of resources. Bielsa does things his way and is a blue ribbon micromanager, not the best qualities for someone called “carpetbagger” behind his back.
It did not help when Bielsa started calling up new players instead of team stalwarts who were having solid club seasons (Edinson Cavani in Argentina, Fernando Muslera in Turkey, Sebastián Coates, i.e., the captain of champion Sporting CP in Portugal)… Then late last year, in 2026 Qualifiers, Uruguay beat Brazil 2-0 in Uruguay and Argentina by the same score IN ARGENTINA (a match that almost turned bloody). Yeah, that got the hinchas charrúas to get warm with Bielsa.
Uruguay plays a 4-3-3 and has been cookin’. Players to watch on BOLD:
GOALIES
Sergio Rochet (Internacional)
Santiago Mele (Junior)
Franco Israel (Sporting Club)
DEFENDERS
Ronald Araújo (Barcelona)
José María Giménez (Atlético de Madrid)
Sebastián Cáceres (América)
Nicolás Marichal (Dinamo Moscú)
Mathías Olivera (Napoli)
Lucas Olaza (Krasnodar)
Matías Viña (Flamengo)
Guillermo Varela (Flamengo)
Nahitan Nández (Al-Qadisiyah)
MIDFIELDERS
Manuel Ugarte (PSG)
Rodrigo Bentancur (Tottenham)
Federico Valverde (Real Madrid)
Emiliano Martínez (Midtjylland)
Nicolás de la Cruz (Flamengo)
Giorgian De Arrascaeta (Flamengo)
Agustín Cannobio (Paranaense)
Valverde is crushing it at Real Madrid and Giorgian De Arrascaeta, highest contract in Brazil, is currently my favorite player. Bielsa says that he favors Ugarte for his defensive skills and Betancur for his offensive creativity—both passing the ball and arsenal of “Yo Mama is so Fat” jokes.
FORWARDS
Brian Rodríguez (América)
Brian Ocampo (Cádiz)
Facundo Pellistri (Granada)
Maximiliano Araújo (Toluca)
Cristian Olivera (LAFC)
Darwin Núñez (Liverpool)
Luis Suárez (Inter Miami)
Darwin is top dog. I could see Suárez as a very late sub, especislly for pennos for the knockout stage. Remember: no extra time in the Copa. For the knockout rounds, it’s straight to penalties after 90 minutes if still tied. Flashback: Paraguay, back then coached by Gerardo Martino, parked the bus in knockouts and went on to the finals through pennos at the 2011 Copa América in Argentina. That’s where Iruguay won their 15th.
Uruguay plays in Group C,
And has the following schedule, all times Central:
Uruguay vs. Panamá – TODAY WOOO, 8:00 PM
Hard Rock Stadium, Havana 2.0
Uruguay vs. Bolivia – Thursday June 27, 8:00 PM
MetLife Stadium, New York / New Jersey / Milky Way
Uruguay vs. U.S.A. – Monday July 1, 8:00 PM
Arrowhead Stadium, Missourah
Predicción: Uruguay wins its 16th Copa América. But fútbol is a screwy sport where anything can happen, so I will be super humble either way.
Banner via latercera.com
Because 01:08 EST on a Monday is prime ad revenue time, local ABC is airing a rerun of Tard Doc.
I kind of want the aunt of a patient come up from behind our intrepid doctorb (note, NOT a Doktorb), steal his stethoscope and box his ears simultaneously. Let’s just see what happens; it **has** to be better than anything else this show has ever produced.
This will surely stop the robot uprising
[adds you to “the database”] – DJ 3000
Huh, well I guess that ‘splains Mr. & Ms. Met checking out Grimace’s cakes In Mr. Ayo’s post…
https://www.theguardian.com/sport/article/2024/jun/18/bow-before-the-king-did-grimace-save-the-new-york-mets-season
You gotta believe!
That is heart warming!
I made too much sushi, who’s in?
I took the best part of a salmon filet for the nigiri, cut the scraps for ceviche, and turned the skin and other trimmings into salmon skin and cucumber rolls.
I’m all the way in.
“Those are the saddest words I’ve ever heard.” – Deanna F.
I would hit that like it stole something.
Oh, Luis Suarez is about to check in!
Brief experiment with eating a couple grapes or a single macadamia nut did not go well. I think I’m gonna be skipping dinner tonight, hopefully will heal enough overnight to enjoy a pain-free wine tasting tomorrow.
This is easily the worst time I’ve bitten my tongue, even including the time I thought it would be a good idea to sleep with my tongue between my teeth to see if I was grinding my teeth in my sleep
I don’t even know how I’d go about testing that.
THAT’S GOOD TONGUE DISCIPLINE!
Again, unsure if +1, -1…
Doktor Zymm shopping for dinner (artist’s conception):
Panamaniacs done made them some halftime adjustamentes
Gluttony update:
Slight delay on dinner because I realized I was out of sushi rice. Returned from market, started the rice, made a lavender mojito inspired by Zymm (not bad — I only had dark rum, so it looks meh but tastes fine), and am eating the salmon ceviche. Which originally was a little bland, so I added some chili crisp and now we’re talking….
Sounds yummy
so g’d nervous right now…
Knock up the princess again?
If that happened, something is seriously wrong.
You can never have too many heirs.
Just ask the Starks.
911 call gone wrong?
First overnight shift on my own.
“Get your cherry ass out there, Meat.”
Into the wild blue yonder….
“The police are on their way. Can I text you a Simpsons gif while you wait?”
Lucky for you the moon is only 96% full waning gibbous
But that’s when the Weregibbons come out!!!
Didn’t realize you were such a big Panama fan…
Watching soccer while alternating ice and heat on what I am beginning to suspect is a sprained ankle, rather than just the twist I thought I got while stepping out of the way of a couple working their way up Bear Mountain while I was walking down.
Trail etiquette actually gives the person coming down the trail the right-of-way but a) they were clearly newbies and didn’t know that and b) they had a really cute dog that I wanted to pet.
I’d post a picture, but we don’t need any more foot fetishists in here.
Rex R. has left the chat
That’s exactly the kind of riffraff I’m trying to keep out!
His gas was really stinking up the Clubhouse, es verdad
I always heard the opposite, that uphill has right-of-way. Although if I’m going uphill I usually appreciate an excuse to take a break, lol
I think the idea is that it’s easier to stop your momentum going up than down?
If you can’t stop your momentum while going down then you really SHOULD stop and get your shit together before you hurt yourself and others.
If you have a good rhythm going uphill it really sucks to have to break it, therefore the person putting in more effort gets right-of-way. I’m guessing maybe it’s not a well established thing either way though
Come to think of it, I think that’s the way I’ve heard it said before, so yeah, there’s at least a split consensus.
As a practical matter, I take any right-of-way hiking trail issues as an excuse to step off and drink from my water bottle.
The only gentlemanly way to settle it? Dance-off
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2lpV4uopr4
I’ve always understood it as the momentum thing. I’m not really committed to either side of the argument, I just wanted to pet their dog. Which I did, so who’s to say this sore ankle wasn’t worth it? No one, that’s who!
I always thought it was the opposite, but you are right, it’s uphill:
https://www.nps.gov/articles/hikingetiquette.htm
Panamaniacs’ keeper is playing a blinder. It could easily be 4 or 5-nil otherwise
Holy shit, what a GOOOOOLLLLLLLLLL that was
Shocker – Liverpool cunt acting like a cunt. Film at 11.
Watching the Cubs v Mets and they’re eulogizing Willie Mays and that brought something to mind.
I saw him hit a home run live in front of me against the Padres. It was opening day at Jack Murphy stadium.
Willie McCovey was playing first and Juan Marichal was the starting pitcher.
I’m gonna say 1971 or 72.
That visual is still right there in the memory banks.
Well that’s better than the image I have in my head currently.
Uhhh, hrm
Right? Butthole. Toucher.
I knew I liked Grimace for a reason!
That’s Rockingggg!
We don’t need a soccer title, but it’d be funny as hell, anyway.
Took a pretty good chunk out of my tongue but it doesn’t hurt much anymore unless I move it or touch it or drink some water
I don’t know to +1, -1 or just leave it alone.
Just owie. Sorry, Dok.
It’s my own fault for having a hot dog instead of a milkshake for lunch
Could also be that making out with the ghost of Jeffrey Dahmer. That one gets me every time.
That’s on you for conjuring ghosts to reach second base with.
Yeah, of course you substitute out a guy named Weston MacKennie, he should be playing tennis, not soccer!
Or riding dressage.
We would have also accepted “Polo” in place of tennis.
Not at my barn he’s not
Who said that they were a “he”?
It’s in the original comment you replied to, and also I assume mostly “he”s are playing in a men’s soccer tourney
Although I’m sure they don’t do as many sex checks on male athletes as they do on women
We should have tested this out and tried to sneak some of the US women onto the men’s team
I mean, they’re horses, it’s pretty obvious? Oh, you meant the riders….
Of course, I misgender dogs all the time. Someone’s dog comes up to me in a park and I’ll say “he’s a good boy,” and the owner corrects me like I’m an idiot, and I guess point taken but I’m not sure I’m gonna apologize for not immediately checking out your dog’s junk.
Most male horses in riding barns are gelded, so it’s not super obvious to the non-horseperson unless they’re peeing or otherwise letting it dangle out
So I can technically say that I’m hung like a horse?
And we actually do have a horse named “West” so kinda close!
My point was that the name works equally well for a young woman who rides dressage.
Oh maybe, I’ve never actually met anyone with the name so no gender associations
I was near Weston-super-mare once, but that’s distinctly an ‘it’
I checked and it’s not a common girl’s name. But it totally sounds like something the MacKennies from New Canaan or Ridgefield would name their daughter.
I also don’t know what either of those places are, so I’m gonna go ahead and assume you’re right.
They would probably be riding hunt seat though, unless that’s just an east coast thing
Picture the most uptight East Coast white people you can, then somehow make them worse.
You’re getting close.
So definitely hunt seat, and they probably fall off a lot and blame the horse
You have no idea how accurate this is.
Source: my sister lived in the area and her neighbors were something else.
How the fuck is there a flash flood warning in LA County now? Are there actual thunderstorms somewhere?
There were some big ass clouds to the north when I was doing my walk.
Nothing here on the harbor.
I had to drive through not one but two tornado warnings on the way back from my hiking trip. That’ll hold your attention let me tell you.
Not the tornado meme I was looking for, but better
Bolivia is so bad they make the US team look less boring.
Yeah it’s hard to see any of the good teams in the tournament watching this game and getting nervous about the U.S. team coming out and surprising them.
His name is Tony, Tony Meola
Down at the Copa…
Aw, I remember the early days of MLS and hating on Tony Meola as a D.C. United fan.
I hate everything (but at least I left TV off once I mid-nap bleary-saw FlaccidGary get their winner).
You know what’s cool as fuck?
Dinner was ready at the exact moment this game went to the half.
I am terrible with timing. I’m getting better, and will use a timeline for Thanksgiving or dinner parties and be more or less ok. But if I’m cooking on my own? I’ve had dinners at 11 pm….
On track today more or less. Just put some ceviche in the fridge to cure, and by the time it’s ready I should have the sushi rice ready for making nigiri and rolls with the rest of the salmon.
Which means it’s time for another cocktail!
The Lavender Collins was really good. A lavender martini was mediocre — drinkable, but less than the sum of its parts. I’m thinking of some kind of uber-floral concoction involving gin, lavender, rosemary, elderflower, and whatever else seems appropriate.
I had a really good lavender mojito once
Hmm, I did buy some fresh mint today along with the lavender and rosemary….
Kismet!
Was it just the usual rum, sugar, lime, mint, soda, with lavender added?
Not entirely sure, it was about 15 years agon but it was good enough that I remembered it!
I would probably try it that way, muddle in a bit of the lavender with the mint
I’m sure the cocktails don’t affect the timing at all.
Ha, yes, although it’s not so much “got too drunk to cook competently,” and more “I should start on that prep work now but it’s much nicer sitting here on the patio with a beverage.”
Yes!
2-0 USAAAA!
That’s Rockingggg!
2-0
Found a funny:
*succumbing to injuries suffered from getting hit by a Smart car* please just tell everyone it was a regular car
Let’s goooooo!
Pulisic with the early score!
That’s ROCKINGGGG!!!
USA! USA! USA!
That’s a lot of Flamengo players there. Also, the América players are noteworthy as they were the best team in Liga MX this year and it was thanks to them.